Chapter 21
Meanwhile, Chris and Mickie were in a totally different part of the forest...
"...So the angry mob managed to tie you to a totem pole over a boiling pot of tar, using you as their sacrifice?" Mickie clarified.
"Exactly. They were only out to get me since I refused to become their cult leader. If that had happened, I'd no longer be able to enjoy fun." he explained.
"Uh huh." she said slowly. "You know, you've been telling me about this dream of yours for the last two hours. How could you have a dream this long, much less remember every detail of it?"
"Oh, I was in a coma for two days." replied Chris.
"What? How'd you get yourself into a coma?" the perky Diva asked, surprised.
"I crashed a book club meeting where I stole Alex's 8 Ball and tried to show his Gram Gram what it could do, but I accidentally whacked her in the eye with it. After that, she knocked me upside the head with it and when I came to, some stranger was helping me on the bus to the hospital." he said. "She hates me."
"Well, Chris, what do you expect when you crash a book club with a room full of elderly women?" asked Mickie.
"I was hoping that they'd suddenly turn into a room full of hot, young chicks!" he chuckled.
"Figures." she shook her head.
"What's wrong?"
She sighed and turned to him. "Look, Chris. If we are going to start a relationship, you can't keep thinking about other women, ok? That just tells me that you have no concern for me at all."
"Wait, why would you even say that? You know that I care about you like crazy!" he exclaimed seriously.
"Yeah, I know you do, but it's just...never mind." she shook it off.
"What is it? You can tell me anything."
"It's just...I've always been pretty unfortunate in the relationship department." she admitted.
Confused, he raised an eyebrow.
"Everyone I've ever dated, it's just never worked out for me. They've either cheated on me, used me, or - like Dave used to do - spread horrible rumors about me just to entertain everyone else." she continued. "That's why I've decided to be single for a while, y'know, independent. At least, that was before I met you." the Diva said, looking up at him. "I'm afraid, Chris. I don't want it to happen again."
His heart was breaking for the woman before him. How could anyone hurt someone as amazing as her? The Detroit native did what he thought was best to cheer her up, by wrapping his arms around her in a hug. "Mickie, can I tell you something?"
She refused to be let go and replied, "Sure."
"I understand how you feel."
Now her expression turned into surprise. "How? You're like, the ladies' man who got dates every night of the week!"
"I know, I know. Hell, I was just in it for the thrill, but now, after I met you, it's not even worth it anymore. I've never had a lasting relationship before, and I want one with you, Mickie." he continued. "I've never met anyone like you! I always thought that the way you always threatened me was pretty damned sexy."
She smiled. "Oh, did you?"
"Yeah! And how you always play hard to get. It just makes me want you even more, y'know?"
"Well, that's how I am, Sabin. I could either be your biggest threat or your greatest fantasy." the Country Diva replied seductively.
He smiled. "I like number 2."
"I thought you would." she said while he took her hands.
"Do I deserve a kiss for that now?" he asked eagerly. "And I mean a real one, not that cheap piece of candy you gave me the other day."
"Well, someone's pushy!" she laughed. "But yeah, I think that you at least deserve a real one."
The tag team specialist continued smiling at this and combed away a strand of her hair, looking into her dark hazel eyes. She smiled back, looking at his handsome face and gazing into his blue eyes. Then, the two leaned in to share a-
*Growl...*
They froze.
"What was that?" asked Mickie.
"A Wild Snorlax approaching?" Chris asked back.
*GROWL!*
They turned around to suddenly find a wolf in their path, bearing its sharp teeth towards the two.
"Oh, God!" Mickie exclaimed in a scared whisper. "Is that...blood on its teeth?"
"Probably. Wait, you don't think that it got...Alex and AJ, do you?" he asked, whispering back.
Mickie shuddered at the possibility, but then shook it off. "No! I mean, they would've fought him off! He couldn't have gotten em!" she exclaimed.
"Then why is there blood on its teeth?" he demanded.
"I don't know!" she cried back. "Look, if we just back away slowly, maybe he won't chase us."
"Good plan. Stay behind me." he agreed, using one arm to shield Mickie. With each step that they took backwards, the wolf took another three steps towards them.
"Yeah, this isn't working." Chris concluded. "Any final words before we become dog chow?"
"How about we just run for our lives?" she asked. "No harm, no foul."
"Agreed." he said quickly before the two sped away, the wolf practically on top of them.
"DIVERSION!" Chris exclaimed, leading Mickie up a tree and onto a high branch.
Mickie sighed in relief. "Wow, great plan, Chris!" she exclaimed. "How'd you know?"
"Easy. When I got out of my coma, Alex was pissed about what I did to his Gram Gram, so he chased me down the street with a switchblade and threatened to stab me with it. As a result, I climbed up a tree and I had to stay up there for at least another 5 hours before he gave up and left. I figured that the same could happen here." he smiled.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but you are a genius!" she smiled back. "So, try all you want, Wolfie, you can't get us, nyah nyah nyah-nyah nyah!" she taunted the wolf in a sing song voice.
The wolf growled towards the two, leapt up a few times, but decided that it wasn't worth it anymore. It snarled towards the two as if to say 'Next time, silly humans, next time!', and then trotted away.
"Wow! We didn't have to sit up here for 5 hours!" announced Chris.
"Wait, Chris, I don't want to leave yet. I like being up here in a tree alone with you." Mickie said, blushing.
"To tell you the truth, so do I." he agreed, turning a little red. "Wanna have a staring contest?"
Soon after that, though, Alex and AJ emerged from the bushes, finally finding their friends up in a tree.
"There you guys are!" exclaimed AJ.
They looked down.
"Hey, nice to see that you two are still alive!" greeted Mickie.
Chris took a closer look, stifled his laugher, and said, "Alex, dude..."
He looked puzzled. "What?"
Mickie saw and tried not to laugh, too. "What the hell happened to you guys?" she asked.
"WHAT? What's so funny?" he asked.
"Why-Why the hell are you running around in your underwear?" Chris asked, bursting out in laughter while Mickie did the same.
"My under-" he froze, looking down below to see that he still hadn't changed into his jeans yet. "Oh, shit!" he cried, quickly grabbing his jeans and sliding them back on.
Chris and Mickie leapt off of the tree and joined their friends.
"Ok, so why did you come running out of the bushes in your boxers?" asked Mickie.
"Long story. April, you tell em." he replied.
"Well, Alex and I were totally lost in the woods, so then out of nowhere this dude with a ski mask and a gun threatens to take our money!" she explained.
"Oh my God." Mickie said, surprised.
"But we didn't have money on us, so he...asked for our pants instead." Alex continued, embarrassed.
Chris chuckled. "I want to meet this guy."
"Well, it wasn't cool! Luckily, I kicked him in the balls and Alex and I ran out of there." continued AJ.
"And we grabbed his gun." added Alex.
"Which you ended up shooting at a poor bird." AJ finished.
"Wow, first the squirrel and now you shot a bird? Have you no shame, Shelley?" Mickie asked, crossing her arms.
"Yeah, you're gonna have to be sleeping with one eye open at night now that all the other animals are going to be out to get you." agreed Chris.
"Jeez, it was an accident, don't hate me for it!" he snapped.
"Settle down, Boxer Boy, we don't hate you!" he exclaimed back. "Heh. Boxer Boy."
Tired of being laughed at, he did the only mature thing he could do. Without saying a word, he yanked down Chris's pants in retaliation. Chris said nothing and began turning red again in embarrassment.
"You got pantsed." AJ giggled.
As a reply, (with his pants wrapped around his ankles), he hopped over to Alex and pantsed him back. "Jerk." he concluded.
"Ok, ok, can we all just put our clothes back on before this gets any more awkward than it already is?" asked Mickie.
AJ was looking Alex down and smiled. "Although he does have a nice package." she said with a wink, looking at his lower half.
Mickie couldn't help but to do the same with Chris and smiled. "So does he, actually."
Alex chuckled nervously and pulled up his jeans with all the dignity that he could muster, while Chris stood there, smiling towards Mickie. "Oh, you like my package, eh? I'd be more than happy to show you more." he smiled devilishly.
"Oh, you are bad." she shook her head.
"Only as bad as you want me to be, baby." he growled, grabbing onto the rim of his boxers. But before he could do anything, Alex exclaimed, "HEY, keep this going in a darkened basement somewhere, all right? Now pull your pants back up so that we can find a place to crash for the night."
He glared at him and mumbled something as he did what he was told.
"Ok, so where ARE we going to crash for tonight?" asked AJ.
Before he could answer, it suddenly began pouring rain and the winds immediately picked up.
"All right, random typhoon, whoo hoo!" cheered Chris.
"Uh..uh, yeah, we better hurry up and find someplace to stay before a 2X4 gets driven through one of our necks!" Alex cried over the wind.