August 2012
Standing by the blinking console panel, I watched anxiously as Stan heaved the last barrel of nuclear waste over and began to pour it into the fuel input tube.
"Stan..." my voice wavered nervously as I watched the gauge. It didn't seem to be moving at all in the cold, pulsing blue light illuminating the whole basement.
"Come on, come on. Should be just enough to finish the job." Stan muttered to himself, almost coaxing the machine to work with him as he wiped his forehead.
We both jumped as a buzzer sounded and the gauge flashed a green light.
"It's working?" I asked in shock, completely convinced we were going to blow up half the town.
"It's working." Stan grinned as above our heads, the screens lit up with large letters "Event Initialised" and an 18 hour countdown.
I stared at the clock.
18 hours? Until what?
Ford's homecoming? Or worse... Global destruction.
I tried not to let my apprehension show. I'd felt slightly better about working down here after finally telling Stan everything, but I couldn't shake the feeling we were asking for trouble now the portal was working properly.
Stan was back at the control panel, adjusting the controls according to the decoded blueprints.
"Right, let's see... "Warning", blah blah blah, "extreme usage could result in minor gravity anomalies", Can it Poindexter!" Stan shoved the journal closed and faced the portal excitedly.
I, on the other hand, was less than excited. What exactly was a minor gravity anomaly?
"We've come this far. We're not giving up now!" Stan glanced at me, smiling reassuringly as he reached for my hand. I swallowed my fear and took his hand.
I trusted Stan.
If he thought this was going to work, I was in it with him.
"Right. Not giving up." I heard myself say. Stan flicked the cover off the power button and slammed a fist down on it.
With a torturous whine, the portal began to light up and the ground rumbled as the gigantic structure came to life.
I gripped Stan's hand tighter, fear returning massively as the centre of the portal began to spin with a mechanical purr, lights blurring around the edge. For the first time in 30 years, it finally sunk in that we'd been building a literal portal. It had never looked so futuristic. Or terrifying.
"Yes! This is it baby!" Stan crowed beside me.
I squeaked in response as I suddenly felt my feet leaving the ground. Stan reacted quickly, pulling me closer and tightening his grip on me as we hovered in the air surrounded by papers, tools and old coffee mugs.
"I guess this is one of those minor gravity anomalies." I muttered, hoping Dipper and Mabel weren't being affected by this.
We floated back down, stumbling slightly as gravity returned to normal.
"It's gonna be a bumpy ride, but it'll all be worth it." Stan reassured, strapping a miniature version of the countdown on his wrist and synchronising it.
"I guess. Just hope gravity doesn't get too crazy."
It didn't seem like Stan was listening anymore.
"Just eighteen more hours. Finally, everything changes. Today."
I wasn't as happy.
Would it be changing for better or for worse?
Only the next eighteen hours would tell... or the next seventeen hours and fifty-four minutes and counting.
X
After all the morning's excitement with the fireworks, I was happy to take a break and step into the cool kitchen and get a drink.
It seemed my fears about the gravity anomalies getting worse was unfounded. Despite the initial one, the rest of the day had proceeded like normal (or as normal as normal could be in this town) and I was even starting to feel excited by the prospect of seeing Ford come home. It really had been too long since I'd seen him and, since one of us had been in another dimension, I was eager to make up for the lost time. Maybe Stan had been right, the danger was greatly over exaggerated.
I snorted to myself, that would be a first.
But for once, Stan's stupid optimism and frustrating pigheadedness seemed to have paid off.
Grabbing the two soda's from the fridge, I walked back outside to join Stan on the couch as Mabel and Dipper continued to wage war on each other with water balloons.
"Thanks baby." Stan grinned, his happiness contagious as he took the open can from me.
"I got to hand it to you Stan, this may end up being a perfect day." I hinted, as Dipper attempted to throw a balloon at Mabel, only to fail and get smacked in the face by Mabel's water balloon. Mabel ran after Dipper, screeching and waving her popsicle like a weapon.
"Ah." Stan took a swig of the soda. "This is what Saturdays are for. Doing dumb things forever."
I had to agree with him there.
"DOING DUMB THINGS FOREVER!" Dipper and Mabel jumped into a giant pile of water balloons, which exploded into a wave of water.
Stan and I yelped and laughed as we were caught by some of the splash, giddy on what we seemed to be pulling off today.
Mabel extended her popsicle toward us in a mock toast.
"To Grunkle Stan and Grauntie Carla! Not just great..."
"The GREATEST!" Dipper joined in, both of them suddenly tossing two water-filled balloons at us.
I ducked with a giggle as Stan flailed slightly to avoid being hit as he laughed heartily.
"Alright, alright. I'm telling ya, it's unnatural for siblings to get along as well as you do."
I smiled fondly, patting his arm. I knew another set of twins who'd been the same at that age...
"Ha-ha! Don't worry. We've still got plenty of summer left to drive each other crazy!" Mabel tackled her brother into a bear hug. Dipper used a massive water balloon to push Mabel away, the balloon popping on Mabel's face.
I laughed, glancing at Stan, who had gone very quiet with a worrying expression his face.
"Yeah, plenty of summer left..." He looked at his wrist where the timer was hidden under his sleeve and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. I frowned slightly.
Was Stan worried about something? Why hadn't he told me? Everything was ok, wasn't it?
Mabel and Dipper approached us, still snacking on the popsicles.
"Kids, there's something we, uh, something I should tell you. It's, um," Stan hesitated, scratching his chin as Mabel and Dipper gazed at him. I realised I was holding my breath as I caught the meaning behind Stan's words.
Would telling them the truth now be a good idea? Would they even understand?
"Um, well, it's complicated. I... I'm gonna refresh my soda!" Stan suddenly changed tack and stood, walking around the corner of the house. I stared after him, considering going after him when Dipper coughed to get my attention.
"Um, Grauntie Carla? What was that about?"
"I..." I hesitated. This wasn't really my secret to share alone. "I don't know Dipper. But I'm sure Stan will tell us."
"You really don't know Grauntie Carla?" Mabel hopped up next to me. "You always know what Stan's doing, or when he's been arrested. Wouldn't you know his secret's too?"
Damn.
The sweet girl had me.
I opened my mouth to lie when a sudden shout stopped me.
That was Stan!
Oh god! What happened? The portal?!
"What the-!" Dipper and Mabel took off at a run around the house, me not far behind them.
What we found shocked me to the core.
The shack was surrounded by military and government vehicles, two helicopters hovering over head as a group of agents wrestled Stan over to a car.
"Ugh! Hey, hands off, you stooge!" Stan struggled as his head was forced down onto the car. "Aah! I don't understand! What did I do that warrants this much arresting?!"
"Stan!" I momentarily forgot about the kids, panic setting in as I ran to where Stan was being handcuffed. "Get off him! What's the meaning of this?" I protested, tugging uselessly at the officer's arms.
"Please ma'am. Don't get in our way." They intoned flatly, brushing me off. I bristled.
"That's my husband and I demand to know what's going on! Why is he being arrested?" I placed my hands on my hips and glared at them.
"The government guys?" Dipper gasped. "I thought you got eaten by zombies?" I turned to find Agents Power and Trigger approaching.
"We survived, barely." Agent Trigger looked across at me and whispered something into his wrist as Powers held up a digital tablet.
"This is security footage of a governemt waste facility." He informed us, the screen playing the security footage. "At oh four hundred hours last night, someone robbed three hundred gallons of dangerous waste."
"What?! You think that I did it?" Stan was doing a good job, still struggling with the agents pinning him down.
"Don't play dumb with us, Pines!" Powers barked.
"But I actually am dumb!" Stan protested as the agents finally succeeded in leading him toward a waiting patrol car. "Last night I was stocking the gift shop. I swear!"
"He really was! I can prove it!" I added, not noticing the agent approaching me from behind. But Stan did.
"Hey! Don't touch her! She's nothing to do with whatever this is! Carla!"
I realised a second too late and felt a set of hands grab my wrists, forcing them behind me.
"Hey! What is this?!" I yelled, glaring at agent Powers. "I've done nothing wrong!"
"We'll see Miss McCorkle, we'll see." Powers said slowly, my blood going cold. How, how had they found that out?
In my shock, I numbly felt the cold metal of the handcuffs tightening around my wrists.
"Wait, what?" Dipper looked hopelessly confused, Mabel almost vibrating in her panic.
"Wait! You can't! Grunkle Stan! Grauntie Carla! You've got the wrong people! Our Grunkle Stan might shop lift the occasional tangerine, but he's not some evil super villain! And Grauntie Carla-"
"Listen kids," Powers knelt in front of the twins as I was held still.
"We've been watching your family all summer and we've seen some disturbing things. But nothing as dangerous as what your uncle and auntie have been hiding. Somewhere in this shack is a doomsday device!" He stood and tossed the tablet at Trigger. "Trigger, you take the children. I'll accompany our criminal couple."
At his signal, I was roughly bundled into the car next to Stan, any fight gone and replaced by overwhelming dread about what was going to happen next.
"Sorry to break it to you kids," Powers slid his darkened glasses over his eyes, "but you don't know your auntie and uncle at all."
Powers snapped his fingers and several agents crowded Mabel and Dipper.
"Hey! You leave them alone!" I shouted, fear for the twin's safety lancing through me. I could handle being arrested, living with Stan had prepared me for that eventuality, but I didn't want those kids touched in anyway. "Mabel! Dipper!"
Powers slammed the car of the door, cutting off my shouts.
The twins looked at us, frightened and confused. Stan leaned across and thumped his hands on the window of the car.
"Kids! You gotta believe us! For once I'm actually innocent!"
"Step on it agent." Powers ordered, the car starting and beginning to pull away.
"Kids!" Stan and I yelled together, desperation clear as we were taken away.
They took us into Gravity Falls, heading for the local police station.
As the car came to a stop, Stan shuffled closer and managed to nudge his shoulder against mine.
I glanced at him, still feeling slightly numb.
"Whatever they ask ya Carla, lie." Stan hissed, eyes wide. "Ya not gonna get dragged down in this with me. Do whatever ya got to to get out, even if it means letting me take the fall."
"Stan!" I stared. "I can't do that."
"Ya gotta baby. We've only got a few hours left. Someone needs to get back to the shack. Lie Carla! Lie like ya've never lied before! I love you baby." Stan whispered, leaning back as Powers and the other agent pulled us from the car.
"Miss McCorkle can wait in the second interrogation room with the local police." Powers ordered. I saw Stan's face pale at the use of my real name.
"Yes sir." The agent tightened his grip on my arm and escorted me up and into the building.
"Wait, Stan! Stan!" I called out, trying to dig my heels in as the fear kicked in again.
"It's alright Carla. It's alright!" Stan reassured as I was tugged in the opposite direction to him.
I was vaguely aware of my tears starting, Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland looking uncomfortable by the interrogation room's door.
"Kepp her in here until Agent Powers has talked to her." The agent holding me passed me over to Blubs as the sheriff nodded nervously.
"Come on Mrs Pines. Let's not make it worse." He encouraged uselessly as he helped me sit at the table, Durland closing the door behind us.
I wanted to laugh through my tears.
Make it worse?
Stan was being interrogated by government officials, would probably end up locked up in a government facility for a lifetime (once they found the empty barrels of nuclear waste) and I had no idea where Dipper and Mabel were... Not to mention there was an unstable dimensional portal still counting down to possible global destruction under the town. How much worse could it get?!
Gaining a control on my tears, I swallowed hard and glanced at the nearby clock.
God, how long had it been since this morning? How long did we even have before the countdown ended? Stan still had the synchronized counter. I was clueless. What did I do next?
Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland sat opposite me, looking more nervous than I was.
"Now, Mrs Pines, we're sure this is all some sort of mix up but..." Blubs started. I stared at him unseeingly, trying to figure out my next move.
As it turned out, the portal decided my next move for me. There was a rumble and the room shook before we all floated off of the ground. Trying my best to stay centred while staying in my chair, I gritted my teeth and waited for the gravity anomaly to pass.
That was worse than this morning. Maybe we were close to the end now. Would they be getting stronger? And if they did, could we survive them?
I wished again that I knew where Stan and the twins were.
We all hit the ground again suddenly, my chair rocking but thankfully I stayed upright. Blubs and Durland did not.
"What was that?!" Durland asked hysterically from the ground.
"I don't know!" Blubs replied in terror.
I rolled my eyes while they couldn't see me. Deciding that Stan's advice was the best approach, I started to sniff loudly and let my tears fall freely again.
As both police officers stood up, they saw my tears.
"Aw, now, now don't cry Mrs Pines." Blubs said. I sobbed harder, grateful for my years spent living with a professional conman who excelled in showmanship. This should be easy.
"I-I, - I'm, I'm s-sso so-sorry b-boys," I hiccupped, "I-I'm just so scared and confused! I don't understand any of it! The government took my husband away, we just floated in the air, and I don't know where my niece and nephew are..." I let my voice waver and crack. "What am I g-go-going to tell their parents?!" I wailed.
Durland sniffed himself and held out his handkerchief to me. I gave him my best, brave old lady smile.
"Thank you young man, but I- I can't..." I rattled my handcuffs for emphasis, allowing myself another sob.
"Oh lord! Just uncuff her Edwin." Blubs caved first, "She's clearly not a criminal!"
Durland rushed to unlock my hands and I gave him a thankful smile as I grasped his wrist gently.
"Bless you Edwin Durland. You are a sweetheart."
Durland blushed.
"Would you like a cup of tea Mrs Pines?" the young man asked, patting my hand softly. I nodded gratefully.
"You're a dear."
Handing me his hanky, Durland unlocked the door and hurried away. I made a great show of drying my eyes with little half sobs and deep breaths.
Sheriff Blubs tutted under his breath.
"What are those Government guys thinking? You couldn't have possibly been involved in this craziness." He leaned across and patted my hand as gently as Durland had.
I figured now was as good as any time to try and get out of here.
"Couldn't you just let me go?" I asked, still pretending to wipe tears away. "I need to find my niece and nephew!"
Blubs shifted uncomfortably, glancing over my shoulder at the door.
"I can't do that Mrs Pines. I want to, but these are Government Officials." He whispered, almost seeming scared they'd be watching and listening to us. "But I suppose it wouldn't harm for us to leave you in here alone. They just said you had to stay in here, you don't need to be watched. I'll even tell them that there was no way you were involved. How does that sound?"
"You'd do that for me?!" I asked, grabbing his hand tightly with a smile. "Oh Sheriff Blubs! How could I ever thank you?" I was a little worried about laying it on too thick, but Blubs had bought it.
"Aww, now don't mention it." Blubs dismissed with a smile.
Durland came back with a steaming cup of tea.
"Come on Durland. I think we can leave Mrs Pines in peace. Besides I have a surprise for you in the staff room." He grabbed his partners arm as they both left the room, and perhaps, most importantly, left the door unlocked.
Relaxing slightly, I glanced at the clock again.
How long now?
I paced back and forth, growing more and more agitated, my tea forgotten and cold on the table. It had been over an hour. Every time I'd risked a peek out of the door, the police building had still been swarming with government agents.
The gravity anomalies had kept occurring at an increased pace and I was worried they were getting too strong.
We should never have reactivated that damn portal. Look where it had gotten us!
Just then, another anomaly hit. I swore as my shoes left the floor and I was left suspended several feet in the air.
I heard a sudden commotion outside my door and tried to swim uselessly toward it. As the anomaly passed, I hit the ground hard on all fours. Cursing, I rubbed my knees and hobbled to the door. Opening it slightly, I saw government agents streaming past, all heading out of the building.
Getting across to the window, I saw my Stanley ducking down behind an over turned car as the government agents chased after a speeding cab. Stanley caught his breath for a moment before taking off at a run down the streets.
Relief flooded me. He was ok! But at the speed he was running, we couldn't have long. I needed to take my chance and get out of here, NOW.
Opening the door, I crept out into the hallway. I couldn't see anyone. Good start.
I snuck past Blubs and Durland who had fallen through the door of the staff room with a piñata. Getting out onto the street, I followed after Stanley as fast I could.
X
Panting heavily, I hid behind the trees surrounding the Mystery Shack.
Leaning against a tree, I slid down and rested for a few moments.
I'd landed heavily after the last gravity anomaly... and pushing myself to get to the shack as fast as I could certainly hadn't helped things. I wasn't as young as I once had been.
Taking a deep breath, I forced myself up and looked at the shack.
Suddenly there was a commotion as a car pulled up at speed.
Agent Triggers leapt from the car.
"Stanford escaped! He's at large! We need to sweep the town! Move! Move! Move!"
There was a flurry of activity and I ducked back under the wild scrub as agents ran past.
Once it was quiet again, I took another look at the shack.
There was still several agents covering the house.
Hoping like mad Stan had managed to get inside, I looked around for my best option. All that mattered now was getting down into the basement before the world went to hell.
A small scuffling near my foot made me glance down. A small, grey haired gnome was attempting to fight a pinecone.
I picked him up, careful to hold him by the scruff of his neck.
"Schmebulock!" The gnome grunted and tried to twist out of my grip.
"Shush." I hissed and carefully snuck from tree to tree until I spotted Gompers secured near the back porch.
"Perfect." I muttered, spotting the old cellar chute nearby.
"Schmebulock?" The gnome said.
"Yeah, yeah buddy. Schmebulock." I replied out the corner of my mouth. I waited until the agents weren't looking and quickly lobbed the gnome over to Gompers. In a flash, Gompers was pulling at his restraints. As the little gnome climbed unsteadily to his feet, Gompers gave a loud bleat and yanked himself free.
I watched as he ploughed after the gnome, causing the agents to scatter.
Making a break for it, I dashed across to the house, pulled the phoney padlock off the door and quickly slithered into the old cellar chute, managing to yank the doors closed behind me.
I slid down into the darkness, landing with a heavy thump in the original cellar.
My old bones groaned in protest as I hauled myself upright and and found the old wall panel that had been put up decades ago. Pushing it the side with another complaint from my body, I found myself staring at the elevator.
Listening carefully, I couldn't hear anyone close to the gift shop and decided to push my luck further. Jumping into the elevator, I jabbed the button for going down
Slipping out into the basement at the bottom, I jammed a fallen piece of wood between the doors. That would at least keep it from going back up should anyone find the hidden passage way.
Summoning all my willpower, and praying my knees would make it a little longer, I charged off down toward the control room.
A blinding light struck my eyes and I gasped, flinging a hand up in front of me.
The portal!
"T-minus thirty-five seconds." The computer announced just before I could reach the door to the portal.
I felt the ground begin to shake again, my feet beginning to leave the ground again.
Heart in my mouth, I grabbed for the table, only to miss by a inch. I was thrown up into the ceiling, a pained groan leaving my lips. Grabbing a nearby pipe, I clung to it desperately.
This was all wrong!
It was too late! There was no way to stop it now, not without being in serious danger! Where was Stan?!
"You gotta trust me!"
I started.
That was Stan's voice! Who was he talking to?!
"T-minus twenty seconds"
The portal flashed, the light growing even brighter as it's whirring increased in pitch.
A strong wind gusted over me, threatening my hold on the pipe. I gritted my teeth and reached out for the next handhold I could find, another old pipe. Hauling myself further forward with difficulty, I tried to make it to the door to the portal, where Stan's voice had come from.
"Look into my eyes, Mabel! Do you really think I'm a bad guy?"
"He's lying! Shut it down NOW!"
"Mabel, Please!"
My heart plummeted.
Mabel and Dipper where down here! Oh god! We'd endangered everyone!
"Ten. Nine."
My hands caught the edge of the door lintel and I dragged myself closer, bracing one foot against the wall as best I could.
"Grunkle Stan..."
"Six. Five."
"I trust you."
I barely heard Dipper's angry scream as I saw Mabel's tiny frame outlined by the swirling horror of the portal.
"MABEL!" I screamed just as the world went white from the portal exploding.
Hearing their panicked screams, I redoubled my grip on the door.
I sure that this was the end, we were all going to die, Stan and I had failed, Mabel and Dipper were dead, the world could be burning, we never even got to say goodbye, Ford was never coming home, Stan, everything we'd worked for...
There was an agonising groan of tearing metal and I squeezed my eyes closed tighter.
Any second now, I was going to die, I knew it.
A massive shudder went through the basement, or whatever was left of it, and my grip faltered slightly. Scrabbling slightly, I fought to keep my grip.
But gravity had returned, and with it, I was helpless to prevent my fall to the floor..
I heard, rather than felt, my impact on the cold surface, my ankle crumpling under my weight. I bit back a cry and rolled. A shooting pain flared along my ankle and I whimpered, finally opening my eyes again.
It was dark.
Or maybe I had been blinded by the portal seconds before everything exploded? But... if everything had exploded, why was I still here? And where was here?
Feeling around, I found a wall and pushed myself up shakily.
Taking a tentative step, I bit my lip as the pain in my ankle threatened to overwhelm me, opting for an odd hop and limp along the wall. As I moved, my eyes adjusted and I found myself still in the basement.
Reaching the door again, I stared in shock at the destroyed portal.
Collapsed on its side, wires dangling and sparking, chunks of metal lying twisted on the ground, a dying blue glow at its centre... it hadn't worked.
I felt my throat constrict, my breathing rapidly shallowing.
It hadn't worked!
And we'd put everyone in danger!
Where were they?!
Limping forward, I stumbled through the door, desperate to find the twins and Stan.
My heart skipped a beat as I caught sight of Mabel and Dipper getting to their feet, Stan sprawled next to them. And Soos was with them! Everyone was alive and moving!
And, wait.
There was someone else, someone climbing down from the portal's wreckage and heading toward Stan.
They paused, reaching for something on the ground.
"What...? Who is that?" Dipper asked.
"The author of the journals..." Stan said from his position on the ground.
The stranger pulled a pair of goggles away from his face and I gasped.
It was Ford!
We'd done it! He was actually back!
"... my brother." Stan finished as he climbed to his feet, Ford already staring at him.
I could hear Mabel talking, but my heart was pounding hard and the blood rushing past my ears was near deafening.
I just couldn't believe it!
He was alive, and he was right here!
I didn't know what to feel...
"Finally! After all these long years of waiting, you're actually here! Brother!"
... until Ford punched Stan.
Stan stumbled backwards as a red hot anger flooded me.
"Oh! Ow! What the heck was that for?!" Stan grumbled.
I started moving towards the brothers as fast as I could. Ford was clearly angry and looking ready to attack Stan. Like hell that was going to happen! Not while I was still standing!
"This was an insanely risky move; restarting the portal! Didn't you read my warnings?!" Ford sounded far sterner, much angrier than I'd ever heard.
"Warnings, schmarnings. How's about maybe, a thanks for saving you from what appears to be, I dunno, some kind of sci-fi sideburn dimension?"
Stan was always his most obnoxious when feeling attacked.
"Thank you? You really think I'm gonna thank you after what you did THIRTY YEARS AGO?!"
Oh that was rich coming from FORD!
I barged past the Soos and the kids, ignoring their surprise at my presence, only focused on stopping the fight that I could see was about to start.
"What I did? Why, you ungrateful-" Stan threw a punch that Ford ducked easily, grabbing Stan around the waist. Stan squirmed, years of not having to fight having dulled his reactions.
"Don't expect me to go easy on you, just because you're... fam-"
Just as Ford twisted Stan's arm behind his back, I barrelled into both of them. All three of us hit the floor. Ford let go of Stan in all the commotion, only to grab me and pin me to the floor, a terrifying anger in his face that faded almost the instant he recognised me.
"Carla?" He asked, stunned. I took the advantage and jammed my elbow into his ribs, Ford rolling to the side, winded.
There was the patter of feet and Mabel stepped into my line of vision.
"Hey, hi. Mabel here. Quick question, WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!" she yelled.
Ford jumped to his feet, Stan hurrying to help me up. I winced and leaned on his arm heavily as Ford scanned the room.
"Stan, you didn't tell me there were children down here. Or that Carla was," Ford cut himself off and stared at Soos. "Or some sort of large, hairless gopher?"
Soos laughed easily.
"Heh heh, I get that a lot."
"They're your family Poindexter. Shermie's grandkids." Stan snapped.
At that, I left his side, hobbling over to Mabel and Dipper and hugging them tightly.
"Thank god you're alright! I had no idea where you were! You're ok? No bruises, no bleeding? Everyone still have all their limbs?" I babbled as I frantically checked them over for injuries. Dipper pulled away from me first.
"No, but Grauntie Carla, did you kn-"
He was cut off by Soos wrapping his arms around all three of us and squeezing.
"I'm so glad you're ok Mrs Pines."
"Thank you Soos." I patted his arm. "You can let go now."
I hissed as he released us, my ankle threatening to give way again.
"Carla!" Stan rushed over, for once leaving Ford forgotten, and grabbing me tightly. "You ok?"
"That last anomaly kicked my butt. Hurt my ankle." I tried to assure him, despite my claw-like grip on his arm. "Looks like it worked though."
"Yeah." Stan muttered darkly, both of us looking back at Ford. He was staring at us all, a stunned expression on his face.
"Yo-you're married? And I, I have a niece and nephew?" Ford asked as Mabel approached him. Ford dropped to his knee and extended a hand.
"Greetings." He shook Mabel's hand. "Do kids still say greeting? I haven't been in this dimension for a really long time."
"Whoa, a six-fingered handshake? That's like, a whole finger friendlier than normal!" Mabel was handling things in her own special way.
"Heha, I like this kid! She's weird!"
Stan muttered something obscene under his breath and I nudged him tiredly. Maybe if the kids could work their magic, Ford wouldn't get angry again for a little while longer.
I certainly couldn't stop another fight. Ford was a lot bigger and stronger than I remembered him.
"I- I can't believe it. You're the author of the journals!" Dipper was pale and stunned.
"You've read my journals?"
"I haven't just read them, I've lived them! I've been waiting for so long to meet you, I- I don't know what to say," Dipper was pacing in circles, breathing heavily, "I have so many questions, I- Oooooohhh I think I'm gonna throw up."
Mabel ran over and began patting her brother's back as he heaved slightly.
"Hmmpf! No – no, false alarm. Hmmpf! Just gotta ride it out!"
Ford looked as perturbed as we were by Dipper's dry heaving, but rallied himself quickly.
"You've endangered all of these people Stan." He said crossly, gesturing toward me. "Look at Carla, she's hurt, badly."
I waved a hand weakly.
"I'm fine," I tried to sound convincing as Stan looked at me, "really. I'm just not as young as I used to be. But I'm still standing."
A wave of pain hit me again and I swayed slightly.
"Or maybe it would be a good idea if I sat down." I muttered, Stan and Soos quickly helping me to rest against one of the broken metal craters that had powered the portal.
Stan winced guiltily as I hissed in pain. I shook my head at him.
"I'm fine Stan. It's not life-threatening."
"Ya sure baby?"
"Sure."
"Listen, there will be time for all this later." Ford took over, much bossier than I last remembered too. "But first, tell me Stan, are there any security breaches? Does anyone else know about the portal?"
"No, just us." Stan gestured at everyone." Also, maybe the entire U.S. Government."
"The what?!" Ford was furious.
Suddenly we all heard a voice coming from the control room.
"Fan out! We're not going anywhere 'til we find Stan Pines and those kids!"
"Guess one of the screens is ok." Soos glanced through the window.
Ford sighed heavily, beginning to pace slightly.
"Okay. It's all right. We've got a while before they find this room. We just need to lay low and think of a plan."
"I don't know if this helps, but I jammed the door of the elevator open after getting down here." I volunteered, "should stop the elevator from going back upstairs, even if they find the secret door."
"Good job baby." Stan praised, Ford giving me a brief, appraising gaze.
"Yes. Well done Carla."
"You knew about the secret door behind the vending machine Great Auntie Carla?" Dipper asked, the look of betrayal evident on his face. My heart panged painfully at his use of the formal "Great Aunt", but I nodded anyway.
"Yes Dipper," I sighed, "I knew about all about the portal and about Stan's brother."
Dipper turned away from me and for a moment, the pain in my heart at seeing him so hurt eclipsed the pain from my ankle.
"It's not ya Grauntie's fault kid." Stan reached for Dipper, looking equally hurt as Dipper pulled away from him too. "I'm the only reason she lied to you guys... and the reason she ended up mixed up in this mess."
"Ok. Well, it looks like we're stuck down here for a while. Who wants to tell us their entire mysterious and personal history?" Mabel chimed in, looking less betrayed than her brother even as she comforted him.
"Yes, I have some questions about this myself Stanley." Ford glared at his brother.
Dipper turned suspiciously.
"Stanley?"
"But your name is Stanford." Mabel asked, looking questioningly at Stan as she walked over to sit next to me.
Ford rounded on Stanley.
"Wait, you took my name?! What have you been doing all these years, you knucklehead?!"
"Yeah! Grunkle Stan, no more lies!" Dipper fumed. "You owe us some answers, what's the deal with this portal? Why did you keep this a secret?"
"And what happened between you and your brother?" Mabel added.
Stan gave me a tired look and I shrugged.
There was no avoiding it now.
This was the moment.
Time for the entire truth to come out. Every last dirty detail. And every one of our lies exposed.
It was going to be a rough ride.
"I hope this all aligns exactly with my fanfic, Stan. If not I will be very disappointed." Soos pointed out, joining everyone expectantly waiting for one of the brothers to start talking.