A/N: YES. I AM BACK. So. It's been a while. I've been crazy busy with College Entrance Tests, balancing schoolwork, my relationship, so I hope you guys can forgive me once again. :( I'm dying under this workload, and trying to barely balance my social life. I promised that sexy, R-Rated chapter though, didn't I? And don't worry, it'll come! Maybe when I finish this? Maybe, maybe. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter for those who have stuck around! PS: I see a lot of you have changed your usernames! I'm sorry I've been gone so long and don't really recognize them anymore, but if you would leave your old one when you review (if you review) I'd really appreciate it! Thank you!

- Nikki/ lostconcoctions

Twenty: Is there such thing as a fourth base?

Sometimes, there were just scenes in your head that you wished would happen, and before you knew it, it was reality. I couldn't remember what made it so surreal in my head, except the fact that it was so real.

I woke up feeling groggy, but well rested. There was a weight on my bed that hadn't been there before, and an enticing smell filling the air. When I opened my eyes, while my insides were hoping, praying it was the silver-haired boy I would constantly dream of, I found that it was instead a tray set at the foot of my bed with a plate of small croissants, fresh bacon, and sunny-side up eggs. Beside it was a tall glass of pulpy orange juice, utensils, a tiny sealed cup of strawberry yogurt, and a folded card. Though my stomach willed me to dig straight into the food, curiosity got the better of me, and I was reaching for the card and reading the words written in perfect cursive.

I'm sorry I can't be here to see you wake up and critique my cooking.

I promise you I did the best I could.

I'll see you later, love

Thinking about you always

- Lysander

I smiled and set the card down, deciding I would frame it later and let it serve as a reminder that he would be thinking about me always while he was gone. Before I knew it, I was digging into the food, and had it all finished in a matter of ten minutes. Honestly, that was the best breakfast I had ever gotten. It was perfect, and tasted absolutely as mouth-watering as it looked and smelled. I grabbed my phone and sent him a quick text, "Seriously, I love you."

I knew Lysander would be busy all day today, so I wasn't surprised when I didn't get an immediate response. After I was done with breakfast and felt like exploding, I hopped out of bed, cleaned up the food, and brought the tray downstairs. Bridgette was clamoring over something in the kitchen. There was a loud, "shit", before I was suddenly rushing over to her, only to find that she had burnt her toast again.

"Seriously, Bridge?" I chuckled, setting the tray from Lysander down at the counter. "Toast?"

"Not just any toast." Bridgette replied with a frown. "French toast." Her curls were styled in a high ponytail on the top of her head, her face looked bright and porcelain perfect, no signs of the grogginess of sleep on her hazel eyes—Bridgette was always lucky like that—but there was a frustrated crease in her brow.

"Let me help." I stepped over beside her, looking at the ingredients set out before us. A new loaf of bread was open, a slice of toast was sitting in a bowl of beat eggs, the nutella jar I've been eating out of was sitting there too, along with knives, and confectionary sugar.

"You can't cook, Skye!" Bridgette snorted.

"Shut up." I waved her off, facing the counter and smiling to myself. "I can't cook, but I can guide you through it. I think."

"How can someone who can't cook teach someone to cook? Please elaborate." Bridgette shook her head.

"Maybe because this someone woke up early to watch dad make his famous French toast in the morning." I climbed up to Indian sit on the counter beside the stove.

"Oh God, those were amazing." Bridge sighed wistfully. "He only could make breakfast food. Remember when he could only make spam in the morning, but when he tried it at dinner, he couldn't do it?"

I burst out laughing, because it was true, and before I knew it I was laughing so hard, not because of what Bridgette said, but because I remembered all the times our dad tried cooking the night and failed. Our dad's culinary skills only kicked in in the morning, and you had to put it to good use before lunch.

"Remember when Mom tried to make his French toast herself though?"

"Ugh that was terrible!" Bridgette grimaced, shaking her head in disgust. I laughed again, and she was laughing too, but instead of the usual light laughter, there was something sad in both our voices, and our resembling eyes. The edge was gone, and instead, there was something fading. It was a drowning feeling in the pit of my stomach that I couldn't ignore. There was a pause, and I broke eye contact first, and the laughter.

"Skye…" Bridgette started, looking at the tiled floors of the kitchen, which to me, was just the kitchen, not our kitchen. And everything was like that to me: the fridge, the couch, the tv…Nothing seemed ours. This house wasn't a home, it was just a place to stay, temporary or permanent, I wasn't sure of the difference anymore. Bridgette's soft voice made her sound much younger than she really was compared to me. "Our family…it's going to be like this forever, isn't it?"

The drowning feeling in my stomach wasn't there anymore. There wasn't a feeling. It was the sad truth settling in that whatever was there had already drowned. I had to turn to my twin sister, and had to nod my head, because it was the truth. "Yes."

"Well," Bridge cleared her throat, "it's not so bad."

"Shut up." I laughed. "You hate it here."

"No, and you don't either." Bridgette shook her head. "You and I both know it, we love Wesgrove. We just—"

"Hate this house." We both finished.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"There's nothing wrong with it…" she continued.

"It's just…"

"There's no…"

We were both fumbling for words that we couldn't say out loud. Because saying means believing, and no one likes to believe in something you can't even admit. But I knew what was there.

How could you go from a house so full of love to one that barely contains people that could love?

Eager to get away from the topic, I cleared my throat and instructed Bridgette on the French toast instead. First, she lathered the bread up in the egg, then threw that onto the pan, then, grabbed the Hershey's syrup that she had forgotten and made a swirly pattern on the toast. We waited for a few seconds before flipping the whole thing over, waiting, then spreading nutella over it and sprinkling confectionary sugar. Bridgette gave me the first bite, before starting on a new one.

"So," she started, throwing in another slice of toast onto the pan. "How are you and Lys?"

"How are you and Nate?"

"Skye…"

"Sorry, sorry." I shrugged my shoulders. Bridgette would crack one day, mark my words. "Um, Lys and I are good, if you wanted to know. He's leaving tomorrow, though."

"Huh. Wow. Well, that sucks. You'll just be with Castiel all break then."

"Probably." I agreed solemnly. Why did some weird part of me know it was going to be the time of my life?

"Just…be careful, Skye." Bridgette warned. I raised my eyebrow.

"Bridge, no need to warn me. I've dated a fair share of guys too, you know." I snickered.

"I know you have, but it's hard to see stuff when you're in a relationship. I'm just giving you an outside perspective." Bridgette replied.

"You are in a relationship."

"We were talking about you, remember? Ha, now, I was just going to say…I don't know. Be careful."

"How so?"

"Just…you and Lys got together so fast, and he's obviously so in love with you, I just…hope you didn't get into the relationship just because of our issues. Family issues."

"Bridgette, are you calling me dependent or something? Lonely?" I asked.

"No. Well, yes. Subconsciously, possibly."

"You don't know that."

"You can't say that you aren't either." She replied.

"Why are you suddenly being so judgmental?" I nearly snapped, facing her. "What if maybe I do love Lysander? What if it's nothing? What if I am sure of myself?"

Bridgette just shrugged her shoulders. "Look, I'm just saying it from my point of view. If you were so sure of yourself, you would've said all that differently."

"W-What?" I blinked. But I knew exactly what she meant.

If I really were sure of everything, I would've said, I do love Lysander. It's nothing. I am sure of myself. There wouldn't be any room for 'what ifs'.

"I can't have everything figured out yet, Bridgette." I said. "But I do love Lys. And that's all I need."

"I hope you're right, Skye. Lys is a good guy."

"You don't have to remind me." I shrugged.

When we had both finished our French toast, I decided to busy myself before seeing Lysander later in the evening. Taking my coat with me, and sliding on another pair of socks over the socks I already had on, I grabbed the phone and walked out the door. I knew that since Lys had a lot on his plate because of Leigh, he wasn't going to come early, so I tried Rosalya. She answered on the fifth ring.

"Hello, hun?"

"I'm bored." I sighed, sinking onto the bench out on our porch. There was snow on the front steps again, and I made a mental note that I would soon forget to sweep it off.

"Oh sweetie, why aren't you spending time with Lysie? It's your last day!"

"It's unfair that you're going with them," I grumbled, "He's busy at the store with yours."

"Hey, not my fault! What do you want me to do about it?"

"Come over?" I said sweetly, buttering up my words with my tone. I hoped she thought of me batting my eyelashes along too.

"I'm packing, sweetheart!" Rosalya replied sadly. "Dinner, I'll take you out. Unless you have plans, of course."

"I don't." I cut in immediately. "Call me."

Then I dropped the phone.

The day felt longer than usual, and I actually wished for school. It was sickening. My hands craved the feel of books, and the mandatory orders to read them at school. For the first time in a long time, I actually lost myself in pages instead of someone's eyes, and hours passed, and I forgot how much I loved reading. It was like seeing an old friend after so long. It was as if I was so focused on devoting my time with Lysander, I forgot what I really loved doing myself. And that fact scared me because I knew it was true. He turned into everything since the pressure of him leaving weighed down my shoulders. Before I knew it, the sky was dark and my stomach was empty. Also, I was still in my pajamas, which was starting to disgust me.

Peeling myself away from the old Nancy Drew books I had spent the entire day with, I hopped off my bedroom floor and headed straight for the shower. The grime and stickiness that had clung to my skin quickly melted off with the hot water shooting down on me. When I was done and the clock flashed exactly 7:34 PM, my whole body felt soft, pink and sensitive from the water. I dressed up in a comfy outfit, a tightly fit gray t-shirt, black tights, and gray socks with a black cat's face on my toes. I threw on a white cotton hoodie with a sewed on Christmas tree in the front, and grabbed my cellphone, which had become moist from being in the bathroom. As I trotted down the stairs and wiped my phone's screen on my hoodie, the doorbell rang, forcing me to quicken my steps, seeing Bridgette had gone off without telling me…again.

When I opened the door for Rosalya, who must have forgotten to call that she was free for dinner, or even that she was coming to pick me up for it too, I was pleasantly surprised by another silver haired face I knew too well. He was standing in the cold, white scarf wrapped tightly around his neck and reaching up to his chin, his gloved hand stuffed conveniently in his black coat pockets. He had on a gray bonnet, that looked much darker in contrast to his nearly stark white locks, and his gleaming eyes were staring at me under hooded lashes. Tucked under his arm, I noticed a thick, dark red quilt, with tasteful patches of patterns sewn onto it, and a paper bag dangling from the hand he kept out of his pocket.

"I snuck out." He said before I could process why he was so early. "I needed more time with you."

Before I could react, my cellphone buzzed in my palm. I cleared my throat and answered, keeping my eyes trained on the boy standing on my porch.

"Hello?" I croaked. My voice sounded dry from being unused all day.

"Sorry hun, I'm not finished packing!" Rosa sighed exasperatedly. "I'm totally sorry, I promise to take you out when I get back from the trip. You can hold me against it if I don't!"

Lysander's lips had curled into a small smile as he stepped closer to me, into the house. I backed up and felt his torso and hips against my own. The small of my back hit the back of my couch, I guessed, I didn't know—my eyes still on his.

"Th-That's too bad, Rosa…" I murmured. "I guess we'll have to…give it a…"

"Rain check." Lysander said, loud enough and close enough for Rosa to hear. He slipped the phone out of my grip and dropped it into my sweater's pocket, then sealed our lips. And I felt like I was drowning again, my eyes starting to slip shut with the firm way he kissed me. My lips responded and captured his over, and over again, before he pried open my mouth with his kiss, then slid his tongue over mine. The movements inside my mouth, and between our bodies was enough to make my knees give in, so I pulled him closer and fell onto the couch, stripping the coat off his back, and the scarf along with it. I pulled away for air, and instead sucked on the warm skin of his tanned neck, while he breathed raggedly into my ear and sending chills through me.

"I…I…" He started, while I didn't stop. "B-Brought…dinner…"

I paused, moving back to look at him. His eyes were closed, but when he noticed that I wasn't kissing him, he opened one golden eye, followed by the emerald one.

"W-Why are you looking at me like that?" He stammered shyly. His cheeks were flushed red, and so were his ears. I just shook my head and chuckled.

"Nothing." I replied. "Let's eat."

From the brown paper bag he was holding, Lysander produced four small cartons of chocolate milk with the attached plastic straws; four grilled cheese sandwiches, still hot and oozing with filling, and a bar of Hershey's chocolate. We set up camp in front of the fireplace, which only needed a switch to flicker on, and wrapped ourselves in cocoons of quilts. We talked and talked, like we always did, like we did from day one, and connected again and again just with our minds and our flickering eyes. I couldn't help but laugh at Lysander's small attempts to be sweet and funny, while he tried to feed me little chunks of chocolate and adding an equally sweet and cheesy punch line to it. I was doubling backwards and clutching my stomach, completely forgetting that I probably had a chocolate milk moustache. When I was done having my laughing stroke, I caught Lysander watching me again with his gleaming eyes. I raised an eyebrow and sat up, crawling closer to snuggle under his arm and against his chest.

"Your laugh is incredibly sexy, Skylar."

I blinked and almost laughed, but then he would've thought I was trying to be sexy so I bit it back and just shook my head. Pulling myself from my spot under his arm, I sat in front of him and looked him straight in the eye.

"You're incredibly sexy, Lysander Callixto Ainsworth. God, even your name turns me on." I couldn't believe the words tumbling my mouth but they just went, and I didn't care. Lysander's mouth fell slightly open, and even the orange light from the fireplace couldn't hide the blush rising from his neck, to his ears, all over his face.

"What have I gotten myself into," He chuckled to himself, not breaking our eye contact. "I love you."

I smiled. "I love you too. Now, come here."

Lysander obeyed, and from then on, everything was out of our control. It wasn't as if we didn't want it. No, that's not what I meant. We lost control in a way that it wasn't us anymore. It wasn't us thinking about it. It was just happening. It was like nature. No one controls, no one thinks, it just happens. He kissed me like it was the most natural thing in the world, he ran his hands from up my thighs, and it felt so real, so easy, like a breeze in the spring, or snow falling in winter. We lost each other to the other, on my living room floor, in front of the fire, with the cool air, under the blankets. His eyes were the color of the sun and the sea, and even when he closed them, when I unbuttoned his dark jeans and shrugged them to his ankles, I could see them, his fucking perfect eyes. I straddled him, and he placed a hand on my hip, my ribs, my neck, my breasts, everywhere, and it was surreal, but also undeniably, my reality. And I never wanted to be touched so much until Lysander did it, and I didn't want him to stop, like he urged me on, and didn't resist one bit when my fingers found the inside of his boxers. He was hard and it was pressing against my thighs. I watched him as I moved my hand, his face, how his mouth fell open and his eyes fluttered. His broad chest, I kissed and kissed, until neither of us could stand it anymore. And as if Lysander knew this was going to happen, he produced a condom, obviously Leigh's and it was on so fast, I barely realized it. It was the next part that was slow. We were both naked, watching each other, swallowing each other in. I blinked and looked at him. His eyes were asking, and my head was nodding. Lysander lowered himself until he was laying flat, and I didn't keep my eyes off his. He steadied me, and I closed my eyes, I knew he was watching. But then it happened. It happened and I had no regrets.

Lysander and I made love that night, lost in sheets and each other's breathing. It was both our firsts, but it was perfect. So perfect. We fell apart into each other, him first, and we didn't say anything, while it happened or even after. We just smiled because we knew. It was beautiful and unexplainable, and unlike anything I had ever experienced, but everything I thought it would be. I loved him, I loved him, I loved him.

It wasn't my conscience saying that to me anymore. It was my heart.

A/N: So? How was that? Let me know! I'd love some reviews, violent reactions, or just a message is fine! I don't bite, thank you! Also, I'm SO SO SO sorry again. I promise I WILL get this story done, no matter how hard and how much time it takes! I will! I promise you that! I'm still here, to all my friends I made writing this! Thank you! Thank you so much for staying onboard, those who have. I promise I'm not done just yet! – Nikki/ lostconcoctions

ANSWERING REVIEWS TIME: I'm sorry I won't be answering Guest reviews anymore! It's too confusing!

1. Kid's And Soul's Girls: God I missed you too! I see you've changed your name too by the way! Hahaha! I'm sorry I've been gone so long, school and personal stuff is really killing me. I don't know when the smut will come, but I promise you it will! Stay tuned and thank you so much for sticking around!

2. ANinjasGirl: I'm alive! Hahaha! Aw I'm sorry I've been absent for the longest time. I've been dying and haven't had much time to write. Thank you so much! Yup, still in love, still happy!

3. Owldistraction: Sex. Well here's some of Lysander being sexy! Hahaha! I'm still suffering from writer's block but look, I'm trying to get out of it, I promise! Well, you tell me if this chapter sways you, castiel or Lysander, eh? Let me know! I'm dying here! And yes, I'm in love and it's so great! I've never told him I liked him, no, I think that wasn't a question anymore hahaha I did tell him I loved him though, because that's what really matters to me! He said it first by the way, I would never make the first move hehehe

4. Spark Firebug- Oh god I know! I've been gone! No I will not discontinue this story, no matter how long it takes me to write! I'm sorry I've been so busy!

5. Kyoichi Amaya- I'M JEALOUS TOO AND SHE'S MY OWN CHARACTER! And I'm in a relationship God, nikki stop it…

6. Joesette- Beautiful as ever, thank you so much!

7. Lazy Hero- I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Let me know what you think of this one though! It's obviously more than the last! Oh gosh I can't believe we were both in Brazil at the same time! Maybe if I had a sign on my head or something that I wrote this… Hahahah! Anyway, urgh my boyfriend is a huge distraction and I'm sorry I let him get in the way of your daily Castiel dosage! I promise to work harder on that!

8. Luvu11- Thank you! I feel so lucky! His name's Justin. Hehehe. I'm sorry I've been away! I hate myself for it, I really do! I promise to work work work and get the next one out as soon as possible! I hope you're still on board with me!

9. Exquisite Sunset- Gosh I just read this review again and pretty much teared up. Thank you so much! I feel so bad now for leaving everyone hanging. I honestly feel terrible, I'm so sorry! I can't even imagine anyone saying that about my writing, but I'm so grateful you did! Now I'm extra motivated to do this right and finish this story! THANK YOU!

10. Saplilpat- Thank you so much! Gosh, I feel like screaming at myself sometimes too because I feel like Skye! Yes, a scene where you probably will hate her will come, maybe. Yes. Hahaha! I'm excited for it! Even if it could cause you to hate me.

11. TheInsaneChick – Yes I went to brazil for World Youth Day! It was amazing! Hahaha! And about my someone…well, actually I've known him since last year, liked him for months, and just found out that hes liked me ever since too! And I've been in love and it's really the best!

12. MorgAna Star – thank you for reviewing on the last one! I think I'm way overdue this time though, I'm so sorry! I hope you're still around to catch this one!

13. Crazysquidgirl – Thanks yo!

14. BadGrasshopper – I'm so sorry I took FOREVER for this! Please still be there! Oh gosh, I can't say whose side I'm on but I've chosen mine too heehee! I'm sorry for the wait, and hope you can reattach yourself which my characters again!

15. Wonderlandsmadness01- HELLO! I'm so sorry, please leave that lengthy review! I promise you I'm going to work my ass of for this story once I'm free from school work!

16. Avalyn – It's here! Enjoy!

I can't even express how sorry I am for the wait, you guys. I really am. I've probably lost a lot of readers too, but it's the price I pay. I'm extremely sorry and hope I can make it up to you all soon! Love you all, and thank you for the support!

See you in the next chapter!

Love Nikki/lostconcoctions