The Demon Barber is Alive!
Chapter 21: The Mysterious Case of Anthony's Twitching Eyebrow
A/N: Apologies for any confusion in my last A/N….the title: I love you, still. Has nothing to do with Anthony's eyebrow…I originally had this chapter's name as the name of the last one, but I changed it at the last minute when I realised the chapter didn't even touch on his eyebrow…I promise that we will take a very close look at Anthony Hope's eyebrow in this chapter!!
Driven is standing up on a cherry picker with a paintbrush, carefully doing Johnny Depp's soulful, chocolate eyes.
She's humming Epiphany to herself when Robina flies up to her with a package, "Driven, It came!"
Driven struggles to take her eyes of Johnny Depp and replies, "What came?"
"Your wings!" Robina opens the box and pulls out a pair of Maximum Ride wings, she somehow, possibly using buenananana magic, attaches them to driven's back, "How do they feel?!" she laughs.
Driven swoops up and from the top of the roof yells, "Fantastic, I could kick any eraser's ass with these!"
Robina flies up to join her, "Do you reckon we should get some done for the unicorns?"
"Maybe Charlie but the others are bad enough, even without wings!" she flies back to the cherry picker.
"As you wish," Robina shoots down to the floor and hits the bottomless pool with a splash.
Johanna and Anthony are lounging on the deck of the bountiful on extremely modern lounges,
Anthony is wearing board shorts and Johanna is wearing a purple bikini, surprisingly they have had no strange looks from the rest of the crew.
"Anthony?" Johanna yawns up at the sunny sky lazily. I know this story is usually gloomy but the characters deserve a break from all the Sweeney related angst don't they?
He pushes expensive sunglasses up onto his head and says, "Yes Johanna?"
"I…I never thought I'd say this but I…I want to go…home," She replies. Well, the sunlight can't last forever can it?!
"But, where will you live?" He can't help but remember Johanna continuously refusing to live in his house.
"Well, I thought, I could go stay with Nellie and Father at first, then maybe...I might come to live with you….after we have our wedding..." she takes his hand.
"You mean that we can finally start planning it?!" He squeezes the life from her delicate hand.
"Yes and I thought, Well you know how Mrs. Lovett's happiness always seems forced, well it does to me, anyway…" she thinks back to months of Nellie forcing a smile and somehow continuing with her ridiculous job.
"Yes, Johanna," Anthony knows that Nellie loves Mr. Todd, sometimes he finds himself wondering if Mr. Todd knows.
"Well I would like to have her as my maid of honour; I don't know many people and Nellie has always been so kind to me, like a mother really! I thought it might cheer her, perhaps. Father could be your best man if you liked," she smiles, "We could pair them up as a couple, just for the purpose of the wedding, you know, we wouldn't mean anything by it," She grins at her plan.
"Yes, I'm sure that she would find it very exciting," Anthony smiles knowingly out at the ocean. If there is anything Nellie wants, it is to have Sweeney to herself.
Johanna rises from her lounge and goes to stand over her fiancé, "Just how, when this ship is bound for India, shall we get back to London?"
Anthony ponders this for a moment and then says, "Jetpacks,"
"Oh, of course in the 1800s, why didn't I think of that?!" she says with a hint of sarcasm.
"I haven't the slightest clue," He stands up with her and they both clap their hands, not once, not twice but thrice! A very classy looking butler appears, "Yes, oh great ones?" he bows.
"We would like two jet packs please," Johanna smiles, "and a map."
"Of course," the man rushes off like he always carries out ridiculous orders like this. A few minutes later he is back carrying two shiny, silver jetpacks. He gives them one each and hands Anthony the map. He runs away without another word.
"Alright, are we ready?" Anthony puts on his jet pack as Johanna does the same.
Johanna thinks back to the other frog and wonders if she should free it, she decides not to. Doing up the last strap she says, "We are going home,"
SCENE CHANGE TO 186 FLEET STREET!!!!
Sweeney is rocking back and forth, watching the midday sun through a grimy window, nursing his slightly injured hand, sitting on a lounge in the sitting room, a cold, untouched cup of tea is in front of him and pie hag is in the bakehouse putting another three dozen pies into the oven.
He has had a lot of time to think of late, he knows his hand is probably fine but he doesn't want to risk infection from the pie hag's old blades.
He misses his Lucy, it seems that he misses her more than ever lately, ever since that dream. He misses Nellie, not Mrs Lovett the pie hag, they are two different people. Mrs Lovett aka pie hag is a woman he cares nothing for and knows nothing of, a mere fleck on his life.
Nellie is the one that he loves. He cares for her. He wants to know everything about her past and be a part of her future, he needs her with him and he longs for her in the dark.
He longs to have Nellie back, not Mrs Lovett. Nellie seems to have disappeared. Why, he does not know…all he knows is that Mrs Lovett does not care for him much at all, a vague appreciation, nothing like the feelings that Nellie has for him, and the ones he has for her.
It has been an hour or so and Johanna and Anthony can see the thick, black smoke rising from the chimney of 186 Fleet Street.
They dive through the cloud and land, masterfully, in front of the pie shop. They take off the jet packs and suddenly they are wearing normal clothes again.
Anthony is wearing long pants and a sweater under a navy trench coat and Johanna is in a mauve dress and violet cloak due to the cool Autumn winds. They walk inside.
Mrs. Lovett, who has returned to the shop, rushes to the door and, without a word pulls Johanna into a tight hug. Johanna hugs her back and, after squirming away, smiles and says, "Oh, Nellie, I've missed you so! Where is father?"
Mrs. Lovett thinks about Sweeney's 'injured' hand and chokes laughing, "He's in the sittin' room, love."
Anthony nods his head at Nellie, "Hello ma'am,"
"Hello, love, how have you been?" she watches as Johanna rushes off to see Mr. Todd.
"You know…I really don't care to say," he shivers.
"Why is that love?" Nellie raises an eyebrow.
Anthony looks around and sneaks close to the baker and whispers, "I….I was kidnapped."
Mrs. Lovett almost chokes with laughter again before realising that he is serious, then all she can manage is a simple, "Oh, alright, love." Anthony sees Toby with a goat outside and runs over to see him.
Johanna opens the door and hears her father yell at her, "You! Close that door, the light will get in!"
She walks over to her father and says, "Hello, daddy, I'm home,"
"Come closer, my child," He beckons with his good hand, "I don't have much time left," Johanna sighs and leans down.
"What is it father?" she tries not to laugh.
"My arm…..it has been severed…I shall soon pass on…from loss of blood," he suddenly realises how ridiculous he sounds but continues raving on, "I don't want you to miss me…..Pie Hag….she will take care of you….and Toby and Will,"
"Who's Will?" she lets go of his hand.
"My apprentice…who, come to think about it, I haven't seen in days! Now leave…I wish to spend my last few moments in peace!"
Johanna suppresses a giggle and walks out. Sweeney watches her go and thinks of how ridiculous he's acting.
Anthony is outside singing 'if you're happy and you know it clap your hands' because he is so pleased to be back in London.
He sees Johanna and grabs her and yells, "If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it, if you're happy and you know it clap your hands!!!!" He squeals.
Johanna laughs at his facial movements and calls for Toby and Nellie, "Mrs. Lovett, Toby! Come quickly!"
Anthony stops singing as they run over. Johanna looks at the boy and the baker and smiles, "Look at his eyebrow when he sings…it twitches!"
"Sing, love," The baker nods.
Straightaway, Anthony takes a deep breath and, in a rather feminine voice, begins singing, "Green finch and linnet bird, nightingale, blackbird…..HOW IS IT YOU SINNNGG???!!!!"
Johanna stamps her foot, "Hey that's MY SONG!"
Anthony ignores her, "How can you jubilate sitting in cages…never taking WIINNNGGGG??!!! Outside the sky waits, BECKONING! BECKONING, just beyond the BARS! How can you remain…staring at the rain…MADDENED BY THE STAAAAARRSS??!!!! How is it you sing, anything…how is it you SINNNGG???!!"
"Oh, my lord…It does too!" Mrs. Lovett laughs.
"Wow!" Toby giggles, "Anthony your eyebrow is possessed!"
"It is not!" Anthony strokes the accused eyebrow.
"It does twitch like the devil don't it!?" Mrs. Lovett is still laughing.
Toby falls to the ground, giggling and Johanna even snorts.
Anthony runs off somewhere with his hand over his eyebrow.
Toby, Johanna and Mrs. Lovett stop laughing and Toby looks at Johanna and hugs her, "I missed you, Jo! Come and meet Marge!
Johanna is pulled over to greet a nanny goat.
SCENE CHANGE TO INSIDE THE SHOP!!!!
Mrs. Lovett is ruling up a serious of tests on how top find out whether or not Anthony's eyebrow is possessed. She finishes and, leaving it on the table, goes to check on Mr. Todd.
"Hello, love," she says. He wants to cry when he hears the limited amount of emotion in her voice so he decides to continue complaining, "Hag! My tea is cold….MAKE IT AGAIN!" He sneers.
"Oh…you great, lazy thing, sometimes I wonder why I love you …." She whispers to herself as she picks up the cup, "Anythin' else, love?"
He wants to stand up and hold her slim body and press her to himself and whisper, 'I love you', to her, "Nothing else," she turns and leaves and now he knows how she felt for all the time that he did not notice her.
SCENE CHANGE TO OUTSIDE THE SHOP!!!!! (I'm really dragging this chap out aren't I?!!)
Johanna has been telling Toby about how she was a frog…he believes her.
"What's her name again?" Johanna pats Marge.
"Marge, 'er name is Marge, Jo," He smiles up at Johanna. He is very fond of the yellow haired girl and thinks of her as his sister.
"How pretty," She hugs both the goat and the boy to herself, Isn't it great to be back in Fleet Street?! I didn't realise how much I missed it! Johanna, pale, fragile, frightened, once a prisoner, is now happy.
Truly Happy and all it took was a teenager and his goat.
Mrs. Lovett walks outside and calls for every one to come in, Johanna and Toby walk inside and Toby notices that Will is there too, even though he hasn't been out of his room in days. "What are you doin' Will?" Toby asks.
Will grins, "When Mrs. Lovett said we were examining a young man's face…I…like…TOTALLY couldn't REFUSE!"
Toby and Johanna shrug, with Johanna waving a quick, 'hello' to Will who blew a friendly kiss back, as is the style.
Mrs. Lovett walks over to Sweeney and leans down to him in his chair, "I'll tell you where your razors are if you stop makin' a fuss and come join us in an experiment," she bargains.
"Tell me first, hag," he whispers, pulling her closer by the lace around her sleeves.
"Where they were when I first gave 'em to you, you idiot," she laughs at him and rethinks as she goes to get up. Instead she kisses him. With no emotion or love, she just felt like telling him she still cared but really she wasn't sure if she did.
He moves his head, to kiss her back but she has already moved and is back with the others. He bite his lip and gets up and goes into the shop and sits down.
Nellie hands out sheets to every one, "These are all tests to see if Anthony's eyebrow is possessed,"
Sweeney takes the equipment, possessed eyebrow? "Am I missing something here?" he asks her.
Mrs. Nellie Lovett is oblivious to non-literal questions, "Pen, paper…no…you have everything!"
Sweeney sighs and reads the paper.
After a few minutes Nellie pulls Anthony to the front and says, "Alright, if you see the criteria next to test one put a tick next to it….Okay. Test one, Anthony, I will read it out, you have to repeat after me…but you have to sing...not speak,"
Anthony nods.
Mrs. Lovett reads out the line, "You would not believe your eyes…if ten million kangaroos came out of you closet and ate your food, Anthony,"
He sings, somehow managing to sound like a bad version of Owl City, "YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE YOUR EYES…IF TEN MILLION KANGAROOS…CAME OUT OF YOU CLOSET AND ATE YOUR FOOOOD!"
"Alright, that was the test for twitch counts. Write how many twitches you saw,"
Anthony takes a breath and watches pens move.
"Next song, ready Anthony?" Mrs. Lovett pulls out another piece of paper.
"Yes, ma'am,"
"Repeat: Mama, we all go to Hell, Mama we all go to Hell, It's really quite pleasant except for the smell…mama we all go to Hell…scream it out please Anthony," She says My Chemical Romance's 'MAMA'
This time Anthony sounds like a drunk, Gerard Way, "MAMA WE ALL GO TO HELL! MAMA WE ALL GO TO HELL…IT'S REALLY QUITE PLEASANT…EXCEPT FOR THE SMELL…MAMA WE ALL GO TO HEEELLLLLL!!!!!!"
"Okay that one was the demonic, heavy breathy test, if you saw traces of those put a tick,"
The test continues through the day and by seven at night Anthony had sung songs by everyone from Lady Ga Ga to The Beatles.
Tired, Anthony sits and watches as the sheets are passed to Nellie.
She folds them and somehow manages to fit them all into her bra. (That's the magic of Tim Burton films!)
Toby yawns and says, "G'night, everyone," and stumbles up to his room.
Will gives them all a nod and says, "Well, one needs one's beauty sleep," and tiptoes off to his room.
Mrs. Lovett smiles at Johanna and Anthony, "I'll let you know 'bout the eyebrow but for now…I'll leave you to it," She rubs her eyes and walks outside and up to the parlour.
Mr. Todd isn't going to let her just walk into HIS parlour so, still nursing his hand, he rushes up after her.
"That, Will, he's using my room, there's lounges in the other room, we could sleep on one of those..." Johanna smiles up at Anthony and his eyebrow.
"Alright…but we must begin wedding plans soon," They stand and walk into the sitting room and are asleep within moments on a lounge in each others arms. (Ah…young love…how sweet it is! MAKES ME SICK!!!)
A/N: Driven is finally finished her Johnny and Helena mural, she's flying around with Robina. She yells over to her, "Robina, disclaim this chapter please!"
Robina hovers in the air and an echo bounces over the walls as she yells, "driven does not own: Sweeney Todd, Anthony's eyebrow, jetpacks, Tim Burton Films, My Chemical Romance's 'MAMA', The parody version of 'Fireflies' by Owl City, Lady Gaga or The Beatles!" She swoops down and, expertly lands on the pink unicorn's back.
Driven follows and lands on the purple one, before realizing she is facing backwards, she turns around and both her and Robina scream, "Onward, to the temple of the Buenananana King!"
They gallop off into the sunset, yes there was a horizon and sky and sun in driven's warehouse, after all she's drivenbyrevenge, she can do anything.
(Please remember that driven's warehouse is inside a giant volcano, (the size of an island), and it also has underground tunnels, so there is a lot of space!)
REVIEW PLEASE!!!! : D
P.S: I'm doing a songfic for the next Chapter that reflects Sweeney and Nellie's mixed up feelings!