Sorry about the delay! Life has been a bit hectic. My step father seemingly lost his bloody mind and had my mum arrested for no reason, and my mum finally admitted that he was being emotionally and mentally abusive to her. So yeah, my mum has moved in with me and we're working on getting things sorted out (and, you know, wondering how my crazy ass step father has managed to live sixty years without being sectioned…). Hope you enjoy the chapter! And that you all had a lovely holiday season, whatever religion you may follow or beliefs you may have! :D
Chapter Twenty
Harry grumpily - because he really hadn't had enough sleep since Dumbledore was a dick and chased Harry out of his house and away from his business - walked to the headstone of Tom Riddle Sr, muttering under his breath about inconsiderate gods who chose three in the bloody morning to be named. And not just any morning. No, a morning in the middle of bloody winter. He was freezing his metaphoric tits off for a god he didn't even follow.
"Have you stopped feeling sorry for yourself yet because we're at the grave and you really should start writing the runes so we can get to Thornborough in time."
Harry just glared at Ignotus before doing what he'd told him to do and drawing the required runes that he would need to take him to Thornborough and the final god he had to name. When he drew the last rune, he took a deep breath and mentally sent a prayer to Beli for good luck before stepping through the gate.
Stepping through, Harry looked around him at where he'd ended up before turning to face Ignotus, "is this it?"
"Most show awe over this sight," Ignotus drawled, making Harry roll his eyes.
"Sorry. Oooh! Aah! Is this it?"
"Yes, this is it. Now don't you have someone to summon and name? Stop putting it off. It's better to just get it over and done with."
Harry sighed, but nodded his head and knelt on the floor. He was well aware that he really couldn't carry on delaying the inevitable. Besides, Amatheon was probably exaggerating. With that thought, Harry pressed his hands into the grass and concentrated on calling the final god, shuddering slightly as the largest wave of energy yet crashed over him, taking with it a large chunk of his own and leaving him feeling drained and wiped out.
"Oh now, I understand why my darling big brother tried to keep you away from me. Aren't you just the most delicious specimen of mortal Death." Harry felt that he was well within his right to just gape at the strange man he had called to him and dared anyone else to do differently had they found themselves in his position. "Ah, has my sheer awe inspiring masculinity struck you dumb? I have found I have that effect on people."
"For the love of all that is dead, please name him so we can leave this human shaped waste of hot air," Ignotus drawled, but even he looked shocked when the god turned to look directly at him, though really they shouldn't have been considering what he was god of.
"Hmm, you must be the precious little necromancer's spirit guide. Really, hot stuff, you should have gone the route of the Native American's and chosen an animal. They tend to talk back less."
"Right! Okay! Thank you. Do you want me to name you or should I just let you and Ignotus get into a petty and quite frankly pointless argument, whilst continuing on as though I'm not here? Would that be better? Because I really couldn't care which way you decide! Sweet Beli, I thought Amatheon was exaggerating in his warnings of you and yet through them all, he never once mentioned just how annoying you were!" Harry ranted, glaring at both Ignotus and the god, who were staring back at him in stunned silence.
"Feisty, I like it. And I would much rather know the name you will be giving me so that I can imagine you yelling it in ecstasy," the god said, making Harry stare at him blankly. He might be slightly dense, and he would be the first to admit that most flirting went straight over his head, but even he caught on to that. It honestly made him uncomfortable. And feel a little violated.
Deciding to ignore that part, if only for his own sanity, Harry just gave the god a once over, taking in the being's appearance properly for the first time and noticing without much surprise that the man was taller than him by about a foot. His slightly intimidating presence only enhanced by his pale, almost grey, skin tone and deep burgundy red hair. His red tinted brown eyes only added to the man's inhuman aura, and a long scar across his left eye gave the impression that he should be taken seriously, despite his seemingly flirtatious personality. Noticing that the god was giving him the once over in return, before leering at him, Harry just rolled his eyes and tried to hide his discomfort at someone openly showing interest in him.
"Like what you see, my most delicious little death?"
"I dunno. I expected something more. My Lord Beli is much more intimidating."
"What?! He's a midget! How is that intimidating?"
"He's taller than me. And He's Death. Most find that intimidating enough."
"And I am the keeper of those He sends on! I'm plenty intimidating!"
"Maybe. You probably come fourth, below My Lord, Aeron and Amatheon."
"You have to be kidding me! Sure, I understand Beli and Aeron is a given, he's the god of battle and slaughter, enough said there. But Amatheon?! God of flowers, trees and other frankly girly things? Come on! I'm totally more intimidating than him!"
"You weren't there when Lord Amatheon first started this whole thing. Seemed pretty intimidating to me. All mist and shadows and moving trees," Ignotus muttered, which just made Harry roll his eyes as the gods attention was once more on the only present spirit.
"I could create mist and shadows!"
"Right now, I just want to name you so I can get back to my warm bed. Alone," Harry added quickly upon noticing the god smirk before going to say something, likely lewd.
"Fine, then name me, Chosen of Death. Then we can get out of here to where ever it is you live."
"I call you to me, Lord Arawn, Lord of Annwfn," Harry said, before doing a double take and gaping at Arawn. "What did you just say?! You can't come with me! Why would you do that?!"
"Because I can and because I don't currently have anything to do with this war my brethren have going on. And really, war is a bit of a stretch. It's pretty passive aggressive right now. No, it will be much more interesting following you around for a bit. And thank you for the name. It's been a while since I went by Arawn. Maybe I should start a hunt soon. My Cwn Annwn will be getting restless I bet."
"I bet they are. You should go and do that! No time to be following a boring little mortal like me around."
"Oh no, they can wait a bit. Besides I need to get used to this new world you fascinating little humans have created. So lead the way home! I promise to be quiet as a mouse and get into no trouble at all."
"That doesn't sooth me at all. I had a mouse in my cottage once. The annoying little thing made a shocking amount of noise for something so bloody tiny. No wonder the Mrs Lovett's cat seemed to have no trouble catching them at all. Still, I can see there really is no bloody stopping you. Come on, let's get back before someone notices that I'm missing," Harry said in a resigned tone, leading the way back to the gate that would take them back to Riddle Manor. He really didn't want to think what Voldemort's reaction would be to finding Arawn with him.
It was with a put upon expression and a tag along god that Harry cautiously made his way through the hallways of Riddle Manor and, due to his quickly plummeting luck, had the complete misfortune to bump into Voldemort, who seemed to have been heading towards the exit of the manor when he came across Harry and Arawn.
The expression on the Dark Lord's face promptly clued Harry in that he wasn't impressed with the tag along following Harry - and staring at his arse if Harry could take a guess. And admittedly listened to Ignotus' mutterings before the spirit had left the two for the Green Room before entering the Manor.
"Who, Mr Peverell, is that?" Voldemort hissed, practically spinning on his heel to face the opposite direction and heading back towards, Harry assumed, his office. There was no doubt in either Harry or Arawn's minds that they were supposed to follow him. Though a strange part of Harry would have loved to have found out just what would have happened had Voldemort tried to put Arawn under crucio.
All three quickly arrived at Voldemort's office and walked in before Harry and Arawn took a seat in front of Voldemort's desk, Harry trying not to fidget at the glower Voldemort was sending his way.
"Well, Mr Peverell?"
"Voldemort, how are you today?" Harry asked with a bright grin, mentally running through his mind for a decent excuse on why Arawn was with him. The god in question was currently just watching the two mortals (demi-mortals? Harry was still a little confused on that one) with a giant smirk on his smug, annoying face.
"Why have you invited someone into my house, Mr Peverell? Who is he?" Voldemort asked him, clearly not amused by Harry's evasion of the question if the near glowing red eyes were any indication.
"Oh! This is er… Ar…ry!" Harry said, not even bothering hiding his wince at the awful name. Really, he just did not do well under pressure.
"Arry?"
"Yep."
"Arry and Harry?"
Harry paused at that and mentally face-planted. Why he couldn't have thought of a better name for Arawn, he had no idea. Really, he just shouldn't be trusted to come up with plans. Especially plans on the fly.
"Yes?"
"Are you asking me or telling me? Nevermind. Just tell me the truth. I know he's not muggle, as he wouldn't be able to enter. So what is he? Is he another necromancer?" Voldemort asked, and Harry racked his brain to try and recall if he'd ever told Voldemort that he was the last necromancer or not.
"False Lord Slytherin, young Horatio here is stalling as he was informed by our Lord Death not to say too much about his tasks. However, I was recently told that should I need to go to Horatio, then to let you know what and who I am," Arawn said smoothly, making Harry gape at him like an idiot and silently wonder when he'd told the god what his full name was. And when Voldemort was going to kill them both for calling him a false lord anything.
"And? Your name?" Voldemort prompted with forced patience when it looked like Arawn wasn't going to tell him.
"Oh, of course. I am Rowan and I am a spirit warrior who has been sent by Lord Death to watch over Horatio for a brief while."
"Indeed? And how long would this visit be? And am I supposed to house you here?" Voldemort asked scathingly, not looking like he believed them in the least and making Harry worry that Voldemort was about to experiment on spells that could possibly injure or even kill a necromancer. Really, since the gods came into his life, Harry hasn't been able to spend more than a day wondering exactly that.
"I'm not too sure how long I'll be here, but there is no need for you to put yourself out. I will be staying in the same room as Horatio."
"You will?!" Harry squeaked, but coughing and laughing nervously. "I mean, yes, of course. Great! Brilliant. It'll be like a sleepover." From hell, Harry silently added, mentally groaning and wondering just how many puppies he'd killed in a past life to compensate what he was going through now. His karma must have been in the negative numbers or something.
"Well, if that is everything, then you and your… warrior may leave me, Mr Peverell," Voldemort told him, sneering when he called Arawn a warrior and clearly letting his thoughts on that show to the two. Harry didn't bother saying anything, just sighed and nodded, before leading Arawn out of the office. It clearly wasn't like he had any say in his fate.
Once they were in the relative safety of his room, Harry spun around to face Arawn, who leant agains the closed door with a smirk on his face. "What the hell was that?! Oh god, I'm going to die! Do you want me to die?!" Harry asked, having moved forward and shaking the annoying cocky god by the shoulders.
"Why ever would I want you to die? Though I suppose, were you to die, then you would become partially under my jurisdiction. However, you'll be much more interesting and fun for me alive. So no, I don't want you dead. Why ever would you think that?"
"How do you think?! We're in the bloody home of the Dark Lord! And you said you were a bloody spirit warrior! What the hell is a spirit warrior?! Oh my god, I'm going to get killed!" Harry wailed, tugging at his hair before grabbing his bone bag and pulling them out before walking to the small table in the room.
"What are you doing with those? Who do you think could help you with them? I'm Lord of Annwfn! I hold partial control over spirits!" Arawn said, following behind Harry. Harry just smirked at him and then bit hard on his thumb to draw blood before he wiped it on one specific bone and threw them.
"You don't have any control over this one," Harry informed him, smiling brightly when the shadows in the room grew just as the temperature dropped and Arawm gaped at him.
"Oh come on! You called daddy Death! That is playing dirty! Why would you do- Ah, Hello, Beli. Nice to see you here," Arawn said just as Beli appeared in the room from the darkest shadow nearest to Harry.
Beli narrowed his eyes at Arawn before glancing to Harry and then rolling his eyes. "You have been Named and Summoned for less than an hour and already you are causing trouble for my necromancer. Why, Arawn, must you be so difficult? Do not think I don't know what you're planning. I know and I am not impressed. Prove you are worthy before you overstep your mark. He is still mine. And he always will be," Beli warned, before He pressed a hand to Harry's head and ran his fingers though his hair affectionately. He then turned and gave Harry a warm smile before stepping out of the room via shadows once more.
"Well played, Little Death Speaker. Well played indeed. Fine, it'll look even more suspicious if I should suddenly disappear after having claimed to be your protector. However, I will prove myself worthy. Call for me when you wake up, Little Death, and I shall come to you. For now, sleep safely," Arawn told him, handing Harry a knuckle bone that he'd got from Lord knows where, Harry really wasn't sure he wanted to know and he wasn't entirely certain his mind would be able to take any more surprises that night. So instead of asking questions or even saying anything at all, Harry just gave a small nod and turned to put all his bones back in their pouch. When he turned back around, Arawn was gone from the room and Harry felt like he could sleep for a week.
Harry had managed to survive almost a full week with Arawn following him around Riddle Manor, acting like the spirit warrior he was supposed to be - and Harry had, admittedly, considered not calling for him that first morning after Naming him, but decided it wasn't worth the hassle - and generally not making too much of a nuisance of himself. Well, no more a nuisance than Harry's general presence tended to imply he was.
So it didn't come as much surprise when Ignotus and Cadmus, both eyeing Arawn warily and glaring when the arrogant god just grinned at them around the cigarette - that Harry quite honestly had no clue where he'd gotten it from - in his mouth, showed up in front of him with somewhat worrying news. Well, worrying for him at least.
"So what's the problem?" Harry asked, wondering just how his little hidey hole could feel cramped when two of the people in there didn't actually have any physical presence to speak of.
"It would seem that, despite the spells the Dark Lord has cast over Little Hangleton, the tenacious villagers have started to notice your prolonged absence and are now starting to wonder if they should report it to the police. I believe the only reason they haven't thus far is because they do not wish to be a bother," Cadmus said, with a small roll of his eyes.
"They're English, of course they don't want to be a bother. Isn't that like rule number eight? You now, don't go to the police, doctors, emergency services, etc unless you've possibly lost a limb or in serious risk of death. Just in case you're being a bother. Pretty sure it's rule eight."
"What are you blithering on about?" Cadmus snapped, whilst Arawn chuckled and Ignotus sighed. Harry just shrugged sheepishly.
"Right, well, what should I do then? I can't let them go to the police, that would just cause loads of questions I don't want asked, never mind answered," Harry said with a groan, just thinking about what could be dragged up if the police got involved.
"You could ask the gods for help, after all, it is partially their fault that you're in this mess in the first place," Ignotus pointed out with a sly glance at Arawn, who just rolled his eyes.
"The younger annoying brother does have a point. It wouldn't take much to call some to you. I would suggest Mabon and Modron first as they do not have any involved tasks just yet. We can go to that little copse of trees outside should you wish to avoid leaving the wards," Arawn told him. Harry gave a nod and stood up, closing the book he had been flipping through out of boredom - and the sheer need to ignore Arawn's slightly intimidating presence.
It didn't take them long to make their way to the copse and, using the guidance of Arawn, within a couple of minutes Mabon and Modron were standing in front of them, Modron glowering at Arawn for reasons Harry wasn't sure he wanted to know.
"You called for us, Thegn of Beli," Mabon said, ignoring the daggers his sister was currently glaring at Arawn like it was a regular occurrence. Which, if Harry hadn't only just Named Arawn a week ago, he would think was the case.
"Yes, I have a favour to ask."
"Go on, the worst we can do is refuse," Modron said, almost having to drag herself away from the glaring contest she was having with Arawn. The fairly, admittedly, one-sided contest.
"You could, but as was rightly pointed out earlier, the issue he needs you help with wouldn't have been much of an issue in the first place had we given him our aid right from the start," Arawn pointed out in a lazy drawl, around yet another mysteriously acquired cigarette. Menthol ones if Harry's nose wasn't mistaken. Harry had to literally bite his tongue many a time to not ask him why he was smoking Dot Cotton fags. He probably would have if he didn't know it would be completely lost on the man.
"Then what is the problem?"
"Well, it would seem that the villagers have finally started to notice that I've been absent for a while and they're considering going to the police about it. We can't let that happen for obvious reasons, so I was wondering if there was any way you could help me," Harry asked, trying not to sound too pleading or like he was begging. He didn't have much dignity left so he didn't want to lose what little he did have.
"Hmm, that is quite the predicament. What would you like for us to do?"
"Could you open the bakery for me? Or get someone you trust to do it. You could tell the villagers that I have taken a sabbatical so that I can further my studies abroad. They'll believe you as it was well known that I was considering doing a new pastry and chocolatier course in Germany to expand on my skills. Tell them I hadn't expected to be gone so long but when I realised the opportunity I had, that I contacted some old family friends so they could reopen my bakery for me."
"That does sound like a good idea, young thegn. It would also help us in our original task we had upon waking so it will not inconvenience us. Neither of us are expected to be involved in the coming war but your bakery will give us a way to influence the non-magical mortals in the weeks leading up to it. So we will agree to your request. If you ask one of your spirit guides to watch over us, we can also send you reports back should we hear anything we think you should know about," Mabon agreed with a bright smile, dazzling Harry slightly before he shook his head and then smiled weakly back.
"Thank you. Let me know if you have any problems. Oh and Mrs Lovage will certainly start coming to you soon or her monthly WI meeting cake. When she does, she'll want gossip. I used to use the spirits to get some for me, so if you want I can ask Barty to send you any gossip I think she'll be interested in," Harry said, trying to think of anything else they would need to know. Mrs Lovage really was the most important one to remember as she was his most loyal customer. He had actually found himself missing her a little recently.
"I am sure we will be able to cope, but should we need any help, we'll let you know. Do you have a mobile? I've recently acquired one and if you have one, that would help immensely!" Mabon said with an excited grin, taking his phone out of his pocket. Modron just rolled her eyes from where she stood silently by her brothers side.
Harry stared at him in shock mentally thinking that Mabon really was taking his duties as the god of youth really seriously. Shaking his head and grinning sheepishly, Harry took his own rarely used phone out of his pocket. A phone that, in comparison to Mabon's, was a total brick and actually made Harry want to follow the trends for the first time ever. Not that he disliked his Nokia 5110. He could change the case and everything. Still, Mabon's was an actual flip phone. Shiny.
With a mental sulk, Harry handed his phone over to Mabon when he asked. "Here, program your number into it. How did you get a phone? Don't you need an address?"
"It's pay as you go. They didn't really ask any questions. Here you go!" Mabon said, handing his phone back to him. Harry took it and blinked at the new arial his phone now had that was green and the phone charm now dangling from it of a chibi version of Mabon himself. Harry just stared at it blankly before deciding not to ask. A trend that he seemed to be following more and more often as he spent more time around the gods. He silently resigned himself to accept that he was going to be perpetually baffled for the rest of his life from now on. "Er… thanks. So thank you for opening my shop for me. I should probably head back before any death eaters get curious and come to investigate. Text me if you need me! Bye!"
After that, Harry made a sharp getaway, and just in time because as he left the copse, Arawn - who had been following behind him - was dragged back by Modron by the back of his shirt. Harry saw this as his cue and briskly jog-walked back to the manor. Admittedly snickering to himself as he pictured Arawn's face when he was dragged back.
Later that night, when Harry was fast asleep and completely unaware of the silent glaring fight going on between Arawn and his ever present nighttime watchers, the shadows grew slightly before Beli stepped out and sighed upon seeing Arawn standing next to Harry's bed.
"Why are you here? Did you not tell my necromancer that you would leave him at night. This does not look like you are leaving him alone. Well, Arawn?" Beli asked, moving and placing himself between Arawn and Harry in a completely non-subtle move. Much to the amusement of the silently watching Peverell brothers.
"What business is it of your anyway, Beli? He may be your follower but that does not mean you control him. He has his own mind. Free will and all that jazz," Arawn said, smirking in a carefree way but everyone present and awake could hear the ice in his voice that told them he wasn't impressed with Beli interfering.
"He is mine to watch over and mine to protect, even if that means protecting him from overly familiar gods who overstep their boundaries."
"What boundaries? I am allowed to talk to him. And unless he tells me otherwise, I am allowed to be around him. You have no say in that."
"Maybe not, but I am here to warn you to leave Harry alone and not pressure him into anything unless Harry himself states he would be interested in starting a relationship with you. You make him uncomfortable with your blatant flirting and with Amatheon also doing the same whenever he is near Harry, I worry for my necromancer's sanity. Leave him alone, Arawn."
"Fine, I agree not to start anything with him unless Harry is the one to initiate it. But on the same topic, you cannot interfere should Harry start something with me. Or Amatheon should the poor demo-mortal completely lose his mind," Arawn said with a sneer, getting a snort of contemptuous amusement from Beli.
"At least on that we are in agreement. And fine. I suppose I can agree to not getting involved. For now."
"No, no for now. Forever, Beli. You cannot get involved if Harry ever decides he wants a relationship with anyone. After all, I'm well aware he has performed the ritual that makes it physically painful for him to touch mortals. You've taken that away from him, allow him the novelty of being able to touch someone without consequence. Without witnessing their death. Without feeling his cells breaking down and dying all at once. Step aside, Beli, and let your child grow and develop. Smothering him and threatening any prospective son in laws will just kill him in the end and you know it."
Beli glowered at the floor for a moment or two before He sighed and looked up to look at Arawn. He narrowed His eyes at him before finally seeing something positive as He then sighed once again and nodded His head. "You are, I suppose, right. I will step aside. But be warned should you hurt him or mess with him in anyway, Arawn. You are only immortal for as long as I allow it." And with that ominous statement that blew any other fatherly threat made throughout history out of the water, Beli disappeared back from where he had come but not without pressing a slightly possessive kiss to Harry's hair.
"I don't know why you're all looking amused. None of you can get involved either as it would be seen as working for Beli. I am completely free to court Harry should he show that he wishes it," Arawn stated smugly, before frowning when that just made the Peverell brother's all quietly burst into laughter.
"Good luck with that one, Lord Arawn. Harry is denser than a block of bricks when it comes to matters of the heart. Just ask young Bartemius. Short of telling him in simple terms that you are attracted to him, Harry will continue to think you are just overly friendly and a bit peculiar. There will be no need for us to even consider sabotaging you. Harry will do all that on his own without even thinking he is," Ignotus told him with a wide grin before dismissing the now stunned speechless god and turning back to his poker game with his brothers.
The completely unimportant and unrecognised - for now - date of January 17th arrived without much fanfare. In fact, there was absolutely no fanfare at all and it was still an entirely ignored date in the calendar. Still, Harry hadn't thought much of it until Arawn arrived in his room after he'd called for him and looked genuinely downhearted about something. An expression Harry hadn't honestly been sure the god even knew.
"Um… morning, Arawn. You look a little um… down today. Everything okay?"
"Alas, I have some bad news to give you. But don't fear, my Little Death, it isn't as bad as it may sound," Arawn said, completely losing Harry and making him wonder if the god had actually lost him mind. Or genuinely had something awful to tell Harry.
"Right… what's up?"
"Sadly I have been given a task to accomplish so it means that I will no longer be able to stay with you. Now, don't feel too downhearted at the thought of my absence, I'll still try to visit you whenever I can," Arawn said, leaning closer to Harry than was strictly necessary in Harry's opinion.
"Well, I'll er… I'll try not to be too sad?" Harry asked, not really sure he was awake enough for this conversation.
"You also have my bone should you need to call me. But also, if you ever feel the need to escape from everything that is going on, then you can hide in Annwfn. You have a safe passage in my underworld. All you need to do is draw my rune in your blood on a headstone, whilst holding my bone and thinking of escaping. It should create a gate that only you can safely enter and take you to Annwfn," Arawn told him, much to Harry's shock.
"You've just told me how to access Annwfn without having to die first. Why would you do that?"
"Because I think there may come a point when you'll have to hide. And what better place to hide than the underworld? Stay safe, Little Death, and call for me should you need me," Arawn told him before shocking Harry completely by grabbing his shoulders and pressing a kiss to his cheek. Harry touched his cheek with his hand when Arawn stepped back into the shadows, shocked. He'd completely forgotten that the gods could safely touch him.
A/N - So, how was it? Any good? I'd love to know why so many of you thought the final god was going to be Loki (seriously, where did you get that idea from?) but I hope Arawn hasn't disappointed! He's the god of Annwfn, which is the underworld/afterlife. So basically, he's the welsh version of Hades. Or Anubis, if we stick with Beli's love of Egypt… Lol
So many of you will be happy to learn that there will be little to no Old English spoken from this point onwards. And Arawn will not be leaving Harry alone for too long! And yes, the knuckle bone Arawn gave to Harry is indeed connected to him in the same way Beli's is to himself. So Harry now has a bone from two powerful gods. Lucky him.
Next chapter, things will start to move along a little and we'll get to see just what the Order have been up to since Charlus up and left them. *Grins*
Fact of the Chapter: Were a baseball (or rounders for the Brits) pitcher able to throw a ball at the speed of light (you read HP fanfiction, suspend your disbelief for a second and work with me here), then within seventy nanoseconds, the pitcher, and batter would be disintegrated. The field would be a crater, and everything within a mile radius would be destroyed. Anyone watching from a safe distance would see a huge ass mushroom cloud and then a firestorm will decimate the surrounding city/town. So yeah, safe to say if that happens, it wouldn't end well for anyone. But! Should that happen, according to Major League Baseball rule 6.08 (b) suggests that in this situation, the batter would be considered "hit by pitch", and would be eligible to advance to first base. I shit you not. So I guess it doesn't all end badly for the batter. You know, if he survived. Or if there was a first base left… which is doubtful. So be careful when you throw a ball not to er… throw it at the speed of light! *Nods*
I'm not kidding. That rule is real. All bases covered, so to speak. *cough*