Lacuna
"Engineering team twelve, please report to docking bay D24." Javik lifted his eyes from the echo shard in his hands, giving the Normandy a sidelong glance. The dock was bustling with activity as technicians entered and departed from the human ship. Most seemed to ignore his presence, but there were a few who paused briefly to watch him. He stood alone, leaning forward on a railing overlooking the empty traffic lanes below.
It was disconcerting to Javik to not be aboard the human ship. It was strangely ironic to him that the Normandy was the closest thing he had to a home since being awakened from stasis. Once before he had briefly ventured into the Citadel, to see how the races of this cycle behaved among themselves. To his astonishment, the various species who called the station home appeared to live with one another in relative tranquility. He never had the opportunity to experience the Citadel in his cycle since it had been lost to the Reapers before his birth. Just what was this station like during my people's rule?
"Careful with that equipment Lennox," a voice shouted following a loud crash. "Those devices have been calibrated precisely. I don't want to have to spend another hour re-calibrating them again." Javik let out a deep sigh. The crew of the Normandy had been ordered to return to the Citadel after their most recent mission. The ship was to undergo extensive repairs while the humans gathered their forces for the final assault against the faction known as Cerberus.
Shepard and the others were appalled by what they found on the world of Sanctuary, but Javik was unperturbed. The horrors the races of this cycle were witnessing would seem like a child's fondest dreams compared to the abominations he had beheld in his time. The fact that this Cerberus group believed it could control the Reapers would have amused Javik had it not been so farcical. The Reapers could not be controlled, only destroyed.
He glanced down at the shard in his hands. The metallic object felt cold in his grip, the curved line that ran its length remained dim. Javik did not want the engineers to tamper with it while they were working on the Normandy, so he decided to take it with him. He turned it over his his hands, appreciating the aesthetic properties of the relic. He had never accessed the memories contained within before, respecting the wishes of the one who had bequeathed it to him to only use it when he felt the time was right. And now, Javik felt uncertain he would ever be ready to fulfill that promise.
Shepard had visited Javik briefly following the mission on Sanctuary. They spoke at length about what had been discovered there until Shepard broached the subject regarding the shard. Javik was hesitant at first to discuss it with him, but the human was a compelling individual. He described the function of the shard to Shepard, emphasizing the fact that the memories contained within stretched back to a time before the downfall of his people. It was in that moment that Javik felt that the moment had come for him to finally unlock the shard.
However, self-doubt and pain had eroded his resolve. He asked Shepard whether the anguish was worth the price of remembrance. The human's answer surprised him. The Commander dissuaded him, observing that re-opening wounds would be counterproductive. Javik agreed with him before mentioning the fact that he too had commanded soldiers in the field. Shepard did not seem surprised by the revelation, but offered a human expression about allowing old ghosts to rest. It was a strange turn of phrase, but a reassuring one as well.
Allowing those old ghosts to rest had worked. For a short time. Without any outlet to occupy his body or mind, the compulsion to use the shard had returned. Try as he might, he could not ignore the powerful force the device exerted over him. It had become both a blessing and a curse for him. His sole possession, the living recollections of his people stored in an object no larger than his hand. But it served as an anchor as well, tethering him firmly to the remains of a long dead civilization.
Javik faced a pivotal choice as he stood over the railing of the docking bay. He could continue to keep the shard in his possession, for whatever good it did him. It would remain dormant on its stand, taunting his lack of inner strength to access what was locked within. Or, he could contemplate the unthinkable. He gazed down at the open expanse below the dock. Force fields surrounded the area, creating a bubble of normal pressure and atmosphere. Beyond a certain point, however, was zero gravity. It would be an easy thing for Javik to simply let the shard to slip from his fingers. Allow it to drift aimlessly into the vacuum, as if it were just another fragment of detritus. "Ancestors, give me strength." he whispered quietly.
A sudden jostle startled Javik, and he tightened his grip on the shard instinctively. He turned around to see who had pushed him. An asari with violet skin cursed as a large canister she carried fell to the floor. She gaped at the Prothean as he gave her a flat stare. "I . . . I apologize Sir," she said, gulping. "I lost my balance while I was carrying this gear around. I'll be on my way." Javik watched the dockworker silently as she quickly gathered her load and departed. It was a common occurrence whenever he was seen outside the Normandy. The whispers and the stares that were directed towards him, as if he was a mythical creature of legend that had suddenly sprung to life. He closed his eyes, feeling truly alone in the universe.
His eyes opened with a sudden realization. What if there was a way to remember his people, but without using the echo shard? The asari who disturbed him reminded him of another. However, he was uncertain she would be as amenable to the idea as she once was. They had very nearly clashed with each other following the events on her homeworld. Fortunately for them both, Shepard had defused the situation. But Javik could sense her anger had endured. It was an unpalatable truth about her race that she had to swallow, but there was no sense in concealing the truth forever. Still, would her acrimony prevent her from an opportunity to fulfill a lifelong desire?
Javik activated his omni-tool and opened an channel. "Are you there Asa . . .," he began, but caught himself before he could cause offense. "Liara T'soni?" For a brief moment he had thought she had ignored him, but her voice intoned neutrally before long. "Yes Javik, I'm here." He proceeded delicately, not wishing to aggravate her. "Are you occupied at the moment?" Another awkward pause followed before she answered. "Not at the moment, no. Is there something I can do for you?"
Javik considered his words carefully. "I understand from several of the crewmembers that you have expressed a desire to write a book about Prothean civilization." He glanced at the echo shard before continuing on. "I believe I may offer some valuable knowledge for such an undertaking. If you are willing, I can assist you in your endeavour."
Javik began to wonder if the asari had thought he was jesting with her when she didn't answer him immediately. "Why . . . yes. Yes of course Javik!" she replied eagerly after a moment. "It would be an incredible privilege to formally record your insights on the Prothean people. When would you like to begin?" Javik scanned his surroundings, anxious to leave his inner turmoil behind him. "I can begin immediately if you wish."
"Fantastic," she replied. "Shepard has allowed me to use his apartment on the Silversun Strip for the duration of our shore leave. I'll send you the navpoint now." Javik looked over the coordinates she sent to his omni-tool. Since both she and the human were bonded, it was only natural that she would be allowed the use of his personal suite. "Very well. I will be there shortly."
The asari interrupted him before he could close his link. "Javik, I know there has been some friction between us after what happened on Thessia. I'd like you to know that I appreciate your assistance in this project. Hopefully, this will mark the beginning of a fresh start for us both. Truly, thank you for this."
"You are . . . welcome, Liara T'soni. Javik out." He stood for several moments before placing the shard into a compartment on his armour, renouncing his earlier thoughts of discarding it. Javik allowed a small smile to appear on his lips. Walking towards the exit, he felt a little less forlorn than he had moments ago.