Author: Update your god damned fic already.
You all but throw Kanaya/Rose fluff at your readers in hopes that your offering will make up for the lack of updates that you had previously promised.
Be Kanaya.
As always, your best friend has the most impeccable timing.
Your eyelids flutter open and meet your lover's.
She has one eyebrow raised inquisitively, the corner of her mouth turned up in a snarky grin.
You stroke her cheek lightly with one long-nailed finger and whisper, "Please excuse me, darling, I believe I must take this," against her lips.
She doesn't argue, just simply leans against the rail of the hotel balcony to for your return and alluringly replies, "Don't keep me waiting."
The contrast between the sunset and Rose's dress makes her look even more exquisite than usual.
You don't know what you did to deserve a girlfriend with such admirable taste.
Or a girlfriend who is so skilled at kissing.
You're a lucky lady.
You shut the door behind you.
Rose is very analytical of the advice you give to Karkat.
You think you would like to skip over her observations and return straight to where you left off.
Yes, most definitely.
You sit down on your plush four-poster hotel bed and hit the green phone button.
"What's troubling you now, Karkat?"
His reply is a string of rushed explanations and curse words and it is really hard on your ear.
You only catch a few snippets clearly here and there.
"Karkat, please, calm yourself down. Recite your speech again, this time with a little dignity, hmm?"
He grunts and is silent for a moment, but it doesn't take him long to start back up.
His story is much shorter and straightforward this time around.
Though you usually enjoy Karkat's theatrics, it can wear you down time after time.
"Kan, Sollux kicked me out. He tried to molest me and I didn't want it and he threw a fit and fucking kicked me out. He was such an fucking asshole, and… it hurt… I had to go to Gamzee's house since you're gone. I don't know what to do. It's so fucking weird here."
Your best friend always seems to find himself in the most unfortunate of circumstances.
"Gamzee hasn't tried to "molest" you has he?"
"Well, uh, no, I mean, not on purpose… I just don't… fuck, I don't know! I don't fucking feel comfortable here!"
You make your voice as gentle as possible.
But you give it a hard edge.
Being so straightforward with Karkat is hard.
He always seems to blow things out of proportion.
But sugar coating your words now is not going to help him.
And you need to help him.
It's your job.
"Karkat, listen please. Gamzee is the only option you have right now."
Karkat makes a noise of protest but you continue.
"I know that it isn't the most appealing scenario you can think of, but you must give him a chance. I don't think it's nearly as bad as you are making it sound. There could be more to him than you think."
"What… What do you mean by that? Gamzee's fucking clear as day. He's a fucking pot head and that's all he's ever been. I don't want to stay with someone who's going to suffocate me with fucking smoke and fucking flirt with me without knowing it."
"Everyone has more to their character than what they show on the surface. You will never know if you don't let him in. Stay a while longer. If you really can not handle it, talk to Terezi. But, surely staying in a house with your ex-lover and Dave Strider wouldn't be better than this, am I correct?"
"Fuck… Yeah, yeah, okay. Just a while longer. I'll just… I'll try? Yeah. I guess I can try."
"It was nice talking to you Karkat."
"Thank you Kan. For being the voice of reason, I guess."
"You're welcome. Now if you'll excuse me, I have business to attend to. Goodbye."
"Bye…"
Now…
About that business.
Rose is still patiently waiting outside, the cool autumn breeze blowing through her hair, rustling her dress.
You smirk and place your hands on her hips, touching your foreheads together.
She smiles back.
There's no greater feeling in the world.
"Now where were we?"
You kiss so passionately not even the beauty the light of the sunset casts over Paris can compare.