Episode 21: Weegee Smash Bros.
It was a cold, rainy night in the streets of Smashtopolis. Many of the folks that lived in the city for the tournament had gone back to their actual homes, leaving the huge city a lot more empty. Of course, Master Hand and Professor E. Gadd didn't mind, for that meant they would have less traffic to deal with, and thus could get what they needed to get done, well, done and over with a lot faster. Master Hand drove his giant bus, E. Gadd sitting in the seat behind him, until the giant hand parked in a Wal Mart's parking lot.
"So, how's the whole flash drive hunt been going?" Master Hand asked as he got out of the driver's seat. "Any luck on making exact pinpoints with that tracker thing?"
"Sadly no. In fact, I haven't even got much research done at all lately ever since yesterday," E. Gadd said as the two got off the bus. "All I have gotten at all are messages from that sea star fellow back in Bikini Bottom, asking if I can scientifically prove that mayonnaise is an instrument. Oh, and this Professor Juniper keeps sending me messages about her wanting me to come over and research "on her", and she's been sending images of her chest for some reason."
"Uh... oh. That's... something," Master Hand replied. The two moved closer to the Wal Mart until a bunch of Nintendo characters came running out of the front entrance, screaming joyfully while waving their arms around as stupidly as possible.
"Oyamaa! The squeals of the moronic! How beautiful it sounds, rivaling the chirps of even the most wondrous song birds!" E. Gadd commented.
"What's even going on?" Master Hand wondered before a Steenee rushed over to them, flailing her arms just like the rest of the morons.
"IT'S BEAUTIFUL! IT'S MARVELOUS! IT'S ON ONE OF THOSE STUPID ADVERTISEMENTS ON TV THAT ACTUALLY TAKE UP LIKE AN HOUR OR TWO BECAUSE THAT'S TOTALLY THE KIND OF STUFF PEOPLE WANT TO SEIBABYRCDENNIKSNIHTTSUJERYEHTNEHTTITUOBAGNINIHWSTRATSROHTUAEHTDNAODUOYFIMSICITIRCLAUTCASTISAGNOLSATIROFDEKSAROHTUAEHTTONROREHTEHWFOSSELDRAGERSCIFNAFOTMSICITIRCTUOEVIG!" the Steenee screeched.
"What?" Master Hand muttered. Steenee then grabbed the two of them and chucked them all the way into the back of the Wal Mart, where they crashed into the floor right before all the TVs the store had out. "Ugh... you alright, Elvin?"
"Maybe, but I might have a twisted ankle, " E. Gadd replied as the two got back up. Elvin then lifted his right leg and took his shoe off to get a better at the ankle.
"AHAHAHA! NOW I WISH TO MURDER MANY INNOCENT PEOPLE FOR NO GOOD REASON!" E. Gadd's ankle cackled somehow.
"Yep, twisted ankle." The professor then grabbed his sock and drew it closer back to his foot so he could put it back on.
"HEY! DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO PUT ME BACK IN THE VOID! I'LL DESTROY EVERY SINGLE LAST CELL IN YOUR BODY IF YOU DO!" the ankle threatened. But E. Gadd didn't give a damn and put his sock and shoe back on anyways. Once Elvin got his clothes back on, the extremely long and repetitive ad Steenee was talking about started from the beginning again.
~Studiopolis Zone, Act 2 (Prime Time) from Sonic Mania starts to play~
"Hello there, random people I likely never met before!" an unknown woman's voice boomed through the TVs. "Are you upset that the Smash Brothers tournament has ended? Are you so distraught about it that you have nothing better to look forward to other than being insane on the Internet? Well then, we have the thing for you! Because starting on November 27th, a brand new tournament in the same style of Smash Bros. run by a man named Weegee is beginning!"
"WHAT?!" Master Hand exclaimed.
"You heard right, morons who are exclaiming "WHAT?!", a new tournament run by Weegee!" the woman continued. "Here are just a few of the many characters who will duke it out in the new, improved, and less-controversial-due-to-this-tournament-not-having-a-fandom-yet tournament! First up is a wonderful Bellsprout!"
"Bellsprout!" a Bellsprout exclaimed as she appeared in the advertisement just to thrust her hips.
"Shrek the ogre!" the woman added. Bellsprout vanished in the ad in favor of that one png of Shrek just standing there, smiling like an idiot, before even he got replaced with Daisy. "Princess Daisy, who's only here because some maniac kept bugging the hell out of Weegee to get her in!"
"Hi, I'm Dai-" Daisy said before Bubsy motherfucking Bobcat tackled her all the way off screen.
"That demon that just whizzed by and tackle Daisy!" the woman said just as Banjo walked onto the screen. "Oh, and whoever this bear is. Some people like him apparently." Just then a whole slew of other characters, including Natsuki, CD-I Ganon, that horrifying Crash from the old Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back ad, a toaster, Bunny Lucina, Goofy Goober, and many more rushed onto the screen, causing Banjo to shriek and run the other way before he could get trampled. "So get ready for the brand new tournament, Weegee Smash Bros.!"
~Studiopolis Zone, Act 2 (Prime Time) stops~
"If you'd like to know more about Weegee Smash Bros., please come to the Weegee Smash Grounds right outside of Smashtopolis," the woman ended before the ad began to show pictures of the grounds.
"Oyamaa. All those people being excited over something like this proves that people will get excited over anything I suppose. What do you think, Master Hand mah boi?" E. Gadd asked his friend.
"He's... he's TRYING TO THROW SMASH BROS. INTO A GRAVE!" Master Hand yelled. The Steenee came back, grabbed the two, and chucked them right back out of Wal Mart and into the parking lot, where they landed right in front of the giant bus.
"And that Steenee's trying to throw us into a grave," Elvin added as the two got up again.
"FORGET ABOUT US BEING THROWN INTO A GRAVE, WE NEED TO KEEP SMASH BROS. OUT OF THE GRAVE!" The two climbed into the bus before Master Hand floored it out of the parking lot.
XxXx
NOVEMBER 27th, 2016
~Goodnight from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers Of Time/ Darkness starts to play~
Everyone in Wario's house were completely asleep. Wario and Anna were sleeping in the same bed, Waluigi slept in his bed, Crazy slept in front of the television as it was still on, with the program on it being an ad for Waluigi's Taco Stand, and Zigzagoon was sleeping right on top of the TV. Even Sans was fast asleep on the roof of the roof... all while Sandshrew and Sandslash kept painting the words "Shoutouts to Simpleflips" on the front door...
~Goodnight stops as Metal Battle from Super Smash Bros. Melee starts~
... until four robotic, noodle-y arms broke through one of the house's windows, each of them speeding through the house so they could grab onto Wario, Waluigi, Crazy, and Zigzagoon, waking them plus Anna up in a flash.
"Waa! What's going on?!" Wario demanded to know as Anna tried to free him from the robotic claw.
"IT'S THE APOCALYPSE! THE ROBOTS ARE GONNA TAKE OVER! THEY'LL ESPECIALLY ENJOY TAKING OVER THE NAVY!" Crazy insisted. The hand latching onto Zigzagoon then pulled him out of the house before Crazy and Waluigi got dragged out too.
"Never thought my life would end by being taking prisoner by robots," Wario remarked.
"Oh no it isn't! I'm going to save you, our friends, and then we'll take this robot army down togeth-" Anna commented before the hand dragged Wario and, due to her might, Anna herself, out of the house... and all the way into Master Hand's giant bus, where they were dropped on top of Waluigi and Crazy.
"And there goes my happiness once again," Lucario, who sat right next to E. Gadd in the front of the bus, complained. Meanwhile, Sans just teleported onto the top of the bus before turning to the "screen" and shrugging.
"What? Thought I was just gonna sit here in this canyon while they're gone?" the skeleton said no one, or maybe someone. Master Hand pushed the bus to high speed again, getting the bus to fly right out of the canyon of Wario's Gold Mine.
~Metal Battle stops~
With the Wario and his friends gone, Sandshrew and Sandslash stared at where the bus once was, their only movements being very fast blinks. After a few seconds, the two Ground types turned to each other. Sandslash slowly pulled a bunch more of purple paint out of nowhere, and the two ran back over to Wario's house.
XxXx
The sun was shining over the fourth abandoned Smash Grounds. The Pidgey were singing, the Sunflora were using Growth... and on days like these, only wackos like Eggman would hang around a joint like that empty place.
"Muwahahaha! Excellent!" Eggman cackled while admiring the place. "With no one here anymore, I can turn this wasteland into a new base! And this base might be the one where I can pull off my most evil scheme yet: mass producing advanced Spiny Shells and sending them to the officials running the Mario Kart races!" Eggman then laughed maniacally while placing his hands on his belly. While he cackled, a horrifying noise filled the air, swiftly getting louder as the source got closer to the Smash Grounds. Eggman was so caught up in his laughter that he didn't notice the danger until a large shadow loomed over him, just as the noise stopped. Eggman stopped his laughter and looked up...
... Right above him was Master Hand's bus, which landed right on top of the mad scientist, the crash making the same sound a Spiny Shell makes while blowing up. With Eggman thrown under the bus, all of the Smashers, Assist Trophy characters, Crazy Hand, Anna, and Zigzagoon got kicked out of the bus, all of them landing in a huge pile, before Master Hand and E. Gadd safely walked out.
"Everyone! Listen, I brought you all back for a very good reason!" Master Hand said while everyone in the pile began to climb out of it.
"It better be a damn good reason, because everyone here would rather be back home or at least be doing something better than being here!" Dark Pit claimed. Crazy zipped by the edgelord so fast that Dark Pit fell flat on his face.
"I don't have anything better to do, because all my friends are together again!" Crazy stated once he was by Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Duck Hunt Dog, Anna, and Zigzagoon.
"Well... just listen! Weegee has made his own tournament just like Smash Bros.! He's clearly doing to throw Smash Bros. out of with this, and even worse, who knows what kind of things we could get his hands on with all this money and support he's get-" Master Hand informed the huge group before being interrupted by loud snoring. Everyone glanced over to Wario and Waluigi, both of them seemingly asleep, with the latter being the one behind the snoring. Master Hand was about to wake them up violently, but E. Gadd intervened before that could happen.
"He's also planning on making sure Waluigi never gets his own game!" the old scientist lied. And then the two "woke up", screeching mindless screeches.
"LEMME AT 'EM, LEMME AT 'EM!" Wario demanded, punching the air.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Waluigi yelled, spinning in a circle.
"THE BREAD GOD WILL SMITE HIM AND HIS ALLIES!" Falco stated.
"WE WILL DEMONETIZE HIS YOUTUBE CHANNEL SO HE CAN SUFFER FOR HIS PLANS!" Crazy claimed as he was running around the screaming brothers while wielding twenty lightsabers at once.
"Alright, calm down you four! What we need to do is come up with a plan that'll make Smash Bros. more popular than Weegee's ne-" Master Hand said, only for Snake to interrupt him.
"First ten characters who show up get to join the tournament," the soldier suggested.
"And possibly bring in more maniacs like Wario? How about we don-" Lucario tried to say.
"Brilliant! First TWENTY characters who show up get to join Smash Bros.! That's the perfect plan!" Master Hand cried out. "Meta Knight, Mario! You two go out to Smashtopolis and advertise and make sure to stay out of Weegee's sight! Wario, Waluigi, you two can go online and..." As Master Hand kept dishing out commands to the Smashers and company, Lucario pulled out a small container of medical pills for curing headaches. Instead of just swallowing one pill, Lucario took every single last pill from the container before tossing the container to the side.
Three Hours Later...
The gates of the Smash Grounds was decorated with all sorts of ads promoting the return of the Smash Bros. tournament, and especially for the promotion for the "first twenty characters who show up get to join the tournament" idea. Master Hand sat at a booth right in the middle of the grounds.
But nobody came.
A lone Voltorb bounced between the booth and the gates, bouncing along parallel to Master Hand, before eventually exploding off screen and setting Ness on fire.
"WHERE ARE THEY?!" Master Hand demanded to know as everyone gathered around him. "With all that advertising, we should've had them coming by the hundreds at least!"
"Beats me bro, but I sent our best agent out to see if Weegee had anything to do with it!" Crazy said.
"Oh, so you sent Sna-" Master Hand said until he realized that Snake was right beside him. "Uh... Crazy, who did you send?"
Meanwhile...
A huge line of overly anxious people, mostly consisting of Nintendo characters, had formed at Weegee's tournament grounds, causing lots of ruckus. As Dr. Wily did ID checks before letting people in, Weegee and Natsuki stood right outside of "Weegee's Even Better Palace And Taco Stand", with Weegee holding a clipboard with a piece of paper on it. Some of the stuff on the paper was actually relevant to the tournament, but most of it was just pictures of Love Live.
"You sure this tournament's gonna mess with those Wario and Waluigi morons?" Natsuki asked Weegee.
"Yeah, at least it ought to separate them from their stupid friends once and for all. And once we have that done, we can burn their house to the ground with lamp oil, rope, and a new mixtape I've been working on," Weegee answered.
"Hey Weegee!" Malleo squealed as he and Ai Kizuna suddenly appeared behind Weegee, giving him a frighten and causing him to let out a slight yelp. "So many people have come! Do you think mom or dad might be here?!"
"Uh, maybe, we'll see if they are! Now why don't you go see that Bellsprout girl? I think she wanted to play some Sonic games with two!" Weegee stuttered.
"Yeah yeah yeah, playing Sonic games with a new friend! C'mon Ai, let's go find Bellsprout at the speed of sound!"
"Yeah! Let's go fast!" Ai excitedly replied, somehow suddenly in a bumper car. She drove off at high speed, running into Elec Man and flattening him before Malleo chased after her. Weegee and Natsuki just stared at the runaway duo, the former sighing.
"Neither of them are going to show up, are they?" Natsuki asked Weegee.
"Yeah, it's a long story, and I'm not telling you any of it," the evil meme groaned. Right as the two got back to talking about bringing down Super Smash Bros., a bush a fair distance away from them began to shake...
~Secret Service by Syd Dale starts to play~
... and all of the shaking was caused by Zigzagoon, who was wearing spy gear as he popped out of the bush. The Pokémon took a quick look around before diving for another bush that was closer to the grounds's entrance. Cut Man walked by the second bush, but Zigzagoon stuck out his back foot and tripped the robot before diving underneath a box that was even closer to where Zigzagoon needed to go. The little Pokémon started sneaking by the ruckus while using the box as a disguise, but Guts Man soon took notice of the moving box.
"Wait a minute..." the big robot muttered. Zigzagoon stopped in his tracks, letting the box hit the ground just as Guts Man approached. Guts Man picked up the box, surprising to find nothing beneath it or even in it. "Huh. Could sworn I saw this thing move like somethin' was hiding under it." Guts Man put the box down, but Zigzagoon reappeared right behind the robot, floating with a jetpack and wielding a silencer pistol. Zigzagoon then shot a firework out of the gun, knocking Guts Man down and out before Zigzgoon flew up and over the entrance to Weegee's tournament grounds, landing safely by the long line. He looked at the sign above the entrance, which had the words "First Hundred Folks To Come Get To Join The New Tournament!" written on it. Zigzagoon gasped and dug right into the ground, heading back inside to find more info.
XxXx
~Secret Service stops~
"Well, sounds like someone's going to have to start digging that Zigzagoon's grave then," Lucario remarked.
"HEY! Zigzagoon's smarter and stronger than you think, you big fat meanie!" Crazy insisted.
"Yeah, I'm sure that "pet" of yours is capable of sneaking into Weegee's property, getting the info we need, and sneaking right back out alive. Completely positive."
"That's the spirit! Stay positive and believe in Zigzagoon!" the insane hand said, giving Lucario a thumbs up. Lucario groaned and was just about to comment on Crazy's stupidity when Zigzagoon showed up on a unicycle moving by itself. The unicycle ran both Lucario and Luigi over, causing both of them to scream once the unicycle zoomed past.
"Waa-haa-haa!" Wario cackled. Waluigi on the other hand held up a sign that said "Ten tens out of ten, not enough tens".
"And there he is! What'd you find out, Zigzagoon?" Crazy asked his little friend as the unicycle vanished into thin air. Zigzagoon responded by handing the big hand a photo of the sign promoting the first hundred gimmick Weegee was using. "Hey, Weegee ripped off our idea of the first whatever people! AH9VNHJNVNERBJT!"
"What?! Let me see that!" Master Hand demanded, snatching the photo from his brother. Master Hand glared at the photo somehow for a few seconds before tossing it aside. "That's gotta be a coincidence! There's no way he tried ripping us off... even if he would do that!" Zigzagoon merely shook his head at Master Hand's claim.
"You mean he definitely did rip us off? How, little buddy?" Crazy wondered. Zigzagoon only answered by pointing his front paw to the bus.
"Waa? In here?" Waluigi asked before he, Wario, and Falco climbed into the bus. Everyone else just sat there, waiting for whatever the trio of stupidity could find, until Wario let out a scream.
~Grass Skirt Chase by Sage Guyton and Jeremy Wakefield starts to play~
A few bangs and screams could be heard coming from the inside of the bus before Plankton came running out, with Wario, Waluigi, and Falco on his non-existent tail.
"Just do what SpongeBob did when he ruined that dream, Sheldon!" Plankton thought before he morphed into a tack. Wario stepped on the tiny miscreant, screamed, and shot up into the air before Waluigi and Falco did the same. "Ha! You can't stop me, mortal foo-"
... And then Wario fell back down on Plankton butt-first and squashed him anyways.
~Grass Skirt Chase stops~
"Ouch," Plankton groaned. As Waluigi and Falco fell back down to the ground, Wario farted right on Plankton, forcing the one-eyed monst- er, freak, to cough and gag.
"I feel sorry for that little guy," Lucario muttered.
"Oh, so Weegee decided to spy on us using this little freak, huh?" Master Hand growled, approaching Wario and the flattened Plankton. Wario got off just before Master Hand picked Plankton off the ground and chucked him away. Plankton, still flat as paper, landed right in the middle of Lucina's chest.
"This joke again? Really?" Lucina complained.
"Yeah, me getting flattened. Real original. I hate it too, sister," Plankton replied.
"Well, looks like gimmicks won't work anymore," Master Hand remarked.
"Does that mean there won't be as many gimmicky newcomers for the next tournament?" Pikachu asked.
"We're going to need to change tactics!" the giant hand continued, ignoring Pikachu's question. "We're going to tear Weegee's tournament apart by force!"
"I think we're going to need more people if we're going to try and fight Weegee and all those people in his tournament," Meta Knight stated.
"Oh-ho! In that case, Wario's gonna have to make a few calls!" the yellow moron said, pulling out a cell phone.
~Neon City from Wario Land: Shake It! starts to play~
Suddenly, the "screen" split in half diagonally, with one end staying on Wario while the other end was pure black... or at least it was until Wario called SpongeBob, who was inside his pineapple's kitchen with Patrick.
"Hey there, SpongeBob? I need you to beat up Weegee with me!" Wario told the sponge.
"We're ready!" SpongeBob replied.
"Yang!" Patrick weirdly added for no reason other than that he could say it. Wario hung up on the two and instantly connected to Snorlax, who was chilling in the woods near the Smash Grounds.
"Snorlax! I need your help! What's the pay? Uh, hold on," Wario said to Snorlax before moving the phone by Waluigi's mouth.
"Watch?v=6n3pFFPSlW4!" Waluigi somehow shouted into the phone before Wario brought the cell back to his own ears.
"I can't hear you, you're breaking up!" Wario lied.
"I didn't even ask for any money or an-" Snorlax said before Wario ended the call, instantly starting up a call with Fat Mario, who was in the middle of a random Burger King.
"Oh-ho, so you'll beat up evil memes with me or what?" Wario asked the chubby version of Mario.
"No," Fat Mario answered in that iconic voice of his. Wario ended that call and got connected with Squidward, who was in his bath tub in the nude.
"Hey Squidwar-" Wario said, only for Squidward to scream like a maniac before hanging up. "Eh, oh, OK, I'll call you back." Wario then ended the call and called Mona, who was in a theater with the rest of the main WarioWare cast aside from Ashley, all of them excited that Wario had called them. "Wrong number, sorry." Everyone in the theater donned sad looks on their faces as Mr. Krabs came in, playing a sad song on the world's smallest violin. Wario hung up again, this time calling the Waluigi look-a-like, WAA HAA HEE, who was in hell, on accident.
"It's-a me," WAA HAA HEE said, disturbing Wario enough to end the call then and there. Wario then called Vaike, who was in Waluigi Pinball.
"ME!" Wario idiotically said, though Vaike somehow understood that Wario needed his help. The call ended, and thus Wario called the Aerodactyl from yesterday's shenanigans with Sanic, shouting out "IT'S" yet still somehow getting the plea for help across.
"Is this going to end soo-" Lucario asked before Wario continued his calling spree. This time, the yellow maniac called the Ariados who attacked Natsuki a few days before, with said Pocket Monster still at Wario's Gold Mine.
"ME"
Wario ended the call, going on to call King Harkinian while the king was at Koridai.
"WAR-"
Wario hung up yet again, calling Crash Bandicoot, who was at N. Sanity Beach.
"-I-"
Yet another hang up from Wario before he called Chie Satonaka as she was hanging around in Inaba.
"Oh, sorry, I thought this was somebody worth talking to," Chie said to Wario.
~Neon City stops~
Wario's mouth hung agate as Chie hung up.
"Finally, it's all ov-" Lucario tried to say.
"Well, just gotta make a few more calls!" Wario said.
Two Minutes Of Phone Calls Later...
"... Aaaand done!" Wario stated.
"How long is it going to take for all those folk to show up?" Master Hand wondered. He got his answer a second later when a bus came crashing down, exploding and burning into nothing in seconds. Where the bus crashed were nearly everyone Wario had called, bar Snorlax, Fat Mario, Squidward, the WarioWare gang, WAA HAA HEE and Chie, all of them in perfect condition.
"A few seconds," Wario replied anyways.
"WARIO, YOU CALLED THE GRIM REAPER OF ALL THINGS?!" Lucario squealed, pointing at Death from Castlevania, who was among those who rode the bus, as Luigi cowered in fear.
"He sure did," Death said. "It's nice to see you in the flesh again, Wario. You too, Waluigi."
"Yeah, it's nice seeing ya again after all these years," Waluigi said.
"Well, I think we have enough people. Let's spring my plan into action!" Master Hand demanded.
One 1966 Batman-Styled Scene Transition Featuring Wario And Waluigi Spinning Around In The Void Later...
The line had cleared up at Weegee's tournament grounds, with everyone finally in the grounds itself. Master Hand and E. Gadd waited behind a set of trees just big enough to somewhat conceal them and Master Hand's giant bus, most of the Smashers, Assist Trophy characters, and the like were also hidden around the tournament grounds, and Lucario and Pikachu were dressed up in fancy outfits, approaching the grounds's entrance.
"Ah, more people wanting to check the tournament out I see!" Wily said as Lucario and Pikachu approached. "I'll need something to verify your identity ple-"
"Oh, we're not here for the tournament. We're here to talk about taking down Dr. Light with you, Albert," Lucario lied.
"Woah, really?! Nice to see more people want to give that fat man some well-deserved pain!" As Wily got too caught up blabbering about how he wants to bring Dr. Light and Mega Man down, Pikachu sneaked right in.
"Pikachu's in," Master Hand spoke into a walkie-talkie that E. Gadd held on to. "Wario, Waluigi, Zigzagoon, now's the time for you three to start digging in."
"With pleasure!" Wario said, putting away the walkie-talkie. While Zigzagoon used Dig to dig a hole for the trio to sneak into the grounds with, Wario started munching on some garlic. Once Zigzagoon's hole got big and deep enough, the Wario Bros. dove in too.
"And thus I decided to send Light some links to some of those weird sites about porn, hoping on those viruses will get him. Yet, to this day, I still don't know what porn is," Wily said, even though Lucario didn't actually care about what Wily said. However, due to all the pills Lucario took earlier to avoid getting headaches ironically gave him one... and started messing with his mind. Lucario's eyes became purple, he started to become far more carefree... sorta... "Uh, hey, are you alright? Your eyes are turning purple an-"
And then Lucario snapped.
~Outlaw! from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/ Darkness starts to play~
"YEEEEEEHAW!" Lucario screeched just like how Crash Bandicoot did in the first Crash game. The Pokémon then tackled Wily, sending him flying through the crowd in the tournament grounds before crashing into Weegee's Even Better Palace And Taco Stand.
"What the fuck is going on?" Weegee wondered.
"LUCARIO?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Master Hand demanded to know. "THAT'S IT, EVERYONE BAIL IN, I REPEAT, EVERYONE BAIL IN! LUCARIO'S ALREADY RUINED THE PLAN, JUST BAIL IN!"
"Yeah, bail in!" Crazy Hand squealed, breaking through one of the grounds's walls while spazzing as usual. All of those who weren't set to participate in Weegee's tournament ran for the exit as the rest of Master Hand's army came in, most of them idiotically falling from the sky or smashing through things.
~Outlaw! stops~
Once all of the non-participants had left, almost all of Master Hand's army, including the big hand himself, were in and ready for battle. All except for Wario, Waluigi, and Zigzagoon.
~Dummy Threat! from Undertale starts to play~
"Fucking of course. Of course it's you maniacs," Weegee cursed.
"The only maniacs here are you and your friends, Weegee," Master Hand replied. "Now, I'm giving you ONE chance to end this tournament right now and never mess with us ever again."
"And I'm giving you one chance to buzz off. Maybe if you do, I'll end this tournament of mine. But only if you leave," Weegee threatened back. Both sides remained still. Master Hand's fingers twitched ever so slightly. A hateful frown hid behind Weegee's mustache. And Crazy was watching an episode of SpongeBob on a portable laptop.
~Dummy Threat! stops~
Suddenly, the ground began to shake a bit right before Lucario shot out right beneath Weegee while yeehawing again, causing the evil meme to fall flat on his face.
"Lucario, you're being just as bad as Wario an-" Master Hand said, only for Weegee to interrupt.
~Planet Namek (Destroyed) from Dragon Ball FighterZ starts to play~
"That's it, you asked for it! Everyone, attack!" Weegee's army lunged for Master Hand's, forcing Master Hand and friends to do the same as the meme himself got up. Just as Weegee got back on his feet, Death tried to slice the life out of the meme with his iconic scythe... only for Weegee to grab onto the scythe's blade.
"Um..." Death muttered.
"Um what? Thought I was that weak? Thought that I was just some scardey-cat plumber? Guess what, even if you did slice me, you wouldn't be able to reap my soul that easily. Now go be grim somewhere, dumbass," Weegee said, swiping the scythe out of Death's hands. The meme sliced Death's skull of the rest of his skeletal body before kicking it off to the distance. Meanwhile, Wario, Waluigi, and Zigzagoon just popped up within the first floor of Weegee's Even Better Palace And Taco Stand, right in front of large windows that were the only things between them and the huge brawl.
"Waa, when do think the inevitable fight between Weegee and all of us will start?" Waluigi asked Wario as Zigzagoon stared at the fight, witnessing Bellsprout beat the living hell out of Ganondorf and Mewtwo at the same time.
"Meh, probably in an hour or two," Wario answered.
"Inevitable fight? What inevitable fight?" Ai asked, her and Malleo having just shown up next to the two bros.
"Oh, the fight between Weegee and us because this whole tournament is just another attempt at getting revenge at us," Wario answered.
"Darn it! Should'a known Weegee was just trying to mess with you guys again!" Malleo moaned. "I know what to do though! The basement's got some sorta button that summons a giant robot for kicking people out I think!"
"Oh yeah! We'll kick Weegee out! Let's go already!" Waluigi demanded.
"Hop on!" Ai said, her random bumper car spawning out of nowhere again. Wario, Waluigi, and Malleo jumped on and Ai drove off for the basement, leaving Zigzagoon behind. The little Pokémon pulled out his silencer and fired another firework out of it. The firework blasted through the glass and exploded as soon as it came into contact with Weegee, forcing Death's scythe to fly out of the meme's hands. This let Anna get up close and personal with Weegee, kicking him numerous times before she punched him a fair distance away. Right as she was about to start sniping him with her arrows, Natsuki started kicking Anna back.
"Heh, a big pink loser like you, thinkin' you can take me? Ha! As if, but I'd like to see you try!" Guts Man cackled, standing before Patrick.
"Better than being a useless heap of metal," Patrick replied.
"What?" Guts Man muttered before Patrick lifted the Robot Master and performing an Argentine backbreaker on him, snapping Guts Man into two halves.
XxXx
Ai kept driving through the basement until she ran through a metal door, revealing a massive control room.
"Now which one of these is the button for the giant robot?" Wario asked, all of them leaping off the bumper car.
"Hmm... I think it's the big red one!" Malleo said, smashing the button with his fist.
XxXx
~Planet Namek (Destroyed) stops~
The ground around the grounds began to shake wildly. Everyone stopped fighting, except for Lucario, who kept idiotically flinging himself at random people, just to wonder what was behind the sudden quakes.
"Damn, now what?" Weegee cursed. Everyone get looking around, but it wasn't until Snake looked up at the top of Weegee's Even Better Palace And Taco Stand that anyone knew just what was going on.
"Everyone! At the top of the palace!" Snake said, pointing at a giant Time Bob-omb that was rising out of the palace, already counting down from fifteen.
~Boss (Pinch) from Sonic Advance 2 starts to play~
"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Master Hand screamed. Everyone outside fled for the grounds's exit, except for Lucario again, who just continued to tackle people pointlessly. Weegee and Master Hand's army just barely made it out with some of Weegee's allies like Bellsprout and Banjo...
~Boss (Pinch) stops~
... before the Time Bob-omb reached zero and blew up, decimating the entire tournament grounds and burning everyone unlucky enough to escape, yet not doing any damage whatsoever to anything outside of the grounds. Once the damage was done, Wario and company dug themselves out of the ground, discovering all the damage they had done.
"... Fuck this, I'm going home," Weegee growled, teleporting back to his island. Everyone still conscious stared at all the unconscious and burnt people laying around the grounds.
"Eh, at least we can go back to our safe and unharmed home," Waluigi stated.
Another Batman-Styled Scene Transition Featuring Wario And Waluigi Spinning Around In The Void Later...
Wario, Waluigi, Crazy, Anna, Zigzagoon, and Sans were standing in front of Wario and Waluigi's house, now drenched in purple paint thanks to Sandshrew and Sandslash. The two Pokémon waited in some nearby bushes for a sad or enraged reaction from the brothers...
~Victory Fanfare from Final Fantasy 7 starts to play~
... but instead they only got reactions of joy out of them.
"Waa haa! It's beautiful! The perfect shade of the perfect color!" Waluigi cackled, him and Wario dancing as Sandshrew and Sandslash started to cry.