Author: Amberfly

Series: Dan and Cam.

Title: Weekend at the O'Neill's 04#

Warnings: None.

Feedback: Yes please.

The story is based on the real life adventures of the small one. Emily. I make Cheryl tell me everything this kid does, and it always makes me laugh. All the best lines are hers.

Right, lunch time. No shopping done, but that's okay, got happy kids. Okay, speaking of happy kids, where are the little farts? Normally one would be under my feet causing a diversion while the other infiltrated the pantry demanding food. What's that noise? Ah, found one child. Mm, Daniel is not happy. Okay, looks like he lost a buck but found a dime. What's in his hand? Huh-huh, its Eamon, and he's seen better days.

Danny has this purple, ratty rabbit called Eamon. Don't ask why he's called Eamon, I don't know. What I do know is that he loves the thing to death. There in lies the problem. He obsesses a little about his toys, and Cammie loves to wind him up. If I interfere, it looks like I'm playing favorites. Truth? Both drive me equally nuts! Love em to bits.

Anyway, after our spectacular failure at Walmart we have an incident. Tears are plentiful and the kids aren't happy either. Eamon has lost an ear. Lost is probably too finer a point, maybe Eamon has been the victim of purple ratty rabbit violence. I suspect it was attempted rabbit-icide, and I should round up the usual suspects, but Cam isn't talking.

Ah-huh. Course he isn't. He will though, I am good at interrogating little boys who tell me whoppers.

Danny's eyes are full of tears, and sitting his ass on the floor, he pummels my knee, just in case I missed the tell tale signs he's upset. Danny doesn't always think much of my intellect when it comes to the matter of his toys. In his hand is Eamon, minus a purple, ratty, rabbit ear. By the time I wrestle the toy from him, it's covered in snot, tears, and cookie. Danny tells me force feeding a chocolate chip cookie into its mouth will some how make the ear grow back. Danny is a genius, right? Maybe the brain cells multiple as he gets older.

Predictably the ear hasn't grown back and doesn't look as though it will any time soon. I hug Danny, ratty rabbit and all. Poor kid, he's heart broken. Cammie is looking at serious corner time here. Still, I haven't any hard evidence yet, so I'll give the little fart the benefit of the doubt. For the time being.

Danny is never down for long. Drying his tears, rubbing his nose across my once white t-shirt, he decides on a plan. He tells me he's going to perform life saving surgery on the ratty rabbit. I mentioned, gently as possible, it's a stuffed toy, and why? He looks me in the eye, and if look could kill I'd be pushing up daisies. That's if I had any left after last weekends gardening effort by Cam. Danny informs me that Eamon is his best-est friend ever! He punctuates this with a head butt to my chin.

Speaking of the garden vandal, Cammie is slinking down the hall. That is one shifty looking kid. Mm, I take it by the pout he is unhappy with being bumped for a one eared toy. Call me crazy, but this disaster has that kid's finger prints all over it. I'll be having a long chat with him very soon; knows more about this ear loss than he's letting on.

Okay, mangled toys aside, I need to get groceries, and Sara has dropped in. Good, she'll mind the kids, and keep Danny from sterilizing the cutlery and using the kitchen table as an operating table. House is so going to be banned in the O'Neill household as from today. This is new, for some obscure reason known only to my ex-wife; she has a sewing kit in her car. I refrain from asking why. With Sara on the case though, I figure all will be well.

I leave them chatting about matters of great importance, which color cotton to use. Cammie is still noticeable by his absence. Mm…

Giving Walmart the wide berth, I use the markets close to our house, and walking around them peacefully, a miraculous thing happens. Halleluiah, brother. Everything happens to he who waits. I find Eamon! Well, not our Eamon, but a pretty close version of it. Now, I'm on a winner here! It's purple, but neither ratty nor ear challenged, and for a buck and a half, I figure it's a steal. I head home to tell the ratty rabbits daddy the good news. I am a hunter and gatherer no doubt about it.

Danny is delighted! His whole face beams! Oiy, this kid's smile is like a Christmas tree, it lights up the whole damn room! Then, he does something that has me shaking my head. He grabs the new and more complete version of Eamon, and yanking its ear, says with a delighted if not kinda scary voice.

"Look, Eamon! Daddy has found you an organ donor."

I look.

Sara chokes.

Cammie, the toy rabbit assassin, says, "Cool" I suspect he wishes he thought of this.

"Rriight," Daniel, I say, trying not to laugh my ass off, "you sure that's what you want?" It's a tough call for Eamon the second, I mean he's only been in the house for less than three minutes and already he's chopped liver. Even for us, it's a new record.

Danny ignores me, and he's got that scary, 'I can solve this,' look on his face. Riigghtt, he's got the scissors and is hacking of the new rabbit's ear. Talk about blood thirsty. Okay, please, now he's got Sara's needle and thread, and is sewing the transplanted organ onto Eamon. It's a Frankenstein effort, and Sara has tears running down her face. She offers to fix the surgery, and Danny happily accepts. He's a care and share type of butcher.

He is smiling while he tosses the unlikely, buck and a half, organ donor into the toy box. God, remind me not to let this kid pick my nursing home! Cammie is looking like Mother Teresa here, remind me to plant more flowers. Sara is now almost helpless with laughter. Fat lot of help she's turning out to be.

"Its okay, "Danny announces to the new, but horribly damaged toy, "You can stay. I can keep you for body parts."

I ask you.

You know, it s the animated conversation between Danny and the rabbits that gets me the most. Sara is snorting while she is unpicking Dr Frankenstein's efforts. Eamon's new ear is sewn on backwards and is kinda... lopsided, but Danny doesn't care. The kid is dancing around Sara's feet offering all kinds of useful advice. Help me; I am raising a Martha Stewart wannabe.

Good. Everything seems to be claming down here. Danny is happy with his Franken-rabbit-stein; all that's left now is to find the elusive Cameron. He and I are going to have words. The little vandal knows what happened to Eamon, I'm sure of it! That can wait a bit though, I think a cold beer, and a sandwich with Sara and the kids is a plan. It's a beautiful day, and if you ignore the lack of flowers in the flower bed, the backyard is a good as place as any.

TBC…