All but ten minutes later and Alastair was pulling over which was probably a good thing because he couldn't stop shaking. When he jumped out, James followed and made his way around the car to see that Alastair had slid to the ground, the door still open and engine still running.

"Hey," James said softly as he got on his knees. "Listen to my voice, okay? You're going to make yourself pass out at this rate. In…then out. No, you have to do it by my count, alright? Again. In…then out. In…then out."

Slowly, Alastair was able to get his breathing under control until finally he whispered, "I'm dreaming. I have to be dreaming. I'm going to wake up."

"Alastair, hate to break it to you but you're not dreaming," broke in James as he leaned in and nudged Alastair's face up so he was looking at him. "I can't even begin to image how you're feeling right now but you have to pull yourself together. Break down later if you have to. Remain alone, ask for me to be there, tear a punching bag to shreds or curl up in a ball, whatever you need but right now your little sister is standing a foot away and I doubt she wants to see her big brother break down on Christmas Eve."

Alastair gave a shaky nod, glancing at Roxy who, granted, didn't look that phased for a kid, just worried. Taking another deep, calming breath, Alastair then took the offered hand from James and stood up on shaky legs.

"I'll drive. That alright with you?"

"Yes…it's probably in the best interests of everyone here."

Switching sides, everyone got back into the car though Roxy did end up climbing over seats and sitting in Alastair's lap before he could protest.

"It'll be alright," Roxy tried. "Uncle James and I can go out and get ice cream and we can make peanut butter cookies because those are your favorite and make Italian Cream sodas and get every kind of chocolate under the sun!"

"So a diabetic coma," murmured Alastair though a small smile broke through the pain on his face.

"Sounds like a good time to me," James replied, trying to keep the easy mood going. "So where to?"

"The store!" cried out Roxy. "If that's alright with you of course brother."

"No, that sounds find to me," murmured Alastair, his mind clearly on something else though still trying to cheer up Roxy.

"Kay, store it is. Anyone in particular?"

"Just whichever is closest," Alastair replied.

Nodding, James mentally planned out the route in his head. Once there, they all got out and Roxy became head of getting supplies. The stores were crowded but Roxy helped speed things up as she slipped under and between people, grabbing at the items that would have been unreachable otherwise.

They then went back to Alastair's apartment where Roxy tutted upon walking in. "You didn't decorate."

"You do realize I have a job right? I don't really have time to just decorate whenever I feel like it."

"No excuses," Roxy responded with a shake of her head. "I suppose we're just going to have to decorate the cookies instead. Good thing we got plenty of icing!"

James smirked at her determined little face, her goal clearly being to distract and hopefully cheer up Alastair. James had frequently looked at the man at all given opportunities and when he realized he was being watch, rather by James or Roxy it didn't matter, he would put on a fake feeling of nonchalance. However, the moment he thought the focus of the conversation wasn't on him his face would drop.

Wishing he could somehow help the man, James simply followed Roxy's example and tried to keep Alastair distracted instead. They mixed and patted down and did all sorts of things. When Roxy and James started in a flour fight, Alastair surprisingly joined. It was a good sign that he was at least not focusing on the past events.

Eating mostly crap food, the trio ended up on the couch with an old movie adaption of A Christmas Carole playing on the TV. Roxy tried to stay awake but as the night went on and the movie ended, she dozed off almost immediately as another movie started up.

When she was sound asleep, James realized that she was what had kept the easy atmosphere. Though Alastair still tired to maintain his fake nonchalance, he was much tenser now and after about ten minutes he was suddenly up and gone.

Trying not wake Roxy, James moved at a slightly slower pace as he followed Alastair into the kitchen where he was rapidly pacing back and forth, the prime numbers being mumbled under his breath again.

Leaning up against the counter top, James watched, wondering if Alastair was ignoring him or truly didn't realize he was there. The numbers kept going on and on and finally James interjected with, "Alastair."

Looking up rapidly, James noted that Alastair avoided eye contact though he at least seemed to notice him now and had stopped murmuring the prime numbers.

"Are we going to talk or are you going to wear a hole into your floor?" asked James softly, not wanting to wake Roxy. When there no reply, James added, "Can we please talk about what happened?"

"I…Where should I begin?" asked Alastair. It wasn't rhetorical in nature though as he clearly wasn't sure where to start and wanted James' answer.

"I suppose when your mother pulled you away. What set her off?" James said.

"Uh…well, you did. I mean what you did. The um, the uh comforting. It set her off," Alastair got out.

"Are you serious? That's what set her off?"

Alastair nodded and then said, "She just kept saying over and over how much of a failure I was! She wouldn't stop! Wouldn't listen! Over and over and—"

Cutting in James said, "Hey, calm down alright?" and quickly walked over, making calming noises as he soothingly massaged circles into the other's arms. "If you need to scream, just let it all out we'll go outside but Roxy is asleep right now and I know you'd like to keep it that way." Waiting several more moments for Alastair to calm down, James asked, "Want to go outside?"

"No I'm…I'm alright."

"Okay. And the…the kiss?" James asked hesitantly.

Licking his lips, Alastair looked down and eventually replied, "I don't…I guess looking back I knew it would be the first thing to piss mother off. So I uh…did so…without really thinking which I probably shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

"Hey, you don't have anything to be sorry for? Okay? Especially with me."

Looking up again, Alastair's face suddenly twisted into anguish as he murmured, "Oh god, I did hurt you. Didn't I?"

"I don't follow."

"You like me and I did that stupid move and it hurt you."

Christ, well James hadn't expected that. Maybe Alastair wasn't as clueless as his siblings thought him to be.

"I'm not sure I know what you're on about," James replied, his voice actually shaking as he suddenly became very self-conscious and unsure at where all this was going.

"Damn it James! Don't lie and don't look so shocked! Of course I knew," said Alastair, his face looking rather offended. "I'm not an idiot."

"Of course you're not but—well what do you want me to say? Is it that I like you? Cause fucking do, probably more than is logical."

"And the fact that I kissed you to despise my mother hurts you. Doesn't it?" stressed Alastair.

"Well, yeah I'm human. But what hurts more is you pulling away and closing yourself off until finally you explode like you did tonight. You are my friend. You got that? I…hell, if you want to know what really hurt me tonight it was seeing your mother, a person that as humans we all expect to love us unconditionally, hit you like that with absolutely no regard for your well being! If you hadn't done what you did I would have continued launching myself across and done who knows what horrors to her!"

"Now who needs to calm down?"

"If you expect me to apologize, I'm not."

"I don't expect you to and…I'm sure…whatever you would've done she would have deserved," Alastair replied, sounding almost unsure of his statement though the simple fact he'd said it out loud was amazing in and of itself. Silence filled the room, the minutes ticking by, when suddenly Alastair added, "And I do like you…in the same…capacity as you. But! I need to figure some things out for myself. I can't do a relationship…if you were even hoping for a relationship! But I just…I need time to wrap my hand around this if that's okay."

"Alastair, you have all the time in the world and whatever decision you come up with at the end of the day…it doesn't matter to me as long as you'll still have me as your friend," James sincerely replied. "Because meeting you is possibly the best thing that could have happened to me and I'd rather not lose you anytime soon."

For the first time that day, Alastair actually released a genuine smile. "And I thank you for that. It means…I could never express to you in words how much it means."

AN: So not together yeeeeeeeet...but we're getting there! Once again, I almost wish I hadn't decided to do slow build because now I just want to shove these two knuckle heads together but I shall remain true to how I believe the characters would act in these types of situations haha. Hope you enjoyed and thank you to everyone as all ways!