At the funeral, Lovino was able to meet Antonio's parents for the first time ever. Antonio's mother was a very tiny woman, standing under 5 feet. She greeted Lovino with tears in her eyes. They hugged and she refused to let him go as she cried into his the lower part of his chest. Lovino looked up, over the top of her head, behind her stood Antonio's father. Antonio's father was a handsome man and both of his sons looked a lot like him.

"You are Lovino?" He asked in broken English. Lovino nodded still holding the old woman in his arms. Antonio's father then hugged him as well. They all cried holding on to each other. Lovino was never good at funerals, he had always been an overly emotional person, who hid most everything he felt behind anger. But right now the icy feeling in his heart and the pain he felt flowing through his whole body was to unbearable to hid behind his fake rage and anger. He didn't know how to express himself and this day was even worst.

Every person who tried to comfort him with sweet words and other things, he wanted to shove away. Their words meant nothing to him, they did not ease the pain or comfort him in anyway, their words no matter how helpful they were trying to be only made the hurt worst. Because these words they told him only made him realize further that the love of his life was be buried that day, deep into the cold Earth. Antonio was in the hands of god, and Lovino hated the lord for that. Antonio was his not god's, why did he want him now, why couldn't he just have him when they both died of old age.

Lovino shook his head as he stared at the casket. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked to see his grandfather, he said nothing to his grandson. He knew nothing he could say would make Lovino feel better all he knew is that he had to hope that that pain would ease in time. For some people the pain did ease but for others that pain never goes away, because the person chooses to cling to it, they feel like if the pain goes away then they are forgetting the person. He could only hope and pray that Lovino wouldn't end up like Gilbert.

The casket was lowered into the ground as the funeral started to reach an end. Lovino stayed long after everyone had left, he stayed longer then Antonio's parents, he stayed until the sun had gone down. He couldn't stand the thought of leaving. He wanted to talk to the grave, he didn't see it as a grave but as a connection, he felt like as long as he was here Antonio could hear him. He wanted to say something to him anything but the words just wouldn't come. The grounds keeper walked up to Lovino. "Sir you know its against the law to be in a grave yard this late at night."

"I didn't..." Lovino said not even looking towards him. He cried silently unmoving from the spot he sat. The grounds keeper walked next to him and sat down on the ground with him. He pulled out a cigarette and started to smoke.

"I understand how you feel. My wife of thirteen years died, she's buried under that tree over there. But you can't sleep here, he wouldn't want that from you. Go home, do what you need to do." He told him. Lovino glared at him.

"How would you know what he wants! You didn't know him you don't know what he would want and what he wouldn't I'm sick of people telling me what he would have wanted!" He stood, tears flowing down his face. He knew that Antonio wouldn't want him sitting there all night, but he just wanted to be with him a little longer before he had to go home and try to sleep in the bed they once shared.

He left the graveyard, promising Antonio that he would be back tomorrow. He went home and didn't even waste time getting undressed, he crawled into bed and closed his eyes. He was going to wake up and this was all going to be a horrible terrifying nightmare, he was going to wake up and he was going to be wrapped safe and sound in Antonio's arms. Lovino pressed his face into his pillow and somehow he was able to fall asleep. When morning came he didn't want to get out of his bed, he didn't eat and he didn't get anything to drink either.

He stayed in bed until finally he crawled out and went to the graveyard to see Antonio again. He sat at the grave and today he was finally able to talk to him. "I miss you so much, I wish that you were still here with me. I can't believe your gone. I wake up every morning thinking that you'll be there, that you made breakfast, that I'll tell you I had a bad dream and you'll hold me. But every morning I wake up and realize that you won't be there, that I'll never see your smiling face again, I'll never feel the touch of your skin again. It kills me to know that I have to live my whole life without you."

This pattern went on for weeks, then months, when it started to reach a year Lovino's visits became less but he didn't go out of his state of depression. He still cried all the time, woke thinking it all had been a nightmare, on his days off he spent in bed. People were starting to worry about him, but they left him alone, everyone had to morn in their own way. This believe that he would come out of it on his own.

After a year, a lot of things happened, he had to hire new waiters and cooks for the restaurant, Gilbert became a policeman, Feliciano was taking cooking classes in Italy, he and Ludwig were both temporally living there until he was finished with his lessons. Francis became a sex/relationship therapist and was probably the best in the city, if only he wasn't such a huge gossip. Grandpa Vargas retired and was now spending all his time fishing, travailing and watching Wheel of Fortune with Grandfather Weillschmidt.

Lovino was on his own trying to run the restaurant and because of that he had to bottle away his sadness and let it out when he didn't have to work, and he still tried to visit Antonio's grave as often as he could but being the owner of a restaurant, the visits became less and less. But one day on his day off he drove to the graveyard and walked straight to Antonio's grave. He talked to him like he always did, letting him now how much he missed him, and how lonely he was without him, and even keeping him updated on what was going on in his life and the lives of others.

"Lovino, your here again." A voice said behind him. Lovino looked and saw Gilbert in full cop uniform. He was holding flowers in bundle, they were white roses. Lovino wiped his eyes and glared over at him.

"Of course I'm here! Why are you here?" Lovino grumbled. Gilbert stuck his hand in his pocket and sighed. Lovino stood up his glaring gaze never left Gilbert. Gilbert was the last person he wanted to see, he didn't want to have to deal with him.

"I'm here to pay someone a visit...I come and see them three times a year." Gilbert said and looked down.

"Why three times a year."

"Because the days I come were the most important. The day we got together, his birthday, and the day he died." Gilbert said and started to walk off, he looked over his shoulder at Lovino. "Tell Antonio I said hi." He told him. Lovino watched Gilbert walk further into the graveyard and set the white roses down onto a grave. He stood there for over a hour, saying nothing, just standing there.

Lovino looked back over at Antonio. "Gilbert said hi." Lovino said and began to walk away. He wondered just who Gilbert was visiting, he didn't really care enough to go investigate. He went home and crawled into bed.

~...~

So I almost died today. I see it as karma because I almost died in a car assistant. Some old woman almost t-boned my car while I was driving home. I was so scared, she wasn't going to stop so I had to quickly hit the gas and serve to avoid hitting another car, but its all good, no one got hurt.

But please review. Oh and Alfred will be making an apperence in the next chapter. He'll get a pretty big role in this fic now.