Chapter 21: New Beginnings

Everything was so still and silent that for a moment I thought I had gone deaf.

I couldn't decipher the emotions running through me at the sight of Marleen's decapitated body. There was the tiniest bit of triumph. With Marleen dead we had won. But it was only a tiny bit.

Remorse and loss coursed through every inch of me. Goras are loyal creatures. Even though Marleen wanted to kill me and my family, she was still my leader. She had kept my species safe. I had looked up and been loyal to her for many years. It was all too much.

When your emotions are too much for you to take there is only one thing left to do. Scream. And I did. My scream of pain and anguish at the loss of my leader broke through the suffocating silence. I screamed until I was breathless. I let all my guilt and suffering out in that one action.

Edward was trying to speak to me, probably asking what was wrong, but his voce was drowned out by the screams of loss that erupted from the other Goras. We were all mourning. I wasn't sure what the vampires around me were doing, and for a moment I didn't care. This loss was one for the Goras.

The Mourning Stage; where Goras let out there emotions for those that are lost. I screamed not only for Marleen, but for all the Goras that had been killed. For all their meleths back home who would never get over the loss. I couldn't bring myself to mourn James though

I did not think the vampires would understand. But then I felt cool arms wrap around my neck and pull me into a fierce embrace. I looked long enough to see Edward's pain filled face watching me as I wept before another strangled yelp escaped my throat.

I realized that Edward could understand what I was going through from the thoughts of the other Goras, because we were all going through the same thing.

It seemed like eternity before I could stop the tears and the screams that I was creating. The guilt and pain was still there, but my throat was too hoarse to let it out. I looked from the confinement of Edward's arm back to Aro. I watched as two Goras stepped forward, towards Marleen's body. I knew them instantly. The one was Marleen's eldest son, Mathew, and his Meleth, Ellen. Guilt poured through me again as I watched Mathew step towards his deceased mother. Because of me he had lost his mother, brother and probably friends. It was all my fault.

I looked up into Edward's face with a tortured expression. My main emotion must have been evident in my eyes because he quickly spoke sternly, "This is not your fault." How can I not believe him?

I turned back to see Aro bowing respectively to Mathew and moving away to give him and Ellen time alone. But that movement made me realize something. Something that needed to be shown to all the mourners. So I disentangled myself from the safety of Edward's arms and moved towards Mathew.

The walked seem long. I weaved through the mourning Goras and the confused vampires. I half feared the guilt I would feel when Mathew would look at me accusingly but I pushed that away. I could dwell on it later, right now I had to do this.

Mathew and Ellen noticed me moving towards them as did everyone else. It became once again deathly quite. Nervous, I was about to look behind me to search for Edward, but found him walking right beside me. Were he belonged. I could do this. I need to do this.

I stopped only when I was standing in front of Mathew. I could feel the room holding its breath, wondering what the traitor was going to do. And that was what I was: a traitor. I had brought this loss onto my kind. With that in mind I took a deep breath and bowed deeply to the new leader of the Goras.

I was reminded of Jasper when I practically felt the shock and surprise running around the room. I stayed bowed until I felt it necessary to continue this new stage. I lifted myself up right and moved closer to Mathew. I hesitated before I placed my nose respectively on his forehead and hummed, the vibrations going from me to him, allowing everything I felt to travel to him. My guilt, my apology, my respect for the new leader.

We could mourn all we wanted, for, yes, there were many losses. But in the end there was also a new beginning being formed. And Mathew was going to form it. The Goras needed to see that they may have lost a leader but just as quickly had gained one.

I stepped back and gave another bow. I felt hot breath on the top of my head and looked up to see both Mathew and Ellen smiling sadly at me. Both gave me respectful nods. I knew all I needed to then. They did not blame me. They were sad, but they knew this was Marleen's doing and no one else's.

With a new sense of purpose I threw my head back and forced my parched throat to cry out. Only this time it was not in grief. It was in promise. A promise that life would go on and it would be hard, but still we shall live.

It took a shocked second before everyone else followed my lead. I could even hear some vampires clapping. In jubilation or just confusion I wasn't sure. Breaking off my roar I looked towards the Goras' new leaders and gave them one more bow, before turning to my meleth.

Even though a new leader was created and my family may be given a pardon and allowed to go back home I would not take it. That isn't my home anymore, I reasoned, this is. Edward. That is my home.

Close by was a discarded cloak. Using my teeth and paws I forced it around me then changed back to human, ignoring all the cheers going on around me. I looked into my love's eyes and saw everything I needed. That he loved me. I needed nothing more.

Taking his cool hand in mine, delicately, lovingly I brought it up to my lips, brushing kisses along his knuckles. I looked back up and saw him smiling at me. My heart soared just with that look. He cradled my face in his hands as if I would shatter at any moment before bring his lips to mine.

"Let's go home," I whispered before pulling him into a deeper kiss.

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