A/N: I don't own Vampire Diaries or any of the canon characters. Since you all asked so nicely… I skipped over my True Blood update seeing as how there's no vampire diaries episode on this week, and we all need our fix. I have had some questions on whether or not I'll bring Katherine into this one, and I'm thinking no. She's enough of a presence out there right now that I don't feel like I need to bring her into this one. And since you liked the last time I did this, I'll throw in a scene from Damon's POV for free. "You tried to kill me!" Jeremy coughed, his eyes shooting daggers at Damon. "No, I pretended to try and kill you. Big difference. Trust me kid, if I'd wanted to kill you I would have done it in a heartbeat." Damon gave him a wink. I digested that for a moment, wondering just how far Damon would have gone to provoke a response out of me? "It's okay Jer. You won't remember any of this in the morning." I sighed, tired all of a sudden. "Would you mind doing the honors?" I looked to Damon. "Yeah, no sweat." Damon agreed readily, letting go of me to rise gracefully to his feet and hauling Jeremy up with one hand. "Come one, it's time for beddy-bye." He smirked, dragging Jeremy off towards his room. Left alone, I picked myself up off of the floor and blew my nose before kicking off my shoes and curling up in a ball on top of my bed. Damon returned a few minutes later, and I could see the uncertainty on his face as he looked down at me. "Are you okay?" "I've had better nights." I tried for a smile, but I don't think it was all that convincing from the way he hovered. "Maybe you should get some rest?" He asked gently. "It's been a big night, all things considered." "Yeah, I think that's probably for the best." I nodded, turning away to face the wall because it hurt too much to look at him. "I… guess I should be going then." Did I want him to go? Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I'd gotten used to him being around, and the bed felt empty without him in it. Did he even want to stay? But I had waited too long to reply, because when I rolled over to look at him he was gone.
Lexi and Stefan were in the living room of the boarding house when Damon came in, slamming the door behind him. Twin looks of surprise came from the pair and Damon was surprised to see them, having figured they would be heading for bed soon, neither of them having magical rings that allowed them out in the daylight. Sucked to be them. "So you are here, nice to see you again Lexi." He said with barely a look in her direction on the way to the bar. Catching up on old times was the farthest thing from his mind. No, what he wanted was that blurring of emotion and memory that only copious amounts of alcohol brought on.
Lexi's brow rose as she traded looks with Stefan. "What? No smarmy come on? Damon is that really you?" She teased.
"The one and only." Damon raised his drink before draining half of it in one gulp. He was gonna have to make a trip to the liquor store soon if he kept this up.
"Where have you been?" Stefan asked.
"One guess." Damon replied, keeping his back to the pair. The last thing he needed was judgment from either of them on how he'd handled things. He was very well aware of his mistakes, thank you very much.
"I'll just let you boys talk." Lexi excused herself, rising from the couch and heading up to the guest room upstairs.
"Did you see her?" Stefan didn't have to say who he meant.
"Oh I saw her alright." Damon gave a tight smile.
"Is she still…"
"Bucking for best Katherine impression 2010? No, Elena's back to her good old self again."
Stefan's brows rose in surprise. "She is? How did you do that?"
Damon refilled his drink and then sank into an armchair, holding the cool glass to his forehead for a moment. "I wish I could say that I confessed my undying love for her and she ran to me with open arms, but I had to try and kill her brother."
"You did what?" Stefan demanded, rising to his feet.
"Oh relax, he's fine. I didn't hurt him much, just enough to get her to snap out of it." Damon waved away his concern.
Stefan relaxed his stance, but didn't regain his seat. "So she's back to normal now?"
"Yep, so you'd best hop on over there, quick like a bunny, and make your bid for her." Damon wiggled his fingers doing his best impression of a scampering animal, his lips twisting into a smirk.
"I don't think she wants to see me very much. She told me she was through with both of us." Stefan leaned against the arm of the sofa, his brow furrowed with deep thoughts.
Damon snorted. "Yeah well I'm guessing she stuck to that plan for about an hour, tops."
Pain twisted Stefan's features. "So you and she…"
It would have been easy to lash out just then, but something kept him from twisting the knife. Damon shook his head. "It doesn't matter. She's convinced I'm in love with Katherine and was just using her to get my jollies." He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. One slip of the tongue. Just one, and it had doomed him to an eternity without the one woman who had truly wormed her way into his heart.
"Were you?"
"Ouch. Not you too brother. Elena's her own person, I would have thought you'd be the person who knew that the best. I just need to let her cool off a bit." Then she'd have to accept his apologies, right?
Stefan gained his feet again, his eyes flashing dangerously. "I'm not gonna let you hurt her again."
Stefan to the rescue… where was a stake when he wanted one? "Yeah? And what are you gonna do to stop me?" Not that he had any intention of hurting Elena, but the idea that Stefan had appointed himself her guardian just pricked at his last nerve.
"Anything I have to. I happen to love her." Stefan's chin came up and Damon resisted the urge to take a swing at it.
"Well so do I." Damon retorted, eyes alight with baleful fire; almost daring him to challenge him over this.
"You don't know the meaning of love." Stefan scoffed.
"And you're such an expert? You had her. How bad did you screw things up for her to run to me of all people?" Damon taunted him, spoiling for a fight.
"I just know that she and I had a good thing going before you came to town and messed things up." Stefan retorted.
"I could say the same thing."
Stefan let out a short bark of laughter. "Oh no, you messed this one up all by yourself."
Damon was silent at that. He had a point. All at once the fight went out of him. "Maybe you should go talk to her. Get things out in the open, see if you can patch things up." If that was what Elena truly wanted… he couldn't stand in the way of that, could he?
"What?" Stefan blinked, not having expected that sudden capitulation.
Rising to his feet, Damon stopped at the bar to refill his glass, but set the bottle down instead, leaving the alcohol behind. "Maybe you're right, maybe all I know how to bring her is pain."
Stefan stared at him, at a loss for words.
Damon left him standing there, heading for the stairs with leaden feet. He paused on the landing, without turning around. "If you hurt her… I'll kill you."
*** back to Elena's POV ***
I slept like the dead for most of the next day, waking every now and again with a lump in my throat the size of Texas when I saw the empty space beside me in bed. As evening painted long shadows against my bedroom walls, I realized that I couldn't just lie in bed for the rest of my life. Sure I could lie there and feel sorry for myself for a day or thirty, but it wouldn't change anything. The only way to clear the air was to go right to the source and hash things out.
And that meant the Salvatore brothers.
After a shower and change, I hopped into Damon's car, heading over to the boarding house. Only the closer I got to their place, the more it felt like I was gonna fly apart at the seams. What started off as butterflies in my stomach turned into swallows and eventually I almost felt like I was getting seasick. When had I gotten so nervous about seeing them? Oh how I craved the simplicity of simply shutting down my emotions again, but the trick eluded me.
Even at the slowest pace, I drove up to the house before too long and sat there, hands clenching the steering wheel as I seriously debated turning around and going back home again to leave this for another day. No matter how things went inside there, by the time I left, someone was gonna end up hurt, if not all of us.
Taking a deep breath, I forced myself out of the car and up the stairs to ring the bell. Stefan answered the door a heartbeat later, and I wondered if he'd been watching my arrival from the window? At the last second I chickened out, "Hi, I'm here to see Lexi, is she still here?"
"Uh yeah, come on in." Stefan stepped back, his surprise clearly written all over his face and maybe a tinge of hurt.
"Thanks." I replied, giving him a tight smile, feeling like the biggest coward. For all I knew Lexi didn't even want to see me after how I'd blown Stefan off the other night, but she was the closest thing I had to a friend at the moment, and I desperately needed some perspective on things.
"Elena." Lexi smiled widely, walking towards us immediately. "This is a surprise."
"Oh, if you're busy…"
"Not at all, come on in." Her eyes flicked between us, and she sidled up to me and linked her arm through mine. "I think I'll just steal her away if you don't mind." Lexi winked at Stefan, drawing me towards the stairs.
I followed her lead, grateful to have her acceptance and keeping silent until the door was shut behind us.
Lexi led me to a small sitting area inside the guest room and plopped down in a chair. "So? I hear you're back in the Land of Confusion."
"Huh?" I stared back at her, sinking into the other chair.
"Lost in Emotion? Not ringing a bell? 80's songs, nevermind." Lexi shook her head. "How are you doing? Okay?"
"I'm… okay. Trying to deal with it anyway." I shrugged, not sure how to describe the conflicting emotions inside of me. "I just felt like if I kept it all inside of me any longer, my head might explode, you know?"
"So spill." Lexi prompted me with a nod.
"I don't know where to begin…" I tried to marshal my thoughts into a coherent chain of events. "I told you before about what Damon did, or more to the point what he said."
"Yeah, and it made you go all Stepford-Elena." Lexi nodded.
"So, he wants me to believe that it was just an honest mistake, and that he loves me."
"Do you believe him?"
"Would you?"
Lexi's head canted to one side as she thought that one over. "Offhand I'd say no, but then again, Damon never professed to love me before. Of course, I've never heard him profess to love anyone before, not since the big K."
"He says he never really loved her, he just loved an image of her he'd built up in his head. But you said he was miserable after he thought she'd died, right? It sounds like he loved her well enough."
"Maybe, but that was a long time ago." Lexi's sharp teeth worried at her bottom lip. "I've mistaken infatuation for love before. It sure feels like the real thing at the time and then with a little bit of perspective, you're smacking yourself later for being so stupid."
"Yeah, I guess that's true." I allowed.
"Do you love him back?"
"I don't know." I buried my face in my hands.
"What about Stefan? Now that your heart's back in the right place do you feel anything for him?"
"I don't know that either." My voice was muffled by my hands and I let go of my face, sitting up. "Things between us were… strained. Even before I was turned, and afterwards. I know he's a great guy, and I know he loves me but… how can I say this…"
"You don't have those same feelings for him that you used to." Lexi supplied and I nodded.
"I don't know when it happened exactly, but… I keep thinking… if I really and truly belonged with Stefan, then I wouldn't have these feelings for Damon, would I? So isn't it just more cruel to him in the long run to string him along?"
"Hey, I'm all for the quick and painful ripping off a bandaid approach, just… don't expect him to be happy about it."
"I know, I hate to bring him anymore pain. How am I supposed to face him knowing that I told him I was through with both of them and then Damon…"
"Damon really got to you, didn't he?" Lexi studied me carefully.
And there was my answer, staring me in the face with stark clarity.
I was in love with Damon.
Why else would it have upset me so much when he'd called me Katherine? And why else had I let him back into my bed even when I'd been furious with him on some buried level? It was why it hurt so much when he'd left that morning, and why it had been his face I'd been hoping for when I arrived at the boarding house.
"God help me…" I murmured, in a daze.
"Beg your pardon?" Lexi raised a brow.
"I'm in love with him." Lurching to my feet, I headed for the door, no longer content to keep this to myself. "I have to talk to Stefan."
"Wait… which one are you in love with?" Lexi's pretty face crumpled in confusion.
"Thanks for the girl talk Lexi, I'll catch you later, okay?" I gave her a distracted smile, pulling the door open, only to find Damon standing across the hallway. "Damon…"
"Elena." He replied nonchalantly.
"I… how are you?" Anything I'd been about to say fell out of my head at seeing him for the first time since my revelation.
"Can't complain." Damon shrugged. "Well actually I can, but who wants to hear that?" The corner of his mouth tugged up into a smile.
"I was hoping we could talk…"
"Oh?" He started to walk towards me, losing some of that indifference.
"But first I need to talk to Stefan." I continued. I had to put things straight between us before I started thinking about trying to carve out any kind of future with his brother.
The look of hurt was so fleeting, I almost thought I'd imagined it and just as quickly his usual smirk was in place. "I think you'll find him in his bedroom. I'm sure you remember the way." Damon brushed past me then without so much as a glance in my direction.
"Damon… wait."
"Have a good… talk." He called without looking back.
Super. Now Damon was having some kind of male hissy fit and I was tempted to go after him and talk to him first. But our conversations tended to end up with either kissing or fighting (usually kissing) and I wanted to get things settled with Stefan first. There would be plenty of time to hash things out with Damon. Or so I thought.
Continuing down the hall, I paused at Stefan's door, my hand raised to knock, but he pulled the door open before I had the chance.
"Hello Elena." Stefan smiled warmly. A little too warmly for a man who I'd recently told I didn't want to have anything to do with him. "Come on in."
"Thanks." I smiled, stepping into his room. "I thought we should talk."
"I know. I ah… Lexi's room is right next to mine so…"
I stared at him, not taking his meaning.
"I overheard your conversation with Lexi."
"You were spying on me?" My brows shot skywards.
"I'm sorry… I just wanted to know what was going on with you, if you were okay."
Still a little stunned, I wondered why he was so smiley then, if he'd heard me say I didn't love him like I used to. "So you heard… everything?"
"I did." He nodded, "But I don't care."
"What do you mean you don't care?" I frowned. Had he heard the same conversation I remembered?
"Damon's the one who turned you, and his is the first blood you've ever tasted. That forms a bond between you, I get that."
"Stefan, it's more than that…."
"Ah but how can you be so sure?" His lips tilted into a faint smile. "You and I have something Elena, something that goes beyond whatever physical attraction you have for my brother. Don't throw away everything we have."
"We had something Stefan, had." I clarified, not quite sure what to make of this Stefan.
Stefan nodded slowly, taking a step towards me, and another. "I see. And I'm supposed to just what? Slink away to brood somewhere while Damon yet again tries to ruin everything I have just to prove that he can?" He shook his head.
"Stefan…" I swallowed, "I can't…"
"I wish I could just step aside but I can't do that. I love you Elena, and I always will." He gazed deep into my eyes and I stood transfixed, stunned at this profession of love from him even after he knew I wanted Damon.
Reaching up, his thumbs brushed over my jaw. "Somewhere deep inside I think you know that, and I think you love me too." My lips parted to object and he covered my mouth with his. Gentle, tender Stefan was gone. This Stefan was demanding, taking what he wanted.
Out of habit or desire, I was never sure, but I kissed him back for a full ten seconds before my brain kicked in and I shoved against his chest, pulling my lips from his. "No Stefan. I belong with Damon." My voice sounded hoarse to my ears, lips throbbing from the kiss.
Just as quickly that easy smile was back on his lips. "Okay. But I'm not going anywhere. Damon had no problems going after you while we were together, well this time I'm gonna take a page from his book. Sooner or later you'll see Damon for what he is, and I'll be there."
A/N: I hope you guys liked it, I have to say that the Grrr Stefan of season 2 inspired me for this shift in Stefan at the end. But don't worry, scene with Damon coming up next!
So yes, the idea I had for the amnesia vampire diaries is much like Tabula Rasa from Buffy, you guys are right, only they're trapped in one place and forced to interact, like in the movie Unknown. So here's the next question for you guys. Would you rather see that fanfic next, or the sequel to Roadtrip? Or secret option number three?
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