Chapter Twenty One:
He returned the next day but she slept mostly.
He attempted to stay with her but she refused insisting he think of Emma.
He called the hospital every morning checking on her progress and brought Emma for visits.
It seemed to lift her spirits as she slowly recovered from the bacterial infection.
She was permitted to leave the hospital after a week.
She sat there on the bed and waited for Nick.
She was surprised when Grissom arrived with Emma.
"I was waiting on Nick to take me home," explained Sara.
"Daddy said I could come and get you," said Emma with a smile. Sara caught the 'Daddy' and glanced at Grissom who smiled.
"Okay."
"We have the room all ready for you," said Emma.
"Room?" asked Sara.
"You're coming home with us," said Emma.
Sara's smile faded. "Emma, I need to go to my apartment," explained Sara.
"But…you promised," wailed the small child.
"I didn't…"
"You promised…you'd come home…home is with us," she insisted.
Sara glanced nervously at Grissom.
"I can't," said Sara.
Emma pouted. "Why not? Don't you love me?"
"Of course I do but…"
"When do we get to be a family? I want…you to come home…please," she begged.
Sara glared at Grissom.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"Right," muttered Sara.
They stepped into the townhouse and were greeted by Bruno.
Emma began playing with the dog.
"Look Mommy! We got you flowers," said Emma as she pointed at the vase.
Sara stood there, wishing she could find a way out of the mess.
"I'll put your bag in your room," he said quietly.
She watched as he opened the master bedroom and placed the bag inside the door.
"I'm not staying here," she whispered to him as Emma played with the dog.
"Sara…just give her a few days."
"It will only make things worse!"
"Sit down…we need to talk…about a few things," he said as he ushered Emma and the dog outside to play.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"I wanted to talk with you…about…Emma."
Sara leaned back in the couch.
"Graham dropped the paternity case."
"Good."
"Sara, I want to change Emma's…name…and yours…to mine."
She seemed a bit confused.
"She's asking…why her name is…Sidle…because the other children have the same last name…as their parents."
"Oh."
"I've asked my attorney to handle the matter…if that's okay with you."
"Of course."
"So you agree to the name change?"
"Yes."
"We could stand before a judge and have both matters taken care of at the same time and…"
"Wait….wait…both matters?"
"Name change to mine…Emma…and…you."
"A judge can't do that…change my name…to yours…we're not married."
"We'd…get…married."
Sara wondered if the seizures had caused some sort of brain damage.
"What?"
"She came home in tears the other day…some child said she was illegitimate."
Sara bristled. "Children can be cruel."
"She wanted to know what it meant."
"What did you tell her?"
"She sort of tricked me."
"What happened?" asked Sara leaning forward.
"She initially asked me what legitimate meant and I told her legitimate meant right…but then she asked me why she was not right. I didn't understand until she announced that she was illegitimate meaning wrong."
Sara stood immediately. "You didn't see that coming?" she barked.
"I'm sorry…I didn't...at least not from a five year old. I told her she was wanted by both of us…we both love her."
He sighed. "She came home the next day and asked why we didn't have the same last names…I explained that…we weren't married."
The last three words were said softly.
"You said what?" she yelled. "You should have told her that a piece of paper doesn't mean anything unless two people love one another…"
Sara stopped.
"She's five, Sara. She's a bright child that is trying to fit in…like we did. Her friends are not playing with her now."
"Why?"
"Because…they think she's different," said Grissom.
"That's bullshit!" barked Sara.
"We need to move her to a new school…one for gifted children…but I didn't want to do that until…the name change…so she wouldn't feel different anymore."
"Anything else?" she muttered.
"She wants you to live with her," said Grissom.
"She can live with me," said Sara. "Graham is not a threat anymore."
"I want Emma to live with me," said Grissom.
She stared at Grissom.
She was not prepared for this confrontation.
Already, she felt completely exhausted.
She smoothed out the imaginary wrinkle from her blouse.
"We'll…share…her," said Sara.
Grissom glanced down at the floor. "I want her to live with me full time."
Sara folded her arms as she shook her head. "I'm not giving you my child!"
"I'm not asking you to," said Grissom quickly. "I'm asking you…to live here with us….I'll share my house…and my name."
She stood there shocked.
It was the worst proposal she could ever imagine until she realized it was coming from Grissom.
She wondered how Grissom had proposed to Melissa.
She bit down a hint of jealousy.
He probably loved her….
He's doing this for Emma…
Emma ran into the house in tears.
"What's wrong?" asked Sara.
"Bee!"
Emma held out her finger. "I tried to catch it…but it stung me." Grissom gently placed Emma on the counter.
He took out a knife from the drawer and gently scraped the stinger from Emma's finger.
Sara then put some medicine on the swollen area.
"Better?" asked Grissom.
"Better," she smiled. "I'm glad Mommy is home."
"Me too," admitted Grissom.
"I have my family now!" smiled Emma as she hugged them both.
"Emma, people still have families even if they don't live together," explained Sara.
"Papa Joe said that a family that loved one another stayed together…Papa Joe was right…wasn't he, Mommy?"
"I miss Papa Joe," sniffled Sara.
"Some kids got their Mommy and Daddy when they were born but I had to wait…a long time," Emma said.
Sara felt the twinge of guilt.
"Mommy, why are you crying?" asked Emma.
"Sorry…just tired," she lied.
"Go lie down," whispered Grissom.
She disappeared immediately into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.
"I don't think Mommy feels well," said Grissom. "Emma, Mommy is still recovering. We'll need to take care of her. She needs lots of rest."
"She looked sad. I think I made her sad. Will you make her feel better?" asked Emma.
"I'll try," said Grissom.
He decided to leave her alone for the remainder of the evening.
When dinner came, he quietly slipped into the room and found her fast asleep.
He pulled the blanket over her shoulders and stepped back out.
Hours passed and she finally emerged.
Emma was already in bed asleep.
"I'm sorry. I was…"
"You still need rest. I heard the instructions," he said. "There's a plate in the oven."
She was grateful that he continued to sit in the chair with a book.
She finished off the plate of food and took her medicine.
She put away the dirty dishes and then stood by the window looking outside.
"Shouldn't you be at work?" she asked.
"It's my night off," he said.
"Oh."
Wait…
Where is he going to sleep?
"Look, Emma is asleep. I'll just go…" she headed toward the door but he quickly flew out of the chair.
"She's been having nightmares," he blurted out.
"She has?" she asked suddenly.
"Yes…she was afraid you were never coming back," he said.
She glanced toward the child's bedroom before slumping down on the couch.
He returned to the chair.
He peered over his glasses. "Have you given…any thought to…the name change?"
She had.
She had cried herself to sleep.
It was not how she had imagined she would receive a proposal.
She tried to rationalize it.
Grissom was offering her marriage.
It was complete with his last name, his home and his bed.
It was everything she ever wanted.
He was offering everything except what she craved most, love.
"Yes," she said barely above a whisper.
"And?"
"Marriage…is not something just to rush into," she said.
Like you know anything about marriage, Sara, but maybe he bought it…
"We have Emma to think about," he emphasized.
I know…
"How… would we…this house is not big enough," she pointed out.
"We have two bedrooms," he countered, not sure what was wrong with the house.
He's so clueless…
like the proposal…
It's just business…
"You expect us to share…that," pointing to the master bedroom.
He glanced toward the bedroom.
His face turned a crimson red.
"I'll sleep out here….besides…we're on different shifts…we won't be home at the same time."
Oh…
Of course…
No worry about getting too close…
For Emma…
"You've been approved for swing shift…provided you're ready to return…I didn't indicate you needed counseling…unless you think you need…if you want." He knew he was stammering.
She sat there staring at the floor.
He was giddy that she had even accepted his half hazard attempt at a proposal.
"So…I thought we…could go…tomorrow…then work on getting Emma moved to a new school," he said.
"Tomorrow?" she asked.
"I'm not sure when I'll get any time off…we'll be short handed…until I find a replacement," he said.
She nodded.
"So…is that a yes?" he asked nervously.
She rubbed her temple.
Despite sleeping most of the day she was completely drained.
"Okay," she said rather defeated.
"Good," he answered sounding odd.
She rose quickly and started for the bedroom.
"Sara?"
She stopped dead in her tracks.
"We could…shop for a dress…if you want," he offered.
"No, I don't," she said as she fled the room.
She could care less what she wore.
She was marrying out of responsibility.
There was nothing romantic about any of it.
There was no confession of love, no asking…but rather an offer out of need, no engagement ring, no announcement to friends, no wedding plans, not that she ever wanted a wedding but there were a few things she had hoped for.
She certainly had thought that if she ever took another man's name it would be for love.
She felt quite cheated.
As soon as the door shut, he wiped the sweat from his hands and forehead.
He was sure she would reject any proposal.
He had contemplated divulging his heart once more but he was afraid she would stomp on it.
He did not think she would ever forgive him but he knew she might just marry him for Emma.
Grissom cursed inwardly.
The last thing Grissom had wanted was to allow another woman the ability to control his emotions and yet the moment he had met Sara he knew she did just that.
He was hopelessly at her will but she had not learned how to push the right buttons or least he did not hang around long enough for her to see what effect she really had on him.
That would be a huge mistake.
He put up with the barbs and even the few jabs that were meant to inflict pain but they didn't really hurt him…at least not as much as her tears.
Just a single trickle down one of her cheeks could easily send him dangling over the edge.
She wasn't thrilled with the idea of being married to him.
The unshed tears that had glistened in her eyes told him she did not want to do it but she would for Emma.
He couldn't blame her.
He had hurt her repeatedly.
Graham's words taunted him.
He could love.
He definitely loved Emma…as well as Sara.
He'd always loved Sara.
He just never showed his true feelings.
Neither slept well that night.
Note to author:
Looks like they're getting married....sort of....Grissom's way....
Take care!