UltimateHeroEric: Seriously dude, what is this stuff?
SakurAssassin: I'd rather not say...
UltimateHeroEric: It's not something nasty, is it?
SakurAssassin: Even if it was nasty, why would it matter? It's not like you're going to get germs through this game.
UltimateHeroEric: :P You're probably having a big laugh behind your screen. Ha ha, I made Eric pick up the metal bunny poop.
SakurAssassin: I didn't make you pick up anything. You're collecting them on your own.
Eric continued to collect the "mysterious" silvery metal objects from the ground.
UltimateHeroEric: C'mon, sassy pants! Just one clue!
SakurAssassin: Why don't you tell me what you think it is?
Eric took one of them out and inspected it closely.
UltimateHeroEric: Hmmm...is it candy?
I couldn't hold back my laughter. Of course Eric's mind would be on food.
SakurAssassin: No.
UltimateHeroEric: That was way too long of a break. You were laughing at me, weren't you? You were rolling on the floor laughing your sassy pants ass off. ROFLYSPAO. Rofly Spao. Ro Fly Spa O. I think you just made that a thing.
SakurAssassin: I was laughing because you were laughing.
UltimateHeroEric: -.- okay maybe. You caught me. But we're partners. It's not nice to keep things from me.
SakurAssassin: I keep lots of things from you.
UltimateHeroEric: NOT IMPORTANT GAME STUFF! ASFHYRJYETS
UltimateHeroEric: You know what? I'm going to eat it. Since you're not going to tell me a clue, I'll just eat it.
I turned on my heel to go back the way we came.
UltimateHeroEric: Where are you going?
SakurAssassin: Back to Berlin. Might as well get a head start if you're going to eat it.
UltimateHeroEric: But why would you need...oh. It would kill me, wouldn't it? I'd die, and we'd have to start all over again.
SakurAssassin: Yep. All these weeks would be for nothing.
UltimateHeroEric: Well, not entirely nothing. We'd just get to go on all those adventures again :D Wouldn't that be fun, sassy pants? :D Right?
SakurAssassin: I think you're forgetting that this is actually my job, Eric.
UltimateHeroEric: Oh, I know it's more than just a job to you. You just can't get enough of me :) You just want to spend more time with me. That's why you're not telling me what these things are. You're stalling, sassy pants.
SakurAssassin: Yeah, nice try. Still not going to tell you. You'll find out soon enough.
UltimateHeroEric: :( Spoil sport
SakurAssassin: But it wouldn't be as fun without the surprise
UltimateHeroEric: True. Plot twists are the best.
"Hey!" a loud voice called out suddenly.
UltimateHeroEric: Holy bejeezus!
A guy came out from behind a tree and matched angrily towards us.
UltimateHeroEric: Dude, is that Legolas?!
"You shouldn't be here. This is too dangerous for you," he said. He was a bit too rugged to look like Legolas. His long blond hair only added to his masculinity. The axe on his back helped, too.
UltimateHeroEric: Yeah, well I do what I want. Nothing's too dangerous for me. Safety is too mainstream.
SakurAssassin: And shiny things you find in the ground aren't?
"You need to leave. Now," he said in all seriousness. "I'm not going to tell you again."
SakurAssassin: Okay, but we're a bit lost. Could you point us to the way out?
Eric would probably have something to say about that. However, the mystery guy responded before Eric could.
"That way." He pointed to somewhere directly behind us.
SakurAssassin: Thank you. We'll just be on our way.
I started going off in that direction.
UltimateHeroEric: No. No way. Did we just go through all that for nothing? Did I just way my pack down with a bunch of useless pebbles?
SakurAssassin: Hey, you're the one who decided to ignore that guy's sign and go into the dark, creepy forest.
After a certain amount of time, I suddenly switched my direction again.
UltimateHeroEric: Wait, are we dancing now? You really need to keep me up on your sudden decision changes because I am an excellent dancer. I've got da moves :)
SakurAssassin: Just buying time. I needed the guy to go away, twinkle toes. Obviously, we would need to go in the opposite direction of where he was pointing.
UltimateHeroEric: Oh, look who's being the rebel now? I like it :)
I started running through the foliage. The crunch was beginning to sound a little off. We were getting close.
But then, Eric ran off in another direction. I figured this would happen.
SakurAssassin: I know this is going to be hard, but I'm going to need you to focus.
UltimateHeroEric: Come with me
UltimateHeroEric: And we'll be
UltimateHeroEric: In a woooooorld of pure imagination!
SakurAssassin: This is a game after all...it is a world of imagination.
Specifically, my imagination.
UltimateHeroEric: Look at all this candy! If only I could taste it!
Eric was frolicking through the candied forest. Trees and rocks were replaced by candy canes and giant gumdrops. The sun setting over the trees sent a myriad of colors reflecting off if the glass-like candy.
UltimateHeroEric: Sassy pants! You didn't lie to me, did you? Are these silver things the most delicious, mysterious candy cruelly and tragically trapped in virtual form?
SakurAssassin: I didn't lie. You can think of them as death candy, if you wish. Tastes like death. Bitter for some. Sweet relief for others.
UltimateHeroEric: Well that got a bit deeper than I intended :/
SakurAssassin: I break out in philosophy sometimes. C'mon, let's go. Just wait until you see this.
I led Eric further into the black licorice forest. There was a cabin in the middle of a candy clearing.
UltimateHeroEric: This is paradise! Candy. Burgers. Pizza. I would totally live here. Until I ate it all.
"Hey, no eating my house!" A woman had come out the door, a bowl cradled in her arm and supported by her hip. She had long, curly, chestnut brown hair that went down to the middle of her back. She slathered the spaghetti from the bowl and unto the wall.
She smiled at Eric and set the bowl down. She swung her hips as she it closer. She stood just a few inches in front if Eric and looked him up and down.
"Though, I wouldn't mind you living here, big boy. Oooh, I could eat you right up!"
She picked up the bowl and stood in the doorway again."Well, come on in! Let this old woman reminisce."
Eric followed her. I followed him fully into the house built from various foods. She says down at the table and indicated for us to follow.
UltimateHeroEric: I may be confused a lot, but I'm pretty sure that you're not old. You look pretty young to me.
She gave him a beautiful, sexy smile. "Oh stop it! Back in the day, I would have taken you before breakfast. You're a bit young for me to pursue now. But if you start..." she insinuated.
UltimateHeroEric: Huh?
Eric was obviously not catching her drift. I kind of felt happy about that.
She shook her head. "Things sure were different back then. The men would just come flocking to me. I was the center of the world. The parties in the moonlight. The singing. The blood red wine. The feasts. Nothing like the stuff they serve nowadays." She indicated to her house with the flick of her wrist.
UltimateHeroEric: Really? This stuff looks pretty awesome to me.
"Hmm. It must be our age difference that draws our different tastes. Food back then was served raw. Natural."
UltimateHeroEric: So...like sushi? That's cool I guess. Sassy pants likes sushi, too.
She threw her head back and laughed. "Oh you silly boy. You've really got me now. You're too irresistible to wait. Which will it be first? Sex or a fight?"
There was no response from Eric. Everything was just now clicking in his head. She wasn't exactly what she seemed.
"Guys didn't always flock to me for sex, though that was a very important aspect. I was also a pretty damn good fighter. This old woman still has a few moves up her sleeves."
Still nothing from the Eric department.
"Hmm, can't decide? I guess we could do both. Just a fair warning, I am known for biting." She ran her tongue along her teeth seductively. Her teeth clacked together as she nipped at the air.
This was going far enough. I drew my katana from its sheath and swung it down at her. She stopped my swing with the palm of her hand. Barely any HP was lost. A small line of blood formed on her hand.
"Impatient, are we? Don't worry. As soon as I'm done with him, it'll be your turn. I'm not too picky."
There was a loud crack as the large candy door was broken open. Little bits of candy crumbled at our feet.
"I thought I told you to get out if here!" the guy from before said. He broke into the room with his weapon drawn.
"Wolfie!" the woman exclaimed excitedly. "You came!"
She ran toward him with her arms wide open. She looked ready to jump on him, but Wolfie kept her at arms distance.
"Get off of me, Red," Wolfie said as he shoved her away.
"Wolfie, you're so mean to me!" she whined.
"You're clingy and annoying," he said in an irritated voice.
"So cruel! You know I'm always like this during my time of the month."
UltimateHeroEric: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I think I've had about enough now. Let's get out of here, sassy pants.
"Oh, you're not going anywhere," Red said. Her attention was drawn back to us. "It's far too late now."
"You should have left while you still had the chance," Wolfie said. He took a stance with his axe. He was aimed at Red. "You have no choice now. You're going to have to fight.
UltimateHeroEric: Okay...fighting is good, I guess? It'd be great if I knew whose ass I had to kick...
Red stepped back from Wolfie. Her arms were still held apart. She stood by the window. The sun had set far behind the trees, and the moonlight was peaking out towards the east. The full moon.
Once the nightly light hit her skin, Red began to change. Her body began consumed with red-brown fur. Her body morphed and tripled in size. Her features became more lupine in character.
"Brace yourselves. This could get ugly," Wolfie said.
After all, Red was a werewolf. Both Wolfie and I had our weapons out. It looked like Eric still hadn't done anything. Red howled loudly. The whole junk food house reverberated.
SakurAssassin: Eric, I think that's your cue to draw your weapon.
UltimateHeroEric: I can't decide which gun to use!
Red swung one of her giant furry arms at us. We all ducked out of the way. Wolfie ran at her first but was quickly knocked to the side. I got at her next and slashed at her face. A red angry line appeared and disappeared into her fur. She focused on me and growled. She started to prowl in my direction.
SakurAssassin: Choose one already!
UltimateHeroEric: Wolfslayr it is then.
He aimed at her eyes and fired a few shots. Red howled in pain and divided her attention between Eric and me.
SakurAssassin: You've got to load it with the silver bullets.
UltimateHeroEric: The what?!
SakurAssassin: The shiny death candy you found on the ground
Eric quickly went through his pack and reloaded his gun with the silver bullets. He wasn't going fast enough. Red was going to attack him before he could defend himself.
I rushed in front of him, holding my sword defensively. Red clawed me and I fell to the ground. About half of my HP was gone.
When I saw Eric, I decided to stay down. He had two guns in his hands. Each was filled with the silver bullets. He fired round after round until both were empty. Red writhed in pain as the poisonous silver rushed through her veins.
He didn't stop to reload. Apparently, he had filled all of guns with silver bullets. He traded out gun after gun, emptying each one into Red. There wasn't much of her left. Just bloody red fur. He only slowed up as she started to pixel away.
UltimateHeroEric: Sassy pants! Are you okay?!
SakurAssassin: Yeah I'm fine.
I took his hand to stand myself back up. I went through my pack and restored my HP with a couple of potions.
UltimateHeroEric: Don't do that again. I had it all under control.
SakurAssassin: So did I. You didn't need to freak out. I had my sword to protect me.
UltimateHeroEric: Yeah, and my guns!
"And my axe."
We both looked towards Wolfie. That was sort of random. I almost forgot he was here.
UltimateHeroEric: Dude...you hardly did anything...
"If you listened to me earlier, I wouldn't have had to do anything for you players. Next time, stay out of my business."
Awkward silence.
"Get out of here already!" he shouted. "Preferably BEFORE I have to split you in half!"
We bolted out of there. Not that he was really a threat. He's just the kind of person that you do as your told when he yells at you like that.
UltimateHeroEric: I swear, he's like a Legolas Gimli mutant love child.
SakurAssassin: Look, are we good or do we need to talk some more?
UltimateHeroEric: It's not like we were ever not good. It's just...I'd rather you not put yourself in danger like that for me.
SakurAssassin: I've accepted the fact that you want to protect me. You shouldn't be surprised that I want to return the favor.
UltimateHeroEric: I think our reasoning is a bit different...
SakurAssassin: No. It's not. We are both very good players. We can both hold our own, but we're partners. We are here for each other whether we need it or not.
We just stood like that for a moment. Neither of us said anything. We didn't need to. We had come to this understanding a while ago. We would always stick it out together. We'd do anything for each other.
UltimateHeroEric:...handshake?
I smiled from behind my screen and took his hand.