Disclaimer: I do not own any aspect of Naruto. Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto and probably Shonen Jump, with license to Viz Media
Warnings: some angst and drama, sexual situations, possibly OOC.
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To Change the Hyuuga
Chapter Nineteen: Jealousy Makes You Stupid: Part Two
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"She needs to rest and let the antidote do it's work. She'll be fine in the morning." The medic-nin explained to Hyuuga Nana.
"I'll stay with her until then." Nana commented to no one in particular.
"No Nana-nee-san." Hinata smiled weakly up at her friend. "I just need rest. I won't be in any danger here."
Nana gave the heiress a skeptical look. "If anything, you have made at least one more enemy today. And she is laying in the bed down the hall."
Baki added his own concern. "I don't think Maaya-san will be an issue. But her family might."
"I'll stay with Hinata tonight." Gaara stated with finality.
Baki, Nana, and the medic-nin were wise enough to say nothing.
"I can take the second shift if you want Gaara." Kankuro offered.
"No." Gaara answered. "You and Temari each have missions with your genin teams starting tomorrow. You need to prepare and rest."
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The medic made a few more comments. Hinata family and soon-to-be family congratulated the blushing and exhausted heiress. But within the hour, Gaara and Hinata were alone. They sat peacefully in her hospital room while Hinata ate her simple dinner of broth and disgusting antidotes and medicine. Gaara merely watched her.
He worried about her today. In many ways. He didn't doubt her abilities, but abilities and skill don't always carry a fight. It was thrilling to see her win so decisively. Not for the first time, Gaara wondered about his feeling toward Hinata.
Even as she half gagged on her medicine, there was something about Hinata that made Gaara want to be close to her. To watch over her. To be a part of her life.
He had acknowledged that he wanted her physically weeks ago in Konoha. But this was a different kind of desire. It was strange to him and it scared him.
"You arranged for Temari and Kankuro to have some time to train me." Hinata half stated and half asked.
Gaara shrugged. "Sunagakure is one of the five major hidden villages. But we still have fewer nin then Konohagakure. Even with our academy, it is taking time to build our pool of active shinobi. Temari and Kankuro are always in demand for missions."
"But as Kazekage, you gave them some time to help me?" Hinata questioned again.
"Yes." Gaara answered truthfully. "It was Kankuro's idea."
"Thank you Gaara." Hinata said simply. "Training with them made all the difference." She was so happy. Gaara helped her. In his own efficient and quiet way, he found a way to give her the opportunity to become stronger and to win.
Maybe it was the antidote talking as she felt her chakra replenishing but Hinata was feeling good. Hinata felt as though all the risks she had taken in the past six months had just paid off. Facing her father with this proposal, pushing it through the Hyuuga clan politics, bringing it to the Konohagakure council, asking Gaara on a date…leaving home. All those challenges, for her to find someone who understood what she wanted to achieve and would help her. Gaara didn't try to protect her, he didn't offer to coddle her or suggest she run away by conceding the match. He didn't push her either. No, Gaara simply gave her the opportunity to grow stronger and learn. Then he let her fight her own battles.
Hinata glowed with happiness as she realized what todays win meant. Really realized it. Gaara would be her partner in life and he would help her to change the Hyuuga clan.
Hinata took a quick sip of water to clear her mouth and then put aside her dinner things. Gaara hadn't eaten, but she wouldn't nag him. She reached for him as she scooted to one side. Gaara took her cue and placed his sand gourd next to Hinata's small hospital bed. He kicked off his shoes and climbed in next to her.
He let Hinata settle down to sleep, but Gaara stayed awake. Hinata's even breathing calmed him. As darkness settled over Suna, Gaara remembered what Inuzuka Kiba had said to him.
"YOU are NOT a complete moron. You should get it. It is your job to Make. Hinata-chan. Happy."
At the time, Gaara had thought it a ridiculous statement. It certainly was not something that Gaara was qualified to do. But now that Gaara cared for her, knew her better, he wanted her to be happy too. The Inuzuka's other words came back to him.
"Ya know, I suggested Kankuro instead of you. At least Shino and I know him. He's strong. Loyal. NOT Crazy…. But Hinata heard that Kankuro doesn't like kids, so she said no."
Gaara stared at the ceiling of the small hospital room and unconsciously pulled Hinata closer to him.
What could he do that would make her happy? Gaara pondered. He sighed. He really wasn't qualified for this job. Hinata should have someone who was capable of making her happy. Someone who wasn't as …damaged...as he was. Someone NOT crazy.
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Baki leaned over the beautiful young woman. He tilted her face up and looked into her eyes.
She gave him a genuine smile that showed her teeth. "Yes Baki-sama?" She half whispered.
Baki sighed. Yep, Matsuri-chan was definitely drunk.
"Aren't you a little young to be indulging?" Baki chided gently as he released the young kunoichi.
"I'm a jonin, I think a little indulgence once in a while is acceptable." Matsuri replied with a slight slur on the word "acceptable." More evidence that she needed to be watched over. Matsuri was not the type of person to speak so informally to her superior.
"It's awfully nice of the Hyuuga Shinji to spend his winnings on drinks and food for Gaara's friends and family." Matsuri continued. "I wasn't too sure about Hinata-san, but it looks like her family is sincere about staying in Suna and helping our village grow."
Baki blinked. Even drunk, Matsuri was an observant nin. She was protective of Gaara, but it seemed that the Hyuuga had won her over. "Why do you say that, Matsuri-chan?" Baki asked as he guided her to a pair of chairs in the corner of the small restaurant. The restaurant had become a party zone for Hyuuga Shinji, several of the Sand nin that he had befriended and the Kazekage's family and friends. It wasn't a loud party, but there were a lot of happy drunks. Matsuri sat with aplomb and leaned against Baki as he settled down in the chair next to her.
"The merchants like them, the trade guilds like them, the academy students like them. And I think Gaara-sama is in love with Hinata-san." Matsuri explained. "It's not likely that they could fool so many people so thoroughly. They don't have much to gain from it anyway."
Baki nodded. It was similar to his own reasoning. He smiled through his partial face covering. It was always reassuring that the younger Sand nin of his village could use their brains.
Matsuri yawned as she leaned further into Baki's shoulder. He shifted uncomfortably. Matsuri wasn't usually his concern. He doubted that she would remember much the next morning. Baki guessed that this was the first time she had gotten drunk. But she probably needed some help getting home. He knew where she lived, it wasn't far from here and his own place, but he could hardly carry her out of the restaurant.
The solution to Baki's dilemma appeared in front of him a moment later.
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Nana's eyes flashed with irritation as she wondered what Baki was doing cuddling with the very young Matsuri in the corner. He didn't seem the type to go after little girls.
Nana's head buzzed pleasantly from the alcohol and she was glad that she had taken Shinji's advice to visit the impromtu party with the Sand nin after she took Kosuke back to the embassy. It was a nice diversion after the last few weeks of work.
Nana had been enjoying the pleasant party with good food and good conversation when she noticed Baki take an interest in Matsuri.
Nana had choked on her drink when Baki had leaned over and looked as though he was going to kiss her.
After she excused herself, from the people she was speaking with, Nana found herself standing in front of the irritatingly attractive man.
"She's quite drunk." Baki stated bluntly.
Nana nodded as she took in Matsuri's sleepy expression. What exactly was Baki intending to do with the inebriated girl?
"Can you help me get her home? It's not something I should do alone." Baki asked as shifted Matsuri so he could pick her up. He missed the look of surprise on Nana's face.
Nana murmured her consent. She took a moment to get her coat and Matsuri's coat and to let Shinji know where she was going. Shinji gave Nana the thumbs up to her confusion. She followed Baki and Matsuri out of the restaurant and into the streets of Suna.
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Nana and Baki carefully put Matsuri to bed. It was surprising how…thoughtful, the gruff Sand nin was with the young girl.
It looked like he even blushed when the sleepy Matsuri said "thank you" and gave a soft kiss on his cheek.
They secured Matsuri's home as they left leaving her to sleep off the alcohol in the safety of her own bed. Baki wondered aloud if he should escort Nana back to the party.
"No thank you. Truthfully, I just want to get out of this cold evening air and have some tea." Nana admitted ruefully as she shivered into her coat.
Baki paused for a moment. "I live a few minutes from here. I can offer you tea." He suggested without looking at the Hyuuga woman.
Nana licked her lips. Alone in a man's quarters. It had been a long time since she had taken any man up on such an offer. Of course Baki might simply be being polite. Still, Nana found herself nodding as she allowed Baki to guide her through the Suna streets to his home.
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Less then thrity minutes past from when Baki opened his front door and when Baki groaned as Nana pushed at his clothes and her hands found his bare chest. He wasn't quite sure what had happened. One minute they were having tea at the small table in his living room. The next minute, Baki was touching Nana's long hair as she leaned into a kiss she initiated. Her soft mouth kissed his as she pulled at his partial face cloth.
Nana didn't express surprise or disgust as she ran her fingertips over the scars across his face and his dead eye. She was from a family of shinobi, she had seen worse. To Nana, it was just another sign that Baki had given so much for his village.
Baki's higher brain functions had shut down completely. He kneaded the soft firm flesh of Nana breasts beneath the fine fabrics of her kimono. He used his other hand to push her hair out of the way so he could attack her neck with his mouth.
Her gasps of pleasure were enough to encourage Baki to shift their positions. He half picked her up, half pushed her to the tabletop as he settled down to peal away her clothes.
Baki's aggressiveness was thrilling to the conservative Hyuuga woman. It stirred her blood. She reached for Baki's arousal and was pleased to find him ready and responsive to her touch. Even as he removed her clothes and kissed the exposed skin, she began to stroke him.
Baki groaned again and let his baser instincts take over. He pushed away the clothes separating them and positioned himself at her entrance. They exchanged one quick lustful look before he pushed into her warm wet center. Nana arched in surprise at the sudden pentration, but her body was throughly saturated in her desires for the Sand nin.
They found their rhythm in deep even strokes. The table shook beneath them and the teacups spilled. Nana's vision darkened suddenly as an intense orgasm shook her body. Baki grunted as he own pleasure overtook him. He panted as he lay over the half naked Hyuuga woman. As the drugging effect of lust wore off, Baki wondered if he would ever get to touch her again.
If this refined, passionate, incredible woman would regret this moment.
He risked a glance at her face. Anxious for what he might find.
She smiled at him.
"You still owe me a meal." Nana commented.
It took Baki a moment to remember the wager he had made with Shinji. "Yeah. Anything you want." He agreed easily.
"I want breakfast. Tomorrow." Nana requested. She wasn't sure what had driven her this far. Maybe it was stupidity brought on by jealousy but she wouldn't regret her actions. And it didn't look like Baki would either.
Baki smiled. "I think I can manage that." He replied. He carefully gathered the beautiful woman up in his arms and brought her to his bedroom.
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Hinata woke with a start. Gaara was moving off the bed. It must have been shortly before sunrise. She felt weak, but better then the night before.
"Good morning." She murmured to her fiancé.
"Good morning." Gaara replied without meeting her eyes.
Hinata frowned in concern. Gaara was unusually distant. "Is there something wrong?" Hinata asked.
Gaara sighed. He took the chair next her bed without meeting her pale gaze.
"I care for you Hinata." Gaara started. Hinata's heart fluttered, but she guessed that Gaara was not about to confess his love. He would at least look at her if that was his intent.
"I care for you Hinata. I'm glad you did well in yesterday's match. Your tactics and skills were impressive. The Suna council will accept you without question now." Gaara continued. He had lain awake all night. He knew that Kankuro could make Hinata happy. Kankuro was capable of loving Hinata and he could still give her the status she needed for her clan.
And she would be good for Kankuro. Hinata had a great capacity for love and she would love him. Gaara gut twisted in jealousy as he thought of giving Hinata up. But….he did want her to be happy.
"I care for you Hinata." Gaara repeated again. "But I don't believe I am capable of loving you." He admitted.
"What?" Hinata whispered. Hurt and pain filled her eyes as she thought, 'This can't be happening.'
"I'm not capable of love." Gaara explained.
They both sat in silence. Gaara not looking at her. Hinata not looking at him as her eyes filled with tears.
"Perhaps you should consider marriage to my brother Kankuro." Gaara said as he finally looked directly at her. His face was calm and impassive, as though suggesting what they should have for breakfast.
Hinata's face was a mixture of shock, sadness, confusion and anger. After a few heartbeats, anger won out.
"G-Gaara." Hinata began angrily. "You know what I want." She glared at him through her tears. "Now I want to know what do you want? What are you taking about?" She whispered her frustated question.
"Think about it Hinata. Kankuro can help your clan the same way I could. He could also love you in a way that I cannot." Gaara stood up and gave her once last look before he turned to leave. "Just think about it." He repeated. His head was pounding and anxiety filled his heart as he walked out.
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"An Idiot. My brother is an IDIOT." Temari ranted as she paced the same room.
After finding Hinata glassy-eyed and clearly upset, Temari had coaxed Gaara's suggestion out of the pale Hyuuga Heiress. She didn't cry or moan. But her quiet voice was heartbroken.
Temari was pissed. She fumed and ranted for a few minutes before she settled down to try and help Hinata.
"My brother is an idiot. You know that right?" Temari asked as she sat at the end of Hinata's bed.
"I-I d-don't know about that. I think…well….maybe." Hinata found her fingers poking each other as she stared down at her lap in shame. All those years of confidence based on success were temporarily overwhelmed in the face of Gaara's rejection. She was stuttering again too. "M-Maybe Gaara just doesn't want to m-marry m-me. M-Maybe the other things he said. M-Maybe he-he just said them to try and be nice to me."
Temari gawked at Hinata. She couldn't believe it. The both of them were idiots. Hinata didn't think Gaara wanted her and Gaara thought it would be safer for Hinata to be with Kankuro. She wanted to hit them both with her fan. Mostly she wanted to hit Gaara. He started all this with his stupid jealousy and insecurity. And his stupid guilt.
The Sand kunoichi took a deep breath and then another. She could do this. She could fix this. Just be calm and talk to Hinata.
Temari reach out to take the distracted girls hand. "Hinata, I need you to do me a favor."
That got Hinata's attention. She pulled herself out of her own morose thoughts and looked at Temari. Her blue eyes were bright and intense. "What it is Temari? I'll do what I can to help you."
Temari smiled. The perfect Hinata response. "Thank you Hinata. I'm going to ask you listen to me and then do something for me."
Hinata nodded, Temari had her full attention.
"My little brother, Gaara has hurt many people. You know that he was the host for Shukaku, the Sand demon. He was treated horribly by the village, our father, everyone. He was so totally alone for so many years that his spirit and mind was broken. It doesn't justify what he did, but it helped me forgive him." Temari stopped for a moment as Hinata's eyes widened. Temari wanted Hinata to understand just a little more about her brother.
"Gaara, he used to scare us all. He terrified us actually. We were together a lot, Kankuro, Gaara, and me. But Gaara was always treated differently. He was handled with respect and fear. They respected his power and his abilities. By the time he was eight, he had already killed dozens of assassins sent by out father. Everyone was afraid of him and later on, everyone hated him. Sometimes, even I felt that way."
Hinata looked shocked at this confession. She knew there were terrible things said and done in the name of gaining power for the Sunagakure. Hinata knew that Gaara had been at the center of it all. But Temari was putting faces and the emotions with the facts.
"Can you image Hinata? You have this terrible power that you can barely control and every one hates you or fears you because of it? And then the only way you can get people to acknowledge you or to even look at you is when you kill or hurt someone."
"It sounds horrible." Hinata whispered.
Temari nodded. "But you can see can't you? You can see how hard Gaara tries to not hurt the people he cares about?" Temari waited for Hinata to nod.
"He has been trying to learn to be human and to trust other people. First Kankuro, Baki and me. And over the last few years, a few more people." Temari explained. "But he still doesn't trust himself."
Hinata's face scrunched up in concentration. "But why would he want me to marry Kankuro-kun?"
"Because he's an idiot." Temari smiled this time when she said it. "He doesn't think he knows how to be a husband to you. And he's afraid he'll make a mistake and hurt you. So he wants you to be happy and he thinks Kankuro will be able to take care of you."
Hinata's face cleared as Temari's words sunk in.
"Gaara might think that you would be good for Kankuro too." Temari added as an afterthought.
Hinata's face darkened suddenly. "That-that's so wrong!" She clenched her fists in the hospital blanket. "What makes him think he knows what's best?" She said miserably. But she didn't sound as heartbroken as before. More angry.
"As I said, my brother is an idiot." Temari replied easily.
"Maybe." Hinata replied. She sounded a little less angry and a little more confident this time.
"Gaara is not really the 'marrying'-type." Temari explained. "More the "die-young-for your-village' type. So he really didn't think too much about marriage or kids or anything before you." Hinata blinked, motioned for Temari to continue. "So after you won the fight with Maaya, I think it finally dawned on him that it might really happen and he just got…well…stupid."
The blonde jonin looked at Hinata. The heiress seemed to be taking it pretty well overall. Now to give Hinata a push in the right direction. "Hinata, Gaara is far from perfect. But he deserves some happiness. He's worked so hard to protect this village and the people he cares for. But Gaara needs someone to who will really care about him and teach him to accept himself. That is the favor I want to ask of you."
Hinata was silent for a long time. Temari's blue eyes studied the young woman as she thought about all she had learned. Hinata's mouth opened twice to speak before she finally did.
"Temari, do you really trust me to do the right thing?" Hinata asked uncertainly.
Temari paused as she stopped to really look at the Hyuuga heiress sitting the hospital bed. Hinata had worked hard to defeat Maaya. She also showed compassion and kindness whenever she could. But could she be trusted with Gaara's heart?
Temari answered honestly. "I want to trust you. But it's hard to trust anyone with my brother's hearts. Kankuro is pretty tough. But Gaara…Gaara has suffered more then anyone should ever suffer."
Temari smiled wryly at the girl. "If you still want him after his pulled a stunt like this, then yeah, I trust you." Temari concluded.
Hinata was silent for a few more moments before she smiled brightly. "I –I still want him." She declared.
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Gaara stood in Hinata bedroom and wondered what he was doing there. Hinata had sent word that he should meet her at the embassy. She had checked herself out of the hospital and returned to the embassy in the afternoon. It was late evening now and she had sent for him. Gaara was surprised that she had already decided in less then a day.
Hinata was in her sleeping yakuta and clearly still recovering from her injuries. She gestured for Gaara to approach her bed.
"G-Gaara." She said as he approached and she held her hands out to him. He put down his sand gourd and sat on the edge of her bed. He allowed Hinata to hold his hands in hers.
It reminded him of when she had proposed to him in the Hokage's office.
Gaara looked at her face. She looked tired. She looked like she had been crying. 'It already starts,' Gaara thought. 'I cannot make her happy.' He's heart clenched in jealousy as he realized how much he wanted to be the one to make her happy. He just didn't know how.
"Gaara." Hinata started again. "I forgive you for hurting me. I have been crying a lot today."
Gaara had not been expecting that, but he simply nodded in acknowledgement.
"But Gaara," Hinata continued " I won't forgive you if you do it again." She added with steel in her voice.
"I don't understand." Gaara admitted as he looked at the resolve on her pale face and the hardness in her eyes.
"Gaara, I don't need you to love me forever. I never asked for that. I don't need a great romance or soft words. But I want you and I want you to choose me. I want you to choose to try to be happy." Hinata explained.
Hinata tried to explain further. "I don't need you to love me to make me happy, I need you be my partner in life."
Gaara's confusion was written plainly on his face. "Don't you want to be loved?" He asked.
Hinata squeezed his hands. "O-of course Gaara. I want you to marry me and to love me. But I don't need you to love me to make me happy. My happiness is my responsibility. Just as your happiness is your responsibility. Even in a marriage or a partnership, you still have to be able to take care of your self."
They were both silent for a few moments. "It seems unfair to you." Gaara finally said. 'Because I am not capable of love.' He thought silently.
"I can accept the risks Gaara. I can accept you as you are." She answered quietly. "But I need you to choose to be happy. To at least try." She insisted. "Will you promise that?" She asked finally getting to the critical question.
Gaara looked uncertain. He didn't really follow her logic. But he wanted to say yes.
"Gaara, I choose to make myself strong and change the Hyuuga clan and change my whole world. I know it is possible. You can help me. You just have to choose." Hinata stated.
Hinata released one of his hands and reach up to caress his face. Gaara was lulled by her movements and kissed her intimately before he could stop himself.
Hinata whispered to Gaara. "Stay with me."
Gaara closed his eyes, but he could still see her in his mind. Her kindness and her affection. His chance at something for himself. Gaara finally let go of his uncertainty and accepted her. He accepted her and everything she represented. The opportunity to be happy. The opportunity to love and be loved.
Gaara pulled back from their embrace and looked into Hinata eyes. "Yes. Thank you Hyuuga Hinata."
She smiled and pulled him into her bed and tugged at his clothes. In moments their bare skin was scorching each other. The intense lovemaking that followed was punctuated by quiet silences filled with loving and reassuring touches.
And Gaara let himself be happy.
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Author's notes:
Please review!
Well this chapter had less "traditional" jealousy then I orginally planned. But Gaara's concerns about his capacity to love was one of the central ideas I orginally had for this story. Feel free to tell me if you disagree or thought it was too OCC.
Two more chapters (well actually, one chapter, one epilogue, one OMAKE). whew, almost there.