POISON-CHAN GOT OVER 3,000 WORDS ON THIS CHAP!!! :D She happy. And she would have updated soon but the day after I posted chap 20 She found out her cat Sammie who she loved very VERY much had to be put down since he had FIP. ;3; She couldn't stop crying long enough to write. Then Sam was put down and a new kitten appeared so she was happy. Happy enough to talk in third person. XD Anyways, hope you like!!
What The?
Chappie 21
Lions, tigers, midgets oh my!
Disclaimer; I do not own anything but my favorite crazy girls Kylie and Dylan. I luffers then alot...
along with Hiei!!
"Dilly…"
"Yes Kay-Kay?"
"…Are we still in Candy Mountain?"
Kylie clung to the princess looking Dylan as the weird and creepy trees swayed side to side. A few of them glowing strange colors. Dylan found it magical while Kylie just wanted to scream and run back to Dylan's mansion and hide under Dylan's bed with the stuffed animal army. Pushing off the clinging brown haired girl, Dylan bravely stepped forward in her princess dress. "Wha way we go to Philip?"
Kylie stared at moment in awe of her best friend and her stupidity and bravery. "Lets go…" "RIGHT!!!" She screamed loudly while pulling Kylie's potato sack outfit, forcing her along. Only…Hiei and them went left.
WITH THE BOYS!!
"We are as lost as Dylan gets in a box." Yusuke commented as he kicked a tree. It growled at him. Kurama sighed in agreement as he sat on a rock that started to wiggle. "Yes, I believe we are…also…is it just me or do you have a bad feeling that involves our crazy friend?" Hiei was silent as Kuwabara and Yusuke nodded their heads. A purple glow was happening under the wrappings on his forehead. "Hiei? Are you checking on Dylan?" "Hn." Kurama smiled.
They were silent for a few moment as Hiei searched every corner of Dylan's and his home, not finding a trace of the girl other then the ripped sheets and curtains. Maybe they were out terrorizing the city since it was Halloween as they called it. They had mentioned that they had to go door-to-door to gain candy and sweets. He started searching the city. Yusuke and Kuwabara were fighting over were they would head next when Kurama gave his idea. "Lets split up. We could cover more ground that way."
Hiei snapped out of his focus at hearing this. It was true, the mission would end sooner that way. Though why he wanted it to end sooner then he normally would was beyond him. Though we all known Its because of the Aqua haired annoying girl we all love and know as our heroine right? ANYWAYS!!
Deciding that Kurama's idea was the best(Damn smart people!) they split up. Kurama heading straight, Hiei right, Yusuke left, and Kuwabara went the way they came.
WITH THE CRAZIES!!
"Hey hey hey… lets play a game!" Kylie yelled happily at Dylan. Dylan grinned and nodded her head, the tiara falling forward over her eyes. "Wha game?" "Role-play game!! I'll be the slave, you be the princess okay?" Dylan gasped at the brilliance of this idea of a game as she nodded violently. The princess tiara falling off. "But…I'm not a princess."
Kylies happy face disappeared as she began thinking. "Hmm…good point…" "Wait!!" Kylie stared, waiting for Dylan to continue speaking, " Wha if…we PRETENDED?!?!" It was moments like this that people wondered how they were able to get dressed in the mornings or not kill themselves with a piece of paper. Those people were everyone that knew them. Kylie grinned as she clapped her hands together. "Okay!!! I'm your slave now." She commented as she started to crawl on her hands and knees while Dylan stood up from the grass.
Making their way past talking trees, wiggling and singing, they appeared in another clearing. Dylan sat down. "I'm tiiirreeeddd. Kylie, gimme my bag of treats." Kylie nodded as she handed over the pillow cover filled to the brim with odd and weird things. Digging for ten minutes, she produced a large bottle of Mello Yellow someone had given her. The aqua haired girl then took out a small bowl with the picture of a old couple on the inside and poured some soda in it for Kylie. Acting like a dog, Kylie slurped up the soda as Dylan chugged the two liter bottle. As soon as the bottle was empty and the bowl licked clean, Dylan decided to have a conversation with the talking rock that wiggled next to her.
"Hello Mister pebble."
"Hello there!! Why how are you miss fair?"
"Okay. I'm looking for my Philip and friends. Have you seen them?"
The rock paused its wiggling in thought.
"I have seen far, I have seen near. But what you are searching for comes with fear."
Kylie whispered into Dylan's ear. "Is it just me or is the turtle rhyming?" Dylan shrugged.
"Wha you mean mister pebble?"
"The forces are coming, they want you dead, for your appearance is that of what they dread."
"Eh? Wha you mean Willace?"
"Princess you are, am I wrong? They had lost the one who sang a song."
"Song? I LIKE SONGS!!" Kylie screamed. Dylan covered hr mouth with duct tape from her bag,
"Go on…"
"She ran away, away, and far away. They had been searching for all of this day. She be hiding in a cave that will only moan, hiding from the people that own. I suggest you run as well, before they catch you the moment you fell."
"…So…what are you saying?"
"You are in danger I am saying, I can sense them near from where we are laying. Run quick, run fast! Before they hold you hostage in the spell they cast!"
Kylie and Dylan stared at the rock before looking at each other. They decided the rock was creepy and started to crawl away from it. The tape on Kylies mouth making her words sound funny. "Mphh fft psht." "I know right? I didn't understand a thing he said either. I think he was talking in rockese." "mmmhheh negigigigigigigee." "You are so right! But what does that mean?" "Mhhehn." "True. Okay so where we go?" "M-" "LEFT!!"
So their hike continued on past trees that whispered as they pasted and one slapping Kylie on the butt. Kylie screamed and hide behind Dylan who threw silly putty from her Bag at the tree. The silly putty melted into purple goo. A moment later, Dylan was dragged away by Kylie after trying to lick the tree.
Ten minutes, turned to twelve, five, then Q. The watch our favorite aqua haired girl had drew on her wrist was broken again. Dylan groaned as she leaned on Kylie, who was laying on the ground tired from dragging her friend. "Where is my Philip?!"
With da normals.
Yusuke was busy cussing out a talking sunflower that only said 'Nyaaaa" in naughty naughty ways. Kuwabara was sleeping peacefully in a field of poison ivy roses, content with having to do nothing at the moment though the itching feeling on his skin was starting to get to him….then we have Kurama. Who had appeared in a small clearing with a empty Mello Yellow bottle laying next to a strange and creepy bowl. The bowl alone was enough to know Dylan and or Kylie was involved but the empty bottle of soda gave a time line. From five minutes ago to the moment they left the human world.
He sighed as he gracefully swayed his hips- oops. Wrong fanfic. Kurama picked up the two items after cursing at the writer who was giggling evilly. Pocketing the Items, he decided to continue on, sending a mental message to Hiei. 'I have evidence that Dylan and Kylie are here. There's no telling what they could screw up.'
Hiei nodded in reply to the message he had received before looking back at the talking and wiggling rock. He had some how walked in a circle and appeared here again. Only it was a good thing.
"Alright, so say that again."
"The two were here but now they are not, into the forest where their future is sought."
"Must you speak in rhyme?"
"It is a curse I'm sad to say, for it were It to be gone it would be another day."
Hiei was silent for a moment before pointing to the right. "That way?"
The wiggling rock sighed. "Yea man. That way." Following the way the rock had told him to go, Hiei passed a large and slightly suspicious cave where a pink kimono sleeve was easily spotted. Pulling the sleeve violently from behind the rock, a loud squeal entered his ears. He had heard worse from Dylan so he was unaffected. Long waist length gold hair framed with many many layers around her face appeared. Her golden eyes lined with thick black that was anything but natural as the pointed ears she had stuck out from her head. The girl gasped as she covered her mouth with her other sleeve. "Oh my…" She spoke in a flirty way. Hiei ignored it.
"You the princess?" The princess smiled as her eyelashes lowered to look seductive. "Why yes. Are you my prince here to save me and give me child to bare?"
More a moment, the fire demon thought of a monk off of a show Dylan mentioned a couple of times. His most famous line she loved to repeat to random people, men or women was about asking women to bare his children. This reminded him of that moment. Hiei glared at the thought. Great, now things reminded him of the damn girl!!
Noticing the other frown, the princess frowned as well. He wasn't falling for her?! Everyone falls for her!! She growled mentally before flipping her long hair over her shoulder. "Why is it we are still here if you have saved me?" Hiei just narrowed his eyes at the blonde princess. "Hn." She gasped. "Hey!! That's now how you treat a princess!! But for you…you can call me Sakura." She smiled once more. She was also ignored once more as the midget man walked away from her, hoping he would find Dylan and the others soon so they could leave. If he thought Dylan was annoying…Wait…she was but only in a crazier way.
A half hour passed before the princess decided she was tired and they should rest. Hiei Hned her and jumped into a tree, looking around for Dylan. The tree shook him off. Damn tree. Grrr you. The princess looked over Hiei before smirking and walking towards him with a plan in her mind.
With our idiots.
"I WIN AGAIN!!!"
A group of large ogres groaned as the small girl pulled the rock money into her large pile. They had been playing Texas Hold' em for the last hour with the 'princess' winning every time. The blue ogre of the group scratched your head. "I could have sworn you had looked different before…" Dylan shrugged and chugged a rock at him. "Hush Pedro! You in or out?"
Now, some of you may be confuzzled as to where Dylan is, why are there ogres, why are they so stupid, where is Kylie, since when could Dylan play poker? Here are the answers you seek.
Dylan was in a secret cave that was hidden by magic so it looked like part of the mountain the cave was carved in. The ogres are stupid evil henchmen working for a evil evil man who kidnapped the real princess and the ogres where to make sure she didn't escape…again…this time…once more…that's why they are stupid. Kylie was busy sniffing a tree ten feet from the cave and lifting her leg like a dog would. And Dylan…you don't wanna know the poker story. Nope. Sorry. Not a change…stop begging…NO!! Okay fine. She was really playing goldfish but somehow she was winning when she had three pairs.
Now that that is explained. We are in need of a flashback..
FLASHBACK BABY!!!
Skipping in a field of beautiful flowers of all colors, the two girls held hands as if it were a commercial. Just to make it more realistic, Dylan swayed her head back in forth to get her hair to do that SWOSH thing. They had skipped ten minutes doing this and were getting bored. "Dylan…its hot out heereee." Kylie complained as Dylan stopped her SWOSHing. "Yea your right…HEY!! Is that a cave I see?!"
Dylan pointed at a mountain wall. Kylie stared. She saw no cave but it seemed Dylan did. She ran face first into the wall and went through. Kylie screamed. Her best friend just did a magic trick!!! Deciding to join her friend, she copied her and ran into the wall. Only she didn't get through. She growled at the wall as Dylan popped her head out. "Hey, why aren't you in here?" Kylie pouted.
"I DUNNOOOOO!!!!" Only, bad for Dylan the ogres had hear Kylie yelling and saw the Princess Dylan. They thought she had came back. "PRINCESS!!"
Dylan turned around and looked at the five large demons and stared. "Hey…I can see up your noses….eeww…I think I see a hobbit…" She muttered softly as she stared. Kylie just looked at the plain mountain wall. Back with the people on the inside, The blue ogre Dylan quickly named Pedro picked her up by the back of her dress. "Why you look different? You can't use magic in heres…" Dylan stared before screaming. "RAPE!!!" The ogres had no idea what she was talking about. They ignored her as they looked her over in cause she had gotten hurt from being out on her own. She was fine. Putting her on her feet again, Dylan quickly stuck her head out the wall. "Kylie!! I'm being Kidnapped and maybe raped!! Get Philip!!!"
Kylie saluted as she ran off with her mission in mind. Being pulled from the wall, Dylan looked up at the five before grinning and taking out a deck of cards. "Anyone know how to play Poker?"
END FLASHYBACK!!!
Being reminded of her mission again, kylie gasped and took off running, only to run head first into Kurama. Wonder boy caught the freaking out girl and shook her calm. "Kylie!! What is it?" Kylie gasped like a fish for a moment before pointing behind her at the mountain, pulling Kurama from his confused look on why Kylie looked like she had been rolling in Mud with Dylan again and wearing a potato sack. "Dylan!! She she she she she she she she she she she she she she she…..Umm…I forgot…" Kurama sweat dropped at the crazy girl mark two. Well…he found one of two crazies and most likely Hiei had found Dylan by now. Pushing Kylie by the small of her back, he directed her in the direction Hiei's energy could be found. Along with a bright golden one….
Hiei's eye twitched as the Princess tried slowly bending over to check her ankle after tripping. The sight was slightly disturbing since she was trying so damn hard. Her short pink kimono rode up and showed smooth fan skin and the curve of her ass. Sakura smirked as she pretended to test her ankle. If this didn't work, the man had to be gay. Looking over her shoulder, she gaped at the fact Hiei was looking at a rock with more interest then he had when she first bent over. Which was none. Fuming, she stood up and turned to glared. "Are you gay?" The question threw Hiei off guard for a moment. It reminded him of the first few chapters of this story when Dylan accused him and Kurama the same thing.
Opening his mouth to reject the idea when a laugh was behind him. "No, his crazy girlfriend is proof he is not gay." Hiei glared at Kurama who smiled even as Kylie clung to his arm, smearing mud and dirt on his pink shirt. "Hn. And from how that filthy creature is clinging to you I would say she was your mate." A bright red blush appeared on Kurama's face as Kylie looked confused. "mate…like like the British thing for friend?" Kurama smiled smugly at Hiei before turning to the brown mopped girl. "Yes that's it exactly." Hiei ignored the two before looking at Princess Sakura. He didn't notice he had never denied the statement on him and Dylan dating. But Sakura remembered. "You have a girlfriend and yet you let me flirt with you?! Uh! Well, I normally hate men like that but I'll give you a second chance with me. Dump the girl and come with me. I can promise you I'm much better at…certain things." A coy smiled appeared on the girls lips. Kurama was surprised how straightforward she was, Hiei was ignoring her and Kylie was gagging. That's when she remembered something very important.
"OH MY GODZILLA!!! DYLAN IS BEING RAPED BY HER KIDNAPPERS RIGHT NOW!!!" This got everyone's attention. Hiei froze for a moment before shaking the girl violently like Kurama had before. "Where?" "At the mountain!! Dylan walked into it was was kidnapped!!" Sakura snorted at this. "Looks like your little girlfriend has the gift to see and pass through magic. She's most likely dead right now since she's obviously not me. The princess here." Insert preppy hair flip here. Kylie blinked once. Twice. Seven times. "…That was wha Dylan's Halloween costume was. A princess." Hiei and Kurama both cursed as they each picked up a girl and started running to where Kylie and Kurama had come from. A few moments passed before they appeared at the area. They looked around confused except Sakura. 'Its right in from of you. Because you don't have royal blood you can't see or pass through." Hiei growled. "How do we get her out then?" Kurama thought for a moment before shrugging. "Well…we could always do this."
With that said, Kurama put down the squirming Kylie and took a random Pepsi from her bag and opened it. Not a moment later, Dylan came running out and tackled the redhead wonder boy and saved the soda from spilling. "MY LOVE!! REUNITED AND IF FEELS SO GOOOOOOOD!" She sang happily as she chugged the bubbly drink. Dropping the real princess, Hiei stared at Dylan and her own princess look. She actually pulled off the look. And maybe he was starting to go stupid and crazy from being around all these idiot but she looked…hot… Hiei quickly shook away the thought before glaring at the aqua haired girl. "Do no go into random caves Baka Onna! In fact, why the hell are you here?!" Dylan returned the glare and crossed her arms. "Because it was boring without Philip!" "Do not call me that ridiculous name!" "PHILIP!!" Sakura, Kurama, and Kylie watched the lovers quarrel as a masked figured did as well.
SUDDENLY!! The figure jumped out and picked up the now biting on Hiei's arm Dylan and threw her over his shoulder. "The princess is MINE!!" He ran into the Cave. Kurama stared before shaking his head. "Only in one of Poison-chans stories would this shit happen…" In the real world, Poison glared and threw a empty Pepsi can at the screen. Back with the group. Hiei was trying to cut through the barrier while Sakura smirked. "It wont work. Just give up on her. Besides, she's not that good looking compared to me." The group glared. Sakura shut up. Kylie looked at the now beyond mad fire demon before getting a idea she stole. "Hey!! I want soda!!" She smiled before cracking open a Pepsi. ZOOM!! Dylan appeared again and tackled. Kylie screamed. The man from before appeared and started to pick up Dylan when he was threw against a tree by Hiei.
"Do. Not. Touch her." The man's lip quivered. "But…the princess is my true love…though with the new dress, hair and eyes not to mention she is so crazy now…I'm not so sure…" Dylan looked up from the bag of everything with a pop tart in her mouth and pointing at the real princess who was filing her nails. "Vu ven verr?" Crumbs flew everywhere. The man looked over at the princess and gasped. There she was! The original princess he loved!! "PRINCESS SAKURA!!" The blonde looked up and gasped. What the hell is with her and gasping anyways? Oh wait…that's how I write it…damn. Anyways, Tears appeared on her cheeks as she realized who it was. It was the demon egg farm boy Mic-Coolio who she had fallen in love with 236 years ago. He was ALIVE!! Pushing Hiei away from the love of her life, she sobbed into his chest. "but I was sure my father killed you when he had pushed you into the volcano that midsummer's eve night!" Coolio laughed. "No. he had killed my evil twin brother. For I am the real one." The two smiled as Soap Opera music filled the air.
Kurama and Hiei watched with faded interest before talking about when they could go home. Dylan and kylie on the other hand were living off of this stuff, shoving popcorn into their mouths as the couple leaned forward to kiss. The two awed at the perfect moment appeared. Kylie nudged the aqua haired girl. "Why. Why haven't you and Philip had a moment like that?" Dylan grinned. "Because his can not show his emotions in fear of rejection my dear dear stupid friend." Lucky for her, Hiei wasn't listening to her at the moment. Kylie nodded as if she understood before shoving the popcorn and a few other things from the forest floor into their bags. "Can we go home now? Kylie and I have to go through I candy!!" Dylan grinned evilly as she pulled out a baseball bat someone had given her. The others winced at the ideas of what the girl could do before Kurama pulled the bat away and Hiei hit her gently on the top of her head muttering a No bats for you. Dylan pouted as the portal appeared before grinning and pulling Hiei inside with her. "TWINKIES!!"
This is were our happy ending…well….ends!!! Until the next chappie that is.
BACK IN THE FOREST!!
Yusuke and Kuwabara yelled out into the dark forest alone. "Hello?! Hiei?! Kurama?! We gonna go home now!!" A small chuckled appear from a figure wiggling on the ground.
"Hello hello, my dear dear pets. I have a game for your life…any bets?"
"…checkers?"
"….yes?" The two screamed.
So…many…references. XD I mentioned so many things so many times. I even mentioned a few parts from past chapters!! Hmm now…Sakura was based on this one girl I know so that's why she acts like that only without saying Like every few seconds. O-o Oh and I told you think chap would be over 3000 words!! In facts its 4000!! WOOOOT! Hehehe. I hope you all enjoy and thank you everyone who gave me comments that really cheered me up again!! I love you all so much!!!! With power from DOOM; Poison-Chan!!!