Disclaimer: *Bones walks out and sighs* "Tsparks158 doesn't own Maximum Ride. He however thinks he owns Faith and I, which he doesn't. We are living people! None can–Ow!"

*Bones falls forward reveling a dart in his neck.*

*Tsparks runs out in black sunglasses, dark jeans, and a black hoodie. He raises his left hand which is holding some kind of device. The device flashes a red light. Now no one remembers anything Bones has said.*

"I do own Faith and Ol' Bonesy here. I don't own Maximum Ride. Goodbye." Tsparks said, dragging Bones on his back offstage.

Chapter 21: Fax Date

Fang POV

What was the hardest thing in my life ever?

Taking care of Faith? No, that was fairly simple since she listens to my word like I was god. I know that'll change once she's a teenager. I might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

Fighting Erasers? No, that is more fun than anything. I think it's hilarious how Itex thinks their Erasers can take us.

Asking Max out on a date? Hell. Yes. Hardest thing ever. Period. You wouldn't want to hear it.

...Do you?

Of course you do. You guys love to hear about everything in my life. Are your lives less interesting than mine? Because you guys are sooo freaking lucky.

Hey, Idea! Let's swap lives!

...Anyone!?

.....Please?

......Dammit.

Anyway, back to the story. I had just built up confidence to ask Max out, so I walked to our room. Of course this is my life, so it couldn't have been easy for me to have asked Max out. I say that because, once I opened the door and saw she was asleep, all the confidence left. All gone. See you later. Bye-bye.

Leaving poor Fang to fend for himself.

"Max?" I asked quietly. I would have walked away, had I not promised Faith I'd take Max out.

I got closer to her sleeping body. I was very tempted to do two things. For the safety of innocent eyes that may be reading, those two things are staying in my perverted male mind.

I grabbed her shoulder and shook it, "Max wake up. C'mon get up."

"Unnngh, get 'way from 'im," she mumbled.

Ooo-Kaay?

She was dreaming about something. I could ask Bones or Angel to find out what, but they'd probably find out and not tell me anything. Or once I woke Max up I could have just asked. It would probably be safer to do the second option. And I would have, if not for the next few words that came out of her mouth.

"He's MY Fang, don't touch him," she mumbled out. Her brows had scrunched up; Max was giving some other girl her death glare. At least I hope it was a girl. Eww. Very gross thought.

Well I guess I know her feelings for me now. That should make this easier. Right?

This is my life, remember? My luck.

"Max," I tried again. This time it worked. She sat up.

And our foreheads collided.

Frick on a stick with a brick! (AN: I love that saying, gotta luv Scrubs) That hurt! Unfortunately, she was having the same thoughts as me. Almost.

"Fang! Frick that hurt!" She exclaimed rubbing her head.

See? I told you. Same thoughts.

Creepy, isn't it?

"What are you doing? Watching me sleep?" Max glared at me.

"No," I said still rubbing my head, "I came here to see if you wanted to come see a movie with me."

"With you and Faith? Sure. Let me jus–"

"No Max," I said, interrupting her, "Just you and me. On a date."

She looked at me blankly. I was looking right back at her brown eyes. Man they were beautiful. I was in Fax (that's what Nudge and Angel call us) La-la land for a little bit. Then Max snapped me back to reality.

"Huh, wha? I'm awake." I said as I was getting out of my daze.

"I asked," Max started slowly, "whose idea was it this time? Nudge or Angel?"

"Neither," I smiled, "It was Faith's."

Max's jaw dropped slightly. Now she looked downright adorable. I just wanted to kiss her. I'd probably get a sock in the jaw, so I'll resist.

"Faith?" Max asked. I nodded.

She sighed. Then she looked up at me and asked, "What movie?"

I smiled a half smile, "Jarhead."

Max looked at me quizzically. I sighed this time, "A movie following the training of a Marine."

"Not a romance?" Max questioned.

I nodded, "Nudge tried, but I refused."

"Okay." She said. Wait, wait, wait.....What?

"What?" I asked.

Max looked me in the eye and said, "Okay, let's go. Just let me shower and change first."

"S-sure," I said. I was a little stunned at her saying yes.

Now, twenty minutes later, we were at the Blackjack Cinema. One of Faith's favowite places.

I got the tickets and we were going to get some drinks and popcorn.

Then I saw who was serving us, Zoë. I just put 2+2 together.

She's a close friend to Sharon.

Sharon and Max aren't the best of friends.

My luck...You know.

"Hi Nick, where's Faith?" Z asked me.

"At home with Bones." I said.

"Oh. Who's this?" she asked looking at Max warily.

I looked at Max, too.

Great. Just effin' great. They were studying each other, trying to find the other's weakness. As much as I love a good catfight, not here or now. Iggy would have tried to encourage it. ...Pig.

"This is Max...Faith's mom." I said carefully. I didn't want to be the one that started this fight.

Zoë relaxed, as did Max, and then nodded. Z also decided to be blunt.

"Why'd you let such a hottie go?" Zoë asked as if I wasn't standing right here.

"It's complicated," Max said.

"Sure it is," Zoë said, "Usual Nick?"

I was still recovering from the question not directed at me. Max answered for me, "Yes please."

That snapped me back to reality, again. Max saying please? Maybe I was dreaming. I gave myself a small pinch on the hand. Yipe! Nope, not dreaming. Wanna know how I know? I'm bleeding from that pinch.

"C'mon Nick," Max said pulling my arm, "We're gonna miss the movie."

Two Hours Later...

Wow! What a movie! Max and I loved it.

That opening scene with his girlfriend though...I would be lying if I said I didn't wish it was me and Max in that scene. (AN: Wink wink, hint hint.)

Max and I were holding hands as we were walking out. And then the second problem of the date appeared.

Bradley, the Pig from Shawtz.

He and his goons were coming. John and Brad got along well, which is why he came to a lot of my shows. Which is how he knew about Faith. Which is how he attempted to pick up Max.

Note: Guys hitting on Max = angry Fang.

"Hey baby," Brad said, he's now the head-honcho Idiot, "Why don't you ditch the zero and get with the hero."

"No," Max said. Ow! My hand just got crushed. Oh god.

God? Please make him go away. For the sake of my hand at least!? Please?

"Do you know he has a kid?" Oh so he's trying to play that card.

"Yes," Max replied. My hand went numb five seconds ago. It hurts. A lot.

"Then you should know he doesn't use protection," Brad said. What? That's a lie.

I know cause I've never needed it...Sadly. I should at least defend myself.

"I did with your Mom." I stated. Max burst out laughing. Brad's Groupie's were exclaiming "OOH!" and "Burn!".

Brad looked pissed. I decided to continue.

"I also used it with your Dad. Man, he was tight," I said lying completely.

Now everyone laughing was on the ground, including Max.

Brad thought of a comeback though, "So you are Gay!"

I shook my head, "No, he begged me to do him. He was jealous of your mom. I didn't want to, but then they offered me a lot of money. That's the only reason I screwed him. He took it well."

Brad looked like he was going to explode. Some of his friends were dying from laughter, so I decided to finish them off.

"Did you know your mom usually rides on him with a strap on?" I asked. That did it. His groupie's were D-E-A-D, dead.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Brad throw a punch. I dodged it, and then I countered with a left to his jaw. He went down. His buddies snapped back to attention. And they almost joined in, until I shot them a look that said "I dare you."

They all stepped to the side. Max, who had wrapped her arms around my waist, and I walked on. We had to step over Brad.

"I didn't know you were Bi." Max said after a few minutes of walking.

"Funny. Not." I replied.

"Really? Good, I wouldn't want to share you with anyone else," Max said, then covered her mouth.

"What?" I asked stopping. Now we were turned to face each other. It wasn't a comfertable silence like usual. No, it was a very akward silence.

"Fang," Max started, "Where do you want to go from here?"

Is she serious? I really doubt it. So I sarcastically answered, "How about home?"

Max punched my arm. Ow. Guess she was serious. She turned to walk away, so I stopped her by grabbing her arm.

"Wait Max, what did you mean?"

"Us, Fang. What do you want to happen to us?" Max asked quietly.

I didn't know how to respond, with words anyway. I gripped her chin lightly. And I leaned in. Our lips touched...

.........And then I died and went to Heaven.

I met Jesus. Freaking Jesus. He told me I had to stay alive so he sent me back at the same time the kiss ended.

"That's what I want Max," I whispered, "What do you want?"

In response she put her hands on the back of my head and pulled me in for another kiss.

.........I said hello to Jesus. Again. And again. And again. Then we had a pool party. We went on a camping trip. Became friends on Facebook. Etc.

When I had to leave, Jesus said to hold on to her forever.

No. Freaking. Duh!

When Max and I broke the kiss, there was only us. Just us. I was in heaven-on-earth.

But I didn't see the two teenage girls who were watching us.

Or that over the next few weeks of my life, I would be the object two girls would fight over.

Right now, however, I didn't give a shit.

AN: I'd like to apologize for the M-rated jokes used towards the end. Everything Fang said was a lie. I'm not gay and Fang's not gay. Nothing personal to those who are, but it's not my life choice.

And Brad's friends are going to be avoiding him now. Since he lost a fight.

Hahahahahaha! I laugh at his misfortune and embarrassment

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Tsparks