Chapter Six -
Five months ago - Enchanted Forest It was still early when they returned from Philips and Auroras, the meeting had not gone well, the Queen had disappeared to her quarters immediately, her mood considerably worse than earlier that morning, she shoved his leather book back at him, turning as she swept past him, "you can read, therefore I assume you can write" she snarled "inform Snow and David that the meeting was a waste of my time and they can fight their own battles from now on" Turning to one of her guards "You, take the letter, you may want to discuss what it says beforehand incase his scribbles are illegible" she sneered.
Robin watched her go, unease in the pit of his stomach, if anything she was even colder and more brittle than before. She had been silent when he walked her back to her guest room last night but she had allowed him to kiss her cheek before shutting the door firmly in his face. He knew he had grossly overstepped the boundaries when he kissed her but she had reciprocated at first, she hadn't pushed him away immediately and although he had torn her gown and held her close to him, things had been heated and gods he had wanted her but they hadn't crossed that line but he had thought it was the start of something. He hadn't meant to kiss her, wasn't his intention upon approaching her but then he hadn't meant to shout at her either but he had, she was just so damn infuriating and he'd wondered why he bothered but then her mask would slip and he would see the pain underneath and he would remember she was just a woman, dealing with God knows what, alone. It wasn't sympathy or empathy that made him reach for her or even lust, although he is sure she is most beautiful woman he has ever seen, he couldn't define it but he felt it every time he was with her, even in a room full of people there was this little pull between them, something indefinable and he swore she felt it too but maybe he was wrong. Although she spoke to him in same cold tones she addressed her staff, same smart mouth, he thought it lacked real venom, felt she was playing her part with him, a part she felt she was expected to play but they both knew it was just surface, he fancied her tone softer when she spoke to him, her barbs more humorous than hurtful, her glaze lingering on him as his on her but now he feared he had been mistaken, had all been ego on his part?
Sighing he made his way back down to the village, looking in on his boy, who was happily tucking into lunch and looking much better, he lingered there for a while before doing the rounds of the village checking everything was as it ought to be, mentally listing the jobs to be undertaken. The village was coming along nicely but there was still so much work to be done and they would soon require more supplies from the Queen, though he doubted she would grant his requests now, sighing when realises his mistake may affect the whole village, what was he thinking, honestly he could kick himself.
"That's a big sigh" Little John chuckled handing him a mug of hot tea, "do I take it the royals were difficult?" he guessed "Ah yes, you have no idea" Robin replied.
"Let me guess the Queen" "No, actually, King George"
"So no help from that quarter then"
"The man's a fool, letting his own selfish wants cloud his judgement, it will be his people that suffer for it" just like mine if I don't resolve the Regina issue he thought. "What did you expect Robin" Little John asks him "they're Royals, the Charmings are the exception"
"Prince Philip is a good man" Robin chimes in "And turns there's the Queen" Little John barks out a laugh.
Robin doesn't reply, not wanting to talk about the Queen. Little John continues "I mean the woman's a nightmare, you know she sent her guards down here to dig vegetable patches as punishment for falling asleep on guard duty"
"Least we got something out of it, besides they shouldn't be doing that" Robin finds himself defending her but the punishment was helpful and men cannot afford to become complacent even in times of peace.
"She made him dig in the middle of the night and that's not all" he continues Robin cuts him off "I don't want to talk about the Queen John" he tells him His friend gives him a puzzled look, surprised, previously Robin had actively encouraged conversation of the Queen, especially after a visit to the castle when he wanted to sound off upon his return.
"What's going on Robin?" John asked him quietly.
The man was Robin's best friend, he trusted him with his life and the life of his son, John had been there for him through thick and thin, he owed the man much.
"Robin" John pressed Running his hands through his hair, "it's nothing, I fear I have upset the balance between the queen and I"
"You had a balance?" John queried "We had, what I thought was a understanding but I fear that I" he trailled off "I fear that I have upset her"
"She's a grown woman, she'll be fine and I highly doubt she actually listens to a single word any of us say so to offend her, you would have to get under her skin and I doubt she'd allow that" Little John comforted him "Maybe" Robin allowed but he was pretty sure now he had gotten under her skin and if he had done so maybe he was right about that little spark after all.
"Listen Robin, you and I we live by our code, the past is the past and the future is not yet writ but we both know, from bitter experience I may add, that dragging the past around with you is not good for anyone and even I can see that the Queen doesn't know how to let hers go, perhaps in time she will find a way but right now, the only person that can help her is her"
"Who said I wanted to help her" Robin grumbled "You did by the look on your face the very first time you met her" Little John replied.
One month ago - Storybrooke Robin has spent the morning talking to Doctor Whale who was unhelpful as ever and Dr Hopper who kindly gave Robin hours of his time, he returns home armed with books on various disorders and leaflets. His search is getting nowhere and he is beginning to panic that she has left the town, he thinks if he could understand her issues maybe he can figure out where she would go, he has searched all the likely places and the unlikely, there a few abandoned buildings in the town, he had searched these five times over. The books are hard going and his head is spinning, feeling useless and restless, he pulls on his coat and heads for the door, thinking to check the woods, shaking visions of Regina cold and alone in the woods from his head. When he returns home later, he realises he has been gone for three hours but it feels like less, his head aches, sharp pain behind his eyes.
He feels like he has forgotten something important but can't for the life of him remember what it is and when he removes his coat, it smells of Regina's perfume and he gives in and allows himself to do something he has not yet done, he sank to the floor and wept.