After Jax left for the garage following their usual morning routine, Vanessa decided it would be a good day to go to another one of her self-defense classes. She was still a little restless from what had happened with Tristen just a few days before. She also felt like there was a possibility that Kohn was around again. She didn't really know why, but she had a feeling in her gut that something was bound to go wrong soon. And if living alone and in fear for the past several months had taught her anything, it was to always trust her gut.
She thought that learning real self-defense moves at Lumpy's gym would help to ease her mind, even if just a little bit. They didn't.
Vanessa was just getting out of the shower and dressed after a long and slightly harrowing self-defense class when she heard the front door shut. It startled her, causing her to reach over to the weapon that she still kept in her purse as per Jax's orders. The fact that the gun allowed for a feeling of control and security helped too. She didn't think it was Jax home this early. Frankly, she had no idea who it could be, and the uneasiness took over her.
"Jax?" She called out, but didn't get a response. She silently tip-toed out of the room, the gun in her hand and pointed, ready to take down whoever it needed to, as she saw Gemma walking towards her. "Jesus Christ." She huffed out. "You scared the shit out of me, Gemma."
"You alright, sweetheart? I know we don't exactly see eye to eye all the time but pulling a gun on me… that's a whole new level."
"I'm fine." Vanessa noticed the redness in Gemma's eyes and the sad look on her face. She also noticed a chance to change the subject away from her. "You look like you've been crying."
"I wasn't." Gemma bit back, nastily. Almost like a caged animal. Vanessa's eyes went wide at the tone that Gemma spoke to her in. Gemma cleared her throat and spoke a little softer. "Jax wanted me to tell you he has a lot of shit going on with the club today, so you probably won't see him until later. "
"And you drove over here to tell me that?" She asked suspiciously, walking back to the bedroom and throwing the gun on the bed next to her purse.
"Yeah, and I wanted to see how the nursery is coming along." She walked into the almost completed room. "Clearly, you guys are getting pretty serious. You've been seeing his son on the daily, helping decorate the nursery. You're living in his house."
"You already know how serious we are, Gem." She sighed. "Is there supposed to be a question you're asking me or something?"
"I know, I'm just trying to see where your head is really at. As much as I tried to stop it and I wish that he didn't, he's loved you from the moment he got to know you. Just want to make sure you're feeling the same as him." She sighed. "Plus, Jax is still being a little distant lately. From both me and Clay. You know anything about that?"
"Not really." Vanessa could tell that Gemma was trying to fish for any answers. "I think he's just in a difficult place right now. Trying to manage being a new father and a Son. I don't think he's ready for this just yet. He has no idea what he's in for."
"On that we agree. His father was clueless too. They figure it out." She nodded. "Plus, that's what he's got you for, right?"
"Yeah." Vanessa gave a small smile and nodded. "I think he's working through his fear of being a dad and that's making him seem a little more distant. Knowing that there is a tiny little human who relies on you for everything, I can only imagine how stressful it is."
"I know it's wearing on him." Gemma nodded in agreement. "The tension between you and me doesn't help him out either. I think there are times when Jax feels like he has to choose between us."
"I never asked him to choose, I wouldn't do that."
"I know that, but he doesn't. He thinks he has to split his time at the clubhouse and with you. I just don't want there to be a permanent rift between him and the club, or him, Clay, and me."
"I don't want that either. I know that you look at me and you still see the eighteen year old girl who broke your sons heart. And I know that you probably still think I'm the enemy or something because of who my family, but I'm not, Gemma. We both want the same thing."
"And what is it that you think we both want?"
"Jax and Abel to be safe and happy." Vanessa remarked causing Gemma to look her up and down for a second, before admitting it with a quick nod.
"Look, TM has been pretty backed up with paperwork and shit lately. I could really use your help in the office today."
"Yeah, okay. I have to go to St. Thomas, I'm applying for a nursing position there, and I wanted to see Abel."
"You'll come by the garage once you're done there?"
"'Course. It may be a few hours though."
"Okay, sweetheart." Gemma kissed her cheek. Vanessa could tell that this was slightly awkward for both of them. "That legal?" She asked pointing to the gun on the bed, but Vanessa didn't answer. "I don't know why you're carryin' but make sure to be safe. No serial numbers."
"I've got it covered, thanks."
Vanessa reached the nurses station at the hospital, waiting patiently for the nurse to get off the phone. She looked around the hallway before hearing the mousy voice of the nurse behind the desk.
"Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I'm looking for Dr. Tara Knowles." The nurse nodded and paged her to the nurse's station as Vanessa waited patiently in a nearby seating section. "Tara." Vanessa smiled as she got up and walked over to her, giving her a small hug.
"Hey, Vanessa. What can I do for you?"
"I was wondering if you knew of any open nursing positions here."
"You're staying in Charming? I'm sure David will be happy to hear it. He missed you."
"Yeah, I'm really considering it. It feels good to be home again. It feels good to be with some family again."
"And to be with Jax again?" She smirked at her while Vanessa just rolled her eyes.
"I'm sure it was the same for you when you came back to David after med school."
"It was." Tara smiled softly. "I can talk to the chief administrator and put in a recommendation for you. Do you have a resume?" Vanessa nodded and handed it to her. "Great, I'll get this to Margaret. I'll put in a good word."
"Thank you, it means a lot, Tara."
"Of course. Anything for my future sister-in-law." Tara smiled and gave Vanessa a hug again before turning to leave her. But before she walked further she called out to Vanessa once more. "Hey, just remember to be careful around them." Vanessa instantly knew that she was talking about the Sons. "I would hate to see anything happen to you, too."
"I'll be fine, Tara." She bit her lip, wanting to defend Jax and the club but she knew that Tara was just concerned for her, especially after what happened to Donna. She just wished that Tara knew when to keep her mouth shut. "I always am."
Vanessa walked away from the doctor and down the hall, heading over to Abel's room. She stared through the window, seeing a man standing over the baby's small chamber and holding him in his arms. Her guard instantly went up, but when she saw the man who was holding Abel, she felt an overwhelming need to protect the innocent child that she loved so much. The fire in her veins flowed through her as she swung the door open and moved towards the baby.
"What the hell are you doing in here?" She snapped, hearing Abel crying in the man's arms. "Don't touch him. Give him to me now!" She seethed, pulling Abel gently out of his arms and holding him protectively against her chest as the small baby cooed and sniffled, trying to fight back more tears. Her teeth bared as she was ready to protect Jax's son with her life. "You need to leave now, this room is for family and medical personnel only."
"And you're family now?" Joshua inquired with a bitter tone.
"You need to leave before I call Jax."
"He's got his hands full with Clay being picked up by ATF and the raid that's about to happen on his club. Be at SAMCRO later this afternoon if you want to see his future." He pointed to Abel who was still in her arms. "And yours too, maybe." He whispered as he left the room. Vanessa looked at Abel, checking to make sure he was okay and kissed his head. She gently rubbed his back trying to calm him down.
"You're okay, buddy." She whispered as she bounced him, he finally stopped crying and began to yawn in exhaustion. "You're okay."
Vanessa put him back in the chamber as she tried to call Jax, but he didn't answer. Her worry got the best of her as she rushed over to Jax's truck and raced to the lot.
She pulled into the clubhouse quickly, tires squealing as she parked and jumped out of the truck. At first glance, she didn't see even a hint of where Jax could be, instead she saw the garage door closed and no one on the lot except for a plumber and a row of motorcycles. Her heart beat fast as she ran into the empty office, looking for Gemma. She heard yelling in the garage and headed into there slowly, her guard up.
"Jax!" She called out when she saw him. He could see the look of fear on her face as he walked over to her, trying to keep the guns out of her sight, but it didn't work when she saw all of the guys placing the large weapons into garbage bags. Her eyes widened but she looked right at Jax again. "I need to talk to you. Like now." She declared as she dragged him into the office.
"What's going on, babe?"
"Kohn."
"He hurt you?" Jax's nostrils flared, his voice tense.
"He was there, when I went to visit Abel. He told me that Clay got picked up by ATF and that there's gonna be a raid on the clubhouse in a few hours. But I'm assuming you already know that." She shook her head as she pointed to the door to the garage. "Jesus Christ, Jax, what the fuck is going on?"
"It's just club shit, babe. You don't have to worry about it."
"Jax, you have barrels full of guns in there!" She whisper-yelled. "With ATF planning to raid this place any minute, I think I have every right to worry."
"Listen, if ATF is gonna be raiding soon, I need you off the lot aight? My mom is in the clubhouse, you take her and go get lunch or something. Stay out for a few hours. I have all of this shit handled. Everything will be cleared up by the time you get back. Okay?"
"Jax… I can help. Tell me how I can help."
"You not being here when this shit goes down will help, alright?" He took money out of his wallet and handed it to her as she shook her head again. "I'll figure this shit out and the shit with Kohn. Now, please, get out of here." He kissed her and watched her walk over to the clubhouse to get Gemma.
"Gemma." She called out, seeing Gemma sitting on the barstool with a drink in her hand. "You okay?"
"I'm fine, sweetheart. What's up?"
"Jax wants us off the lot, apparently there's gonna be an ATF raid and he wants us to steer clear of it. Told me to take you out for lunch."
"So much for catching up on that paperwork, huh?" She joked, chugging the rest of her drink and reaching for her keys. Vanessa could smell the tequila on her as she looked at the clock on the wall, wondering why she was drinking so heavily at 1:30 in the afternoon.
"I'll drive, Gem." She just nodded and stumbled over to Jax's truck.
They went to Hanna's and ate lunch in a mostly awkward silence. Vanessa could see how out of it Gemma was, whether it was from the midday drinking or the cause of the midday drinking, she wasn't completely sure.
"You wanna talk, Gemma?" She pulled her out of her thoughts.
"Clay's an asshole." She sighed but didn't elaborate any further. Instead, she just went back to eating. "Let's get out of here. I have to go to the pharmacy, pick up a prescription."
Vanessa drove to the local pharmacy and waited in the truck for Gemma to get out. She finally saw her walking out and throw her prescription and purse into the passenger seat of the truck.
"You ready?" Vanessa asked. "Where do you wanna go, now? We probably got some more time to kill before we should head back to the lot."
"Skinny ass bitch." Gemma muttered under her breath, just loud enough for Vanessa to hear.
"What?" She asked, confused. Gemma didn't answer her, instead Vanessa saw her as she picked up the skateboard that was on the ground next to her. Quickly, Gemma slammed it into a young girl's face and all she heard was screaming after that. Vanessa jumped out of the truck and to the younger girl's side.
"Oh, my God! My nose!" The girl yelled, holding her nose that was currently gushing blood. "Who are you? Why'd you do that to me?" She yelled and cried.
"Jesus Christ, Gemma! What the fuck?" Vanessa yelled at her, as a bunch of people started rushing over to the girl. "We need to get out of here. You're gonna get charged with assault!" She tried to convince Gemma to get in the truck, but all she did was sit on the curb tiredly. "Gemma…"
"You get out of here, sweetheart. I'll wait for the police."
"You're probably gonna need me to bail you out." She sighed, as she sat down next to her. "What was that? A skateboard to the face is no joke." Gemma didn't answer as she heard the police officer pull up and put her in handcuffs after hearing the testimony of a few witnesses. "I'll get you out, Gemma."
"Just go back to the clubhouse, Vanessa." She said as she was pushed into the backseat of the police car. Instead of listening, Vanessa followed the officer to Charming Station House and got out and followed the officer and Gemma inside. Her mind racing with the few times that she had to bail out Jax when they were younger, or even worse the times when she had to be bailed out with him.
"What the hell did you do?" She heard Clay scream out and saw Gemma turn around violently, her body tensing in anger and her jaw clenched in true Teller fashion.
"Same thing you did. Nailed some little tart from Nevada."
"Like I don't have enough shit oozing out of my ears. You gotta go and do this." Clay bellowed loudly. His rough, booming voice was enough to make Vanessa want to jump back in fear.
"You should've thought of that before your dick went on a cheerleader hunt." Gemma retorted loud and infuriated, and suddenly Vanessa knew what was wrong with Gemma. Why she seemed so distant and upset. Her husband cheated on her.
"Hey! I didn't tell her to come here."
"But she's here!"
"Well, that's not my fault!"
"And it's not my pussy." Gemma yelled again, causing everyone to break out into gasps and whispered "ooos". Vanessa's eyes widened and Gemma turned to look at her. "Go home, baby. I'm not gonna be getting bailed out tonight."
"Why the fuck am I the only sane person around here?" Vanessa muttered to herself as she walked out of the police station, running her hands through her hair.
She didn't know what to do next, seeing no other choice but rushing to the clubhouse to tell Jax what had just happened. As she jumped out of the truck, she saw the plumber leaving and Jax sitting on the picnic table.
"Why the hell are you here, I told you to stay away for a few hours?"
"I-I'm sorry. Your mom just got picked up for assault."
"Jesus Christ, what the fuck happened?"
"She hit some bitch in the face with a skateboard then got into it with Clay at the station. He cheated on her, Jax?"
"Holy shit." He jumped up, running his hands over his face in defeat. Without thinking, he turned quickly towards her and yelled in an almost threatening tone. "And you couldn't bail her the fuck out?"
"Don't yell at me like that!" She spat back at him defensively. Instantly, she saw his face fall and the apologetic look form in his eyes. "I did what I could!"
"I'm sorry, babe. There's just a lot of shit going on right now."
"She wouldn't let me bail her out. She just told me to go home. I didn't know what else to do." Her voice was drowned out by the loud sirens pulling on to the lot.
"Federal agents!" One of them screamed as he jumped out of the car, armed to the teeth. Her heart dropped, not knowing what was about to happen. All she heard was screaming, sirens, and the squealing of tires. "Get on the ground! Face on the pavement. Spread your legs." One said as he threw her roughly to the ground. She groaned in pain as her chest collided with the ground.
"Hey! Don't fuckin' touch her like that!" She heard Jax scream and try to fight his way up before getting kicked back to the ground. He took a deep breath but looked over at her and reached his hand out to her. "You okay, Vanessa?"
She just nodded and kept trying to take deep breaths, her eyes watering from the force that her stomach hit the ground with. And maybe from the fear that Jax would be getting arrested today too. His eyes didn't leave her face as she tried to control her breathing and the tears that pooled in her eyes. She finally registered that he was staring at her, but he didn't look worried. He saw the worry in her eyes though.
Jax nodded to her before all the guys started laughing and joking as the agents walked past. She had a feeling that the guns that she saw earlier were no longer on the lot and couldn't help the small smile that came over her face.
When ATF was done searching the clubhouse and the garage, Jax helped her off the ground, rubbing the dirt from her clothes and kissed her gently.
"You good?" He asked and she nodded. "You good with all this?"
"Maybe I'm crazy, but yeah, surprisingly I'm good with all of this."
Both Jax and Vanessa went home together later that night. She could feel the stress of the entire day wearing her thin as she yawned, happy to finally be getting into bed and wrapped in the safety of Jax's arms.
"So, Kohn was here?" Jax whispered to her, rubbing his hand up and down her back comfortingly. With all that happened today, she had nearly forgotten that he had made an appearance in her hectic life once again.
"At the hospital." She nodded. "He pretty much told me that he knew all this shit was going down."
"Jesus Christ, I think we should talk to your brother. See if he can get any info on him because clearly he ain't here for the club."
"He's here for me." She said sadly. "I'm sorry that you and the club are getting shit on because of me."
"It's not because of you, babe. You saw the shit that we were involved in today. All those guns, that's why ATF is up our asses, not you."
"That's what you want out of? Guns?"
"It's getting too risky and too dangerous. I got a kid and an old lady to think about now." He smiled at her before kissing her. "You read the manuscript. My old man saw all this shit coming. The violence, the blood, the greed. We need to move out of the gun business. It's gonna be a hard transition but getting into legitimate businesses is the best choice for all of us."
"So, you guys deal guns? Is that it?"
"You don't need to worry about that, Vanessa."
"I want you to tell me the truth."
"I do tell you the truth, babe."
"Not just what you think I can handle. If you want me to stay, I need all of it. I want you to be able to trust me."
"We run guns throughout Northern Cali, that's it." She nodded and mumbled a 'thank you' at his answer before kissing him and turning around in the bed to face the other way. He pulled her close to him as he wrapped an arm around her and nuzzled his face into her neck. It was quiet for a few minutes before she spoke again.
"Jax, you know it would kill me if you were sleeping with other women, right?"
"What?" He asked confused, causing her to face him again. "Is this about the shit with my mom and Clay?
"I-I guess. I don't know." She mumbled. "I always thought Clay loved her so much. It's hard to picture him ever cheating on her, but he did." Vanessa sighed and put her forehead on his chest, squeezing her eyes shut as she feared the answer of her next question. "Did you cheat on me at all when we were kids?"
"No. Never even thought about it."
"Do you think about it now?" She asked sheepishly, looking back at him, her lip between her teeth in an effort to calm herself down.
"Never."
"Good… because I love you, but cheating is a deal breaker for me. If you want to be with me, I only want you to be with me." He nodded and caressed her face gently, but she pulled away. "Even on a run and stuff, Jax. That bullshit, misogynistic rule of 'what happens on a run stays on a run'… I don't want that to apply to you. Ever."
"Babe, there hasn't been anyone else since you came back here. A few minutes of getting my dick wet by some chick whose name I won't even remember the next day ain't worth it. There's no better pussy than your pussy."
"How romantic." She rolled her eyes at him, turning back around, but still hearing him say it relieved her. She let him wrap his arms around her tightly again, nuzzling his face into her hair.
"You are the only one I ever want to be with, Vanessa."
A/N: Sorry I didn't post on Tuesday and that this chapter is a little late. I've been trying to write more and edit more lately. At this point, this fic is looking to be upwards of 70 chapters, so I hope you all are willing to stay for the long haul. Thank you all for reading, favoriting, and following. But mostly, thank you to the amazing people who review and leave kind words. I really appreciate the nice words, but I also love when you guys leave some constructive criticism so I know what works and what doesn't. So special shout out to Foreverkee, RebornRose1992, hateme101, and abb9109 for leaving reviews. You guys really motivate me to continue writing. As for everyone else, don't forget to tell me what you think!