Unending thanks and snuggles for my beta, Saluki168 and to all of you that are reading/reviewing/rec'ing/making this story a favorite. I am humbled and grateful.

Bella will need a hug after this chapter, trust me.

Chapter 21

I didn't have a mother. At least that was the way I had always felt about it. I couldn't miss the presence of someone I had no memory of. When I was thirteen I was snooping around one afternoon while Charlie was out on patrol. I was actually trying to unearth my birthday gift. What I found instead was a an old, dusty shoe box that was simply marked "photos." Curiosity got the best of me and I opened the box.

Inside I found a vast array of pictures of Charlie and her, the woman I didn't know despite the fact I had been in her womb for nine months.

She was strawberry blonde with piercing blue yes and an elegant yet carefree face. I examined each picture with a scrutinizing eye trying to decipher what pieces of me were passed down from her. I had always identified with Charlie and grew up hearing the phrase, "You look just like your father," repeatedly. Of course, I always felt the resemblance was strong as well. But that afternoon, when my sleuthing got the best of me, the similarities I shared with her were literally staring me right in the face.

My eyes and hair, save for the auburn highlights, were strictly Charlie but my dainty, round-tipped nose and bone structure had come straight from her. I shed tears at the discovery, forced to recognize that I did indeed have a mother. I thought those would be the only tears I would spill over her. I decided that day, at the ripe old age of thirteen, that I would never waste my time or tears on her again. I would be wrong. Although I had closed the lid on her memory along with the pictures in the box that day, sucked it up and mentioned it to no one, the past has a way of coming back around, even when you're confident you've rid yourself of it.

Charlie made a pretty decent recovery from his bout with pneumonia. The new regiment of less liquid, more substance had helped ease him along – not that there weren't changes to deal with.

Edward began coming four days a week. True to his word, he had kept things on a professional level in the month since we had made up. There wasn't any lingering strain between us, but there was still a faint line drawn in the sand. We talked, mostly about Charlie, and he joined us for dinners on the days Billy or the guys were over; he sat in the kitchen with them. It still brought me some measure of satisfaction that he was eating what I cooked again. Of course my attraction to him hadn't waned, and it excited me when I caught him scoping me out when he thought I wasn't paying attention. I was always paying attention.

I was content with where we were at but could hardly deny that I still wanted more. In some ways I wanted the emotional benefits of a relationship, but I also had other needs that weren't being met; celibacy after a plentiful sexual history is not for the faint of heart or, erm, loins. It didn't help that I had an extremely good looking man coming to the house four times a week.

Edward adjusted his schedule to include Thursdays; he was coming by Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday. The days he spent with us – or Charlie if I wasn't around- were the ones I was most at ease. My anxieties had been increasing over time and they were noticeably elevated on the days he wasn't there.

I was especially thankful for his presence on a random Thursday when my comfort zone was unexpectedly attacked - a day that reached a place I didn't even know existed in me.

It started off as any other; Charlie was in a "good" phase and was eating breakfast – no small feat, I tell you. Outside it was cloudy and drizzling rain, the wind blowing it against the windows making an inconsistent tapping sound. In the distance darker clouds loomed to the north. If I had been more superstitious, I probably would have looked at it as a bad omen.

After breakfast, Charlie was sitting in his well worn recliner and Edward was at his side.

There was a knock at the door.

"Coming," I called, wondering who it might be. I thought maybe it was Sam, stopping by to say "hello" or maybe an unexpected delivery. I guessed wrong both times.

I opened the door and on the other side stood a well dressed, beautifully coiffed stranger, my mother. Though the only time I laid eyes on her in the flesh, I had been a newborn, I knew her from the pictures I had stumbled across all those years earlier. Charlie had made a point not to keep anything out in the open. I imagined it was partially for his own sanity, as well as mine. I had no words, no voice, not even a coherent thought, only raw, intrinsic emotion.

"You must be Bella. Hi, I'm Renee," she introduced. It was informal and cold, we were meeting for the first time since my first few weeks of life and that was how she decided to approach it?

I didn't extend my hand and had no response with which to greet her. I asked the only question that came to my confounded mind. "What are you doing here?" Two could play at her childish games of avoidance and disregard.

"I heard about your father and I would like to see him."

I was infuriated, anger incinerated any compassion that had existed in me prior to to the time I opened the door. How dare she? After twenty-six years of not a word, she had some balls showing up unannounced and uninvited.

I snorted before answering, "Uh, I don't think so. Besides, he's resting."

"Well then, I'll wait." She was nonchalant and completely unaffected standing there in my presence.

My blood absolutely boiled in my veins but before I erupted in a tirade, I heard the sound of the rubber wheels of my dad's wheelchair coasting along the hardwood floor behind me.

"Bella," Charlie started, his voice resolute. "Why don't you head back into the living room."

No. She didn't deserve this meeting – she had done nothing to earn it.

"Dad, I don't think you-"

He cut me off. "Sweetheart, go to the living room, please? For me?" His hoarse voice and it's underlying plea did not escape me, but I was still livid.

I tore away from the front door so quickly, I felt the wind I created trail behind me.

When I saw the look on Edward's face it was clear he was entirely uncomfortable with what was unfolding in the Swan household. I paced back and forth, waiting to hear Charlie close the door on that audacious woman. I was floored when Charlie rolled through the room with her following just behind.

"Bells, hey. We're just going to have a talk in my room, okay?"

I loved my dad, God, I loved him, but I was so not okay.

"Fine." I couldn't be sweet, not even to him in that moment.

Edward was on standby. I could see he wanted to say something, but he refrained, choosing to remain an innocent observer.

I tore up the stairs to my bedroom, leaving him in my wake. I turned on my monitor which was suddenly a convenient spy cam.

"...she looks like you, but she has quite an attitude on her," she said, her voice unfeeling, detached.

"Attitude? Excuse me Renee but how is she supposed to act towards the woman who abandoned her when she was only a baby? Besides, you barely even acknowledged her presence just now," he huffed. I could hear anger in Charlie's otherwise feeble voice.

"I've missed you Charlie, I have. I just wish you had agreed to what I wanted back then. I could be caring for you now, bringing you joy in your final days." I watched her take a step towards him.

"Don't you dare. That girl out there, the one you so hastily wanted to abort is the best thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn't trade anything for her – nothing compares. I don't want you. You make me sick!" Charlie was yelling and I should have been concerned about the stress he was showing, but I was in shock at truth that was revealed; my mother had wanted to abort me.

She moved even closer to him and reached out to touch him on the face, he flinched back.

"Charles, I loved you. You knew that children weren't my thing and I made that clear from the beginning. She ruined us, it's her fault."

And then there were tears, the ones I promised myself I would never allow. They dripped down my cheeks and wet my lips, where I tasted their salty complex on my tongue.

Charlie exploded, coming to my defense."She ruined nothing! You can't blame your selfish decisions on an innocent little girl! She is my world and the day you left is the day my life truly began. I would pay the price of divorce a million times over if it meant one extra day with her. You have some nerve, Renee. How you can look your own daughter in the face and deny her only proves you weren't the person I thought you to be. It's time you-"

I hadn't even heard him come into the room and only was aware Edward was standing there when the monitor went dark.

"What are you doing?" I cried, wiping my face with the back of my hand.

He sat down next to me and put his arm around me. I snuggled into his side, sniffling. "Why would you do that to yourself, Bella?" He rubbed my arm, attempting to soothe me.

"I don't know," I said, sounding muffled against his chest.

"I have the urge to throw her out myself, after those things she said. But, it's obvious your dad has your back, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess he does," I let out a cross between a sniffle and a laugh.

I sat back up, rearranging myself so that I was facing him.

"You're beautiful, even with a tear stained face," he said out of the blue. He quickly looked down.

That elicited a deep laugh. "You have strange timing," I answered, kicking at his shoe while I stared at the floor.

"I'm working on it," he answered tenderly, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. I relaxed when he touched my hair. I loved feeling the stirrings of mutual attraction between us again.

"How much did you hear?"

"Everything you did; I was just outside your door the entire time."

"Thanks for shutting it off," I said.

"I have no idea why you're being subjected to such bullshit but you have to know those things she said have nothing to do with you."

"Have you ever known anyone who's mother hated them before they were born?" I tried to shake the sadness away, but shuddered involuntarily instead.

Edward tentatively took my hand in his; our intertwined hands rested on my thigh. He sought out eye contact. "That doesn't matter." He squeezed my hand in a reassuring gesture. "What does matter is the amazing person you've turned out to be. Compassionate, loving, selfless, strong..." he trailed off, and broke into a smile when he saw my own appear.

"I could go on," he said.

"That's okay, I think you've inflated me enough."

"Never," he said, shaking his head.

"What do I do?" I seriously needed someone to instruct me on how to proceed.

"I can't tell you what to do, but if I were you, I'd walk back downstairs with my head held high."

"Will you come with?"

"Actually, I was thinking about hanging behind in your bedroom." He bounced up and down in the spot where he sat. "I sort of like it here." He quirked an eyebrow before breaking out in a laugh.

"You should see the look on your face," he said through his chuckling.

I pursed my lips tightly and slugged him in the arm playfully.

"I'm going downstairs, make yourself at home." I stood up and walked out the door, he followed right behind.

Though the door was closed, I could hear that the altercation was continuing. Part of me wanted to walk in there, shout some not-so-sweet words and physically throw down. I never thought I would meet her, actually, I never wanted to. I despised her and felt zero connection. I wanted to put her out of my head, scrape the surface of my brain, but alas, it was not a hard drive and could not be wiped.

I sat on the couch but felt instantly jittery. I needed to get out.

"Edward, can I ask a huge favor of you?"

"Anything." Edward's compassion was effortless.

"Do you mind staying here for a while? I think I'm going to go for a drive."

"I'll stay, no problem. Just, um, where are you going?"

"First beach at La Push. It's my place – where I go when I need some breathing room. I wish you could come too."

"Maybe another time?" he offered.

I nodded before grabbing my keys and wallet off the kitchen counter. When I turned around he was standing right there.

He extended his arms and I submitted to them.

"Promise me you're okay to be by yourself?" he asked, clinging to me.

"I am. I just think it would be better if I didn't see her again. I need to let it go and I can't do that if I'm here."

"Don't be long, your dad will worry."

"My dad, huh?" I asked skeptically.

He didn't answer me, but released me from his embrace.

"I'll call on my way back, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan." He smiled out of the corner of his mouth. If I didn't know better I would have thought it was a smug expression.

"Thanks for...being here."

He nodded and I took off.

I drove along the slick road, as the rain came down in thick drops, making for an obscured view through the windshield; my wipers only ran at one speed: slow.

I turned on the radio, attempting to drown out my thoughts, it didn't work. How had she found out about Charlie? Why did she show up? It was obvious she had no regret over her choice concerning me. The only feelings she expressed were in direct reference to Charlie. No matter what anyone said, I heard it myself; I was the reason she left. I was oddly at peace with that understanding. I knew it wasn't my fault, although she didn't want me, but Charlie? He had chosen me. He made up for everything she wasn't. What continued to nag at me is that this amazing man, who had made the most noble choices in his life, was being robbed of it. Meanwhile, Renee, an absentee, anesthetized shell of a mother, would be free to disappear as quickly as she had appeared, and go on living as though I never existed. She had failed me, not the other way around. Clarity found me before I reached the beach. I wasn't mad at her for showing up, but I resented the fact that she wasn't the one in Charlie's position; an awful but honest feeling. I pulled up at the beach; the rain was rivering down the windows and everything was a moving, grayish picture through them. It was clearly not a good day to hang down by the water, even from my blurry vantage point it looked punishing and furious. I decided to try and wait for a while, to see if the rain let up. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths through my nose, and thought about Edward. He was so present on my mind; I couldn't stop it, and this beach had some other worldly effect on me. The feelings came back in a flood, there was no gradual resurfacing. I wanted him in ways I would only admit to myself for the time being. I must have been there for about a half an hour when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

It was Edward. My heart rose to action, beating insistently in my chest. I just knew something was wrong; I felt it.

"What's wrong?" I answered.

He sounded collected, measured. "Bella, are you driving?"

"No, what's wrong," I insisted.

"I had the paramedics come get him..." he stalled.

"Tell, me damn it!"

"I think he may have had another heart attack."

"Was she still there when it happened?" I asked, burning and bitter at the thought.

"No, she left about ten minutes prior." He sounded relieved he had something positive to say.

"Alright, I'm hanging up and on my way."

"Bella!" he shouted piercingly into the phone. "Are you okay to drive?""

"I'll be safe." I hung up the phone.

It took great will power to drive the stormy roads slowly, but I found it. The drive seemed to take hours, was this day really real? It seemed impossibly bad, a living nightmare. I pulled up and parked in the first spot I found. I didn't even bother to lock my truck before I bolted though the sliding glass doors to the emergency room.

I ran straight to information desk. Edward wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"Are you family?" she asked, I was scanning the hall.

"His daughter," I answered, quickly.

She directed me to bay six, down the hall and around the corner I didn't sprint, but I practically jogged until number six was in my view. I turned into the curtain and nearly ran over Edward.

Instead of stopping me and trying to subdue my nerves, he guided me around him with a steady hand. Charlie looked much worse that after the first heart attack. He was hooked up to a variety of monitors and wore bi-pap that seemed to be hooked up to oxygen.

Edward answered a question I hadn't asked out loud. "He's going to be okay, but he did have a heart attack. They gave him something to help him sleep and they're observing him. He'll likely be admitted." His voice was solemn comfort. Charlie looked so pale, so...sunken.

"It was the stress, wasn't it?" I asked pointedly.

"It was probably inevitable but the stress likely played a role."

"I hate this day," I murmured.

"I don't blame you," he assured.

"If she ever comes back, she's not getting through me."

"She won't, Charlie made it clear she wasn't welcome."

"He did?" I asked, touched in the oddest of ways.

"Yeah, he was adamant and pretty satisfied with himself afterward."

Edward took a step closer to me. I involuntarily nodded at him. "He'll be out for a while, should we hang out in the waiting room?"

"No, I'm not leaving him this time. I'll be here as long as he is."

"Do you mind if I stay then?"

He wanted to keep me company?

"No, it would be...nice."

He gestured to the two, uncomfortable looking chairs to the side. I took the silent suggestion.

"I'm sure you would like to forget this day," Edward said, taking the chair next to me.

"Understatement," I said cheekily.

"Are you overwhelmed?"

"I am. There's nothing constant anymore and this day it's just...depressing."

"I know this day has been shitty beyond belief, but Charlie is going to be okay." He was sincerely trying to point out the very minimal bright side of the situation.

"For now. But I can't count on tomorrow anymore. I can't count on anything."

He grimaced, his "tell" danced across his face, paining his near-perfect features.

Had my choice of words upset him?

I didn't have time to decipher or ask a follow up question; Charlie was awake and the first word that fell from his lips was my name.

I jumped up and was at his side in a flash. "Dad, I'm right here." I took his hand between both of mine, it was warm - at least his circulation was good, a small victory in our day on the battlefield.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Tired." His voice was hoarse and I could tell it took him amazing effort to utter the single word.

"It's okay to sleep; I'm not going anywhere," I soothed him.

"Home," he managed.

"I know that's where you want to be, but looks like we're hunkering down here for the night."

He shook his head. "No, you."

"No way. I know you're my dad and all but I'm not leaving you this time."

"Later," he said, begging me with his glassy eyes.

Completely disregarding his persistence, I said, "You should try to sleep some more. You've had quite a day and it's only two o'clock."

He nodded "yes" and closed his weary eyes; he was out within thirty seconds, snoring almost immediately.

I could feel that Edward was still in the room, and gently unclasping my dad's hand and resting it on the mattress, I turned around.

"Promise me you won't gang up on me and force me to go home?" I requested, before he had a chance to speak himself.

"You've been through enough today. I have not intentions of making it worse." He placed his hand over his heart, sealing the promise with his gesture.

An hour later the on call cardiologist came in and downloaded the state of the Charlie union. He had suffered a heart attack, as Edward had relayed. It was again due to the combination of stress and the wear of the disease on his body. Of course, they were admitting him. They came to move him to a room after forty minutes or so - he was so exhausted he didn't even stir. I was brought down another notch when he was deposited into a room that already had a patient, no privacy this time. Yeah, this day had a theme going: expect the worst.

"Edward, it's nearly five. You can go if you want. It's been a long day." I wasn't trying to get rid of him, I just thought he might be ready for an out.

"You know they won't let you sleep in here tonight."

"I'll make myself comfy in the waiting room then."

"Personally, I'm starved. I'm going to scope out the vending machines, can I grab you something?"

"Not hungry."

"Okay, well...I'll be right back."

He left the room and I missed him immediately. Having such an array of conflicting emotions coursing through my system was exhausting me emotionally. I wanted to go back to bed, hit the snooze button and start the day over from the beginning. Could I have a redo please?

Edward came back within ten minutes. He handed me a bottle of water and a bag of trail mix.

"Thanks," I said.

"I know you're not hungry but you might change your mind later."

He was crunching on some pretzels and had his own bottle of water. We sat there quietly for almost an hour. Charlie woke up again.

He was much more alert and had regained some of his color. His speech, though still thready and tentative, had improved. "Edward, may I have a few moments alone with my daughter?"

Without speaking, he nodded and disappeared from the room.

"Dad, what is it?" I was at his side.

"Pull up a chair, settle in close. I have something I need to say."

Each word came out slower than the last. I could tell he still needed plenty of rest.

"Can it wait?" I didn't want him to overexert himself as he had clearly done late in the morning.

He shook his head, negative. He pulled the Bi-pap mask away from his face.

"You should have never been subjected to today. There have been things I kept from you to protect you - things you never needed to know because they didn't matter. I don't know what you heard or didn't hear, but you need to know things now. First, I love you."

"Dad, I know-"

He held up his hand to silence me. I obeyed without a moments hesitation.

"When I first met her, Renee was a much different person, but she changed even before you were born. About a month before she found out she was pregnant, she made a proposal to me - she wanted an open marriage. I was floored and disgusted. We fought about it and I basically expressed there was no way in hell I would consider it. And then, just as abruptly as she had brought it up, she dropped it. She made a noticeable effort towards me and eventually, that led to...you."

I really didn't want to define what he meant by those words, but I got the gist.

"Anyway, when she found out she was carrying you, she did say and suggest awful things. She grew cold towards me; bitter and accusatory. But the hardest part for me? I felt blissful the moment I found out she was pregnant and I couldn't share in that with her. I was overjoyed in a way that caught me off guard and grabbed me by the soul. From the moment I knew about you, nothing else mattered. For nine months, her miserable nature was overshadowed by the thought of you. I was wrapped around your little finger before I even saw that heart of yours pumping on the ultrasound monitor. It was the best sound I ever heard. And we found out at that moment we were having a little girl."

Tears had resurfaced in my eyes and began overflowing; my dad had never been so open with me.

"I had hoped that she would warm up to things after that experience, but she continued to sour. I knew if that couldn't affect her, there was very little hope. I tried to be supportive and avoid arguing, solely to protect you, because nothing else was more important. I did put in some extra hours at the station to avoid her nastiness, but I had to be there - I wanted to be close to you. She would roll her eyes when I talked to her belly, but I didn't care. I felt like I was the one carrying you," he gave me a stern look before continuing. "That gets repeated to no one."

I nodded my promise and eagerly awaited his continuation.

"The point is, Bella, it doesn't matter what she said to me today. You are my every joy, my greatest love and my happily ever after. Sometimes the person you're most connected to is not a spouse, or significant other, and when it comes down to it, you're my flesh and blood and she's not. Nothing matters to me more than you."

I sobbed softly, absorbing every word he spoke. He had sealed the wound Renee had opened that morning. Charlie had never been able to express the depth of his emotions, but his words that day I would cling to for the rest of my own life. They held more importance than life itself.

"I love you so much," I said. Sucking in a breath, I decided he needed to hear something positive from me. "There's something I want to tell you, too."

I could tell he had been fatigued by yet another expenditure of precious energy. He looked relieved that it was my turn to talk.

"I know what I want to do with my life." His dull eyes brightened.

"You do?"

"I've given it some thought and one day it just came to me. You know how I love to cook, right?"

"Yes'm, I do."

"Well, I sort of, kind of decided I want to go to culinary school."

He was so overjoyed he started laughing. "That's perfect, I can even picture you in a chef's hat."

"I'm not sold on that fashion accessory, Alice would have a field day." We laughed in unison.

Things were set right again.

Just then, a nurse entered the room. "Mr. Swan, how are you feeling?"

"Not bad considering the day. I'm very, very tired."

"I'm going to give you something to help with that. You'll probably sleep straight through the night."

"Sounds peachy," he said sarcastically, as she left the room. "Bella, don't make me argue; I want you to head home tonight."

"Dad, please don't do this to me." I put my foot down.

"Hey, there's enough poking and prodding going on in this joint; I don't need to be worrying about you sleeping in a florescent-lit waiting room all night."

He made it so difficult to make a fair case.

"I hate being apart from you."

"Sweetheart, we're never apart." Heart meet throat.

The nurse came back. "How long until he heads to la la land?" I asked.

"About five minutes after I push this." She held up a bottle of clear liquid. The doctor wants him to recuperate, and rest is going to be the best thing for him at this point." She was saccharine sweet. "It really will put him out, even with us meddling and taking his stats every four hours."

"Will you go home now?" he asked, pleading with his skeptical glare.

I stood up, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. "For you, even though it's going to kill me."

I bent down and kissed him on his cheek, an indent left by the mask still present there. He smelled of medicine and plastic, but his woodsy, natural aroma, one that comforted me on a cellular level, was still present beneath their artificial veil.

"Sweetie, tell Edward thank you for me."

The nurse pushed the meds into his IV. He was out within a minute.

"How early can I come back tomorrow?" I asked her.

"Visiting hours start at nine in the morning, but feel free to come by around eight, we aren't as strict as they would like us to be here."

"What's your name?"

"Dawn."

"Thank you, Dawn."

"You're welcome, dear. We'll take good care of him; I promise."

I grabbed my purse and with a casual wave at Dawn, and one last look at my dad, left the room.

I found Edward in the waiting room.

He stood up as soon as he noticed me.

"Everything all right?"

"Yeah, take me home." Relief was clear on his face.

He extended his hand in the direction of the elevator ad if to say "after you" and I followed the gesture.

And, without another word, he drove me home.

I was so overwrought, I had no emotion left to expend. We didn't talk much, I just mindlessly flipped through stations on the tube. Though I did nothing to entertain him, Edward stayed the entire night, falling asleep on the couch, next to me. We had evolved in a way, his presence more than enough to comfort me. I didn't have questions, nor did I try to read into any signs, I just was. What mattered most was that I wasn't alone.

For once, I actually believed it.

Renee is based on a RL person that is fortunately NOT my mother, though she was indirectly a part of my family. Please leave your thoughts in the way of a review.