Chapter twenty one.
Wrapped inside a yellow blanket in his mothers arms was Leah's son, perfect. The small dark wisps of hair that surrounded his lively features were raven black and soft. Bella could not seem to stop crying. It was perfectly normal for people to get emotional but she had gone through twenty tissues in like five minutes, that wasn't normal. Paul knew that she was happy for Leah, they all were but he was starting to worry about her. It wasn't like she was pregnant or something, he knew for a fact that she was not pregnant.
After she moved in she made sure they were always stacked with 'protection'. A pregnancy scare and then having Sierra freak out about the idea of Bella being a mom and dying was enough to keep them both in check for this long, so he knew she wasn't pregnant. Maybe she was just overwhelmed or something.
Leah had only taken a glance at them since they walked through her door, she was so happy. Paul gave Embry a pat on the back, congratulated him and then moved over to give Leah a hug. Her eyes were glassy and she was practically glowing when she finally looked up at him.
"He's so perfect." Paul wasn't sure if she was talking to just him, or all of them or maybe she was just thinking out loud. He nodded his head though because he was definitely healthy and cute and very close to being perfect.
Names were being thrown around for months, and since Leah spent most of her time with Bella and now that Bella lived with him, he knew that this baby boy would be named after Harry. Henry was one of the names they were sure he was going to have and it suited the kid along with any other name they wanted to call him. Sierra was in the other room with Sue and Charlie, after she peaked in to make sure Leah and the baby were safe, alive and well, she went back to watching TV in Leah and Embry's living room, she liked babies but after she realized that they mostly slept when they were this little, she usually got bored quickly and wanted to be doing something else.
"Did you want to hold him?" Leah was watching him, still cradling her son in her arms and he wondered why she would ask him before she asked Bella but he understood. The memory of him handing Sierra to her was still fresh in his mind and probably hers as well. Paul nodded his head and carefully took the baby from her. He knew Bella was watching and she was still sniffling.
Looking down at the sleeping baby in his arms Paul was pretty sure he could do it again. He was also sure that Leah was going to make a kick ass mom and this little boy was going to have everything he needed and probably wanted in life. When Embry shifted somewhere beside him, he looked up and noticed the man was hovering. He gave Embry his son because he knew that he was probably just barely jumping out of his own skin with worry right now. Oh he knew Paul wouldn't drop him or hurt him but he was a new dad and he didn't blame the guy for being over protective, hell, he still felt that way about Sierra, these things were to be expected.
"Sorry but well..." Embry said as he looked down at his son, he looked back at Paul with the biggest grin he could fit on that face of his. Paul nodded and shrugged, he got it.
"Don't worry about it." At some point Bella snatched him(gently) and he could feel Leah getting anxious, she would shift on the bed and make a little noise. Since it was impossible to get Bella's attention Paul ended up stepping in and nudging his girlfriend to give Leah her son back. They shared a smile and Bella kissed the little bundle before passing him back to his mom who finally seemed to relax having him back in her arms.
When they were done visiting and Bella was back to being calm and rational they went home. Sierra was quiet and he wondered what was going through her little mind. After she turned six a few months ago he noticed she was starting to want more independence and it drove him insane. Its not like he didn't know she was growing up but when she stopped wanting to be called 'Puppy' in front of her friends and when she insisted she was old enough to brush her own teeth and read her own books, he started to feel it. The separation would happen, it was happening and over the years she'd need him less and less until one day she'd get by just fine on her own…
When he finally looked around himself he noticed Bella was looking worriedly between his daughter and him. He stopped thinking so much when he realized his daughter clearly needed him in this moment and Bella stepped out to give them some space.
"Hey pup you okay?" Sierra nodded her head slowly, sadly. She was definitely not okay. Paul sat down beside her and for the first time he didn't know what to do. When she was upset she cried and told him exactly what was going on and he didn't usually have to pry it out of her. Hesitantly he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side when she climbed into his lap and settled herself like she used to he breathed a sigh of relief.
"I miss my mom." He nodded and held onto his daughter a little tighter.
"I know you do baby." For the first time he felt calm talking about it. She wasn't crying and he wasn't feeling all torn up inside. "Its okay to miss her, you're always going to think about her and that's okay too. That's how we remember her." They were both quiet for a few moments before Sierra spoke again.
"Can Bella be my mom?" Paul wasn't sure what she wanted to hear or what he could possibly say to that.
"Do you want Bella to be your mom?" He asked, because honestly he knew this conversation would happen eventually but he had put off thinking about it for as long as he could. Sierra nodded.
"She's not my real mom but she does things my real mom used to do. She takes care of us." He nodded, feeling fairly confident that his daughter was smart enough to decide this for herself. He had no plans of leaving Bella or letting her leave…unless she really, really wanted to, so her place in their lives was pretty permanent.
"I think we should talk to Bella about this and you and her could come up with something you're both comfortable with okay?" He was pretty sure Bella would happily let her call her just about anything. Sierra nodded.
"If she's going to be my mom I think she should be your wife." Paul laughed and nodded. Again, he knew these talks would happen eventually and he'd probably be in shock later but right now he could deal with it. Or he could deal with it until Sierra put on the pressure.
"Well maybe we'll talk about that another time…like another year okay?" She smiled, her eyebrows raised and he probably walked into some trap but he couldn't quite bring himself to care because as long as his daughter was happy and somewhere in the house Bella was happy too(she would be after she stopped worrying about him and Sierra) he didn't have much else to worry about.
"Okay." She nodded and then he watched her eyebrows pull together and then her eyes widened and she smiled like she'd come to a conclusion, which he'd guessed after today she did. "Can we talk about babies too? I don't want a brother because Carrie always has to chase Kai around and Chad and Mason are mean to each other. A sister would be better." His own eyes widened and he tried not to choke on whatever was stuck in his throat. Well yes, he figured she'd come around with the idea but not so soon and he didn't think she's be so specific.
"Uhh…" He cleared his throat and nodded his head dumbly. "We'll talk about this stuff later okay? Not today though." He silently prayed that she'd at least wait because Bella was already emotional and this would probably have her weeping for days. "Promise me you'll wait until I give you the okay to talk about marriage and babies with Bella…please?" Sierra smiled showing all her teeth and nodded.
Sierra took off and appeared with Bella, she barely gave her enough time to sit down before she launched into her question.
"Can I call you mom?" When Bella's mouth fell open, Sierra giggled and Paul waited and watched. It honestly didn't bother him that Sierra wanted someone to call mom and that someone was Bella. As long as she was okay with it, he didn't mind and it would probably make things easier on them all in the long run. Bella finally pulled herself together enough and nodded at Sierra.
"If you want to call me…mom…yea I'd be okay with that. I mean if you're comfortable with that and if…" She looked over to Paul to check that he was okay with it. "I mean if you're both okay with that." Paul nodded, he was okay with it and when Bella smiled and she got all teary eyed he knew she was definitely okay with it.
"Daddy's okay with it and so am I. Now you can come to the mother-daughter tea party our class is having next week!" Sierra said excitedly, she must have realized how it sounded because she got serious again. "Its not just because of that though." Bella smiled and nodded before pulling Sierra in for a hug. Over the last year she had really grown and it showed when she was next to Bella, she looked so much bigger next to her.
"Its alright it sounds pretty important and of course I'll be there for you." That pretty much summed up everything for Paul. Anything important to Sierra was important to both him and Bella and he was positive he wasn't going to find anyone who loved and cared about both his daughter and him the way she did and of course they both loved and cared for her just as much.
Living with her the last several months was enough to make him really get it. They both hadn't experienced much else when it came to relationships. His own experience was enough to make him not want to throw himself out there to determine what's real and what's not, he had something solid and real and why the hell would he want to give that up?
Bella crawled into bed beside him that night and sighed, he waited knowing that she would want to talk about it.
"So you know you're pretty much stuck with me now. Stuck as in there's no way you're going to be able to get rid of me now right?" She smiled and scooted closer to him. Paul chuckled and nodded.
"Yea…" He ran a hand down her arm and smiled. "I don't think I mind being stuck with you." Bella propped herself up to kiss him on the chin. She smiled and then pulled herself up so she was laying on top of him. When she was comfortable she looked down at him.
"Are you really okay with it though Paul?" He wondered how she could not understand just how okay with her being a permanent part of him and his daughters life he really was.
"Yea I'm okay with it." More than okay with it, he was happy, he could always be this happy about things if he wanted with her there. Paul smiled up at her. "I think I'm more than okay with it. Maybe you could let me know when we could make this being stuck with each other a more formal thing." He wasn't about to stop now because he meant it, he wasn't going to let her go. When she raised her eyebrows and blinked he smiled even wider.
"It doesn't have to be now but when you're ready I want you to let me know." She smiled and nodded her head before scrunching up her nose.
"Did you just propose to propose?" He laughed and shrugged, that was pretty much what it was.
"I guess I did. And you just accepted this proposal." She laughed and nodded before moving herself up his body to kiss him. The movement alone was enough to drive him crazy and she was wearing his shirt and 'sleep shorts' he was pretty sure they were booty shorts and told her so every time she wore them, honestly though he didn't care at the moment. Not when she was straddling his stomach and his hands were moving up the backs of her thighs. She pulled back and moved to sit up, he raised an eyebrow at her.
"So are we engaged to be engaged then?" She asked through a smirk. Paul chuckled and pulled her back to kiss her again.
"I suppose we are." He was glad she could at least have a sense of humour about the whole thing and that she was actually thinking about it. It obviously wasn't going to be until everything around them settled down but he was going to ask and he wouldn't have to worry about freaking her out. Weird that it didn't freak him out but then again their relationship wasn't exactly conventional, those rules and expectations that regular people had, didn't apply. They weren't as careful as they usually were that night.
They were two guarded people and those walls were finally coming down, slowly but surely and he didn't worry or feel guilty about loving her, about always wanting to love her. They could live without each other if they wanted to but he knew he didn't want to. Their pasts didn't make a difference anymore, they existed but they weren't going to determine what happened next. It was the three of them, she was now a part of his family and if he was being honest with himself, she always was.
He wasn't going to promise her the world because he couldn't give her that and he didn't think she wanted it anyway. All he had to offer was himself. A slightly damaged, ex shape shifting, widower, a father, a man with too much baggage to keep track of. Yet...she still wanted him. Things would never be simple but they weren't supposed to be. Nothing would ever be perfect but that was okay because perfect didn't matter, perfect was boring and he knew first hand that perfect didn't last.
A/N: Soooo! I'm posting this as the last chapter because I have an epilogue started and I promise you it probably won't be what you're expecting. I had this ending in mind and no matter how much I hate myself for it, it works and I will do my best to get it up as soon as I can.
As always thank you for reading and reviewing and adding to your favorites and story alerts(honestly I appreciate it) :)