Saturday January 16

At six-thirty am Saturday morning Adrian pulled up in front of Emma's apartment building and got out as soon as she came through the doors. Emma was nursing a steaming cup of tea and looked a little less than awake. "Not a morning person?" he guessed.

She chuckled and sipped the hot liquid. "I can be. Day care starts in an hour on weekdays, but I usually don't get up early on Saturdays."

"Well, I appreciate you sacrificing this one for me." Adrian folded his arms on top of the car. "So, how many dates do we have to go on before I can call you my girlfriend?"

He sounded more like a shy kid in high school than a man in his late thirties. Emma thought about it for a moment. "Ten," she decided.

Adrian looked at her questioningly. "What number is today?"

Her eyes twinkled. "Ten."

His grin stretched from ear to ear and he hurried around to open the door for her. "In that case, I really hope someone asks about us so I can introduce you properly."

Emma got settled. "Is that a possibility?"

Adrian's nose wrinkled. "Not really. The trees and birds at Great Falls Park have never been the inquisitive type."

She laughed. "I think you'd have to be in Narnia before that happened."

He started the engine. "You never know. Could just be that they haven't been discovered yet."

The half hour drive passed pleasantly in the near darkness and by the time they found a parking spot and hauled Adrian's equipment up a ridge, golden rays were beginning to splash over the picturesque landscape. Aside from the photoshoot with her niece, Emma had never really watched Adrian work before and it was fascinating. He set up his tripod and took several pictures from one angle, moved slightly to the side, and did it again. She eventually sat on the waterproof blanket protecting the rest of Adrian's accessories and waited. After almost twenty minutes he dropped down beside her, reached for her hand, and sighed.

"Breathtaking, isn't it?"

Emma looked out over the small waterfall flowing into a stream, pale yellow sunshine glinting off its surface, and smiled. "You picked a great spot."

His thumb caressed the back of her hand. "I've been trying since last year to catch the rays of dawn on that waterfall. Maybe this'll be the day." Adrian's eyes lit up as he turned to her. "I think I got a rainbow refracting through one of those icicles over there." He pointed. "That would be a one in a million shot."

"Do you come here often?"

Adrian leaned back on one hand. "A handful of times every season. I never run out of scenes to capture, and when I do environmental ads it's great to have local beauty to show off."

Emma blew out a breath and watched the fog disappear into the air. "It's cold out. I'm surprised your fingers aren't numb." She couldn't believe he worked without mittens on.

"I don't like to have anything between me and my camera." His brow furrowed. "Are you too cold? Do we need to go back to the car?"

Emma shook her head. "You can't invite me on a day trip and quit after the first hour. I grew up around here, I dressed in layers. Now how about showing me some of those natural wonders you adore so much?"

Finding a vein of courage he didn't know he possessed, Adrian leaned over and captured her lips for a perfect, brief moment. "I'm looking at one right now."

She pulled off one glove, her chilly fingers sliding up his cheek, an untamable smile claiming her face. "Someone taught you all the right things to say," Emma whispered, brushing her lips over his to return the gesture. "For future reference, this is a really good way to start the morning."

Adrian hugged her close, unable to believe his luck. He couldn't've asked for a better reaction to their first kiss. "I'll remember that," he murmured into her scarf. After a moment he stood up and helped Emma to her feet. "Mademoiselle, may I have this walk?"

Emma giggled and curtsied as gracefully as she could in snowpants and a winter coat. "It would be my pleasure Monsieur. And don't forget your camera. I'd hate for you to miss any of this."

Adrian swept his eyes over her face. "Trust me, I don't plan to miss a thing." This was what he'd been waiting for.

NCIS

Sunday January 17

"Hey, hey! Looks who's back! Welcome honeymooners!" Tony crowed when two familiar and much-missed people strolled into the gym twenty-four days after their magical Christmas Eve wedding.

Cassie's face lit up and she ran towards Allie with arms outstretched. Jordan let go of his wife's hand just in time and happy tears streamed down both their cheeks. "Don't you ever go three weeks without seeing me again! I can't handle it!"

Allie laughed and hugged her best friend tightly. "Separation anxiety much Mom?"

"Well, how was it?" Brent wanted to know. Because of the demands of their jobs and the length of time they'd spent in a relationship prior to getting married, they'd taken two weeks to be away together and had arrived back in the early hours of Sunday morning the previous week, but had been too jetlagged to make it to basketball that afternoon.

Reclaiming his bride, Jordan grinned. "Fantastic. You should all try it someday."

"The honeymoon or the traveling?" Darien teased.

"Both," the red-haired man replied emphatically. "The trip was amazing - Italy, Greece, Capri. I think we'd totally go back, right honey?"

She allowed him the endearment since the novelty hadn't worn off yet and this was the first time they'd seen their friends as a married couple. He loved showing her off. "Definitely. There's such an incredible amount of history in those places. I could've spent another month there and still not seen everything."

Mark crossed his arms. "Please tell me you didn't play tourists the whole time. You guys know what a honeymoon is for, right?"

Allie blushed furiously and turned her face into Jordan's shoulder, while he chuckled self-consciously. "We're aware, yes. And that part is our own business Papa Smurf."

Ziva walked over quietly and put her hand on Allie's shoulder, speaking softly and subtly separating the woman from her husband as the guys took over ribbing him good-naturedly for details. "Was it everything you hoped for?"

She wrapped her arms around the slender lady who'd become a good friend over the last several months. "It was wonderful Ziva. Jordan was so sweet and tender and loving, so patient with me. I never could've imagined... I've heard couples talk about sharing that oneness but...nothing prepared me for how special it really was."

"Your first time is something you will never forget Allie. I am glad Jordan made that a good memory for you."

Allie shrugged one shoulder. "Things...took some practice. It was kind of awkward at first."

"That is to be expected." Ziva squeezed her hand. "But you have a lifetime together to figure the rest out. Familiarity will come, I promise. And the result will be worth all the work you have to put into it."

She bit her lip. "I think I'll enjoy the journey, and the practice," Allie whispered.

Ziva smiled knowingly. "As you should." She led her friend over to sit on the bleachers, Cassie talking to her children and graciously giving them a moment alone. "Now tell me about the sightseeing. I have been to those countries before. What was your favourite part?"

With the private stuff set aside, Allie turned and waved Cassie over to join them, pulling a stack of pictures from her bag. "I brought these so I could show as well as tell. I loved everything about it, even all the walking. The first day we spent in Rome I thought my feet were going to fall off we walked so far, but..."

Their conversation faded into the background as the men let Jordan off the hook and split into teams. It was good to all be back together. They functioned best when no one was missing.

NCIS

Feeling much more at ease than she had a month and a half ago at the skating rink, CJ pushed open the gym doors and guided Ryan in ahead of her. Brent looked up from a conversation with Tony while they were on a drink break and jogged over to them, kissing her cheek so quickly she wondered if she'd imagined it. Reading relief in his gaze, CJ's eyebrows drew together. "Afraid we were going to back out?"

He grinned. "Nah, you owed me. After I spent an entire day with your parents last week, I figured a couple hours hanging out with the gang couldn't be that bad."

"Ryan's talked of nothing else since you asked us yesterday." Her son had already darted away to the corner where Alec and McKenna were set up, and Alec was offering to show the younger boy some soccer passes with the ball he'd brought.

Brent chuckled. "Guess I'm nothing compared to other kids. I think he really likes being Peter Pan to them."

"He loves it. Makes him feel special."

"The nicknames are fun," Brent agreed. "You know you belong once you get one."

"Hey Flame!" They looked across the court and a basketball came sailing through the air. Brent grabbed it only inches from CJ's face. "Do you play?"

She shook her head at Mark. "My sports involve choreography and ballet slippers, sorry guys." To Brent she raised an eyebrow. "Flame, huh?"

He pursed his lips and rolled the ball between his hands. "Could've been worse."

CJ frowned. "How so?"

Brent grinned. "Cassie just loves Anne of Green Gables, Carrots."

She rolled her eyes and waved him off. "Go play."

"Yes ma'am." He paused two steps away. "Remember what I said about belonging?" He nodded towards the three kids playing at the side and the women gesturing for CJ to join them. "You do now."

Then he was off and CJ watched him go with a smile. Flame, she could get used to that. She had a feeling that once you'd been accepted by this group there was no way of getting out again, not that you'd want to. If there was one thing these people knew very well it was how to love each other, and anyone else lucky enough to get caught in their orbit. Smiling at Ryan and joining the wives, CJ was thankful they were two of the lucky ones.

NCIS

Ziva knew it was a bad idea to tease Tony about tripping over his shoelaces and falling at basketball as they walked in the house, but it had just been so funny after they determined he wasn't hurt that she couldn't resist. Then he got that glint in his eyes and lunged towards her, the punishment for her error to be paid by tickling. Ziva darted away and faked him out around the kitchen table, then ran shrieking into their room. Close behind, Tony grabbed her and pulled her onto the bed, pinning her down with his body and wriggling his fingers up and down her sides while she laughed and struggled to get away. Meira jumped up and barked, a warning in the sound when she couldn't tell if her mistress needed protecting or not, and Tony finally relented.

As they both caught their breath, he brushed aside an errant curl. "Ziva, you are so beautiful."

The amusement in her eyes was replaced with a deep fondness and her hands framed his face. "I love you."

That was all it took for his mouth to cover hers, the hand at her waist slipping under her shirt and pulling her into his body. Ziva responded equally to his enthusiasm, sliding one leg between his and arching against him. A moan escaped her throat when the kiss deepened and Tony broke away, grasping for the fast unraveling shreds of his self control. "Zi..." he pleaded, breathing hard and pressing his fingers into her lower back, hoping she would understand.

Ziva shuddered under his touch and her eyes fluttered closed. "Tony," she whispered breathily, courage building within her, "you do not have to stop."

Her words hit him like running into a wall and Tony could only stare at her. "What did you say?" He'd waited months for permission and it happened just like that?

She made an impatient noise and tried to tug him closer to recapture his lips. "Do. Not. Stop."

He leaned his forehead on hers. "Forgive me for the disbelief sweetheart, but please tell me you're sure about this."

Ziva looked up at her husband with utter trust in her gaze. "I am sure ahava. You have waited more than long enough."

Still he hesitated. Though he was her last consensual partner, her most recent experience with the act had been forced and violent and painful to a degree he didn't want to imagine, and he'd thought about it far too much since she shared her summer with him. "Honey, I don't want to hurt you."

Her arms snaked around his neck and she held him carefully. "You will not."

His lips attacked hers then, gratitude and anticipation and fierce want welling up inside and spilling over. The intense kiss led to intimate, intentional touching and Tony and Ziva parted only long enough to pull shirts off and wiggle out of pants. With her hands roaming over the top half of his body, Ziva lifted her behind so Tony could yank the covers down, then brought his mouth back to hers, not willing to relinquish even a bit of the contact.

In between kisses he asked again, and when her consent was given through a searing touch of her lips on his, Ziva suddenly found herself naked without really remembering how she got that way. The first flash of fear came as Tony kicked his boxers away and moved to rest between her legs, but Ziva refused to give it any power. And when he took her it was with such aching gentleness that she could overlook the discomfort. But with his first movement a flashback exploded from the recesses of her mind and the whimper that cut through the air was not one of pleasure but fear, pain, and desperation. She got her arms up and shoved her attacker away, panic cloaking her features while she frantically scanned the small dark cell for a way out.

Tony's frustrated, "What the heck Ziva?" broke through the reality of the vision and she suddenly knew where she was. As soon as he realized what was happening he was in her space and working to calm her down. But embarrassment, disappointment, and the all too familiar shame crowded around her and she twisted out of his grip and ran to the bathroom, locking herself in.

Struggling to process what had happened, Tony stood in the middle of the room, thinking back to those first moments he'd savoured after nine months of not being able to touch her that way. He'd planned to take things nice and slow, for Ziva so she could hopefully enjoy the sensation, and himself so it wouldn't be over too quickly. Then her body went rigid and cold and his fantasy disappeared in the blink of an eye as he found himself abruptly pushed out of her space and alone on the bed with Ziva looking like a caged animal where she crouched on the floor. His irritation at the interruption got the better of him before he could see what was really going on and try to help.

Ready to face this with her now, Tony grabbed a couple things from their room, dug his lock picking kit out of his backpack, and called Meira over. He opened the door halfway, enough to see Ziva sitting in front of the tub, knees pulled up and ankles crossed to cover herself, head buried in her arms. "Go see if she's okay," he told the dog.

Meira took tentative steps inside and nudged Ziva's knee with her nose. The woman wrapped her arms around her pet, tears soaking into the warm fur. When she finally looked up and saw him kneeling at the door in pyjama pants and a t-shirt, the crying started again. She tried to speak but couldn't and Tony had a feeling he knew exactly what she wanted to say. Creeping closer, he took up residence on her other side, offering a pair of panties and one of his hoodies so she didn't have to feel exposed. Then he folded her into a tight embrace and let her get the emotion out.

At last she sniffed. "I am sorry Tony. I did not think...I hoped..." Ziva sighed. "I wanted it to be okay. I wanted to give that to you."

He tipped her chin up and stared seriously into her eyes. "I have to know if I hurt you in some way Ziva, if that's what triggered this."

Ziva shook her head. "No."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "I was uncomfortable, but that is to be expected after so many months." Her fingers skimmed over his cheek. "You were gentle Tony. I know you would not hurt me on purpose."

"Never," he promised, kissing her fingers. "Are you okay?"

Ziva found it difficult to meet his gaze. "You will have to...give me some time before we try again." She rubbed her forehead. "I'm sorry."

Tony smoothed her hair back and left soft kisses all over her face. "It's okay sweetheart, I get it." He sighed and hugged her close. "We'll figure it out. I'm not giving up, no matter how long it takes."

Ziva swiped a sleeve across her eyes. "But you have already waited so long for me to be ready. It's not fair!"

He rubbed a warm hand down her bare leg. "It's not fair either that you've been hurt so badly you can't even begin to enjoy the gift of intimacy now. But that's how it is and we're going to work this out, I promise."

She averted her eyes. "You should not promise something when you do not know."

His fingers dug into her curls. "Maybe not. But I need to have enough hope for both of us." Tony ghosted his lips over hers. "We've been through so much Zi and we've made it. I don't see us failing now."

Ziva was too weary to be optimistic. She buried her hand in Meira's coat and sighed quietly. It was like she was detaching from him and Tony could feel it - the shift in attention, not returning his kiss, shutting down the conversation - but he didn't know how to stop what was happening. "Want a shower?" She shook her head. "Tea?" A shoulder shrug, but it wasn't a no. He looked at the clock, nearly dinner time, though in this frame of mind Ziva was not likely to want to eat anything. Knowing he couldn't enable her bad habits, Tony forced himself to get up. "Couch is more comfortable than that floor. I'm going to start supper."

There was no acknowledgment, so it was impossible to tell if he was even getting through. Needing some edible comfort, garlic bread was the first thing he started on, then his fallback of pasta, but alfredo tonight instead of spaghetti. Standing in front of the stove stirring sauce and noddles, Tony didn't notice when Ziva appeared at the counter, still only wearing his hoody. She looked so young with her hair down, bare legs and feet, and a wounded expression. Wordlessly he passed her a piping hot slice of bread and watched her slowly pick off strings of cheese. Aware that the likelihood of her eating was slim, he still dished out a small portion into a shallow white bowl and left it on the counter, putting a Bourne movie in the DVD player, needing to lose himself in the sober content and violence.

Next time he looked Ziva had disappeared again and the door to the office was shut. He could imagine her curled up in the corner chair, pen scratching rapidly across the pages of her journal and Meira laying at her feet. If that was the only way she could find release and get it out, fine, but he wished she could talk to him instead. Jason Bourne was watching Pamela Landy through a window at Langley in the second movie before Ziva came out. Her eyes were a little clearer and she settled on the other side of the couch, feet tucked under her.

"I'm sorry," she offered, hearing an echo of their time in the bathroom. He shut off the TV and angled his body to face her. She sighed. "I do not mean to shut you out."

"Not what it looked like," Tony muttered. She wasn't the only one dealing with the aftereffects of a failed attempt. His own confidence had taken a decent hit from the episode as well.

Ziva swallowed and ran slender fingers through her tousled curls. "I know. And I do not know how to explain except to say that there are times I feel as if I am watching my life through a window, observing but not connecting, not feeling anything. The world becomes a blur, like I somehow exist separate from it, and no one can get through the murk surrounding me." She gave him a small smile, twisting her fingers together. His eyes caught the glint of her rings before she spoke again. "But thank you for trying."

Tony stayed on his own side. "I'll never stop trying Zi, but it's really, really hard to be left out. I wanted this to work for us too."

She crawled across the cushions and into his space, cupping his cheeks between her hands. "I know." Leaning close, Ziva tentatively touched her lips to his. As if it was a signal Tony put both arms around her waist and pulled her against him, deepening the caress. And even though making love was the most intense form of connection they could share, sitting on the couch kissing and touching for as long as it took to feel better was almost as profound.

When they finally went back to bed Ziva shed the hoody and crawled under the sheets in only her underwear. Feeling like it was an invitation, Tony left everything except his boxers on the floor and joined her. He tested her reaction by gliding a hand up her side, but she only smiled, still seeming surprised, but pleasantly so, when he trailed delicate kisses up her stomach and over her breasts. Ziva's fingers slid into his hair and she closed her eyes, allowing the show of affection and the closeness they both needed. Tony fell asleep with his head on her bare skin where he could feel and listen to her heart beat, their arms loosely around each other. When he woke up the next morning he lay on his side with Ziva's front pressed into his back, her arm across his chest and head resting between his shoulder blades, holding on tight. If that was all they did, then maybe they really would make it to okay.

NCIS

Monday January 18

Dr. Maitland was very interested in the turn of events when they showed up in her office at lunchtime a day later. "I'm proud of both of you. That was a big step."

Ziva wrinkled her nose. "There is nothing to be proud of. It did not work."

"That's not surprising," the counselor replied. "But the point is you were willing to be vulnerable enough to let Tony approach you that way." Ziva remained unconvinced. "However, I would like to warn you before you go for a repeat. Because of the trauma Ziva's body and mind associates with sex, your first few times may not go as smoothly as you would like."

"Would've been nice to know that a couple days ago," Tony muttered darkly, clearing his expression when Ziva looked at him.

Honora's face reflected sympathy. "I'm sorry, but I really didn't think things had progressed that far yet."

He shrugged. "Us either."

"It can take some time," she continued, "but even women who have dealt with similar experiences to Ziva's go on to have normal, healthy sex lives. Patience and persistence is the key." That was as much as they were willing to talk about it, so she moved on. "As for how that affected you - any nightmares Ziva?"

Almost baffled that there had been none, she shook her head. "No."

"That's a good sign. Of course, there's no guarantees that'll be the case every time, but I'm glad you didn't have to deal with anything else last night."

The session ended with little else being said and the couple returned to work. As far as anyone else knew, it was just another day.

NCIS

Wednesday, January 20

Brent stood in front of CJ and Ryan's apartment door, holding the salad he'd offered to make, without even the security of his furry, four-legged wingman. Raising a hand, he knocked and waited and seconds later the door was thrown open and Ryan's smiling face greeted him. "Hi Coach!"

He gave the boy a side hug and grinned. "Hi buddy. How was school?"

Ryan lit up. "Breanna and I got first place for our poster! She's a really good drawer."

"Artist monkey," CJ corrected gently. "Breanna's a really good artist."

"That's what I told Coach," he protested and the adults exchanged amused glances.

Brent held out the plastic bowl like an offering. "One salad as requested." When CJ came to take it, he brushed his lips over her cheek. "Hi." She blushed but he didn't leave her enough time to over think it. "Busy day?"

She set the salad on the counter and returned to the cooked chicken she was dicing. "Four classes today, that's pretty much my limit. I could do five, but at the point they're pretty much scraping me off the gym floor by the end. Did you get that cheese grated Ry?"

"Yup." He plunked the container down. "It's full."

CJ rubbed his back. "You're a great helper, thank you."

Brent felt a bit out of place. "Can I help with anything?"

"Ryan, show Coach where the plates and cutlery are. We only need forks tonight." CJ's attention was entirely on finishing the meal now and Ryan tugged at Brent's arm, pointing.

"Up there."

Opening the left side of the cupboard, Brent took down two adult plates and a child sized one while Ryan got the forks. They went back for glasses and Brent carefully lined them up with the plates and forks, Ryan went for a hot pad and black slotted spoon. "Smells great CJ," he commented, taking a moment to look around the room. A thrill went through him on seeing the ballerina painting he'd given her for Christmas hanging on the far wall and Ryan's red crazy carpet rolled up by the closet.

"Dinner's ready," CJ announced, carrying over a large pot. "What would everyone like to drink?" Ryan and Brent defaulted to water so CJ joined them, but squeezed a small packet of liquid iced tea mix into hers first and stirred it. She sat down and reached for Ryan's hand. "Shall we say grace?"

Ryan stretched his hand across the table to hold Brent's and CJ tentatively offered hers as well. Then he closed his eyes and recited, "God we thank You for this food, for rest and home and all things good, for wind and rain and sun above, but most of all for those we love. Amen."

Brent found the rhyming prayer sweet and squeezed Ryan's hand before letting go. As the guest he was offered the first serving of a casserole with chicken, cheese, potatoes, rice, beans, carrots, cauliflower, and broccoli. From the first taste he was impressed. "This is really good."

"It's our favourite," Ryan piped up. "Mom invented it."

His eyebrows rose and he shifted his gaze to CJ. "Really?"

She shrugged. "An experiment while I was learning to cook during my college years. It's one that definitely stuck. And I have a store of Mom's old recipes too." She scanned the table and jumped up. "Oops, forgot salad dressing. Any favourites Brent?"

Brent looked across at Ryan, carefully helping himself to salad. "What's my buddy having?"

"Creamy poppyseed." CJ chuckled. "Dad got him onto it."

"I'll try that." He'd try anything once.

The meal passed quickly as they all shared more about their days and discussed plans for their usual Saturday afternoon at Brent's house. "I bet Cody is lonely tonight," Ryan commented as he and Brent cleared the table and got ready to do dishes. They insisted that since CJ cooked she shouldn't have to clean up.

Brent scrubbed a plate clean. "Nah, he's probably having some crazy party while I'm not around."

The boy giggled. "Coach, dogs don't have parties!"

His eyebrows jumped up. "They don't?!"

"No silly! They're not people."

Brent held a dripping finger to his mouth. "Shh! Don't tell Cody that. He'd be heartbroken! He's absolutely sure that he's part human." He handed a glass to Ryan to dry. "Cody will be so excited to see you after school on Friday. I think he misses you almost as much as I do after a whole week."

"I miss him too," Ryan lamented. "But there's still Saturday."

Brent set his hand on the child's shoulder. "Yeah buddy, there's always Saturday."

CJ listened to the laughter and the two 'boys' having fun in the kitchen and hugged her arms around herself. They could be a family - her husband and son doing dishes while she picked out a movie for the evening and contemplated dessert - and that idea scared her to death. Maybe they were getting too close. And as always in a crisis, where fear and indecision warred within her heart, CJ's first instinct was to run.

NCIS

Thursday January 21

Thursday marked the fourth month since Ziva had been home and halfway through the afternoon Tony sent a paper airplane sailing across the space between their desks. Inside was a note asking if she'd go out with him that night. He saw her small smile but was unprepared for the balled up sticky note that bounced off his forehead a minute later with her response scrawled across it. After that Gibbs growled at them not to pass any notes they didn't want to share with the class and sent them on separate errands. But it was always nice to have something to look forward to.

That night as they were sharing mini sponge cakes filled with fruit, raspberry sauce drizzled generously over them, and a dusting of icing sugar on top, Ziva pointed her fork at him. "I think I need to move out."

Tony almost choked on a bite of the dessert at his eyes bugged out. "What?! Why?"

She chuckled at his disbelief. "Not for real silly man. For the team. It's been weeks since Abby asked and I told Gibbs."

He took a couple gulps of water and closed his eyes. "Don't scare me like that woman." Her head tilted and soft curls cascaded over her shoulder. Tony sighed. "Yeah, I know. But how are we supposed to get around that without lying?"

Ziva shrugged. "I took a tour of that place in Alexandria we drove by and memorized the layout. I can talk about 'the apartment' without ever calling it mine."

Tony made a face. "I'm really sick of this. All the pretending. Why can't we just tell them the truth?"

She pulled out the Israeli passport Nettie had sent from the items cleaned out of her locker at Mossad headquarters and pointed to the nationality. "Because until that says 'American' and not 'Israeli' I do not really belong here. And I do not feel secure enough in this country or my place at NCIS to tip the boat yet."

He slid his hand over hers. "Rock the boat ninja."

Ziva's eyebrows rose high. "Would that news not tip it completely?"

Tony conceded with a nod. "I guess telling them we're married may even sink the boat." He leaned back. "I know what you mean. I just..." he shook his head. "Three and a half years Zi, when is it going to be okay to not pretend?"

She put the small blue book away. "Next summer perhaps, when I am not on probation anymore, when I have been an official citizen for long enough to feel safe." She poked at one cake and licked a bit of sauce off the tip of her finger. "When we started all this I never thought ahead to when the secret would become a burden instead of our safe place to hide. I am not sure when the time will be right to let everyone in. I am sorry if that upsets you."

He scooted his chair closer to hers and put his arm around her shoulders. "I'm not upset Zi, only tired of the game." Tony forced a smile. "But I can wait."

Ziva's fingers drifted over his cheek. "You should not have to."

The kiss was sudden but not unexpected, his way of closing a subject when there was no resolution and he didn't want to fight or leave her feeling bad. She opened her mouth slightly and deepened the caress, angling her body to be closer to him. Tony's arm dropped to her waist and held her in place, not realizing until the waiter cleared his throat that they had an audience. Ziva's eyes dropped as he reached for his wallet, but Tony refused to be embarrassed about sharing a moment like that with his wife, public place or not. When the uniformed man left to get their receipt he tipped her chin up and leaned in to whisper something. The comment earned him a roll of the eyes and a half-hearted smack to his chest, but Ziva was smiling and the sparkle he loved graced her beautiful brown eyes, so he didn't really think he was in that much trouble.

Once they got in the car she brought the conversation back around, turning to watch the way the streetlights threw a glow across his face. "What about my mail?" Ever since she returned everything intended for her had been routed through NCIS and funneled to Gibbs from the mailroom, as the last current address anyone had was for her no longer in existence apartment. "Should I just put our address down?" After keeping the address of his apartment for awhile with mail being forwarded to a PO box, Tony finally had filled out a change of address form to have things sent to their house.

Tony thought about it. "You could, I guess." He rubbed the back of his neck, a sure-fire tell that something wasn't okay. "I'd just...hate for anyone on the team to find out about us like that, you know? I don't want to end up telling them because someone accidentally came across that information. That wouldn't be fair to any of them. They deserve to hear it from us, whenever the news does come out."

"If not that, then what?"

His fingers drummed out a steady rhythm on the steering wheel. "We can do the same as I did - rent a PO box for a year, then fill out new paperwork for a change. By then it might almost be time for us to be out in the open anyways."

Ziva relaxed into the seat. "Alright. Apartments often have PO boxes, so that should raise no questions. But I doubt anyone is looking for that information anyways."

"I hope not," Tony told her. "Because I really want to be there to see their faces when we tell."

Laughing, Ziva leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder. "I love you Anthony DiNozzo."

He grinned. "What a coincidence Mrs. DiNozzo. I've been in love with you since the first time I saw you cry, and I knew I wanted to be the guy you let inside your heart." Tony lifted her hand to kiss the back. "It has been a privilege."

The next red light came in handy and Ziva took full advantage of the twenty second wait by molding her mouth to her husband's and kissing him with everything in her heart. It never ceased to amaze her how he could make her feel like the luckiest woman in the world. Ziva pitied any other woman who wasn't loved the way she was. They truly were missing out.

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Christie - Thank you :) That's nice of you to say. I really do enjoy writing this story and I don't plan to take breaks, they just kind of happen. lol...my life is quite busy but I love it and things are good, no complaints. I'm glad people can still find a haven in FF for all the TZ love that we were cheated out of seeing. haha...you're welcome to try, but I'm beginning to believe that CBS doesn't give a fig what any of us think. I'll do my best. More soon, the next chapter just needs a couple of things added before it's ready to go up. You're very welcome. Thank you for the lovely review :) ~Aliyah

Rebecca - Thanks! That's nice to hear. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Yes, A&E make a good couple. B&CJ...they're a work in progress. But I would say by the end of this part of the story, they will have made some very satisfying progress ;) Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah

Sunnyside2 - I'm glad to be back to. I love this universe :) After this, T&Z should be fully convince that they can make it through anything. The Paris part of Jetlag will be about a chapter and a half and I'm really pleased with how it came out. Looking forward to sharing it with you guys. Thanks for reviewing! :)

Kmf - Thanks for caring, it's nice to know. I'm glad you liked the chapter. haha...fluff? I'm not sure if I'd go quite that far, unless you were talking about the OCs and not T&Z. But we're working our way in that direction...eventually. Domestic...yeah, I like those little glimpses too. Reminds me that they will have normalcy in their life again once all this darkness has passed. I hate Z's nightmares too. Unfortunately it will be many more months before those cease to haunt her. If there's one thing I'm striving for in this version of Somalia, it is to make this situation different than RofS. I'm glad you see it that way. Them being married and in a physical relationship prior to her captivity gives me a bit more flexibility to work with. I always love to hear that people are enjoying the story. Thanks for taking the time to review! :) ~Aliyah