DISCLAIMER: I own nothing
A/N:I know updates have been scatty, but I will try and give you some more regular updates!
For now, enjoy this chapter and know I am grateful for the continual support =)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- To Love and Lose -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"How you doing, PG?" Emily asked as she sat down one side of Penelope, JJ dropping down to her other side.
Smiling lightly, Penelope didn't look at either of them, "Better than before." She admitted softly to them.
"We thought you might like the company," JJ said as she rested her head on Penelope's shoulder, getting comfortable.
"That and our favourite pastime is sat in front of the TV," Emily added on joking and when Penelope only let out a little grunt of a laugh she knew she wouldn't pressure Penelope to speak if she didn't want to. She wouldn't harass her or hound her to talk. She respected Penelope's mental state and she knew Penelope would break out the words when she was ready to do so.
JJ seemed to do the same as they sat in relative silence, Derek in the kitchen with the other men.
Both women reached and took Penelope's hands in theirs and just sat in easy silence and watched the television together. Something hadn't happened for what may have been years.
Penelope looked down as they both took her hands in theirs and held them as they just sat with her.
She knew they deserved some home truths, some truths she felt she owed them. She needed to know that her actions weren't a reaction of them not doing something right. No one drove her to the point she had reached apart from Kevin.
"Never think it was your fault that I did what I did," Penelope told them quietly and looked from one to the other as JJ lifted her head up. "You have been nothing but supportive since all of this came to light, and I couldn't ask for better best friends to be by my side. I just got lost and I couldn't cope so I chose a weak way to forget." Penelope sniffled on the oncoming tears, "I wished it had turned out differently."
"All that matters is the here and now," JJ said, but she couldn't hide the droplets of sadness from infiltrating her tone. She had been so scared when she had heard what Penelope had done. She had sat and watched Penelope fall into her own demise and then this happened. She had felt like she had lost her ability to be a good friend. "We can only get better from here."
Penelope nodded.
"Derek told us you thought it was a mistake the moment you passed out," Emily confided in Penelope. "You're not weak, Penelope. I would never peg that term with you. You were just conflicted by what Kevin did to you, what happened with Derek and then losing that baby. We didn't expect you to be okay after all that. Just understand that we feel like we let you down that you had to reach that point."
"Call a truce?" Penelope asked as she saw both her favourite girls conflicted by all of these actions from the past couple of months. She watched both nod and smiled, "We make a better future..."
"Count it done," JJ said and hugged Penelope, "But you dare ever scare me like that and you won't hear the end of it."
"I promise you right now, Jayje, I will not be doing that again," Penelope said almost in a relieved tone.
Settling down, they watched the TV once more, the air around them even cleaner than it had been.
"Reid basically exploded at work," Emily commented suddenly as Reid went to walk through to the downstairs bathroom. His presence reminding her of the day's events.
Penelope looked at Emily confused then and then at Reid as JJ burst into a little laugh.
"What?" He asked innocently, "I was trying to make my physics magic better." He shrugged off and carried on walking passed.
"So much so it exploded into his face," Emily joked amused, "Covered him in white foam." She then shifted to get her phone out of her pocket. "Look," She said as she put the phone in front of Penelope's face showing her the evidence.
Penelope laughed then. It felt so easy and free. It felt just right.
Hearing the sound of laughter, Derek left Hotch and Rossi and went into the living room and once again he saw Penelope laughing. She had done that a couple of times in the space of two days. Ever since getting her out of the hospital there seemed a new air around her and right now, he could believe that the past was really the past.
"Do I dare ask what's going on in here?" Rossi asked as he followed in Derek's footsteps and came into the room seeing all three ladies laughing. Penelope's laughter hitting him the most – it was almost foreign after so long.
"Reid," JJ said in amongst her laughter and Rossi picked up and chuckled again to himself. Hotch quickly grappling on to what they were laughing about.
"Have I missed the point here or something?" Derek asked warily at what he was going to be shown.
Penelope grabbed Emily's phone and handed it to him, trying to calm down and the moment Derek saw he burst into hysterics again. He knew that image would ever leave his mind.
"Hey kid," Derek said as Reid came into the room, his voice calm. "You got a little white stuff here," He said and stroked down his own face to show Reid. He watched Reid started to wipe his face violently.
"Son of a-" He started but stopped when he heard Derek laughing him. "Remember the last time you pulled a prank on me?" He asked and Derek nodded, still chuckling away. "I'll make sure you never forget my scream."
"Trust me Kid," Derek said as he finally calmed completely, "I still have forgotten it from the first time. I'm scared to put my headphones on nowadays."
"Good," Reid said satisfied and looked at Penelope, "Glad I could make you laugh. It's good for you."
"Oh Boy Wonder, that was just what I needed, believe me," She said as she wiped the tear that was forming in the corner of her eye. She couldn't lie, having the ability to laugh back gave her a lot of clarity and have her a lot of her optimism back.
"By the way," Emily said as she reached down into the bag she had dropped prior to sitting down, "We brought your favourites." She finished as she dumped the large bag of strawberry twizzlers.
Penelope melted into a small smile. She hadn't had these in months. Not since her last movie night with Derek before hell broke loose anyway. They had always been a permanent fixture to their evenings and every time she had looked at a bag during hers and Derek's estrangement she had felt her heart clench fiercely and the heart break intensified.
"Open 'erm up, Baby Girl. I haven't had one of these for months." Derek instructed and saw a twist of tease ignite across Penelope's face. His smile began even before Penelope had spoken a word.
"That's like one of your welcomes after a long case," Penelope teased, "Like music to my ears, Sugar." She then winked at Derek.
"We're in the room!" JJ exclaimed loudly and quickly trying to remove the comments from her brain.
Rossi crossed his arms over his chest, "It's true old habits die hard."
"You'd know," Hotch commented jokingly getting a knowing look from Rossi.
"C'mon, it was only a matter of time before this started again," Emily added on confidently. "It's been long awaited!"
"She's right, you have all be complaining that life at work got boring. Now I think it's safe to say it won't be now," Hotch replied truthfully. He was just happy to see the old Penelope sparking back to life at long last.
"And I vow it stays that way," Penelope said as she finally opened the packet and threw a sweet a Derek and the offered them around.
"Right, so what's the plan?" Hotch asked as he checked his watch, "I've got to go pick Jack up and come back."
"And Will's heading over with Henry in about half hour," JJ added on as she realised the time.
Penelope took a twizzler and then stood up, "I think it's time we ordered something for dinner." She then walked into the kitchen, going straight for the drawer with all the menus in, but Derek stopped her, spinning her around to face him.
"I need to ask you something," Derek said as he and Penelope stood in the kitchen, the team in the living room still. He pulled her close to his body, their bodies nearly touching.
Penelope looked at him, her eyes matching his and took a bite from the strawberry sweet. "Go for it, Handsome."
Taking a deep breath, Derek persisted. "Think you're ready for this?" Derek asked cautiously as he held the ring up between them. "I mean, it's up to you. If you're not I'll put it away until you are."
Penelope smiled at him coyly and put her finger to his lips to stop his ramble, "I'm ready for my forever now, Handsome." She told him truthfully, reaching up to kiss him, the twizzler dropping to the floor. She allowed him to slide the ring down her finger as they kissed and she smiled as she pulled away. "I'm ready for my happily ever after with you."
"Again," Derek teased her lightly and saw her smile at that comment. "This time we're gonna get this entirely right, Baby Girl."
"No looking back this time," Penelope whispered as the light took over and eclipsed all darkness. She wouldn't let any of her past demons into her life ever again.
Penelope had finally found the light at the end of the tunnel.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- To Love and Lose -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-