I'm not sure how I ended up back in my bathroom. I know I must have physically walked here, Natalie taking my elbow to guide me and shield me from the others but I felt like my head has been underwater and only now it was breaking the surface and able to see the world clearly again.

Natalie is rifling through the cupboard under my sink and I drag the last ten minutes from my memory. There had been the briefest of pauses when the words had left my mouth like dust off a closed book. Natalie's face didn't pinch in disgust or judge me in anyway. She seemed to just absorb what I had said and then pulled me to my feet. She told me to wait and then she left the kitchen to whisper orders and then came back to lead me up the stairs. They all must have been in the living room but no one spoke.

"I didn't even think about this. Well I did but I thought, well I didn't think I had to explain – God I'm dumb." Natalie says, pulling out a box and pulling up the lid.

I clench my legs tighter together. There was no way to move now. It had gotten worse with the walk up the stairs jostling everything around. The back of these pants were wet now too.

I push back against the hot press behind my eyes.

Natalie pulls out a white plastic looking slip. "Okay, right. Panties."

She disappears in whirl of gold into my bedroom and I hear her opening drawers. She comes back holding a bundle of fresh clothes. I can't even look at her.

"Okay." She repeats again and I get the feeling its encouragement to herself. She kneels down in front of my perch on the toilet so I have to look at her. She holds up that plastic strip. "This goes inside your underwear okay? It will soak up everything. Just change it every couple of hours or when you need too, okay? This bit comes off and you put it here."

I nod to show I've followed what she's said even if I don't understand. She turns on the shower and instructs me to change and then leaves. I undress with shaky hands and step into the hot water that may as well be ice cold.

I'd failed again. A reoccurring theme with me it seemed. I wash numbly and then step out of the water and do as Natalie says. It's weird at first and I wonder if this pad is really going to secure everything but I have no choice but to trust Natalie. I pull on the pj's she brought and I'm tying the elastic at my waist as she knocks on the door. I bundle my old clothes together as if hiding the red will mean it's not there.

Natalie slips back in to the bathroom. "There, that's better."

I nod but can't bring myself to speak. She grabs another towel and makes me sit back down on the toilet. She undoes my braid which was I realize is sopping wet and starts to dry my hair. When she's done she scoops up my dirty clothes and dumps them in the hamper. Either she doesn't notice my twitch, a compressed instinct to take it from her, or she ignores it. The bottom of her dress is sweeping along the moisture collected on the tiles.

My stomach tightens.

"Paracetamol" Natalie announces like she's going through a mental list. She ducks back into the cupboard. "My cramps are a bitch too, well they were until I started birth control and now I have no excuses for crazy cravings. Have you been having any of those? Now everyone judges me when I want a cheese puff and Reese's sandwich."

While she'd been talking she'd rinsed out the glass that holds my toothbrush and filled it with water. She holds it out and two little white tablets.

"What's wrong?" She frowns. When I don't respond she kneels down and more gold material meshes against the slick tiles. It was going to get ruined.

"I can't…I…Dimitri said I have to eat before."

Natalie's shoulders deflate and I feel her gaze weighing down on me. "You lied to me earlier." I take my eyes off the floor at the sound of the hurt in her voice. "Why did you lie to me?"

I knot my hands together. I'd spent the whole morning wanting to hide everything and now it seemed very important to expose it all because maybe that would take wounded look out of her eyes.

"I wanted it stop. It always stopped before and went away but it wasn't this time. Because I have…because I eat here."

Her eyebrows almost touch. "And you thought not eating would make it stop? Oh Rose no. This is natural and yeah it can bloody hell, no pun intended, oh my god I can't believe I said that, anyway. It means your healthy yano, natural. I get why you got that idea but that's not the right way to handle it. I should have thought more about this, I mean it's not like Dimitri purchased Always, I just … assumed." Natalie puts her hands over my fists. "We might be really different but I'm your friend. Rose, if you need help with things like this then tell me. It doesn't matter if I'm at school or here or it's the season finale of America's Next Top Model just tell me. 'Friends' that means if you have a problem I have a problem and between the two of us we're gonna come up with a solution. Okay?"

For once I let myself believe. "Okay."

She pats my hand. "Food, tablets, bed." She takes my hand and leads us out of the bathroom. She tucks me into bed and I can't help but wonder did she think I would sit in the bathroom all night if she didn't.

I almost drift off but the click of the door snaps me awake. My head was light and somehow heavy.

"They're all having kittens down there." Natalie says, managing to sound so laden with exasperation that it could knock her over. "I'm no you so I just grabbed what I could. They're gonna get takeout but I figured you wanted to sleep."

Sleep, you mean hide.

She puts her loot down on the bed, a packet of chips, a caramel yoghurt and a ragged cut sandwich with what looked like chicken and tomato inside the crust. I notice then the woollen thing tucked under her arm.

"Hot water bottle." She explains, lifting up the comforter and shoving it underneath. The heat surprises me but I like it. "It helps with the cramps."

I gingerly pick up the sandwich. "Who has kittens?"

"Huh? Oh. I meant they're freaking out. Just worried, I mean you did face plant the counter. How is your head by the way?"

"I've had worse." She shifts uncomfortably and I remember when I'd said the exact same thing to Dimitri. "I'm okay. It sounded worse than it was."

"Hard head." She grins but her hearts not in it.

"What did you tell them?" I mumble, picking off crust.

Now she looks apologetic. "I vaguely explained. 'Women's stuff', it's not a topic they like to wade into, not even the tough Guardians."

She sits down on the edge of the bed watching me expectantly. I bite into my sandwich. They all knew then or guessed. I never wanted to leave this bed especially now it was heating up. My stomach was appreciating that and the food. Maybe now it would relax.

"I'm sorry you're late to your party."

"Oh don't worry about it. They'll be fine without me. They've been doing this for a couple of years now. They know the partying ropes."

"I'm sure Dimitri could get you there on time." He could probably make the trees move if it meant a shorter route.

"It doesn't matter."

The sandwich pauses at my lips. "What do you mean?"

Natalie picks at the gold fabric of her skirt. "It's just one party, no one will miss me."

"Now you're lying to me." Natalie looks more surprised than I am but I carry on before my voice gets smothered by self-consciousness. "You've been looking forward to this. You've put so much work into it, you can't miss it Natalie."

"But-"

I lower the sandwich to my lap. "Please, don't let me be the reason you don't go. Lissa is there waiting and all those people." Natalie bites her lip, resisting even though everything I'm saying is true. I try to make my voice light even though I feel I'm made of shadow. "It's not fair on your dress either. It deserves to see more than the inside of this house." She runs a hand over her skirt. Her nails were a healthy, pink pearl colour until the tips, they were gold. She'd made so much effort and I knew she wanted to be there and not here. The way she'd chattered about people and how she imagined the night would go. There was also one person in particular who she always mentioned seeing. "Raff will be waiting won't he?"

She chews her lip. "Will you be okay on your own?"

I nod. "I'm only going to sleep." God knows how I was going to get up tomorrow and face them all. I wanted tomorrow to be years away.

"You remember what I said about changing?" I drop my gaze and nod again. I pick up my sandwich. "Finish that, take the tablets and that should help with cramps. I'll tell the guys not to bother you…and if you need anything, I mean anything, you call me got it?"

"I understand."

Her hand reaches across the blanket until it's resting on my thigh. "Do you?"

I look up and instead of pulling a shutter down, instead of telling her what she wants to hear like an obedient Dhampir should, I consider it all. I let my answer be weighed up by feeling and not just a hollow response. Could it really be that easy? Could I really accept exerting some dependence? It wouldn't be for that long and if it helped me learn…

"Yes. I'll call you if something happens."

"Or if you have questions."

"Or if I have questions."

She takes a deep breath and sits up straighter. Some glimmer returning to her eyes. "Well then, I better get to my ball."

Despite being inflated by her own infectious energy she refused to leave until I'd eaten the sandwich and swallowed the tablets. And even then she fusses with tucking the blankets in around me and sealing in the warmth.

"You'll eat the rest won't you?"

"Yes." I mumble, sleep coaxing my eyelids to close.

"I'll be back by five. Six at the latest."

Time was something that didn't matter anymore. I am neither here nor there or anywhere. I am just warm. The falling away into sleep is easier than it is has been in a while. My senses are utterly spineless, not straining to stay alert until the last possible second and all because a part of me had signed myself over into trusting someone else with me. I may have taken a step backwards but it felt so much easier, it felt like peace. I sink into dreaming.

Somewhere in the warmth and tranquillity I think or imagine something pressing against my forehead, light, tender and soft. It sends me to a place where the trees are tall and a little boy is running ahead of me and I have to chase him.

/

A part of me is awake but the rest of me is sleeping. I want the conscious part to slip away again, disappear into the smell of fresh cotton and the feel of a thick blanket, soft mattress and most importantly, how dry and stable things are. I want to but I can't.

A small sound, like a boot chaffing on the carpet.

The rest of me wakes, my limbs locking and the hair on my neck standing on end.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

I roll over and look up at Dimitri. "You're not very quiet." He raises an eyebrow and I try to wipe sleep from my eyes because it was currently hazing my vision. "Not like you were the night in the woods."

"I didn't realize leaving you water required the highest degree of stealth."

"It does."

"Ears like a cat."

I push myself up hoping the haze will clear with leverage. "What does that make you? The mouse?"

"I'm not quite sure what metaphor we're using now."

"What's a metaphor?" I was adjusting to the shadows so the planes of his face were becoming visible. In the back of my mind I knew a Guardian standing over me in the darkness, cloaked in shadows with an unreadable expression should be terrifying but it isn't. It isn't until I remember what sleep had made me forget. I sink back into the pillows. "Did Natalie go to her party?"

In a move that is either bold or rude he sits down on the very edge of the bed. I resist moving away. "A metaphor is figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to represent a symbolic meaning. And yes, Natalie left nearly two hours ago but left explicit instructions."

The metaphor explanation was digging some forgotten knowledge out of the pit of my mind. I needed to go over the 'M's in a dictionary. "Instructions?"

"To not disturb you unless you needed something."

"Not very obedient are you?"

"I was aiming to bed the rules not break them but I woke you up."

"With your stomping."

His teeth flash in the dark with a small chuckle. My heart clenches in such a way that I think about moving over again. I pluck the cover. "Thank you for the water."

"How's your head?" He returns.

I want to roll off the bed and under it. There was a hidden sentence in the question and it read along the lines of 'you lied to me, you lied to me, you lied to me'.

"Fine. Really okay, I only clipped the side."

"Only." He repeats in an unexpectedly hard voice.

I bite my bottom lip. "I'm sorry I lied to you."

"You didn't lie to me."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"That's your choice, don't be sorry."

I look up and wish I hadn't completely adjusted to the dimness so I couldn't see his face clearly. "The why are you upset?"

"My emotions are my responsibility, you aren't responsible for how I react to situations."

I consider this. "What way are you reacting?"

He looks across the room and back again. He takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling in a way that makes me want to put my hand to it. "I don't like seeing people suffering and being powerless. I didn't like that you were quite obviously hiding something that was hurting you and I couldn't help. I don't like seeing you hurt."

I might have swallowed my tongue. I have to roll it twice before it works again. "Natalie was angry with me."

"Because she cares."

I grip the mattress. "I'm not used to this. People being upset because I'm not whining or asking for help." Somewhere in the sentence my eyes had started to burn and my voice had started to thin. I clear my throat.

"There is no shame in asking for help."

"That's not how it feels." I press my lips together, the ruined clothes burning in my mind.

"There is no shame in asking for help." He emphasises. "There is nothing you could tell or ask of me that I will judge you for. Or the others, you have had a completely different life with different rules. An unfair one."

I'm shaking my head without realizing it. "I couldn't tell you that. How could I tell any of you that."

"Rose, it's natural-"

"Don't." I hold up a hand. I couldn't have him talk about it. "Don't"

He seems to deflate a little bit. How was he even balancing on the edge of bed, his butt was hardly on it…Guardian skills. We sit in silence for one minute and I wonder when he'll excuse himself. I didn't know if I wanted that or not, even though I should want it.

"They all know don't they?" I utter.

"Yes. Natalie had to tell us, Victor was very concerned. It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

My head snaps up. "Of course it is. How isn't it? Everyone knows, everyone knows that I can, that I have-" Suddenly there is a lot less air in the room and he is rubbing between my shoulder blades and making calming noises. A part of me wants to shove him off the bed. "I can't let it happen."

"Let what happen?"

I inhale and exhale three times over. "It started again and it means, it means I can have a child and I can't let that happen. I can't."

"That's not a risk. I told you. I promised." He whispers urgently.

I tilt my head back and try to focus on the small chandelier. "But it can and it might and I can't stop it and I can't turn into her."

"Who?"

I drop my pleas from the ceiling to his face. "I can't look at someone the way she looks at me."

His hand encloses around mine, the warmth enveloping the cool and becoming a cantered calmness to the trembling. He's no longer perched on the edge. "That is not going to happen. And you cannot punish your own body to compensate for improbable possibility."

"But it's not improbable."

His hands are on my cheeks and centring the earthquake in my head. "No one is going to hurt you like that. No one is going to take a choice like that from you and make you unwillingly become a mother."

His thumbs wipe away the wetness on my cheeks. I'm glad it's dark. I know he can see just as well as I can but all the same, I'm glad it's dark. It meant the rest of the world can't see.

"Don't punish yourself anymore. Not for old rules, not for anyone. You are your own priority now, not anybody else. Nobody else's happiness comes before your own."

I breathe that in. Could it be that easy now? Could it be that simple? Could it be that hard? Not worrying about what everyone else thinks or will do or will feel or react? Could it be as simple as knowing to help myself I could inconvenience someone else? Could it be as hard as putting my needs forward and hoping someone else will help me? Is this what my new life was going to be? I had to be dependent with some things to really be independent? Natalie had shown me how to deal with it, control it and now I would never have to ask again.

"Happiness." The word tasted funny on my tongue. It was a vague memory, happiness. I remembered it like seeing something through water, a boy showing me how to climb trees and run as quiet and as fast as wind, stealing a left over scone and splitting it with me, getting the bigger half.

"Yes." He whispers. "If anyone deserves it, it's you." His touch leaves my face and moves over my head, light and warm, coaxing my body to lie back against the pillows.

"You're safe here."

I'm starting to believe that and it's frightening. With the last ounce of consciousness I open my eyes but there's no one on the edge of the bed or in the room. Maybe there never was. Sleep drags me under.

#

"What do you thinks out there?"

"Out where?"

"There."

I follow his eyes over the blueberry bushes and to the tree tops where they touch the navy sky.

"More trees." I shrug and go back to drawing squiggles in the dirt.

"That's it? What about the metal carts they come here in? And people like them who wear nice things and eat nice things. Where does it all come from and who makes it all?"

My dirt crusted nail pauses mid wave. I knew where it all came from, knew the names of the places. 'Shops' and 'factories' although I had no images to go with the words but I couldn't tell him that.

"Where did our mom's come from?"

"They don't like that."

"Yeah I know but don't you wanna know? Janine sounds different sometimes and my mother talks in her sleep about things. I wanna know what's out there. I wanna know where…" He looks around and immediately I do the same. We were under our favourite Oak, on the very edge of the orchard where we could see everything but they could seldom see us. No, not seldom, a word like that makes him ask questions. They couldn't see us here unless they were close and the closest one was six trees away staring at the others working in the berry field. "I wanna know where they come from. They are like us but-"

"They're nothing like us Eddie."

"Yes they there! They're not like them, they serve them."

"They are not us Eddie. We're nothing."

His hazel eyes harden over like treesap. "I'm not nothing."

He was annoying me now. "Yes we are."

Eddie springs up. He glares down at me just as mighty as the Guardians can and for a moment I see that he is like them. He kicks his dirty foot through my drawing, the dust flying up into my face and when it clears he's gone.

He wasn't going to play with me now. Maybe never.

I pout down at my ruined picture and then try smoothing it out. The dirt had gotten under my nails and I was going to have to clean them soon or mommy would get mad. When the ground is new again I glance around before puncturing the ground with the tip of my finger and drag it down. Then a loop that connects to the line like the sun on the trees. One line taking off from the bottom of the curve like a bird soaring to the ground. Then a circle. A squiggle and then a 'C' with a face.

My heart beats faster as I look down at my new picture.

"Rose."

That was my word, I was a word. I didn't know what picture went with Rose, I'd never seen me. The only picture I have for my word is dirt. I am dirt. I am nothing. I drag my fingers through it and head back across the orchard to wash my hands.

Maybe Eddie would play with me tomorrow if I told him he wasn't nothing to me.

The navy sky spills down over the house and comes rushing toward me in a wave of velvet and stars.

/

I stretch out in bed, ready to roll over and back into dreams when the back of my hand collides with something solid. My eyes snap open and focus on the face cradled on the other pillow.

"Hi." Lissa says.

I blink to make sure I'm not still asleep. When she's still there I shimmy onto my side to face her. "Hi."

Lissa makes a small noise in her throat. "Is this okay? I didn't want to be on my own."

I nod against the pillow and it surprises me it's not a lie. Lissa was tucks a loose tendril of gold behind her ear and I notice her bare shoulders. Even in the dark her skin was almost pearly but it had more luster, a pink undertone, nothing like the strigoi in the forest. Against her pearl skin is emerald, rich green fitted to her chest in a flattering way. It accentuated her shape, her small chest and I couldn't help but feel a spark of envy as well as the nipping at my ribs. Below her bust the torso turns into sheer black panels, emerald lace spread over it like ivy. The comforter was tucked around her waist so I couldn't see the rest and that was disappointing.

"Is the party over?" Was Natalie home? Was Lissa staying here tonight and I was in her usual bed. It had been the guestroom. I hope she doesn't kick me out. I could move over and I wouldn't take up that much room.

"No." Lissa says quietly. "It's still going on. It's only three I think."

Was she tired and couldn't get peace there? That would make sense although something tells me sleep isn't the reason she's here.

"Are you okay?"

She looks up at me and her green eyes are naked. Lissa always said she was fine and smiled. Even when her demeanour shifted and she retreated from Natalie's wild chatter or looked a million miles away from the TV show we were watching. She'd catch me watching her and she'd smile and say she was fine. Now she looked like she had when she told me about the darkness that crept up on her. Maybe it's with her now.

"No." she says. "I don't even know why. I mean, all my friends are at that party, the rents were socializing with their age group in a different part of the house. Natalie's has done such a spectacular job with everything. Gold and red balloons, waiters in matching colours, mocktails, codes to tell the servers so they'd lace the drink with alcohol, mini foods we'd actually like, like mini-cheese burgers, not obnoxious stuff. Three foot high chocolate fountains in different flavours…."

The words were nice but her tone was empty. "Sounds nice."

"Yeah." She murmurs. "My boyfriend was there, my family, friends…and I just felt totally alone. That's so stupid right? And so selfish I'm here complaining to you about this, but I just felt like…" She pauses to take a deep breath and I know she's trying not to cry. I resist the urge to do something stupid, like rub her arm. "I felt like I had to pretend and I really didn't have the energy to. I had to pretend I cared that all the stuff they were talking about, people, gossip, homecoming, hook-ups…I just kept thinking why does this matter? There are bigger things going on….everything seemed vapid. And I love those guys but I just…none of it matter to me anymore and I couldn't pretend. So I had an argument with Aaron and I left my own house."

I clench the pillow as my curiosity gets the better of me. "What did you fight about?"

She sniffs. "He said he loved me and I didn't say it back. I just froze. I couldn't even be kind and say it automatically…I didn't say anything."

"Do you love him?"

"Yes. Just not the same way he loves me, or he thinks he does." She wipes her cheek. "I just couldn't pretend anymore." She sighs and looks at me again. "And then I came here because I feel like when I talk to you I really talk to you and you listen to me. This is so selfish I'm sorry, I woke you up when I know you've had a bad night…Natalie told me. I hope that's okay, she was worried."

I try not to get embarrassed. Thank god it's dark, I doubt she minds pretending she doesn't see my discomfort. "That's okay and I don't mind you waking me up. You needed someone to talk too."

"Not just that. I wanted to be here. I wanted you to be there. I missed you. I don't have to pretend with you."

My heart swells out to fill my chest and I'm smiling in the dark. "Because we're friends."

"Exactly." She smiles back but I knew her heart wasn't as full as mine felt.

I scrabble for the right thing to say. "I'm sorry you had a bad night."

"I'm sorry you have too. How do you feel?"

I think about it before saying what's on standby, 'I'm fine', exactly like Lissa did. "Sore but okay. It's better now. I think it's a good thing that Natalie found out."

She turns on her side, her dress rustling under the covers. "I bet. It's hard enough as it is and at least this way you get the three guys tripping over themselves to be nice to you. Three tough Guardians and the mention of a menstrual cycle and they become like little boys. Ridiculous."

If I hadn't dreamt it then Dimitri hadn't acted like a child. Actually he had made the whole situation seem normal, like discussing anything typical. If it hadn't been a dream but if it were real it didn't change the topic we were discussing and that leaves me cringing.

"I'm embarrassed."

"Because your tough and you wanted to handle it on your own. But you don't have anything to be embarrassed about it, I promise."

"Thanks. Are you…are you and Aaron going to be okay?"

"I don't think so…and yano I think I'm relieved and I feel really guilty about it." Oh god she sounded like she was going to cry again. I scoot closer to her not knowing how I was meant to help. Was listening enough? How did I hug her lying down? "Everything that mattered last year doesn't anymore and I'm not going to lie about it anymore."

"Lying's hard and everyone seems to get hurt that way."

"Yeah." She exhales. "Casualties all around."

We lie there for a few minutes, letting the dark be our audience and minder to our own thoughts. It was nice being able to be quiet with someone. It was nice knowing they were comfortable with it too.

Lissa sighs. "I'll fix it tomorrow." She tucks her hands under her head and her eyes focus on me instead of her troubles. "So do you want to go back to sleep or do you want to eat?"

I don't have to think about it. "I want to eat."

Lissa grins. "I always need chocolate. That sounds so stereotypical but I mean I eat a serious amount of chocolate. I eat it with chips, fries, nutella sandwiches, add it to cookies, popcorn." She wrinkles her nose. "I even put a Hershey in a burger once."

I laugh. "That actually sounds good."

"What do you want? Anything goes."

I was pretty sure I could eat anything sweet…and salty…and crunchy. "A burger sounds amazing." I'd never had one but if the adverts on TV made them look delicious.

Lissa sits up. "So let's go get some."

I frown. "We don't have any or anything to make them with."

Lissa grins. "So let's go get some." She rolls out of bed revealing the other half of her dress, a very short dress. It flared out from her hips like the black material was thick or layered underneath and the same emerald lace from the bodice lay over it. It stopped mid-thigh. "Coming?"

I stop staring at her legs. "Huh?"

She skips over to the door and suddenly the room is bright. How was she skipping in shoes that balanced on a stick at the heel? "I really want curly fries now."

I squint at her as my eyes adjust. "Where are we going to get curly fries?"

"I think the closest place is an In-and-Out."

I am seriously lost. She had very long legs. Lissa notices and looks down at herself. "Not exactly In-and-Out attire. Could I borrow some pjs?"

Lissa changes in the bathroom and I try to figure out what the hell her plan is. The worst part is I know it involves going downstairs. I was feeling very warm. The bathroom door swings open and Lissa puts her folded dress down by the dresser. She'd taken her hair down from its pins so it now sat in curls around her shoulders. She'd left her dark eye-makeup on.

"Do you want to put a jacket on? It's not really cold outside."

Outside? I shake my head.

"Alrighty."

Lissa's hands on the door handle when she notices I haven't moved. "What?"

I look down at my lap. "There all downstairs."

Lissa comes over and sits on my side of the bed. How could I go downstairs when my skin was just burning with the thought of it? "Who cares what they think? Rose, seriously. I'm pretty sure they were more worried than anything. No one's laughing at you or anything."

"I find it hard to believe Spiridon wouldn't find some way to make a joke."

"I'll make you a deal. Spiridon makes a joke and I'll kick him where it hurts." She holds out her hand. "Deal?"

I raise an eyebrow. "You wouldn't."

Lissa's hand lifts higher. "Wanna bet?" What if she did, wouldn't I get in trouble for that? Wouldn't she? "Nobody's going to say anything."

I take her hand and she shakes it once but doesn't let go. Instead her grip is something I can't get out of and she's leading me to the door. "Be brave in the name of burgers. You won't regret it."

I better not. When we reach the stairs I'm gripping her hand back as she leads the way. Ben and Dimitri are in the living room. Dimitri has a book in his lap and Ben's watching TV but looks up as we reach the foyer. I drop my gaze to the floor.

"We were wondering if someone could take us out for burgers?" Lissa says. "And snacks."

I expect a deafening silence or a flat out refusal.

"Yeah sure." Ben says, throwing the remote down. "Gives me a chance to get away from Dimitri's incessant chatter." Dimitri regards him over his book. Ben throws out a hand. "Just doesn't shut up."

I can't help but grin beside Lissa's laughter.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Dimitri says, snapping his book shut. "The hour can make things precarious."

"We only wanna go to In-and-Out and maybe the 24hr store." Lissa says.

"Shouldn't take more than an hour." Ben confers with Dimitri. "The clubs in the city will still be open. We'll be far from there."

"Are you sure?"

"Dude I got this. I'll just check it in with the boss." Ben says, winking as he walks past us and heading up the stairs.

I squeeze Lissa's hand. "Where are we going?"

"On an adventure." She grins.

Behind her Dimitri watches us steadily. "We're on the outskirts of Missoula. You'll be going to the fringes of the city."

I couldn't hold his gaze. Seeing him made it clear that I hadn't imagined earlier. I don't think my imagination could depict him so perfectly. Despite this my heart rate is picking up, fear and excitement bubbling in my stomach. We were leaving the house. We were going somewhere to get something I'd only seen on a TV screen. I was leaving the house.

Dimitri wasn't coming with us.

"All good." Ben announces coming back down the stairs. He twirls keys around his fingers as he strides toward the door, Lissa following him with me in tow. He punches in the code and throws open the door. I look back at Dimitri as the world open up in front of me through the doorway.

"Be safe." He says quietly as Lissa's leads me out into the night.

/

Hi guys! Sorry it's been so long, I've been working, volunteering, celebrating and visiting family Thank you guys for being so patient and even for your concern as my silence! Everything all good guys A new chapter won't be far away! And if you have any questions you can message me on tumblr or twitter. I know this chapter sin't as long as usual but i wanted to give you guys something.

Also the dresses I've described for Lissa and Natalie I want to try and hyperlink somewhere! They are so prettttty ^^ Anyone know how I do that?