Chapter 21: Taking sides.

It was one of the hottest days of the month yet. Lily was glad they were off to Scarborough for a week. The car was getting hotter as the day progressed. She leaned her head against the half-open window, to feel the cool wind on her face. She loved the sea and welcomed the opportunity to be able to add more to her shell collection.

She had tried to persuade Severus to come along, tempting him with all the wonderful plants and sea creatures they could collect, but he had been adamant he did not want to come, so she hadn't even asked her parents whether he could come or not. She assumed that even the long car journey with Petunia was enough to put him off.

Though she wasn't sure – he was behaving a bit oddly these last few days…He seemed quieter, and pre-occupied. She had asked him if all was well at home, but he had told her 'as well as can be', and left it at that. When she insisted, he asked if she had had any news from other Hogwarts students, but only Jenny had written back yet.

'Then I'll tell you when you come back' he had said, and refused to give any further information.

She sighed and opened the window of the car all the way down. Petunia was still prattling away about her new summer clothes and what she intended to do once they got to Scarborough, while their mother nodded vaguely every time she paused for breath.

She wondered what it was that he wanted to tell her, for the way he had spoken made her uneasy.

It was early afternoon when they arrived at their hotel, and Petunia wanted to try on her new sundress and go down to the beach immediately, so she bullied Lily into accompanying her (their mother was busy unpacking). Lily thought it best to humour her – anyway, a cool refreshing swim was just what she wanted.

She rummaged in her bag to find the new bikini her mother and Petunia had insisted on buying for her. She hadn't liked it – her old green and blue swimsuit had been fine, but Petunia said she didn't want to be seen with someone so unfashionable. She finally gave in when she found that her old swimsuit didn't fit her anyway.

She had grown taller these last few months – she had noticed that she was almost as tall as Severus now. It wasn't only her height that was changing either, she thought as she slipped on the bikini and surveyed herself in the mirror of the hotel bathroom. Her body was changing, too…. And she wasn't sure whether she liked what was happening. Her reflected image scowled back at her. Well, she supposed she could do nothing to avoid it, but she wished she hadn't got to endure Petunia's remarks about it too.

Sure enough, when she joined her sister, Petunia gave her the once-over:

"Humph, you will do, I suppose. Though you still look like a stick, whatever you may be thinking....'

'I don't care! I don't want to look any different…'

"You look nice, dear' said her mother 'You're starting to blossom into a young lady...'

'Mum, stop it! I'm not 'blossoming' into anything, I ….' Lily's face was getting red.

'It's nothing you can do anything about, you silly girl. Really!' Petunia rolled her eyes as she smoothed the skirt of her sundress.

'Off you go, girls. And Lily, don't forget your sunscreen lotion – you know how badly burnt you get. You, too, Petunia.' And she waved them off before they could continue.

Lily went out before Petunia, wishing she could duck her sister and her perfect dress under the next wave. It was bad enough feeling so self-conscious about her bikini without Petunia's snide remarks.

It was a very short walk to the beach, and she quickly dumped her things and ran off towards the cool waves, while Petunia was still laying out her towel on the deckchair. She relaxed the minute she was in the water, the cold shock invigorating her and the silence engulfing her as she dived. They had been on many seaside holidays, even in winter, and she had always loved the sea. She decided to go beach combing later on – she wanted to get Severus some of the red –brown seaweed that grew on the coast line. It was used in potions, and she knew he had no other means of getting it…

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Lily had looked for Severus all over their usual haunts – but he wasn't down by the river or even in one of the dilapidated houses on the way. She thought of going to Spinner's nd to look for him, but she remembered she had never asked him his exact address and it was getting late, for the sun was already setting.

They had just returned from Scarborough that afternoon and she was eager to show him all the things she had gathered from the beaches and rocky shores there, so she had quickly unpacked and set off in the direction of the river, carrying a canvas bag of seashore treasures. Feeling rather disappointed she hadn't found him, she set off for home, her arms aching with hauling her bag all over the place.

It was then that she saw him. He was sitting on a bench in the park, looking over his shoulder as though expecting someone.

"Hey, Sev! What are you doing here? I've been looking everywhere for you.'

'I didn't know what time you'll be back. I tried your house at noon, but there was no-one. Since this park is near your home, I thought I'd see your car coming. I must have missed you….'

'We arrived at three.'

'Must have dozed off, I guess.'

He hadn't slept much the previous night. His parents had had another blazing row. Tobias had found an owl waiting to deliver a newspaper, but before he could see it, Eileen had grabbed it and thrown it into the cooking stove fire; since she couldn't wipe it magically clean in front of him. This, of course, enraged Tobias, who quickly understood she was trying to hide something from him, and was determined to try and force it out of her.

'Well, thank goodness I found you, Severus' continued Lily, flopping down on the bench beside him. 'I've got so many things to show you. Look-'

She hauled the heavy bag between them and opened it eagerly.

'Oh, you've managed to find Kelp fire shrimps' he said, delving into the bag and picking up what looked like shrivelled chilli pods with legs. 'That's great Lily…'his face lighted up with enthusiasm at what the bag yielded. Lily watched him as he rummaged eagerly in her bag, coming up with other treasures '… whelk shells ... we can powder those for Pepper-up Potion, and red mermaid's hair seaweed for a Confusion Potion.'

'I really wish you could have come, Severus – I told you there are some really great things near the sea. I'm so glad to be back though....'

He stopped rummaging and looked up for a second.

'Why? I thought you enjoyed yourself?'

'Well, yes, I did, as long as I was alone rock pooling or swimming. But, well, let's say that, … Petunia was less than enthusiastic with my finds, especially when one of the crabs crawled into her bed…her screams got the hotel manager up to see what s wrong!' she laughed. 'And as for the crab … I'm afraid that carapace is all that's left'

She was glad to see the corner of his mouth twitch with laughter before he turned back to his examination of the pink underside of the carapace of the unfortunate crab she handed him.

'Anyway, Sev, I'm glad to be back, not only because I was tired of Petunia always complaining about how my sea things stink, and screaming every time she saw as much as a shrimp's whisker, but after the crab incident, she got even ruder about my lack of – of –' she paused, blushing. '- of womanly attributes.'

'Lack of what?'

'Never mind. Let's just say, it's nice to hear your voice again, Sev. At least someone who speaks my own language…'

He looked up for an instance with a small smile, then quickly looked down into the bag again, long curtains of dark hair hiding his face.

"You know, I've only got a letter from Jenny. I didn't check the mail when I was home, but I'm sure Thalia and Mary should have written by now. Even Xenia. They didn't send owls yet, so maybe they'll be using muggle post…'

She stopped. Severus was looking at her with something in his eyes that she hadn't seen before. It looked like fear.

'What?' she asked, slightly alarmed at the sudden change.

'Lily, remember before you left you asked if there was something wrong....'

'Yes, you told me you'd tell me when I got back. Why? What's wrong? Why are you looking like that?'

The bag lay forgotten between them. He swallowed as if his mouth was dry. Lily started to get seriously alarmed now.

'Lily, war has been declared.' He whispered his dark eyes boring into her own. The green eyes widened.

'What?!"

'It was on the Daily Prophet a few days before you left … the Ministry have declared war..'

'War on who?' she realised she was whispering too, though there wasn't anyone else in the park except a young couple with a radio at the other end.

'There is a Dark Lord, a very powerful wizard, called – called Lord Voldemort.' He paused, looking quickly around to see whether they could be overheard, and lowered his voice even further. "It seems that he has been gathering followers for years now. They say he is as powerful as Dumbledore and …'

'A dark wizard…?'

'Well, that's how he was described on the Daily Prophet…'

'So why doesn't the Ministry send Aurors after him. That's their job isn't it? Like Brocklehurst used to be, before he started teaching…'

'They say … they say they are no match for him. They say he knows magic – powerful magic that not even Dumbledore knows…' he spoke with awe in his voice.

'But – what does he want? To take over the Ministry?'

'In part, yes, I think.'

'But why didn't he just become Minister for Magic, if that's what he wants?'

'I guess it's a bit more complicated than that. My Mum says the Ministry is run by a lot of incompetent fools …and corrupt ones too. So perhaps he doesn't want to be part of that…'

'So what does he want then?'

Severus didn't answer. He fiddled with some strands of dry seaweed from the bag.

'Well?'

'He wants to change the way things are run, Lily.' He said, finally. 'To give magic and magic people their rightful dues, so that they can be proud of it and not have to hide…'

'But what about the Statute of Secrecy…?'

Severus shrugged.

'But, Sev, what's going to happen now?'

He looked up at her, his expression troubled.

'I – I don't know. My Mum says things will change quickly now – even at Hogwarts, because people always take sides in a war …'

Lily said nothing. She already did not quite like this Lord Voldemort, even if he may be fighting to change a corrupt system. She remembered what Alice Walker had told her on her first day at Hogwarts and wondered if it was the sect she had mentioned. She and the other first years had been so caught up in their new lessons that she had never asked Severus about it, though she had heard some whispered conversations along those lines, especially from the senior students.

'When you said 'magic people' what exactly did you mean?'

Severus scowled. 'I don't know – it's just what was on the Prophet – wizarding families, I guess.'

'Wizarding families ... Not muggleborns, then.' Lily started to get angry. "Sev, when I had asked you, you had said it didn't matter, and yet at Hogwarts…'

'I said the truth' he answered vehemently 'It doesn't matter to me!'

'Are you sure, because Alice told me that some people, Slytherins especially, think that only Pureblood families matter?'

'And who gives a damn what Alice Walker says! She's a pureblood herself!' he snapped angrily.

In spite of her best efforts, she felt the prickle of tears and looked away quickly. It did matter whether she was muggleborn or not – she had always suspected it, and now, with this war for wizarding family rights or whatever it was, where did it leave her, a muggleborn?

'So,' she said, after a while, in a voice of forced calm. 'Which side are you on, Severus?'

She wasn't looking at him, but felt him shifting beside her. He didn't answer her and finally she turned to face him. He was looking at her, but his eyes were unfocused and had a strange far-off look.

'I am not a Pureblood, Lily' he said.

Though he spoke bitterly, she was glad he did not sound angry anymore. 'I do not even know who my family is. So why are you asking me which 'side' I'm on? You, at least, have cousins, grandparents, a whole family tree…I don't. I was hoping that at Hogwarts I might find out more, but ….' He gave a frustrated sigh.

'Perhaps if you just ask your …'

'Anyway, why should we take sides?' he cut across her 'We're hardly out of first year, and years away from being of age...'

'Of age?'

'Of age – you're of age when you're 17 in the wizarding world. You can choose then, on which side to fight in this war.'

Lily looked at him, eyes wide. His words brought the reality of this war closer. 'I – I don't think I want to fight …' she stammered. 'People get hurt, killed…'

'Don't worry about it, Lily. Perhaps Mum's wrong, and Hogwarts won't be effected. Perhaps the war'll end soon…'

She saw he didn't look too convinced, but she didn't argue.

'Yes, perhaps you're right. Well, at least I'm certainly glad you're not a pureblood, Sev. Bad enough you're in Slytherin, not Griffindor ... you might not want to speak to me anymore in future...' she was half-joking, half serious.

'That's not true! I'd never...' he stammered, indignantly. 'Lily, you know I'd always speak to you ...' There was an anxious, almost pleading tone in his voice now.

Lily nodded, feeling a bit ashamed. 'Yes, I know. I'm sorry, Sev. But this talk of war is getting me worried.'

Severus visibly relaxed.

'As for being in Slytherin – I'll just remind you that we won the house cup this year – again! And Griffindor have placed third! So I think it's you who should be wishing you were sorted in Slytherin. Now, come on, let's go to your house and powder those whelk shells and dry the seaweed or the mould'll get it.'

They stuffed back everything inside Lily's canvas bag and set off in the twilight towards Lily's house.

They didn't speak much about the war again. Lily received an owl from Mary but there was nothing more than what Severus had told her – only that war had been declared and that her brother was trying to find a job in England to be nearer home because of it.

Lily was worried because, from what she had learnt about Wizard Wars in History of Magic, they were bloody affairs, and many people were killed – not just magic people but even muggles. And if what Alice Walker had told her last year was true, then muggles would certainly be involved, whether they knew it or not. She was afraid for her family, but she decided to tell them nothing, not to alarm them until she knew a bit more.