Stef sat on the balcony, it become her calm space. She sat in her chair facing out to the ocean. Her feet resting on the bar near the glass, her book balanced on her lap. A glass of ice cold juice in her hand as her glasses balanced on the end of her nose. She was lost in her book.

Lena sat at the kitchen island, papers in front of her that she was marking for her second-year students. She looked up and looked at Stef, for the first time in a few days Stef was calm. It had been so hard for her. She'd not known what to do. Stef had had moments where she'd melt completely. Lena had taken to holding her, trying to make sure she was calm.

Lena marked a couple more papers, before she got up and joined Stef, bring her glass of water with her. she sat on the other chair, pulling on her sunglasses.
Stef absently reached out and for the first time linked her fingers to Lena. Lena looked down at their entwined fingers.

"Thank you," Stef almost whispered.

"Why are you thanking me?" Lena asked as Stef put her drink down removed her glasses and put them and her book to one side.

"It sounds silly but just for being here with me." Stef said, her voice was soft.

Lena looked at her lover.

"I know it's been hard the last few days. Since you go that letter and phone call but it doesn't change the way I feel about you. I've seen your nightmares, I've seen your fears and I love you for and with them not in spite of them."

"You always know what to say," Stef smiled.

Lena grinned at her.

"Not always." Lena admitted. She ran her thumb over the back of Stef's hand.

She had noticed that Stef craved the little interactions. The touches, the small kisses. She enjoyed physical affection as she hadn't had that with Ella.

Stef turned and looked out at the ocean. The one thing she had fallen in love with about this apartment was the view. it calmed her.

Lena watched her for a few moments.

"Would you like to go out for dinner?" Lena asked.

"Erm, what?"

"You know dress up, going to a nice restaurant, eat to much food. Come home, and chill out." Lena said.

"I'd…erm…" Stef stumbled over her words. Ella never let her out she would go out with her friends.

"Baby it's a date, we go out. enjoy a meal. Have fun." Lena said, turning her body

"Okay, I would like that."

"Let me call my favourite place. I want to treat you," Lena smiled getting up. she went to get her cell.

Stef watched her. she smiled. she'd forgotten that she was in a loving relationship. She wanted to enjoy this. she could hear Lena on the phone booking them a table. She got up and smiled. Lena seemed happy,

Lena pulled the car to the curb outside a lovely restaurant. Stef looked around as a man came to park the car for them. they got out and Stef walked around the car and stood looking at the posh restaurant she felt under dressed. She was wearing jean, a red, white and blue plaid shirt and a blazer.

She looked up as Lena came and took her hand. Lena looked stunning in her dress and heels. Lena could wear anything. She looked stunning.

"I think I'm underdressed." Stef whispered. If this had happened in the past she wouldn't have been aloud out or even would have been beaten.

"You're fine my love." Lena said softly.

They walked into the restaurant and a young man looked at them.

"Good Evening, do you have a reservation?" he asked, looking at them.

"We do, table for two at 6.30 under the name of Lena Adams."

The young man checked his iPad and smiled. he picked up two menu's.

"This way please,"

They followed him into the restaurant, they head outside, to a private table in the corner. They both sat down and he gave them their menu's.

"Can I get you any drinks?"

"Erm." Stef looked confused she'd never been here before. She looked confused.

"Can we have a minute please," Lena said slowly.

"Sure, your special menus are there." he said, before leaving them.

Stef looked at Lena.

"You're really not used to this are you?" Lena asked slowly.

"No," Stef said honestly. She removed her jacket putting it onto the back off of the seat.

"Here is the drinks menu," Lena passed it too her.

Stef looked at it, flipping through it. she hadn't really drank a lot. Ella wouldn't buy wine for home. As she was reading with her glasses on, the waiter returned with a jug of iced water. Lena poured them both a glass. Before leaving again.

"Do you see anything?"

"I'm not sure," Stef said honestly. This was all still new to her.

Lena smiled.

"We can get a bottle of house white, if you don't want to drink it you can order a soda or something." Lena offered.

Stef smiled. She couldn't believe how patient and how good Lena was with her. She never wanted to let her go.

"That would be great. Thank you,"

"It's a pleasure have a look at the menu." Lena smiled as the waiter came back. Lena ordered their drinks and a mix starter, for Stef to have many tasters.

Stef choose her dinner and Lena hers. Their starters arrived, and they had tasters of most stuff on the starter menu. They eat together, with Lena explained what most of the food was. Stef loved it. the whole dinner she enjoyed. She drank wine. Eat too much food and laughed and joked with Lena, forgetting about the world and Ella.

Stef lay on the sofa. her arm over her eyes. Lena looked at her as she brought her a bottle of water

"How was your evening baby?" Lena asked sitting on the wooden floor next to Stef.

"I've really enjoyed myself." Stef said, she moved her arm and Lena saw tears in her arms.

"Honey? What is it?" Lena asked, sitting on her knee.

"I'm just emotional." Stef admitted as tears ran down her face.

"Why baby?" Lena asked, running her fingers through Stef's short hair. "Talk to me."

"You treat me so well. She walked all over me. she made me so small. She controlled so much of my life. I never thought I'd be with someone who would be so good to me. tonight you took tie to show me different foods, wine, and you didn't rush me. When I asked questions you didn't get angry with me. you simply answered the question." Stef took a deep breath, looking at her woman. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Lena said reaching over and taking Stef into her arms, holding her close. Lena knew that Stef was still learning to be in a normal relationship. She held her for a long time, while Stef cried. She needed the emotional release.

Blog name: Better_Version

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New Post: Feeling emotional

First, when I was emotional when I was El I would lock myself in the bathroom. It was the one room in our apartment that had a lock on the door and it was a safe space for me. she broke the lock but I could see get it to work.

Tonight I had an emotional moment in my living room and L was here.

She took me out for a meal. Something El would never have done. she let me taste so much food and I've even had wine for the first time in years. We laughed and joked. She made me fee loved and safe.

When we got back to my apartment. I lay on my sofa and for some reason started crying.

Now if this had happened around El she would have kicked and punched and variably abused me.

That's NOT what happened here.

L sat on the floor, which is wooden and must have hurt her but she spoke to me and held me. she let me have my emotional break down and I felt safe to be there.

L gave me as much time as possible. she held me.

Right now she's sleeping beside me.

Her hand resting on my leg as she sleeps.

I am starting to enjoy her physical affection. It's so different to the physical abuse I've been used too.

I'm so in love but at the same time. I'm scared of messing things up. I don't want to lose her.