Author's Note: OK, this is even longer than the PRANK WAR!
If I do say so myself I think this is one of my best ones. Ish. OK, it depends on whether or not you like what I've done. If you don't, I'm sorry!
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice, or anything mentioned here!
Chapter 21: HYPER
Robin stared after the archer and the speedster as they dashed out of the room. He frowned in slight confusion but dismissed it and went back to watching the TV, only to find that Superboy had changed the channel back to static. Robin sighed and left the room. He zeta'd home to Wayne Manor and went to bed. He didn't feel like sleeping in the cave with a crazy speedster and a furious archer.
He changed and went to bed; knowing Bruce, Alfred or his alarm would wake him up for Patrol.
Sure enough, the alarm went off a few hours later and he changed quickly and went straight to the Batcave. He and Batman drove to Central Gotham and set about stopping the crime going on.
oooo0000OOOO {-} OOOO0000oooo
Artemis pulled the covers up over her head to block out the sound; it still reached her ears loud and clear. "Go to sleep! You little creep! It is way past your bedtime! May your dreams turn into NIGTMARES! And all your teddy-bears will DIE!" Wally's voice echoed around the otherwise silent cave from his room down the hall. Miraculously, Miss Martian and Superboy were sleeping through it; either that, or doing a great job at ignoring the speedster; who'd been singing stupid songs for the last two and a half hours.
"OHHH, Go to SLEEEEP! You little CREEEEP! It is WAAAYYYYY past your bedtime!"
"Wally! Shut up!" Artemis hollered, pulling her pillow over her head to block out the sounds; it didn't work.
"All your teddy-bears will DIE! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" his freaky, high pitched evil cackle echoed through the cave.
"WALLY! STOP SINGING!"
"Hush-a-bye, don't you cry," he began
"WALLY!"
"Go to sleepy little baby!"
"WALLACE WEST! So help me . . !"
"When you wake, you shall have, all the pretty little ponies!"
"Do you want to get hurt?! Coz you're asking for it!"
"Black's and Bays, Dapples and Greys! All the pretty little ponies!"
"WALLY!"
"ALLLLLLL the pretty little ponies!"
"WALACE WEST, IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP, SO HELP ME I AM GOING TO COME IN THERE AND BEAT YOU TO A PULP!"
A very girly, blood-curling scream echoed through from Wally's room, but it turned into another high pitched cackle. "Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-he-he-he-he-he-heh-heh-heh *cough*, *cough*, *cough!*" he broke off with a coughing fit but soon went back to laughing.
Artemis growled to herself and buried her head under the pillow, blocking her ears and squinting her eyes shut.
"Hush-a-bye, don't you cry; go to sleepy little baby! When you wake, you shall have all the pretty ponies. Blacks and Bays, Dapples and Greys; all the pretty little ponies!"
"Grargh." Artemis forced herself to ignore him, and eventually fell asleep.
"All the pretty little ponies! All the pretty little ponies!" the same could not be said for the speedster. Another hour or two later and he eventually sang himself to sleep.
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Robin arrived at the cave after school to find Wally skipping around like a little girl and singing at the top of his lungs; "I know a song that gets on your nerves! Gets on your nerves, gets on your nerves! I know a song that gets on your nerves and this is how it goes! I know a song that gets on your nerves! Gets on your nerves . . ."
"SHUT UP!" Artemis hollered from the kitchen and Wally turned and headed in that direction, singing all the louder. Fortunately for Artemis and unluckily for Robin, Wally caught sight of the ninja and headed straight to his friend; "OH! I know a song that gets on your nerves and this is how it goes!"
"Wally, are you feeling OK?"
"That's all right! I'm OK! We can do it anyday! GOOOOOOOOOO Wally!"
"Wally, what's wrong?"
"It's a happy day! A happy day! OH what a wonderful, happy day!"
Robin quirked an eyebrow, "I've never heard that song before."
Wally grinned, "It's raining manna! HALLELUJAH! It's raining manna!"
"Wally . . ?"
"I went to a Chinese restaurant, to buy a loaf of bread-bread-bread! The lady at the counter, was standing on her head-head-head! She asked me what my name was, and this is what I said-said-said: . . ."
"Wally!"
"My name is ally-ally, chicken-tally ooey-gooey BOK-BOK-BOK! Chinese checkers I love them most I eat them with my toast-toast-toast!"
"That's not how it goes, Wally. Now what are you on!"
"I'm on top of the WORLD!"
"Oh man." Robin face-palmed, "Wally, what is wrong with you?"
"I'm so pretty! I'm so pretty! I'm so gorgeous and charming that's me!"
Artemis stormed into the room and looked at Robin furiously, "Shut . . . Him . . . UP!" she seethed.
Robin looked back at Wally, "Wally . . ."
"See that pretty girl in the mirror there . . ."
Robin looked at Artemis helplessly and shrugged, she turned and stormed out of the room. Robin looked over at Wally worriedly before heading to the lounge.
Wally beat him there. He found his friend skipping around Aqualad, singing; "There is a kingdom, UNDER THE SEA! Where there's lots of things for us to see! Fun stuff to do and places to be, adventures galore for you and me!" Aqualad looked over at Robin pleadingly, his worry evident. Wally kept singing, "There's good fish! And BAD fish! And . . ." he stopped and seemed to think for a moment, before; "And one fish, two fish! Red fish, blue fish! All the pretty little fishies! ALLLL the pretty little fishies!"
Robin sighed and shook his head. Aqualad placed a hand on Wally's shoulder, "Kid Flash, I believe you need to calm down . . ."
Wally looked up in shock, before bursting out with; "I'm the man! I'm the man! I'm the MAN! You can't tell me what to do! I know what's best for me, not you! I'm the MAAAAANNNNNNNN!"
Robin gave Aqualad a 'what-can-I-do?' look and exited the room.
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
He entered the training room and found Wally already there, Artemis appeared behind Robin and stared at the speedster as he sang to Superboy.
"Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday dear HAPPY! Happy Birthday to me!"
"Did he just call himself, 'Happy'?" Artemis whispered, Robin just stared.
Wally heard them and turned his singing in their direction; "This is the song that never ends; yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because: This is the song that never ends; yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever . . ."
Artemis turned tail and ran; Wally ignored Robin and zipped after her. "This is the song that never ends; yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because:"
Robin followed them. Artemis had hid in her room and locked the door; Wally stood in the hall singing at the top of his lungs; "There once was a man named Michael Finnegan! He had some whiskers on his chinnigan! The wind blew them off and they grew in again! Poor old Michael Finnegan, Begin again!"
Furious screeches echoed from Artemis's room and Wally laughed maniacally and managed to sing even louder. "There once was a man named Michael Finnegan! He had some whiskers on his chinnigan! The wind blew them off and they grew in again! Poor old Michael Finnegan, Begin again!"
After he'd repeated that several times he returned to: "I know a song that gets on your nerves! Gets on your nerves, gets on your nerves! I know a song that gets on your nerves and this is how it goes!"
Robin dashed down the hall; the movement caught Wally's attention and he zipped after the ninja. "I know a song that gets on your nerves! Gets on your nerves, gets on your nerves! I know a song that gets on your nerves and this is how it goes!"
Robin arrived at the lounge and Wally appeared in front of him, throwing up his arms and singing "Merry Christmas to you! Merry Christmas to you! Merry Christmas and Halloween! Merry Christmas to you!"
Robin punched his friend in the gut and Wally doubled over. When the speedster looked up, Robin was gone.
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
"I like aeroplane jelly! Aeroplane jelly for me!" Wally sang, skipping into the kitchen, "I like it for dinner I like it for tea, a little each day is a good recipe!"
M'gann looked up from her cookbook, "Hi Wally! Do you want some Raspberry Mousse?"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He screeched and dashed out of the room, "NO! NOT YOUR COOKING! SPARE ME! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
"Heyheyhey!" Wally called, zipping into the lounge, "Didyouknowthattogetthecircum ferenceof-acircleyouneedtomultiplythed iameterbypi? Andthediameteristheradiustim estwo!" Wally exclaimed super-fast to Superboy. "Anddidyouknowthat . . ."
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Robin walked into the lounge to find Wally jabbering to Superboy, telling him all his scientific knowledge at a mile a minute. "Anddidyouknowthat . . ."
Robin rolled his eyes and walked away. Wally appeared in front of him, "Anddidyouknowthat-"
"Yes, Wally I know everything!" Robin interrupted with another eye-roll. "Did you know that you're insane?"
"I'm not insane?!" Wally exclaimed, then giggled like a little girl, "I know something you don't know! Doo-dah! Doo-dah! I know something you don't know, oh doo-dah-day!"
Robin face-palmed.
"Didyouknow . . ."
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
"If you're happy and you know it clap your hands. If you're happy and you know it clap your hands! If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it, if you're happy and you know it clap your hands!" Wally sang, skipping around and clapping his hands; whenever he saw anyone he zipped over and – while still clapping his hands – would tell them all about his day at school, what he learned, and what he didn't learn but already knew.
Artemis walked into the lounge and froze when she saw Wally; he had his back to her and didn't notice her. She slowly backed out of the room. Wally spun around and zipped over to her, clapping madly. "ArtyArty!DidyouknowthatIhaveagoodfrie ndcalledDickGrayson?He'saverygoodfriend!He'sreallysmartandtopofhisclass es!IknowasecretaboutDick,buthesaidIcan'ttellanyone!SoI'mnotgoingtotellyourightnow!" he laughed and zipped away, still clapping madly.
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Robin stepped out of his room, and Wally was suddenly in front of him; "Iknowyoursecret! ButI'mnotgoingtotellanyonebecause youdon'twantmeto!"
"Thanks, Wally . . . I think-" Robin began.
Wally began laughing maniacally, and zipped away.
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Robin watched Wally from a distance; the rest of the team was giving Wally wide berth and stared at the speedster worriedly whenever he confronted them.
The good news, Robin noted, was that Wally had stopped singing, clapping and trying to drive everyone nuts. The bad news was that he was now just zipping around every which way and laughing like a lunatic nonstop.
Robin sat on his bed, switched on his earpiece radio and waited for Batman to answer. "Uh, Batman, I think there's something wrong with Kid Flash.
"Really? Why?" Batman replied, "What's so bad about a few jokes?"
"You know about that, huh? Well he's gotten worse . . ."
"What? Is he telling dirty jokes now or just really lame ones?"
"Ha. Ha." Robin replied dryly, Batman does have a sense of humour! "No, it's worse than that."
"Well . . ?"
Robin sighed, "He's completely lost it! I would think he was high on something if he were anyone else, but this is Kid Flash! His metabolism burns too fast for him to be affected by drugs or sugar; especially for this long!"
"Well, what's going on? How long has he been like this?"
Robin looked towards the door in concern, Wally's high-pitched laughter echoed down the hall from the training room. "He's been zipping around like a chipmunk on coffee for the last few hours, but I first noticed he was beginning to act really weird last night, when he told me I should keep telling you jokes and see what you'd do if I drove you crazy."
"Well that sounds dangerous." Batman thought aloud.
Robin laughed dryly and humourlessly again, "He's been getting worse all day, I don't know how he managed to get through school . . ."
There was a crazy, high-pitched evil laugh and Wally zoomed into the room and slammed straight into the wall; he fell back, laughing like a maniac, with an insane grin on his face.
"What was that?" Batman demanded
"Wally." Robin whispered. "He's been laughing like a crazy clown and running into walls for the pure joy of it."
"What do you deduce?" Batman asked; there was a sound that he was gathering things together.
Robin walked over to Wally, who was lying on his back, staring unseeingly up at the ceiling and giggling; on his face was plastered a retarded grin. Robin waved his hand in front of his friend's face; nothing, Wally didn't even blink; he just kept on giggling. Robin snapped his fingers in front of Wally's eyes; still nothing. Robin tapped his friend on the forehead. "He's not responding; either that or he's doing a great job at ignoring me." He pinched Wally and the speedster giggled harder, "He seems to take joy in getting hurt, or feeling pain."
"That can't be good. Vital signs?"
"His face is almost a red as his hair, but his breathing is normal – enough. He won't stop giggling! His pulse . . ." Robin placed two fingers on Wally's neck, "Oh man. His pulse is really fast; and I mean really fast!"
"I'm on my way." Batman said, and turned off his radio.
Robin looked down at Wally and his friend suddenly sat up, "BOO! Hahahahahaha! DidIscareyou?DidIscareyou?DidIdidIdidI?Huhhuhhuh?" before Robin could blink Wally pressed his face close to Robin's and stared into the ninja's eyes, "Oh! Youdo wantmetotellpeopleyoursecret ! Youwantthemtoknowwhoyouare! Byebye!I'mgonnagotelltheotherswhatyou 'reafraidto!
Youknowyouwantthemtoknow!" He was out of the room and down the hall before Robin registered what he'd said.
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Artemis heard Wally's laughter coming towards her and she quickly slipped off the sofa and headed in the opposite direction. Wally appeared at the end of the hall ahead of her, slipped on the linoleum, skidded down the hall and landed on his bottom in front of Artemis. "OHHIARTYMISIHAVESOMETHINGIHA VETOTELLYOU!"
He said it all as one syllable and Artemis didn't understand anything but what she thought was her name. She stared at the speedster, unsure of what to do, and he started babbling on and on about something. She couldn't understand a word.
". . . AnyouknowmygoodfriendDickGra yson?" He asked, still superfast.
Artemis frowned, "Huh? What about Dick Grayson?"
"DickGraysonismyverybestfrien d! Hehasasecrethewantstotellyou butisscaredto!"
"How does this Dick Grayson know me?" Artemis wondered aloud, still not interpreting what the speedster had said.
"Yougotoschooltogether!"
"Sorry, one more time? I didn't catch a word of that." Artemis said with slight exasperation, "It sounded like 'Yoogoodookoodoogedder' . . . or something like that."
But Wally didn't repeat himself, "Heandyouhe, uh . . . ummmm, ohyeah! Hehasasecret! He'sreallyRobin!"
"Wally, I still can't understand a word you're saying. Talk slower!"
"He's, uh, DickGraysonis-"
"Slow-er . . ." Artemis drew out in emphasis.
"Dick Grayson is, is, is . . . Dick Grayson is . . ." He seemed to have forgotten what he was going to say, and thought for a moment.
Robin dashed into the room, his feet slipping on the linoleum. "Who waxed this stuff?" he muttered as he stopped short to regain his balance.
"He is . . . Dick Grayson is . . ." Wally was still deep in thought, and he saw Robin and exclaimed; "ROBIN!"
"Oh, hi Robin." Artemis looked at the ninja then back down at Wally, "I think there's something wrong with him . . ."
"Yeah, I figured that yesterday. He's been getting worse if you haven't noticed." Robin tried to keep from snapping at the archer but didn't quite succeed; his worry was growing with every second. "Uh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap at you . . ." he began,
Artemis looked like she was about to say something smart, but Wally beat her to it; "Robin, my nose is itchy." Ok, not really. He suddenly brightened, "OH! Robin, IwasgoingtotellArtymissyour-secretbutIforgotyoursecretwh atwasitagain?"
Robin appeared to think for a moment, before taking a deep breath and in his most intelligent voice replying; "Huh?"
"Wazzyersecret!" Wally exclaimed.
"Say again? I didn't catch that." Robin requested as he pulled something out of his utility belt.
"Ican'trememberyersecret! YouwantedmetotellArtymiss!"
"Keep him distracted." Robin whispered to Artemis.
"How?!" She whispered back
"Talk to him, tell him jokes or something." He held up the small vial of sleeping powder, "I'm gonna make him some cookies." He dashed into the kitchen.
"Artymiss . . ." Wally began,
"Hey Wally, why'd the chicken cross the road?"
"Ooh! I know! Don'ttellme! Iknowthis! Uhhhhhh, ummmmm, dunno; Why?"
"Um, to get to the other side . . ." Artemis said, slightly unsure of herself, but Wally bust out laughing and rolled around on the floor. "OK, umm . . . What did the dinosaur eat after he went to the dentist?"
"What?" Wally asked through his giggles.
"The dentist." Artemis replied.
Another fit of hysterical laughter.
"OK, uhh . . . A chicken and a duck were sitting beside the road–" Wally burst out laughing again, Artemis glared at him, "That wasn't the punch-line, Wally."
He screamed and put his hands up in front of his face. "NO! DON'T HIT ME!"
Artemis sighed and rolled her eyes, "I'm not going to hit you." She said slowly, "That just wasn't the funny part of the joke."
"Why'd you say it then?!" Wally demanded accusingly.
Artemis rolled her eyes again, "A chicken and a duck were sitting beside the road–" Wally burst out laughing again. "That wasn't the funny part!" Artemis exclaimed. Wally snapped his mouth shut. "OK, and the chicken turned to the duck and said; 'Whatever you do; DON'T CROSS! You'll never hear the end of it!'!"
Wally burst out laughing again.
Robin reappeared with a plate of cookies, slipping slightly on the waxed floor. "Hey, Wally I got you some cookies." He announced.
"COOKIES!" Wally exclaimed happily, and shovelled them into his mouth. Robin watched closely, as Wally swallowed them, and his eyelids began to droop. "Ohh, oh! I just remembered!" he exclaimed, "Dick Grayson! He's, he's. . ." Wally's eyes drooped again and his voice grew quieter, "He's, he's Rrr . . . he's Rrr . . . Rrrrrrrzzzzzzzzzzz . . ." Wally's eyes closed and his head fell back. Robin knelt down beside him and Batman and Co. chose that moment to appear.
Recognised: Batman: 0-2, Flash: 0-4, Green Arrow: 0-8, Doctor James: A-4-2 Doctor Brian A-3-6. The three heroes and the doctors arrived and Robin called them into the lounge. They rushed in but came to an abrupt stop when they saw the unconscious Wally, Green Arrow and the doctors slipped on the linoleum but managed to regain their balance quickly.
"OH NO!" Flash exclaimed and zipped over, he skidded straight past the three young heroes and had to walk back; his feet trying to slip out from underneath him with every step.
"What happened?" Batman demanded.
"We knocked him out." Artemis replied.
"ARTEMIS!" Green Arrow exclaimed angrily, stepping forward and ending up on his back.
"Not like that!" Robin exclaimed, and held up the sleeping powder, "He was getting worse, and trying to tell everyone people's secrets."
"Really?" Flash quirked an eyebrow, only no-one saw because of his suit.
"Yes." Robin replied, "He told M'gann your identity, only I don't think she understood it the way he worded it . . . he also was jabbering about all the secrets he knew to Superboy and then he was trying to tell Artemis and I 'Dick Grayson's secret'."
Batman's eyes narrowed.
"Yeah, well what was so bad about before?" Flash demanded. "He couldn't have been that bad."
"He was mostly just annoying me . . ." Artemis began,
"He sang three different love songs to Superboy and proposed to Kaldur." Robin cut in. The grown ups' eyes widened, "He insulted M'gann, he threatened to tell people my secret, he's refused to eat anything all day, he's been running into walls and stuff just 'cause he can, he's been hurting himself on purpose and he repeatedly forgot what he was going to say."
"Well that sounded like a mouthful." Batman put in as he knelt down beside the speedster. Robin glared at his mentor.
Doctor James knelt down beside the hero and pulled a stethoscope out of his bag. After a minute, he announced; "OK, we need to move him to the infirmary." Flash picked up his nephew and carried him bridle-style to the infirmary, slipping every few steps. Batman, Robin, Doctor Brian and Doctor James followed. Artemis went to follow but Green Arrow put a hand on her shoulder, causing her to almost lose her balance and fall; "Actually, Artemis, I came here to take you to Star City. There's been a lot of crime recently, and though Red Arrow hates to admit it; he can't handle it all on his own."
They headed to the zeta-tubes. Artemis slipped a few times, but quickly regained her balance. Green Arrow slipped, caught himself, stepped forward and found himself staring up at the ceiling. Artemis rolled her eyes and headed off on her own; knowing he'd catch up.
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
In the infirmary the heroes watched silently as the Doctor Brian took a sample of Kid Flash's blood and left to another room to run a few tests. Doctor James checked the speedster's heartbeat, and compared it to Flash's; before shining a flashlight in Wally's eyes, ears and mouth. "Well, his heartbeat is very fast, and his eyes aren't responding properly to the light. I'm just waiting for Doctor Brian to finish his tests . . ."
"Got it here!" Doctor Brian called from the next room. The doctor dashed into that room, closely followed by Flash and Batman. Robin stayed beside Wally.
Robin ignored the loud voices in the next room, until his name was called. He stood up and walked quickly into the room. Batman led him straight to Doctor Brian's computer screen, "Look familiar?"
Robin looked at the image on the screen; a scan of Wally's blood. There was something there, something that wasn't supposed to be there. A foreigner to the blood; evidently a cause of concern, most likely the cause of 'illness'. Robin frowned, "It, it looks like the one we had before; the spore that made us sick a few weeks ago . . ."
Doctor Brian tapped a few keys on his laptop and the picture disappeared and was replaced by a black screen quickly filling with green writing. "It appears to be a mutant plant spore of some kind. Some kind of . . . mutant plant spore." He finished lamely. "Frankly, I've never seen anything like this before."
"That's what the doctors said last time." Flash growled, "Can you tell us what the plant spore looks like it could do? Is it what is making him sick? Where did he get it from? How does it work? Is there a cure? Can you make a cure? . . ."
"I don't know . . ." Doctor Brian said. He hit a few more keys; and read a few pages before tapping a few more keys and reading some more. Robin watched his face intently. The doctor seemed to find something interesting, and leaned forward; frowning. "Hmmm . . ." He hit a few more keys. "James, could you test his blood sugar level for me?"
Doctor James left the room.
Doctor Brian looked very intently at the computer. "Hmmm . . ." he hit a few more buttons and swivelled around on his chair and pulled some papers out of a file in his bag. He shuffled through the papers, looked at the screen, looked back to the papers and back to the screen again before turning to Batman and Flash. "What has he eaten today?" he asked, "And when was the last time he was exposed to burning wood?"
Flash looked confused, "We recued people from an office-building fire a few days ago, he was stuck inside the building for a few minutes . . . as for the food; well, Robin said he's been refusing to eat all day . . ." He looked at Robin expectantly.
"Yesterday his appetite was normal – for him. Today, since I first saw him after school, he has refused to eat anything – except for the cookies I gave him, the ones with the knock-out powder."
"Since when did you have knock-out powder?!" Flash exclaimed.
Robin shrugged. Batman smiled to himself.
Doctor James returned, "His blood sugar level is just above normal, but dropping."
Robin frowned, "But the cookies . . . and he hasn't eaten all day and he's not moving . . . how . . ?"
Doctor James was about to answer when Doctor Brian swivelled around on his chair, "I think I know what's wrong with him." He announced.
Author's Note: I made up the doctors and their designations; don't hate me for it. I also made up the ending of the 'Chinese restaurant' song and a bunch of the others . . . basically, if you don't know the song and you can't find it I most-likely made it up. I don't own the songs anyway, even if I made them up; it was purely for my enjoyment and yours.
I hope you enjoyed my now-longest chapter! Woohoo!
PLEEEEEASE REVIEW!