Dabbling in Drabbles
Real Love
You know, I always thought I knew what love was. I'd had enough crushes to be able to tell the difference between a small crush and a really, really big crush. I'd had a lot of crushes in my life. I can't ever remember a time I didn't like girls. There were a lot of them out there, too; smart, pretty, funny, cute. So many to pick from. Sometimes I'd even have more than one crush at a time. I've lost count of how many I've gone goofy over. Most were short-lived, but some could last months. And I think I heard a statistic once that if you still have a crush on someone after four months… you're already in love. If that's true, I've been in love a handful of times. And I'm only ten.
Love was an easily definable word in my mind. It was that fluttery feeling in your stomach, that gooey, warm feeling that wells up in your chest, and the feeling of your heart speeding up really fast. It made you want to spend more time with that person, made you think about them a lot, and smile whenever you did. It feels… good. Really good.
But would you believe me if I told you that… that wasn't love at all?
I know that sounds weird, and believe me, if some kid had told me that a year ago, I would've thought they were dumb, too. But hear me out.
Just a little over seven months ago… I fell in love with someone I never thought I would. I mean, when I pictured my ideal woman I pictured someone sweet, caring, patient, kind, genuine, and pretty. Maybe funny, too. Who knew? It was always a pretty general image in my head. She'd be really good with kids, too. And we'd have a ton in common. Someone I could really picture myself marrying one day and having kids with. So I could have a more… normal life. A nice, normal wife with nice, normal kids in a nice, normal house. A dream life.
But instead, what I found myself falling for was someone callous, impatient, dishonest, sarcastic, and rude, with a cruel sense of humor and a laugh that at times could be defined as downright maniacal.
I know, I know… How in the world did that happen?
Well, sometimes I wonder the same thing, but along with all those things, she was also secretly kind, loving, sweet, funny, talented, poetic, and passionate, with big blue eyes and long, shiny blonde hair.
Put it all together and you've got Helga G. Pataki.
Heh, Arnold and Helga… Never would have seen that coming. But something that normally would have made me shudder a year ago just makes me smile fondly now.
But why is someone like me with her when my ideal woman syncs up so narrowly with her description? Well, that's simple. I love her. But not fake love… I really love her.
I'm not with her because she makes my heart thunder, or because she makes my skin tingle, or even because she makes me lose my breath sometimes. Love isn't about any of those things. Those are just small factors to love.
Love isn't about tingly feelings or dreamy smiles or fluttering hearts. It's something much deeper than any of those things. Though they are nice, they're not what love is all about.
No, I didn't know real love until I met Helga. She turned my entire life upside down and spun it around a few times just for fun. She laughed at me and mocked me and made numerous threats throughout my life. And even after we got together she didn't quite stop. A new side to all that stuff just showed itself is all. Now I get mocked and laughed at then hugged and kissed. It's a little weird, but I'm used to it by now. And surprisingly, I'm perfectly content with the setup.
That's what real love is. It's that deeper feeling of looking at someone, and knowing that no matter what, you'll never be able to part with them. Not because of the feelings they give you, but just because they're… them. It doesn't matter what they do or say to you, just as long as they stay themselves, you'll love them. It's what makes it so Helga can make me absolutely livid, but always back at her side by lunchtime. It's what makes it so I can so easily overlook her cruel, plotting behavior and smile when she's yelling at me. It's what makes it so easy for me to talk to her about anything and even laugh when she's being sarcastic. And it's what's made me look forward to seeing her smirk and made me constantly want to make her smile or laugh. It doesn't matter what flaws she has, I love her. It doesn't matter if she's nothing like what I pictured my dream girl to be, I love her. It doesn't matter that there are tons of other girls out there I could be having crushes on instead, I love her. If you asked me why, I couldn't really explain it. I just do. It's how it is, and I know that will probably never change. Maybe that's why so many people get divorced or are unhappy in their marriages; they get married because of those fuzzy, passionate feelings and not that underlying, deeper feeling of… true love. Of being unable to part with someone; of not being able to picture your future without them. It's not just a feeling of love, it's a feeling of family and belonging. It's weird, but… I feel it. It's a very… reassuring feeling, and it's better than all those fuzzy, happy feelings combined.
I had no idea what love was before I met Helga. But…
Now I do.
Now I feel it.
A/N: I swear, this is cutting it SO CLOSE to not being a drabble… -.o *Gulps*
But yeah, uh… Idk, I've just always thought that love seemed kinda selfish because you only stay with that person because they make you feel good. Kinda disturbed me. But just recently I came to the realization I didn't really think that anymore, and I thought about it, and realized love really is selfless. It's not about feeling good or anything, it's about something deeper, and makes it so even if they don't make you feel good you still come crawling back every time. It's a little pathetic, but eh, that's love for ya. *Shrugs* Turns even the most profound of people into bumbling imbeciles. Hehe.
*Porky the pig appears* Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-That's all folks! :D …Hey, wait, this isn't Warner Brothers. o_O A-A-A-Ah well… As long as I'm p-p-paid. ;)
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