A/N: Sorry I haven't really been updating lately, for awhile I was just taking a break and then I got caught up in updating some other stories. At any rate, I'll try and get a few updates out before school starts for me next Tuesday, and then I'll be back to just updating on weekends (though that doesn't mean I can't still work on it through the week of course!) Anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed the last few chapters, and here's the latest one.

Disclaimer: CardCaptor Sakura and all related characters belong to CLAMP, not me.

Secrets Can Be Deadly

EilayAdnayVolieay

Chapter Twenty-One: Syaoran's Story

Sakura sat still for a moment after Syaoran's words. Ever since his mother got sick? She felt a tight clenching feeling in the pit of her stomach as she thought of the kind though stern Yelan being sick. She looked perfectly healthy, but then again... sometimes even the sickest people did.

"...when did your mother get sick?" Sakura asked him, when Syaoran failed to continue. He still seemed angry after hearing the Elders had tried to hurt her, but he finally turned to face her.

"About two years ago, I guess. To be honest," Syaoran added, "None of the doctors that we've gone to see have any idea what's wrong with her. It started with the blinding headaches she got — we thought that it would pass. Until she passed out." Syaoran sighed and crossed his arms. "After that, the symptoms just kept coming and coming. There were so many things they thought her symptoms meant, but when they did testing, they found out it was all wrong. Then... things got worse."

"She'd pass out for days at a time. Just lie there, sleeping. The doctors... they wanted to keep her in the hospital. She wouldn't have it. I told her, you know, maybe it would be a good idea. Until they knew what was wrong with her. But she insisted she would hire a doctor to stay on here full-time, to monitor her and check up on her when necessary."

"That's horrible." Sakura said quietly, when Syaoran didn't continue talking. "How did the Elders start getting out of hand though?" Sakura asked him, remembering what he had said earlier. Syaoran shrugged.

"They took away a lot of her control — or at least, tried to. They tried to say that a woman, a widow, wasn't good enough to stay on and be in control of the Li-Clan, and that until I was of age, it would be in their control. And they fought about it, it was a never ending battle. They're still trying to get whatever control they can, because next year, I come of age, and..." Syaoran trailed off.

"Take over?" Sakura offered. Syaoran nodded.

"Basically. Although now, they're trying to say that I have to be married before I can take over as the Leader. They won't make that work, though. They were furious when I broke off the engagement to Meiling a long time ago, because that had been their plan, for me to be married. But... the Elders, this Clan... that's my problem to worry about. Let's just focus on the case, okay?" Syaoran said finally, seeing Sakura had opened her mouth to say something. She closed her mouth and nodded, seeing he didn't want to talk about it anymore. She couldn't really blame him.

"So," Syaoran said, trying to change the subject, "Let's take a more thorough look through the file we worked so hard to get." Syaoran opened the file folder and grabbed the documents from inside, spilling them all out onto the bed. Sakura saw a picture of her mother and picked it up gently, staring at it. Syaoran didn't know why, but he felt the urge to say something comforting, something that would make her feel better. When nothing came to him to say, he kept his mouth shut and just allowed her the time to think and brood about whatever it was that was on her mind.

Okay, Syaoran thought, grabbing a stapled booklet from the bed, this is the last report that Sakura's mother sent before she disappeared. Made comments of — wait a minute...

"Sakura!" Syaoran exclaimed suddenly, and Sakura tore her eyes from the photo of her mother and looked up at him startled. He handed her the booklet in his hands so she could read it.

"'It's March twenty-first,'" Sakura read aloud, "'Exactly two weeks ago, I received a sheet with a list of all the students that were next on the list of the mysterious kidnapper. At the very end of the list, I saw my own picture. I withheld this information, because I was concerned that someone would take me off the case. But now it's too late — a sheets been sent to everyone else as well, and now they all know. But there's more to it than that — I received a note to meet this mysterious kidnapper. I know it might be risky, I know that, but I have to go. It's my job. Instead of faxing this report as I normally would, I'm sending it by mail — so that by the time anyone gets it, I'll have already had the meeting.'" Sakura stopped reading. Would this happen to her as well? Would Hymatchii send her a note, requesting her to meet him? Even more importantly, would she go? Syaoran was staring at her piercingly, and Sakura knew exactly how her mother had felt.

She hadn't wanted to tell Sakura's father, because she had known he would stop her. He would let his feelings for her get in the way of a job that had to be done by someone, even if... in the end... it was a bad idea. The look Syaoran was giving her made her think he knew what she was thinking — that she'd get a note. And that she'd make the same decision as her mother — and he didn't like it anymore than she was sure that her father had.

Would she keep it from Syaoran if she got such a note? I'd have to, Sakura told herself. Look at him, he doesn't even want me to have time to think about the possibility. He doesn't want me to just give myself up. But what if it really is the only hope? Mom... she didn't have a partner. I do. But... maybe he isn't really concerned about me not being able to escape. Maybe he's worried that when it comes down to it, he ... he might not be able to bring me back.

"Sakura?" Syaoran said quietly, interrupting her thoughts. Her head shot up and she looked at him, saw that he was watching her with concern etched across his face. She forced a smile.

"I'm fine," She said. So much of moms case is just like mine now. Does that mean history wants to repeat itself? But... no. The mistake mom made wasn't that she wasn't a good enough spy or that she walked into a trap. The mistake she made was not trusting anyone enough to help her. I won't make that mistake she did, I won't!

"What are you thinking?" Syaoran asked her, dropping the photo he had been holding. Sakura put down the booklet on the bed and got up off of it, walking over to the window in Syaoran's room that overlooked the backyard. She leaned against the side frame and stared outside. She jumped as she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. "Sorry," Syaoran apologized sheepishly.

"I... was thinking about what the first part of mom's report said. Do you think that the same thing will happen to me? That Hymatchii will want to meet me?" Sakura asked him. Syaoran looked down at her, his gaze never leaving her face.

"I... I don't know, Sakura. What... what will you do if he does?" Syaoran asked her, his voice barely more than a whisper.

"I thought... maybe I wouldn't tell you, or my dad. But... that mistake made it so nobody knew my mom was gone until it was too late. I'd tell you. I'd like to think I'd tell my dad, too. I... I don't want this mission to be the last." Sakura added. She turned around and suddenly felt as if she was pressed against the wall, Syaoran was standing so close to her. "S-Syaoran, I can't..." She replied weakly, trying to get him to move. His face inched closer to hers, and then suddenly stopped, a few inches from her face.

"This won't be your last mission," He promised her, and he leaned in. Sakura realized he was going to kiss her, and before she could think of pushing him away, the door to his bedroom was thrown open. Syaoran quickly moved away from her, realizing what he had been about to do. Sakura just stood there, her heart pounding.

"I realize you're both on a mission, but it's getting late. You'll think much better if you get some rest," Yelan told them. "Sakura, I want you to be careful — the Elders are not happy. Though they rarely are," She added with a twinkle in her eye. Sakura nodded and quickly went to help Syaoran clear off his bed of all their mission files. The door closed, and Sakura felt Syaoran staring at her.

"Sakura," He replied, waiting for her to look at him. She refused to meet his gaze and continued gathering the files.

"Yeah?" She said after awhile, standing up and holding the file close to her.

"I'm sorry," He said. "I — I don't know what got over me. I wasn't — it's not that I —" He stopped and shook his head with a sigh.

"It's okay," Sakura replied quietly. "Your mothers right, it's late, let's... let's just go to bed, okay? I'll see you in the morning. I'll... leave this file here tonight." She set it down on his bedside table and quietly lead herself out of his room.

Syaoran walked to the door and opened it, and looked down the halls. He saw Sakura walking slowly to the room she was supposed to be staying in, and he watched her walking away until finally she was out of his sight, then he came back into his room and fell back onto his bed.

What had gotten into him just then? He didn't like her, he was sure of that. So why had he almost kissed her? As soon as this missions over, Syaoran thought, I have to ask Fujitaka to switch my partners. I'll... I'll explain to him that — Syaoran sighed and turned over, burying his head into his bed. Explain what, that I almost kissed his daughter? On a very important, no-nonsense mission? Not only would her father be angry, her brother would kill me in my sleep.

It's... it's not as if I think she's a horrible person, or anything. She's... not as bad as she tried to act when we first met. I guess... we both just really didn't want to work together. Now that we're more used to it, I think we both see the benefits of it. The fact that... in a situation just like this one, she needs someone else. And I... I might want to interfere if she were asked to meet Hymatchii, but... I'd know not to let my personal feelings get in the way.

Personal feelings... I guess maybe I do kind of like her after all. Syaoran turned and saw the file folder on his table where Sakura had left it. The last thing on his mind right now was to sleep — he doubted he'd be able to fall asleep with everything that was on his mind. And maybe without Sakura there, he wouldn't be as distracted.

—

When Sakura got to her room, she closed the door behind her and leaned against it, letting out the breath she had been holding. Everything was happening too fast for her — the realization that her mother had willingly walked into a trap. The fact that Sakura herself wanted to do the same thing. Not to mention everything with Eriol being a possible traitor to the Agency, and the fact that she found her mothers ring in the Headmaster's room. Mom...

How did the ring get in there? The last people to have it were her grandparents. Was the real reason they disapproved of her mother being a spy, and even her being one for that matter, because they had reason to be afraid they might be investigated? Could that possibly be why they had been so hostile towards her?

Even if they aren't involved, they have to explain to us why we found the ring at the Headmaster's office. There's no reason for them to have been there, and there's no reason for them to have known the Headmaster. And that Headmaster... he acts so concerned about the students. But he's not the one who owns the school — Hymatchii is. How can he not suspect him of being the one behind the kidnappings? After all, he sits on the sidelines, giving all the orders, without being the 'face' of the school — without anyone actually knowing he's in charge. How could that not be suspicious to him?

Tomorrow, Sakura decided, she and Syaoran would have to go and talk to her grandparents and make them talk to her — even if they didn't want to. And Syaoran... Sakura thought for a moment back to when he had almost kissed her, and she shook her head clear of all thoughts like that. There was no time for anything like that, not when they had a mission to finish. And not when they both had their own personal missions to accomplish.

Syaoran... it's all too confusing to understand right now, I don't even know why you would have tried to do something like that, I don't even know if I would have pushed you away or not. The only thing I know is that my grandparents might know more about this mission than they're letting on, or else they might be in danger — that's the only thing I want to do right now is get further in this mission. You'll have to... sort out whatevers on your mind yourself. I can't help you.

—

When the elderly woman returned home, she found that her husband was gone — probably in bed already, or out for a very late night walk. Either way, the house was completely filled with darkness, and she walked over and lit a few candles by her rocking chair. With that done, she sat in her chair and stared out the window, recalling the recent events.

Her granddaughter, Sakura, had come to visit. And it had been like that horrible day, all over again... Sakura had come with a young man, the future leader of the Li Clan, to tell both the elderly woman and her husband, that she had become a spy. It seemed like only yesterday, the young girls mother had come to say the very same thing.

"Nadesico, what a lovely surprise that you've come to visit us!" The woman exclaimed, hugging her daughter. "Your father is out at the moment, but he should be home soon. To what do we owe the pleasure of a visit from you?" Nadesico smiled and came into the house.

"I happened to be in the area for work and thought I'd stop in while I had a chance. I... I had some questions for you. But first, I have something to tell both you and dad. I think I should wait for him to get home, before I get into anything. Come on, why don't we make lunch?" Nadesico asked.

They had done just that, and waited for Nadesico's father to return home. When he did, there were greetings and hugs to be given out, until finally Nadesico couldn't put it off any longer. She sat her parents both down on the couch, and sat across from them on a chair.

"Mom, dad, remember how I told you that Fujitaka owned his own Agency?" Nadesico asked. Her father frowned — he didn't approve of her marriage to the man.

"Yes." Her mother said, upon realizing that allowing the older man to say anything probably wouldn't be a great idea at the moment.

"Well, I'm working for him at it. I... it's the Kinomoto Secret Agency — an Agency of Spies from all over the world. I've become one myself. I'm on a mission right now — that's why I'm here in Hong Kong." Nadesico smiled and waited for her parents response, but her smile immediately disappeared as she saw the expressions on her parents faces.

Both of them looked absolutely mortified at the news she had given them, and finally her father spoke for the first time since Nadesico had sat them down to talk.

"Are you insane? Don't you realize how dangerous that is!? You'll get killed! You're just a young woman, it's a dangerous world, you don't know how to protect yourself, and you're just a..."

"I can handle myself quite well, thank-you." Nadesico replied coolly, standing up. Her fathers face turned red.

"I... I didn't mean..."

"No, I think I know exactly what you meant." Nadesico told him. She stood up and turned to head for the door, just wanting to get out.

"Nadesico, wait! We're just concerned, worried, you have to see it from our point of view! You're our daughter, we deserve to be worried. And this is a foolish job, you shouldn't have ever accepted it." Her mother said. Nadesico stopped at the door, and turned around, tears spilling down her face.

"No!" She shouted. "I won't listen to this anymore! When I married Fujitaka, I had to listen to both of you when you told me he was taking advantage of me — you said he wasn't right for me. That I could do better, that I DESERVED better. You didn't care about me at all, if you did, you would have been happy that I was happy! Instead, you were looking out for yourselves, trying to make yourselves look better! And now, I've found the one job I actually enjoy, that I'm really, really good at, and you just don't get it! You never got it!" Nadesico closed her eyes tightly, trying to fight back the rest of the tears that threatened to spill over. Her father stepped forward.

"Nad," He said, "We love you, we do want you to be happy and your happiness means a —" He reached out for her, and she pulled away from him.

"Don't... don't touch me." She said. She pulled the ring off her finger that she had been given as an engagement gift from her parents — very reluctantly. She had dreamt for years of the day she would receive her grandmothers ring, of the day she would get married. And all it had brought her was trouble.

"Take it, I don't want it anymore." Nadesico replied, throwing it onto the floor. She turned around and ran out the door. "If you won't accept me as a spy, I know you won't answer my questions — I'll find the answers elsewhere!" She shouted, before she got into the car she had drove there, and drove off.

That had been a very sad day for the old woman. The day she felt she had truly lost her daughter. She had hoped for some means of reconciliation, until the news that her daughter had disappeared on a mission had come in.

And now... Sakura... she was a spy too. Just what exactly else was there she didn't know about her grandchildren? The time had come for her to talk to Fujitaka again — to force him to see reason by any means necessary. She refused to be kept out of the children's lives any longer. But could she manage to look away when it came to their spy duties?

A/N: Well, there's the latest chapter, and that bit at the end was kind of just for you to have an insight into what happened when Nadesico told her parents she became a spy and whatnot. And ohh, I finally have something sort of happening between Syaoran and Sakura. It's the 21st chapter and yet I still get the feeling it was rushed... ahh well, what's done is done. R&R! I love hearing your comments.