AN: Wow! I had no idea that so many people would respond to last chapter. I was really blown away and I loved all the reviews. Thank you so much. Okay so here's the next chapter. I wanted you to see what Haley was picturing when she thought about the two paths she could take. So you'll get to see what she thinks her future would be like with both of them. I know that most of you don't want to hear this but a part of her does love Jeremy. They've been around each other for two years when's she's really had no one else. She does care about him...I mean it's Haley, how could she not?

Also, there's a scene where she just lets go and speaks her mind. It's funny because I had planned on this happening in my mind. I knew that Jeremy was going to feel threatened by Nathan and I knew he would want to do everything to keep her.I just pictured it exactly as it is written. When Haley just lets everything go…as I was writing it. I can't explain it but I could feel everything that she was feeling. I could picture her standing there pouring her heart out and rambling and just saying things no matter what order they came out in. I'm such a loser…lol.

I don't think this chapter will turn out like most of you predicted…well, just read it already, and let me know what you think.

Chapter Twenty-One –You Can't Always Get What You Want

July 26, 2011

Her head was spinning as she felt Jeremy pulling her out of Tric. All eyes were on them and when they finally made it out of the building she felt a wave of relief wash over her. But still his hand held hers firmly until they made it to the bottom of the steps. He let it go before turning to look at her.

"I wasn't even thinking," Jeremy mumbled nervously. "I shouldn't have done that in front of everyone…so here we are." He smiled softly at her before reaching for her hand again and holding it in his. "I meant what I said though. Will you marry?"

And then he said it again for the third time. He held the diamond ring in his other hand for her to see. She felt a sharp pain in her heart and for a second she thought she might pass out.

"I um…"

"Haley," Jeremy said softly. "I know this is a big step."

"Yeah…big," Haley said quickly as she finally released the breath that she had been holding.

"Why don't you think about this?" Jeremy said smiling as he pulled her hand up and kissed it softly. She felt hot tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Jeremy…"

"Just think about it, okay?" Jeremy repeated. "You take all the time you need. I'll just go back to your father's house and wait for you." He pulled her into a tight hug and held her close for minutes. "I love you, Haley."

"I love you, too," Haley whispered. He finally let her go and pulled away from her. He gave her his dazzling smile before he turned and made his way into the parking lot of cars. He turned around still smiling as he waved to her.

"I'll make you happy," Jeremy shouted towards her. "We would be happy." With that he got into her car and drove off. She couldn't move from the spot that she was standing in. Once she couldn't see the lights from the car anymore she lost it. Tears were falling down and her heart was aching. She truly believed him when he said that they would be happy. In that instant their life together flashed before her eyes again.

The sun was rising fast. The cool water kept softly crashing onto her. The waves were low but still enough to get her wet. Her hands held the surfboard on each side as her feet moved back and forth in the water. She smiled before looking to her side. And then there he was smiling back.

"Today's going to be a good day. I can feel it," Jeremy told her.

She laughed out. "You said that yesterday."

"That's how I feel when I'm with you," Jeremy replied as he winked at her.

"You're good," Haley said smiling at him as his words filled her heart with warmth.

"You know I love you," Jeremy said smiling. "I always have. Since that first day on this very beach, Haley. I knew you were it for me. Why do you think I put so much time and effort into making you realize how much you loved me?"

"So that's what you were doing?" Haley joked. "And here I thought you were just annoying me for that first year and a half."

"Hey, persistence pays off," Jeremy said smugly. "Look at you now…married to me, Mrs. Matthews."

"I never thought I would see the day," Haley continued to joke as he held his hand over his heart faking hurt. "And yet here we are."

"Oh…you love me," Jeremy mumbled rolling his eyes. "Why do you think you moved here for me?"

"For the sandy beaches of course," Haley said nonchalantly.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Jeremy asked amused as he pointed to himself.

"Oh, right," Haley said with a giggle. "How could I forget the waves? California has the best waves."

"You're going to pay for that," Jeremy said laughing as he pushed himself off of his board. He swam towards her before pulling her completely into the water with him. It was seconds later when she resurfaced and gasped for air. He looked at her innocently.

"I told you," Jeremy said smiling.

"You're just mean," Haley said with a pout as she splashed water in his face. She laughed but it quickly died down once a big wave crashed on them spending them flying back in the direction of the shore. He reached for her hand and held it tight as the waves kept pushing them back. "See what you did?"

"I know…we lost the wave," Jeremy said pouting as they stood up.

"I'm going to get Brooke to kick your ass," Haley quickly told him as she marched towards the shore.

"In that case, I'm staying in the water," Jeremy shouted as he watched her go. "I love you."

"Yeah –yeah," Haley replied with a smile as she waved him off. It wasn't long before she finally made it to Brooke. She watched as Brooke took off her sunglasses before sitting up and smiling at her.

"How long does it take to 'ride a wave'?" Brooke questioned. "I feel like I've been here for hours."

"And this is what I get when you come and visit me," Haley said laughing. "And here I was thinking that you loved me."

"That's what you get for thinking," Brooke replied smugly. "Plus, I had to spend time with you before you go off on the next world tour. I'll tell you girly…you like to travel a lot. I'm very happy with staying at home or up in New York for work but you…is there a place you two haven't been?"

"I told you I wanted to see the world," Haley told her.

"And you have," Brooke said laughing. "It's good to see you happy. We miss you back home though. Jenny's getting so big and Jake's still annoying. But I guess some things never change."

"I miss them," Haley said smiling softly.

"Like I said we all miss you, too," Brooke said as her laughter stopped.

She slowly walked down the quiet hall. She took her time with each step looking around making sure that no one could see her. She closed her eyes and smiled as she felt a hand on her waist holding her still as the little plastic water gun softly pushed into her back.

"Put your hands up."

She quickly did as she was told. Her hands went up with her water gun in the right one. She felt him moving closer behind her. It wasn't long until she heard his gun fall to the ground and both of his hands were on her waist. Her eyes stayed closed as she felt his hot breath against her ear.

"I told you I would get you," she heard him say. "Now, where he is?"

"I'll never tell you," Haley quickly told him as she heard his laughter fill the living room. She smiled as his lips moved to her neck. He kissed her softly a few times before moving his mouth back to her ear.

"I think I could change your mind," he whispered.

"W-we got a plan," Haley muttered as her eyes opened.

"Just tell me, baby," he whispered.

"Duck, Momma!" With that she quickly pushed herself down as Jamie fired his water gun straight in Nathan's face. She moved herself closer to Jamie as they both started laughing. Nathan was standing there stunned with water dripping down his face.

"See…plan," Haley said laughing as she watched him wipe the water off of his face.

"We won, daddy!" Jamie said smiling at him.

"Yeah, daddy," Haley mocked. "We won!"

"Best two out of three?" Nathan quickly asked as he lifted his gun off of the ground.

"I don't know," Haley said shaking her head and looking over at Jamie. "Would do you think, Jimmy Jam?"

"We can beat him again, momma," Jamie said nodding his head excitedly.

"I agree," Haley said laughing.

"Or," Nathan cut in. He closed the distance between them and lifted Haley over his shoulder. She laughed as she tried to get out of his grasp but he held her tightly as he started walking them. "We could just do this."

"Nathan Royal Scott, you put me down now!" Haley shouted in laughter. She heard the back door open and she tried to get out of his grasp more. "It's raining….put me down."

"Come on, Jamie," Nathan said as he held the door open for Jamie to follow them.

"But it's raining, daddy," Jamie said as he walked outside.

"I think your mom wants to go swimming in the rain," Nathan told him.

"She does not," Haley rushed out as he walked them closer to the pool. The cold water drops were falling quickly all over them.

"You know I love the rain, Hales," Nathan said with a smirk before he jumped into the pool with her in his arms. Nathan was the first to surface the water. He wiped his face as he looked at Jamie standing on the side of the pool.

"Momma's going to be so mad," Jamie quickly told his father.

"Nathan!" Haley shouted as she finally made it next to him. "I'm going to get you for that."

"I was hoping that you would say that," Nathan said with a smirk as he wiggled his eyebrows. "Now, how exactly are you going to get me?" Haley laughed before turning her attention to Jamie.

"Come in, baby," Haley told him.

"Yeah, I'll catch you," Nathan said facing towards Jamie. Jamie walked backwards before running in full force towards the pool. He jumped in landing right in front of Nathan as both of them laughed. Nathan quickly caught him and pulled him up.

"I want to do it again," Jamie rushed out as he wiped his face. "Please, momma?"

"Oh, oh okay," Haley said smiling. Nathan placed Jamie back onto the side of the pool before making his way back next to Haley. He smiled at her before leaning in and kissing her tenderly.

"I'm hoping for your payback to…well, I hope it's tonight after the little guy's asleep," Nathan whispered with a smirk.

"If you're lucky," Haley said laughing.

"I already told you, baby," Nathan stated as his hands moved under the water and around her waist pulling her into him. "I'm the luckiest man on the planet. I love you so much."

Haley smiled at that. "Nathan, not in front of Jamie."

"Fine, I'll kiss you later," Nathan said with a chuckle before turning his attention back to Jamie.

"You ready, momma?" Jamie asked.

"You slash daddy good," Haley told him with a smile.

"Hey…"

Jamie jumped right in front of Nathan again. Water flew everywhere as Haley lifted Jamie in her arms. Nathan wiped his eyes before looking at the two of them laughing up a storm a few feet away. He couldn't help but laugh along with them.

"I like swimming with all my clothes on," Jamie said looking down at himself in her arms. She did the same and noticed that they were all wearing their clothes from earlier that day. The rain started to fall harder around them and she felt Nathan's lips on her cheek. She held Jamie securely in her arms as she felt his hot breath on her ear again. He made sure to whisper so that Jamie couldn't hear.

"I don't," Nathan said huskily. Her eyes instantly closed.

"Me either," Haley blurted out.

"You either what, momma?" Jamie questioned.

Nathan's laughter filled the air once again as her cheeks got bright red. "I was just telling your mom how I couldn't picture a more perfect life and she was just agreeing with me, Jimmy Jam."

"Okay," Jamie said smiling. "Me either, too."

"Good man," Nathan said smiling. Jamie nodded his head happily.

"I love you, momma," Jamie told her. She smiled as Nathan lifted him in his arms before dunking him under the water and then pulling him right up. Their laughter filled the air as she watched them. Her heart would flutter in her chest every time Nathan looked back and smiled at her.

Her eyes opened. She wiped away her tears as she started walking. She knew now what she had to do and it hurt her to think about. She felt that sharp pain in her chest again as she walked faster. She knew which life she wanted more than anything. She had known it all along. But still there was that tiny part of her that wanted that other life also. But she knew it wasn't even a competition between the two. She could live without one of those lives but she couldn't live without the other. She let her feet take her right where she needed to be.

She wrapped her arms around her chest as she felt the wind pick up. It was dark by the time she made it there. Her heart pounded as she made her way closer. She had been here so many times. This place was so special. It held so many memories. She felt her heart beat increase as she saw the outline of him at their table. She wiped her face again and fixed the crackerjack bracelet on her wrist. She stopped walking once she was close enough making sure that she kept her distance from him.

"Hi," Haley said softly. He turned his attention off of the water and faced her. "I knew you would be here."

"I come here to think sometimes," Nathan said softly as he turned his attention back towards the water.

"You kind of ran out of there," Haley mumbled. "He asked me to marry him." His eyes didn't move off of the water but she noticed him holding the bench tight. She could tell that he was holding it tight because his knuckles were white.

"Yeah…I saw," Nathan said calmly. "Con-congratulations." He couldn't even get the words out properly as his voice cracked.

"Congratulations?" Haley repeated as her eyes stayed on him. "I just told you that another man asked me to spend the rest of my life with him and all you have to say is congratulations?"

"I want you to be happy," Nathan mumbled softly as he glanced over at her again.

"God!" Haley shouted. For so long she had been holding everything in and it was time for it to come out. She couldn't stop the tears that were rolling uncontrollably down her cheeks. Her hands were shaking and her legs began to feel weak. She looked down again at the crackerjack bracelet before finally talking again. She was done holding back.

"I love you, Nathan. Don't you love me?" Haley shouted as he noticed a fire in her eyes that he had never seen before. "Don't you want me? You spend all your time writing about our epic love. You told the whole world that you loved me, Nathan. You told them that we were meant to be. You say you love me but you haven't fought for me once."

"What do you want me to say, Hales? Tell me and I'll say it," Nathan pleaded.

"What I want you to say?" Haley repeated as more tears fell. "I want you to say don't marry him, Hales. Don't marry him because we're meant to be together and you, me, and Jamie are meant to be a family. I want you to tell me how much you've missed me as much as I've missed you. I want you to tell me that you thought about me every second of everyday just like I thought about you. I want you to be that guy in my bedroom that kissed me for the first time. I want that guy in your room that night I told you that I loved you for the first time. I want you to be that guy at the rivercourt painting our names on the ground."

"I want you to be that guy that gave me this," Haley said softly as she held up her arm and showed him the crackerjack bracelet. "I've been so miserable these past four years, Nathan. Being apart from you is like barely living for me. I haven't been myself since I left that airport. I've been so lost and confused without you. I feel like I've been on autopilot since you left me. I've been closed up for so long, I don't even know the real me anymore. I've barely felt anything since you. My heart has been aching for you because I know that we're meant to be together. I know what a terrible mistake you've made. I want you to tell me what a mistake you made…did you read the letter?"

"You told me not to," Nathan stated as he pulled it out of his back pocket. His heart was pounding as he handed it to her. She took it from him before ripping it open and unfolding it. Then she handed it back to him.

"Read it," Haley told him. "Read it to me."

"Hales, I –"

"Read it, Nathan," Haley repeated. His hands were shaking as he pulled the letter closer to his face. His eyes were watery and he felt his heart beating a mile a minute. Ever since she had handed this to him, he had wanted to read it. He wanted to know every word that she wrote. That sharp pain increased in his heart and his voice broke as he read each word that she wrote.

"Dear Nathan. First off I want to say how much I miss you. This summer has been really fun but then again what isn't fun when you have Brooke Davis around you? But I realized something yesterday. As much fun as I'm having over here it's not enough for me. I know now that I wasn't meant to get on that plane and leave you. Don't get me wrong. I've had a blast doing Europe in Brooke's words 'Baley' style. She calls us that all the time now. It's so her. It'll never be enough without you." He stopped reading then so that his breathing would return to normal. Several seconds later it still hadn't and he continued his heart breaking with every word.

"I've already talked to my dad about this and I wanted to surprise you once I got home. But I can't hold this in. I'll be transferring to Duke for the spring semester. I applied there way before we even started dating. My mother thought it would be a good idea to have a back up plan. She told me to pick anywhere and I picked where you would be. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I got accepted. I actually got that acceptance letter before I even received one for Stanford. The important thing is that I want to be with you. This summer has been so hard without you, Nathan. You have no idea."

"I miss your smile and your laugh. At night when I close my eyes I dream of your touch. There's no way that I'll survive four years without you. I have to be with you. I don't care about Stanford anymore. Dreams change, Nathan. And I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. I wouldn't be giving anything up. You're what I want. No school can ever compare to that. Well, Brooke's yelling for me to get ready for what she calls the best night of our lives. Like I told you before she says that every night. If she only knew that I left all of me with you. I'll be counting down the minutes until I can see your face again. And I don't care what you say, Nathan Royal Scott, I'm going to Duke in the spring and that's final. With all my love, Haley."

"Do you understand now?" Haley questioned as a few more tears fell. "I wouldn't have given up anything…the tour…Stanford, they meant nothing without you. I wouldn't have been giving up anything because for as long as I can remember you're all I've ever wanted."

"Hales…"

"I want to work at this," Haley continued. "I want to trust you again. I want to be us again. Don't you want that? I want it all, Nathan. I want everything with you. I want you and Jamie."

He stood there frozen as she told him everything that he had ever wanted to hear from her. It was like he floated out of his body and he watched both of them. They were both crying and shaking. He kept screaming at himself to tell her how much he loved her and wanted her. But he was too shocked to say anything. What kind of guy makes the biggest mistake of his life and then gets exactly what he wants anyway?

"Just forget it," Haley mumbled as she turned and walked away. "Do what you've done for the last four years when it comes to me…Nothing!" She walked fast this time. Anything to get away from him. Telling them all those things that she had been feeling over the last four years was hard. But she knew the next conversation would be even harder. As she got farther away from him she could still hear him shouting after her.

She stood nervously in front of her house as she wiped her tears. She composed herself before slowly making her way inside. She wanted to run to her room and ball up in her bed and never get up. She wanted to run far away from here. A tiny part of her wished that she had never came back. But it was too late for that.

She opened her door and her heart jumped out of her chest when she saw Jeremy once again sitting at the edge of her bed. Her whole body got cold once she noticed his bags packed on the floor.

"You never were mine, were you?" Jeremy asked softly before looking up at her.

"Jeremy, I –"

"I read the book," Jeremy mumbled as he held it up in his hands. "You have like thirty copies in your closest. I can't believe that I didn't get it before. N. Scott…Nathan Scott. I'm an idiot."

"No, you're not," Haley rushed out.

"Haley, you guys weren't just some high school couple. This is basically a long love letter to you that he wrote for the world to read. The whole time I was reading it, I couldn't believe that it was my girl that he was writing about. Once I got to the end I realized that you never were mine. It makes sense now…us. Now, I know why you fought so hard against us being a couple. I think your exact words were 'I have too much baggage and your friendship means too much to me'."

"I'm so sorry," Haley whispered as tears began to fall again.

"It's my fault," Jeremy said shrugging his shoulders. "You told me you didn't want a boyfriend and I just had to have you."

"Please, don't do that," Haley said shaking her head. "Be mad at me. Please, just do anything but be nice. I don't deserve it."

"I'm not mad at you," Jeremy said smiling at her. "I could never be mad at you."

"Please, stop," Haley said closing her eyes. This was not helping.

"It kills me to say this but he loves you," Jeremy said with a halfhearted smile. "I guess I've know since I met him. It's why I didn't like him. I was afraid he was going to take you away from me but you've been his since you were kids. I mean he almost died for you. I had no idea that you even went through something like that, Haley."

He didn't know because she never told him. She never told him anything. She was the most horrible person on the planet. She felt like dying. The pain in her heart was too much to take.

"I'm so sorry," Haley repeated again. "I do love you." And she really meant that. She did love him. It wasn't the same kind of love that she felt for Nathan but it was love.

"I know," Jeremy said standing up and walking over to her. "We've had some pretty good times, huh? I don't want you to be upset about this, okay? Even knowing how we're about to end I wouldn't change a thing. These past two years have been amazing, Haley. I really and truly mean that. You've taught me so much."

"Stop being nice," Haley whispered. His words were sweet but it somehow made her hurt more.

"I'm not going to be mean to you," Jeremy said smiling as he reached for her hands. "I'll never forget you." She couldn't control herself as she pushed herself into his arms. She was sobbing uncontrollably now. "Everything's going to be okay." And even as he said those comforting words she knew that she should be saying them to him. For the last two years he had been a comfort to her.

"I'm a horrible person," Haley sobbed into his chest. "I never meant to hurt you."

"Hey, it's okay," Jeremy whispered. "You can't help who you love."

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry." She kept repeating these words over and over as he held her in his arms. She didn't stop crying and as they heard it start to rain outside it somehow made her cry more. The rain was hitting the roof of the house hard as a few rolls of thunder cracked in the sky making her move more into him. He held her tight as she broke down in his arms.

Nathan stood outside of her house. It took him the longest time to get the feeling back in his legs and even then his knee was hurting. But even with all that pain he still ran after her. He had to. The rain was pouring on him as he watched their shadows from her window. He watched as they hugged. Even minutes later when they were still holding each other he still watched. He couldn't look away. He knew it was his fault that this was happening. Everything was his fault.

AN: Oh, Nathan. What am I going to do with you? It took him sometime but he got there…he's always really slow with these things. Poor, Jeremy. From the beginning I thought of him as that perfect guy who wasn't the perfect guy for her. Like the guy in Sweet Home Alabama or The Notebook. You love them but they're not the right guy. I'm not going to lie...I cried writing this.

Just to ease your worried minds, I would never have Nathan turn into his old self again. I think he learned his lesson from Nikki. Plus, he's always known what he's wanted. He just needs to be that selfish guy and finally take it. Now, we can start the next part of the story.