On the Run

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So Emily and I had our own apartment. I had enough money to cover everything even though she still fought tooth and nail when I tried to share. I started to train and get back into fighting shape. At Emily's insistence, I even started doing yoga which I'd previously thought was a waste of time. Tai chi - yes, yoga no. But holy fuck, that girl could bend herself into some weird positions. I mean, I was flexible, but… damn. Each of us had very different reasons to want that level of balance and mobility but we tried not to talk about it too much. It was… awkward. But we did laugh a lot at each other when a position went wrong. We'd either topple over or have our yoga pants try to go places that pants never should go.

I needed to build up my stamina though so I started jogging. I decided do it at night to combine exercise and profit. I was even attacked by fuckwads with money every couple of days so I didn't have to dig too far into my savings. I really enjoyed that because it added a little spice to the workout. Emily thought I was insane. I offered to have her go with me on numerous occasions, she never accepted. Sometimes I didn't understand that girl.

At first I thought I was building a new kind of life but I eventually realized it wasn't that different than high school had been. I wasn't going anywhere; I was just coasting along. It was a bit better because I actually got to kick the shit out of people from time to time. That had been missing when Marcus had still been in the picture. But I didn't have a goal or a mission. There was nothing to bring any meaning to what I was doing. Emily was a lot of fun but she didn't understand who I was any more than Marcus had. She was a friend. Just a friend. Not a best friend. Not a soul mate.

Holy fuck I missed Dave.

Money continued to be an issue between Emily and me. She wanted to support herself and it had started to get really nasty when finally she found a job. Jordan, the building manager/owner/prostitute redeemer decided that he needed someone to work afternoons answering the phone, typing letters, and that kind of shit. He offered it to Emily and she jumped at it. Soon we really weren't seeing that much of one another. She had work during the day when I mostly slept and she was out like a light long before I got back from my midnight jogs. We still managed to exercise together but that was about it.

In hindsight, I probably should have realized the importance of the changes that went on over the next week. In my defense, I have to admit that I was thinking more and more about how much I missed being with Dave and letting everything else pass me by. I didn't have the slightest clue what was really going on in my world. It started simple. One afternoon, I woke up to find that Emily had completely re-arranged the living room. The TV faced a different wall and oddly, she'd put a lot more lights in there. The next day, there was also a water leak in the bathroom that eventually Jordan had to come up and fix. I'd think that I had it all taken care of and then I'd go back in there to pee and find a puddle on the floor again. It took Jordan all afternoon to get it taken care of and even though I tried to beg off, Emily was insistent that she and I go out while he worked. He'd given her the day off and she said she wanted to pay me back for all the times I'd treated her. I tried to argue that a person should get to pick their own reward and that I wanted to sleep, but she grabbed my arm and pulled me out the door. Sure I could have stopped her, but not without making a scene. So, we went window shopping, then got dinner. I put my foot down when she tried to add a movie to the evening. I told her it wasn't a fucking date and that I wanted to get home. She grumpily accepted and spent all of the ride home texting. That's pretty challenging while riding on the back of a motorcycle. I tried to ask her who she was texting and she just ignored me.

Then the actual weird shit started. She got mad if I hung a towel on the wrong hook in the bathroom when I took a shower and I wasn't allowed to get the bathroom too steamy. "It'll cause mildew" was all she'd say. But, I'd watched enough sitcoms to know that as roommates, you kind of have to accept each others strange shit. It got worse. I got a great Jet Li poster in a really classy frame and hung it up one night. She flipped out. "You can't hang it there!" she wailed for over an hour until I finally gave in and moved it to another wall. When she calmed down, she said tried to claim that it was some sort of Feng shui bullcrap. I didn't buy it so I did a little research. And where she wanted to put it wasn't 'Feng shui' at all. It would block all the chi energy in the room or some horseshit. So, I called her on it and she went ballistic. She turned it around on me claiming that I thought I was so superior to her. "When the fuck did you become a Feng shui expert, huh?" she screamed. "From one fucking website?" I decided to give in to keep the peace but really, it was a weird thing for her to get that obsessed over.

It was getting warmer in the building as we moved toward summer. So, I got to discover another cute quirk about my roommate. Emily absolutely hated running the AC. She'd always say it was just us girls so we might as well save some money and just wear less clothes. Which was a weird ass reason not to run it. And 'ass' is really the right word because, thanks to her 'no air conditioning, clothing optional policy', I saw a lot of hers. I mean, she was doing yoga in not much more than a thong. And since it was so fucking hot, I eventually broke down followed along. It did minimize the laundry. Then one afternoon she went a little too far. She decided that she was too hot to wear the thong and just skinned it down. I stared at her, then did my best to stop staring at her. I might have finally drawn a line in the sand (or should it be a 'crack?) but she was far more confidant with her body than I was. It made me jealous. Eventually peer pressure and a really sweaty pair of yoga pants that were starting to chafe in some not so comfortable places wore me down. I gave in to clothing being bit more optional myself. Not as far as her but I tried to feel confident in the same way that she did. I mean, you're probably about ready to whack it off under the table at all this craziness but it really was just us girls and who really cared?

Plus, and I know this is kind of fucked up, but I got kind of excited at the idea of Dave somehow tracking me down and bursting through the door to find me doing nude yoga. I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to happen after he came in the door. I did know that I wanted to see the look on his face and then…. Well, my mind typically went kind of fuzzy at that point. Maybe that fantasy might have been why I didn't put all of these weird pieces together. That or I really was just that much of an innocent fucking idiot.

Have any of you put this shit together yet? Really? I mean, did I not see it because I was stupid or does it just help to be a perv?

The first 'crack' in the carefully orchestrated plan was literally in the wall. I noticed there were several cracks in the walls of our exercise slash living room. So, I one afternoon I decided to patch them. Emily completely flipped out. I'd thought that she would be thrilled. But instead, she totally lost her shit. Kept going on about how angry Jordan was going to be that I'd changed how quaint and rustic the apartment was. I didn't see how he'd have that much to complain about. I'd matched the wall color pretty well and even offered to paint the place if he wanted. No dice. Emily marched me downstairs and made me apologize to Jordan right on the spot. He tried to look calm on the exterior, but he was obviously seething underneath. And I got this strange kind of 'pervey' vibe off of him. Suddenly I was happen he hadn't stared at my boobs. After he went on and on for about half an hour, I offered chip the shit back out if that would make everyone fucking happy. He kind of froze at that, calmed down, and said to leave it alone. He'd restore the 'rustic charm' himself. And he made me promise not to make any more changes to the place without his express permission. After a bit of consideration, I decided that this was not the time to tell him about the secret door I'd built into the back of the hall closet to hide my gear.

The next 'crack' was in the toilet. Like literally a crack in the base of the toilet. I mean, I've broken a few of them by throwing guys into them but it was always the top that shattered. The bottom would still be solidly attached to the floor. I couldn't imagine how this could even happen without, say, taking a hammer to the thing. Emily just picked up the phone and a few minutes later, in came Jordan to take care of the repairs. Emily dragged me out of the place while he worked again. This time I controlled where we went and I decided we were going to go to the laundromat. The weird vibes were getting stronger and I had this weird image of Jordan smelling my underwear or something. I took all of it with me to wash, even the clean stuff. And when we got back, not only was the leak was fixed but the 'artful' wall cracks were back. Emily went on and on about how they made the place look rustic. Look, I kind of get the idea behind looking 'rustic' but there's a fine line between that and just looking like shit. I just didn't get it but what the fuck did I know about decorating? Tired, I just agreed with her to shut her up. But inside, I knew that this living situation wasn't going to last much longer.

I decided to go for another late night run. Hopefully I could clear my head and then, calmly, sit down with Emily to discuss the future. Maybe if we started over somewhere else or if we got separate places we could still be friends. And if we couldn't, well, at least I could finally try to sleep without feeling like I was trapped in a sauna. I got lucky and pounding a couple of drug dealers into the concrete helped me to calm down. I felt like I could go back to the apartment and talk about this rationally. In fact, I felt so good about it that I cut short my run and headed back early. It was time to discuss the situation head on.

When I got home, I slipped in quietly more because it was a habit then because I was trying not to be noticed. I peeked around the corner and saw the strangest thing I'd ever seen. Emily was sitting on the couch. Naked. With her legs spread. Touching herself. Embarrassed, I decided to slip back out of the room until she, umm, finished or something. I was so focused on not looking at her that it took a moment to realize that she was talking all sexy like. Things like "You want to see me? Huh? All of me? Do you want to taste me?" I couldn't believe it. But it was odd enough to cut through my feelings of shame. Who in the fuck was she talking to? I hadn't seen anyone else in the room. I peeked back into the room and noticed that she was talking to the wall. She was looking directly at the wall opposite her and asking it if it wanted to fuck her. And while I didn't know dick about sex, I was pretty damn sure that walls didn't make great lovers. I mean, it had been staring at my ass for weeks while I did yoga with her. I was about to laugh at the thought when the weirdness actually went up a notch. She wasn't talking to the wall. She was talking to one of the cracks in the wall. All of her attention was directed at one of those artful fucking cracks. I stared at it, incredulous. Then, I heard a tiny whirring noise and saw the glint of glass through the crack.

HOLY FUCK! THERE WAS A FUCKING CAMERA IN THE FUCKING WALL!

She was being recorded. And I couldn't decide in the moment whether it was better or worse that she knew it was happening. Then the moment got a whole lot bigger. How long had that camera been there? Were there more? Was that the reason that Emily and Jordan had gotten so upset at me fixing up the apartment? What else had it been recording?

Me?

Then the world went red.