Chapter 21 (Meanwhile…)
~oOo~
The elevator door slid closed behind Kyoya and Haruhi, leaving five guys feeling oddly bereft. "They'll be back," Hikaru said to comfort his brother and the mushrooming Tamaki, "as soon as they realize they can't get through the lobby."
"They'll get through the lobby," Mori said.
The twins looked over at him. "You don't realize what the paparazzi can be like."
"No one will get within 20 feet of them," Mori said.
The twins clearly didn't believe him but Mori declined to elaborate further.
Honey gave them a funny look. "Takashi is right, I'm not impressed by that 'B' team that Kyo-chan assigned to Haru-chan, but Tachibana-san and his group were trained in martial arts by the Haninozuka and in security by the Morinozuka. They're as good as they get. Even Sato-chan and Chika-chan would have a hard time getting past them... "
"Also, I told the MI5 guys we were training yesterday their homework assignment was to keep the reporters away from the new 'Hitachiin Girl' for 24 hours," Mori added.
"When did you do that?" The twins demanded in unison.
"When Kyo-chan handed us his phone," Honey piped up.
Tamaki's mushrooms were overflowing the couch and spreading across the room. "Why does everyone get to follow them except us?"
There was a profound moment of silence in the room.
"Going out to breakfast does sound like a date to me..." said Hikaru.
"Definitely a date," agreed Kaoru.
"You know, Takashi," Honey said, "it wouldn't be a very good homework assignment if no one was there to grade it."
"Hn," agreed Mori.
~oOo~
The lights in the briefing room dimmed ever so slightly, focusing attention on Colonel Robert Miles at the front podium. "Listen up team, we have an unscheduled exercise to test our ability to adapt quickly to situations for which we have no advanced warning. This is a graded exercise and we will be evaluated on it." He flashed an image of a young woman with brown hair and enormous chocolate eyes up on the screen behind him. "This is our principal: 'the Hitachiin Girl' a.k.a. Haruhi Fujioka. Seventeen year old Asian female." He put up the pajama shopping photo. "Approximately 16 hours ago, she was photographed with teen idol Hikaru Hitachiin …"
"My daughter says that's Kaoru," called a voice from the back of the room.
"Hikaru, possibly Kaoru, Hitachiin," the colonel allowed. "Because she was heretofore unknown, the media has gone into overdrive. They will be everywhere. For the purposes of this simulation, we are to regard the media as potential assassins, their cameras as weapons and our principal as their target." There were scattered chuckles around the room. "If they speak to her directly, that is scored as a kill. Every photo uploaded to the internet counts as a wounding shot. Five wounding shots count as a kill. Potential complication: The principal will likely be found in the company of this man." Col. Miles flicked another image up onto the screen. "Kyoya Ootori, youngest son of Japanese billionaire Yoshio Ootori, and as such he has 24/7 security. Their primary is not your problem. The media can photograph and harass him to their hearts' content. However," he flicked a picture of Team Kyoya up onto the screen.
"Jesus Christ, is that Seizaburo Tachibana?" said one.
"What the hell is he doing guarding a teenager? That man has done high-risk extractions and presidential details," said another.
"Ootori pays better," the colonel said dryly. "Although it's worth noting that Ootori must value his youngest son very highly. Nobody else in the family has this caliber security. Not even himself." He shuffled his papers. "Now, because the best intelligence services go undetected, neither the principle nor the media are to know what we are up to. If we are spotted by anybody, we will be deducted two points for each incident. And we will be deducted five points if we have to make open contact with Tachibana in order to complete the mission."
"So we are starting off with a five point penalty then," one of the men said.
~oOo~
"You sure they're in there?" Tamaki asked in the lobby outside the dining room.
"Well, their cell phones are both in there," Kaoru said. "And it's kind of a pricey restaurant so if they got pickpocketed, Kyoya lost his wallet too."
They surreptitiously leaned around the doorframe. "I don't see them," Tamaki said.
A voice wafted around the corner. "Oh my God, are you the Hitachiin Girl?"
"It hurts that you don't have faith in us," the twins said.
.
Whitby's eyes darted around the lobby. "Primary located, three hostiles in the lobby." Through his earpiece, he could hear Burke's response. "One more at the window."
"How could you possibly break Kaoru's heart like that?"
People in the dining room began to look up.
"Wait, are we responsible for just the professionals or do we have to deal with every idiot with a smart phone and a YouTube account?"
"It was Hikaru's heart..."
"Shit. Jam the building," the colonel ordered.
.
"Huh," Kaoru said. "The connection just went dead."
.
Tachibana tensed when his earpiece went to static. He and his team had military grade equipment; better than most militaries, actually. It never simply failed. He made eye contact with Hotta, who tapped his ear with his index finger exactly once before turning to scan the room for threats. Aijima gave him a questioning frown and sharp nod towards the window where a shadow dropped suddenly from sight. Tachibana unbuttoned his suit coat, just in case.
.
Burke decided to take the one at the window first; for one thing, he was a clear threat; for another, you were less apt to get in trouble than if you took down a civilian who wasn't actually involved. He quietly came up behind the photographer, wrapped one arm around the man's neck pressing the carotid artery until the man dropped like a stone. After making sure the photographer was unharmed, he did a quick check to make sure the camera had no internet capability then took the memory card, erased the buffer and pulled the batteries for good measure. He'd mail them back tomorrow. "Window clear," he said.
Three in the lobby and just himself, thought Whitby. He needed to even the odds. The reporter and one of the photographers were by a pillar in the lobby, planning their attack. Whitby sidled up to the far side of the pillar back to back with them, turned off his earpiece and said "The duchess and prince made it through the lobby without incident. Are the body doubles in place in case they need to go out later?"
The reporter spun around in time to see the elevator door close on a slender woman in a tailored linen suit. His head whipped back and forth, torn between the celebrity of the moment and royalty, then he and the photographer headed off in the direction of the elevator. It wasn't really the Duchess of Cambridge of course; some poor woman was about to find the media camped outside her hotel room for no reason. But who knew? Maybe she'd get a kick out of it. He switched his earpiece back on. "One left in the lobby."
.
No matter how well rehearsed, you didn't shut down your own communications unless you really had no option. Tachibana set his ear piece to scan for open channels.
.
Because the maître d' was still dealing with the problem customer, the pouty waitress headed up to the front of the restaurant to help with the group that just arrived. "Welcome and good morning," she said. "How many in your pa – – ah!" Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped.
The twins each put a finger to their lips. "Shhh," they said. "That girl over there, she's just a little bit crazy."
"Yeah, I knew she was trouble the minute she started talking," the waitress nodded avidly.
"Is there like a quiet table in the corner where it'd be hard for anyone to see us?" Hikaru asked.
"Preferably one where we could see her coming?" Kaoru added on.
The waitress nodded. "I can even take you in through the kitchen so that girl can't see you pass through the dining room."
"Our fans are the best," the twins both said in the direction of Tamaki but for the waitress's benefit.
Work in the kitchen slowed as five very handsome young men entered. Only four of them made it through. The short blond moved slower and slower as he passed the pastry chef's area and finally he stopped. Mori's hand reached back and grabbed Honey's collar pulling him forward, but not before he somehow acquired a tray and fifteen samples including an entire tres leches cake. It made their exit from the kitchen not entirely stealthy. Though neither Honey nor Mori were the ones the media and fan girls were looking for, there was someone who noticed them. "The schoolmaster is in the house," Burke informed the others.
.
The static on Tachibana's earpiece abruptly ceased and a clear voice came through. "The schoolmaster is in the house." He quickly scanned the room. The only sight of interest was Morinozuka-san dragging Haninozuka-san and a tray of sweets to a table tucked discreetly into the corner. In and of itself, there was nothing unusual about that but he knew where those two had gone yesterday.
"Then keep sharp people. But the mission is still the same," answered back a voice from the past.
Tachibana gave a sideways smile. "So tell me Miles, what's it feel like being schooled by a 19 year old?"
A hush fell across the line as they realized there was an unauthorized user on the channel.
"Tachibana-san!" The colonel answered genially. "Well damn, I just lost five points. How'd you tap our channel?"
"Stay away from my primary," Tachibana said, ignoring the question.
"Not after your primary."
There was a pause. "My secondary?"
"If you mean the cute little brunette, we're on the same side this time."
"You'll forgive me if I don't find that comforting," Tachibana said dryly.
"Hey, I made you no promises in Jakarta."
"I beg to differ. You promised me a beer if I didn't roll over on you."
"I'll buy you that beer after we get off tonight."
"You'll buy me two. After ten years, there's interest on that debt."
Another voice came on the line. "I hate to break up the reunion colonel, but the first picture is up."
"How did they get around our jamming?" Colonel Miles asked.
"I have no idea sir."
"Physically," Tachibana said. "He walked outside the building to post it when the signal in here went dead. If your men didn't see him go, they deserve to be schooled by a nineteen year old."
~oOo~
The five hosts clustered in the great court of the museum. "Seriously?" Hikaru said. "London is one of the coolest cities in the planet and he takes her to a building full of carved rocks?"
Three of the five gave him withering looks. "He's like a leaf that doesn't know it's part of a tree," said Mori.
"There are people who like carved rocks, you know," Tamaki added.
"I'm just saying this city has music, theatre..."
"...the Rosetta Stone..."
"...the Rosetta Stone..." Hikaru said, echoing Haruhi's exclamation from around the corner.
"Hey, there's a new photo up," Kaoru interjected. They all looked. Haruhi and Kyoya at breakfast, taken right after Haruhi had admitted she didn't know what to do, her eyes downcast and uncertain as Kyoya leaned forward to lay out her options. The caption read "Is this the other man?" The photo was accompanied by the obligatory fan girl commentary.
Luv-4-2: That's what she prefers to Kaoru?
Hot4Hika: She's not in love with him. She's barely even looking at him.
HitchiiFan: I don't see it myself.
SweetK: I dunno. He's kinda cute.
The next fifteen posts should probably have been edited.
"They've started a poll whether she should end up with us or him..."
"It's not a fair poll," Mori said. "It's your fan website. It's a foregone conclusion you'll win."
"Who should the Hitachiin Girl date?" Honey read aloud. "Hikaru, Kaoru, both of them, the other guy."
" 'Both of them'?" Tamaki screeched. "Your fans are as perverted as you are!"
.
Tachibana was getting a headache. While it should have been helpful to have five MI5 agents in the vicinity, they weren't under his control. And he didn't know them. He vaguely recognized Whitby, but the only one he really knew was Bob Miles who was not physically on site and who, when push came to shove, had left him hanging in Jakarta twelve years ago. Given Miles's mission and the package he was transporting, Tachibana didn't blame him, but it had been damned inconvenient and showed a want of character on Miles's part. Then Miles has gotten married and transferred to domestic security and Tachibana had gone private for much the same reason. They hadn't kept in touch. The short version was that his one-time and possibly still friend had a squad of potentially armed and definitely dangerous men in close proximity to his primary on an unverified mission.
The media kept popping up as well. They were more of a nuisance than a threat but they made actual threats harder to spot. Additionally, Master Kyoya's friends were playing that peculiar game where they stalked one another on dates. Again, a nuisance but it meant that he had to keep track of where all their security agents were. And now museum security on top of it. His only consolation was that if the museum guards knew what walked in but not why, they were having a worse day than he was. And if they did know why, they were probably really really annoyed.
~oOo~
As Kyoya and Haruhi moved through the galleries, the Hosts tiptoed behind, ducking behind artifacts, dropping to their knees to blend into crowds of schoolchildren (except Honey, who didn't need to). As the pair headed towards the stairs, Hikaru started to lag behind. "Coming Hika?" Kaoru said.
"I'll catch up," he said. Answering the others curious looks he nodded towards the restrooms. "Too much coffee this morning."
He didn't go to the restroom of course. He wandered back to the Great Court entry and into the souvenir shop. He wasn't looking at anything. He just wanted to be alone.
When Kyoya had suggested he and Kaoru bring Haruhi to the museum yesterday, they were sure he was setting them up for the Most. Boring. Date. Ever.
Ever.
But she was having a splendid time. Looking at carved rocks.
How did Kyoya know that about her when he and Kao didn't? They even had history class with her. Kyoya'd never had any classes with her.
Ever since Karuizawa, he'd been trying so hard to be more aware of her. Favorite foods, what concerts she liked, which clubs she'd had the most fun at. She hated ruffles and lace so he designed clothes for her that were soft and flowing and feminine without being frilly. She hadn't cut her hair since being outed as a girl. She even wore makeup occasionally; not much - with that flawless skin she didn't need it - just light eye makeup making those stunning brown eyes completely heart stopping. She might say that a person's sex didn't matter but it did to her, at least a little.
Hikaru passed by a shelf of reproduction sculptures. Ranka was dead. No matter what people might think privately, there was nothing to be gained by humiliating a dead man. Everyone knew Haruhi was a girl and surprisingly no one hated her for it. Shizue Suoh's biggest threats had been neutralized. In large part, due to Kyoya's actions.
Underhanded, duplicitous, successful. Very Kyoya.
Haruhi was going to be the first student in years to make it through on the academic scholarship. The school now had a vested interest in her succeeding. They weren't going to pull the scholarship.
Kyoya had made sure she would remain and finish at Ouran.
Shizue could still mess up Haruhi's college scholarship, but would she bother? The Hitachiins weren't old money. As nouveau riche, she wouldn't expect them to be properly selective. There really was no reason anymore for Hikaru to let Kyoya have her without a fight.
Kyoya had known she would love the museum.
He found himself standing in front of a spinning rack draped with keychains. One of them had a Rosetta Stone fob. He held it in his hand for a moment before taking it to the register. He wasn't sure how he would give it to her without her knowing that he had followed her around the museum, or even if she would understand that this was his promise that if she liked carved rocks, he'd make sure she had all she ever wanted, but he wanted her to have it, just the same.
.
He clutched the keychain in his fist and went over to the cafe, still not quite ready to rejoin the others. As he sipped his sparkling water, he flipped the miniature stone over and over in his hands when a woman walked up. Her clothes said 'human being,' but her demeanor said 'media.'
"You're one of the Hitachiin brothers."
"Yeah." There didn't seem to be any point in denying it.
"Are you the one in love with that girl?"
Hikaru snorted. There was a guaranteed answer no matter whom she asked it of.
"They're here in the museum today. Are you planning to confront them?"
Hoping for a video for your tabloid, are you? Hikaru thought nastily. But aloud, he said, "Have you ever cared for someone so deeply, you'd rather get your heart broken than risk losing their friendship?" He wasn't entirely sure if he was talking about Kaoru or Haruhi, but the pain was intense enough he wasn't sure it mattered. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find my friends."
~oOo~
One more picture of the girl and two of the boy made it onto the web. Whitby rubbed his chin in contemplation. Extending professional courtesy wasn't quite the same thing as blowing your cover, right? He walked over to the security guard, pulled out his wallet and flashed his MI5 credentials. "You're the head of security for this floor?" The man's eyes bugged out as Whitby snapped the wallet closed. "I'm not here on official business for the museum but I couldn't help noticing that man over there has a very high-res camera for your average tourist and the photos he's taking aren't quite centered on the art. You might want to check and see if there are any others like him around. I'm starting to suspect he's casing the museum." Ten minutes later, word went out to the security guards and docents that photography was prohibited for the rest of the day and a select group of patrons were politely escorted off the premises.
From the next room over, the hosts heard Haruhi exclaim over some beautiful ivory and gold figurines. Tamaki was seized by panic. "Quick men, we have to stop Kyoya before he can embarrass her. Honey-san: create a distraction to get Haruhi away from Kyoya."
"On it!" Honey saluted and moved towards a crowd of school children.
"Hm. Where can we talk in private?" Tamaki glanced around.
.
Haruhi felt a tug on her sleeve and look down into the enormous eyes of a first grader. "Amy's shoe came untied. Could you tie it for her?" A little girl asked innocently. She pointed back at a second girl whose green eyes were overflowing with tears of tragedy at her floppy shoe laces.
"Oh, um, OK," Haruhi said and started to move in that direction. Kyoya turned to follow but was prevented when a large hand closed over his mouth and another around his arms and dragged him backwards into a dark space. As his eyes adjusted to the lack of light he saw the faint outline of the door and a sliver of light glinting off golden hair and a pair of identical red mops. Mori's hand dropped from Kyoya's mouth. "What are you idiots doing?" Kyoya hissed.
"We're trying to stop you from embarrassing Haruhi," Tamaki answered.
"Of all the people in this broom closet, I am the one least likely to embarrass her," Kyoya retorted.
Tamaki ignored the comment. "You mustn't offer to buy those figurines she liked."
"Tamaki, this is a museum, not a mall," Kyoya said.
Mori's deep voice filled the darkness. "Are you saying if she really liked them you wouldn't try to get them for her?"
"What a crappy boyfriend you're turning out to be," the twins chimed in.
"Exactly my point," Tamaki went on. "She's used to seeing us buy anything we want, so a commoner like her might not appreciate difference. And if she asks you and you have to explain why you can't, she might be embarrassed by her commoner ignorance."
Kyoya mulled it over. "This is Haruhi we're talking about. She has never once asked any of us to buy anything for her."
Tamaki blinked. "Hm. Good point. Carry on." They shoved Kyoya out of the broom closet and slammed the door behind him.
.
Haruhi looked around for her missing companion, turning just in time to see him appear in front of a closing door. "Did you just come out of the janitors'..."
"Yes."
His clipped tone and the way the light was bouncing off his glasses made her think it might be wiser to not ask why.
.
Kyoya kept looking at her discreetly. It was easy to forget that Haruhi was a commoner. She'd been with them so long. She never asked for anything, she never cared that they had money. Indeed, she seem to find the twins' and Tamaki's constant excesses tiresome. Maybe he should rethink lunch and find someplace a little less ostentatious than the five-star restaurant he had picked out. He'd ask one of the docents. They worked around here, they were bound to know someplace good.
Then there was the other matter. They were idiots of course, Haruhi clearly knew that museums did not sell their collections but if she really liked something, he knew several art dealers who could locate virtually anything for him. But would she want to own it? "Haruhi, what is your opinion on art in museums versus private collections?"
~oOo~
"A commoners' sandwich shop? Kyoya?" Tamaki was genuinely puzzled. Then he gasped in horror. "Somebody substituted in an evil robot!"
"I don't know about evil," Honey said. "The robot seems kind of nice."
"Yeah," Mori agreed. "Let's keep the robot."
"Yay robot! Yay robot!" the twins chanted.
"No, no," Tamaki said. "It could turn dark and evil and dangerous at any moment."
"This is Kyoya," the Kaoru pointed out. "Who would notice?"
"No, milord is right," Hikaru said. "We need to find a way to test the robot."
"My thoughts exactly," Tamaki said, beginning to pace. "But how?"
"Robots short circuit when they get hit by water," Hikaru said. "We could see if that toy store over there has any water balloons."
.
A winning smile and a pair of sparkling violet-blue eyes meant that the toy store clerk let them fill their water balloons in the store's restroom. They each walked out carrying a shopping bag of balloons, except Honey, who'd found a convenient bakery and was carrying a little white bag full of sweets.
"Now, we don't want to hit Haruhi and since we don't know which side she'll be on, we need to split into teams."
"Right," Hikaru affirmed. "Kao and I will be on one side of the door, you be on the other."
"Yeah," Tamaki said. "I'm not falling for that again."
"Really?" the twins said. "You couldn't fall for it just once more, for old times' sake?"
"Hikaru, you're with me. Kaoru, you're on the other side. And we have to be careful not to hit their lunch either. Commoners can't afford a lot of food, so they get very upset when you waste it."
"You don't think Kyo-chan paid for their lunch?" Honey said.
"He is turning out to be kind of a lame boyfriend," the twins said.
"You really think getting her lunch hit by a balloon is what's going to upset Haruhi?" Mori felt obliged to ask.
"It's for her own protection," Tamaki said dismissively.
Hikaru pulled out a balloon, weighed it in his hand and tossed it up about two feet, catching it easily.
"What are you doing?" Tamaki asked.
"Testing the balance," Hikaru answered. "You said we needed to be careful not to hit Haruhi." He tossed it up about four feet this time.
"Good idea," Tamaki pulled out a balloon of his own.
Hikaru's six foot toss came down on Tamaki's head. "Hey!"
"Oops, my bad."
"You did that on purpose!"
"No, on purpose would've looked like this," Kaoru said throwing a balloon square into Tamaki's chest.
The next 45 seconds looks like three tennis ball launchers gone mad. Honey and Mori serenely looked on, Honey munching on his cake. The balloons were gone; the three were totally soaked; and Kyoya and Haruhi walked by oblivious and unscathed. Thirteen pictures of the twins in their wet shirts (and five of Tamaki) went up on the web.
Final tally for the day: 11 pictures of Haruhi, 8 pictures of Kyoya, 1 video of them both having a picnic and flying kites, 22 pictures of the twins, 1 heart wrenching interview with Hikaru (237 offers by fan girls to console him), 9 pictures of Tamaki, 3 each of Honey and Mori, a new fangirl website dedicated to the Hitachiins and their incredibly gorgeous friends, and 3 beers billed to an MI5 account that would probably never be audited.
~oOo~
A/N: I had thought about including the bar scene with the British colonel and Tachibana, but then I thought that the most interesting part would be Tachibana's opinion of his young employer and I don't think he would be indiscreet enough to voice it aloud, even though it's favorable.
Thanks everyone for the favs, follows and reviews. It's the #1 thing I look for in my inbox. (Followed closely by notices that some of MY fav stories have been updated. Hint hint.
ThatRandomDude0: I love Mori too, maybe next time. Although Tamaki's really taken to the whole spy notion, and might drag them into a different future than banking and finance. Stay tuned.