Hey guys! My exams are over so I finally have time to write! Beca's into writing songs in this fic so I'm just going to be using songs from artists and naming them her's but I'll tell you the original artist so you can listen along.
The song used in this chapter is "If You Say So" by Lea Michele, I love this song because it's about Cory and I thought it fit in with the story too so I hope you like how I've used it.
OH MY GOD GUYS I'M GOING TO SEE PP2 TOMORROW IT'S FINALLY HERE! I'VE WAITED ALMOST THREE YEARS FOR THIS OMG I'VE BEEN PLAYING THE SOUNDTRACK NON STOP AND IT'S AMAZING!
It's All About Finding Yourself - Chapter 25
Chloe spread herself out onto Beca's bed whilst the brunette was too busy having a petty argument with her father outside the room. Everyone had been on a high over the weekend after they won sectionals and they had given Beca all the credit for coming up with a brand new set list. Life was great.
Chloe sighed as she rolled onto her stomach and slid her hands under Beca's pillow, furrowing her brow as she pulled out a notebook. Chloe brought herself up to sit on her knees and curiously opened up the book. The first page was titled 'If You Say So' and it wasn't hard for Chloe to figure out that it was a song. Beca wrote songs?
The page was dated December twelfth 2008. Chloe did the math, she was ten in 08 so that meant that Beca was eleven. Wow she was writing songs at eleven? Chloe allowed her eyes to scan over the condition of the page, some of the words were scored out and replaced with different ones, it also seemed like droplets of water had smudged some of the pen.
"Hey, I'm sorry about that, he was driving me crazy." Beca walked back in the room before coming to a standstill once she realised what Chloe was holding. "Don't look at that!" Beca rushed out as she threw herself onto the bed grabbing the notebook out of Chloe's hands.
"You write songs?" Chloe asked softly, ignoring Beca's sudden outburst.
"Uh yeah but when I was like eleven so they're terrible." Beca mumbled, sliding the notebook back under her pillow.
"If they're so terrible then why do you keep them under your pillow?" Chloe asked, pushing Beca's hair behind her ear. "The first song, who's that about?" She pushed slightly, by reading the lyrics she had a sort of rough idea.
"My aunt Elena." Beca replied simply. "If you say so' were the last words she said to me."
*Flashback*
"Are you sure you girls will be alright while I'm gone?" Elena asked with concern as she reached forward and grabbed her car keys off the table.
Stacie and Beca rolled their eyes. They were both eleven and you know what eleven year old's are like, they think they can do everything by themselves. "We'll be fine." Beca laughed.
"Okay, call me if you need anything." Elena stood up and walked over to where her niece was sitting and kissed her on the top of the head. "I love you girl." She winked and Beca smiled.
"Love you more." Beca sang mockingly as her aunt walked out of the living room.
"If you say so!" Elena called back with a laugh before exiting the house completely.
And that was the last time Beca would hear her aunt's voice.
*End of Flashback*
"Oh my god." Chloe had tears in her eyes just thinking about what Beca had just told her. "Aw baby." Chloe reached her arms forward and pulled Beca into a hug when she noticed the brunette wipe a tear away from her cheek.
"I'm sorry." Beca clung onto her girlfriend and buried her face into her neck.
"What are you apologising for?" Chloe asked, running her hand up and down Beca's back.
"There's hardly ever a time we're together when one of us doesn't cry." Beca laughed half heartedly as she pulled away, wiping her eyes.
"That's nothing to be sorry for, at least we're finally more open with each other." Chloe reassured, rubbing her hand up and down Beca's thigh.
"I guess." The brunette sighed, finally composing herself. "You know no one else knows about the song." Beca lifted her head and looked straight into Chloe's glassy eyes.
"Sing it in glee club." Chloe said almost immediately. Beca shook her head. "Why not? I bet you sing it beautifully."
Beca pinched the bridge of her nose whilst continuing to shake her head. "Chloe if I start singing it, I'll start crying." Beca said in an almost pleading manner.
"Listen. What do you want to do with your life after school?" Chloe asked, knowing fully well what the answer would be.
"Produce music."
Chloe picked up the notebook and placed it in Beca's lap. "You need to start somewhere."
Mr McKay walked into the choir room, thrusting the trophy in the air as the teenagers cheered him on.
"We're officially on the road to nationals!" He exclaimed enthusiastically and everyone else clapped. "Okay before we start on your first assignment, Chloe has notified me about a song." His eyes landed on Beca who pulled her notebook out of her bag with a deep breath. "The stage is yours Beca." My McKay took a seat next to the other kids as Beca stood up and sat down at the piano bench.
"Most of you know that I want to be a music producer." Beca began, talking to the rest of her classmates. "I do make mixes of songs but I also write some. This song's called 'If You Say So' I wrote it in 2008 so it has a chance of being awful since I was only eleven." Beca laughed slightly as she opened her notebook and set it in front of her.
"Beca." Chloe's soft voice made Beca turn her head to notice the redhead was walking towards her waving her glasses in her hand.
"I would get nowhere without you." Beca said quietly with a smile as she allowed her girlfriend to put her glasses on for her.
"Good luck." Chloe whispered, placing a kiss on Beca's lips before returning to her seat.
"A few of you will be able to understand who this song is for." And with that Beca began softly hitting the keys on the piano.
[Beca]
It's been seven whole days, seven whole days
Since you paralyzed me.
Seven whole days, seven whole days
Since you lost your fight.
And I can't get the last words that you said,
Can't get those words out of my head.
Seven whole days, seven whole days
And four words.
And I can't get away from the burning pain,
I lie awake.
And the fallen hero haunts my thoughts,
How could you leave me this way?
Stacie was the first to realise what the song was about as a quiet sob caught Beca's attention to find the taller brunette with tears already rolling down her cheeks which immediately made Beca's eyes well up.
It's been seven whole days
Without your embrace.
I want to see your face,
I got some things to say.
Was just a week ago,
You said, "I love you girl."
I said, "I love you more."
Then a breath, a pause, you said,
If you say so.
If you say so.
If you say so.
If you say so.
Beca's hands shook and her voice cracked. She couldn't carry on. She pulled her hands away from the piano and covered her face, sobbing uncontrollably as everyone else sat in silence.
Jesse stood up and joined Beca on the piano bench making the brunette tear her eyes away from her face. Jesse's eyes were welled up slightly but Beca felt bad that she was the one getting so worked up over the song rather than him. Jesse smiled at his cousin before studying the notes written in Beca's notebook and soon began to hit the keys effortlessly.
[Jesse]
It's been seven whole days, seven whole days
Since I heard the phone ring.
Seven whole days, seven whole days
Since I heard your voice.
And I can't get the last words that you said,
Can't get those words out of my head.
[Beca and Jesse]
It's been seven whole days, seven whole days
Of pure hurt.
And I can't get away from the burning pain,
I lie awake.
And the fallen hero haunts my thoughts,
How could you leave me this way?
Aubrey was the next to stand up, taking the still sobbing Stacie by the hand and pulling her up to the floor. Stacie hooked her arms around Beca's neck from behind as rested her chin on top of the said girl's head.
[Beca, Jesse, Aubrey and Stacie]
It's been seven whole days
Without your embrace.
I want to see your face,
I got some things to say.
Was just a week ago,
You said, "I love you girl."
I said, "I love you more."
Then a breath, a pause, you said,
If you say so.
If you say so.
If you say so.
If you say so.
I can't believe it's true,
I keep looking for you,
I check my phone and wait
To hear from you.
In the crowded room
The joker is so cruel.
And now I'll never know,
If all I've been told
Is just a lie so bold,
I thought we would grow old.
Mirrors in the smoke
Left me here to choke.
It's been seven whole days
Without your embrace.
I want to see your face,
I got some things to say.
Was just a week ago,
You said, "I love you girl."
I said, "I love you more."
Then a breath, a pause, you said,
If you say so.
If you say so.
If you say so.
If you say so.
There was silence once they finished. Nobody wanted to disturb the emotional moment that Jesse, Beca, Aubrey and Stacie were having as they held each other tight in a group hug. "I love you guys." Beca mumbled as she used the sleeve of her hoodie to dry her eyes. Singing that song with three of the most important people in her life really pulled at Beca's heartstrings as all the memories they shared which involved Elena rushed back to her.
After giving each other one last squeeze, Aubrey, Jesse and Stacie took a seat whilst Beca stood in the middle of the floor wanting to say a few words. "I wrote that song a week after my Aunt Elena was in the accident, writing a song was the only way I could express my feelings. She was like a mom to me, I don't have any clear memories of my mom since she left so having Aunt Elena there instead was just normality to me. Every girl needs a female role model to look up to when they're growing up, she was mine. She was always the person who I would go to if I had a problem. I wonder now and again how she would've reacted if she was here when I realised that I'm gay-"
"She would've loved you just as much." Jesse interjected with reassurance. "She's smiling down on you right now, reminding you how lucky you are to have a girlfriend like Chloe and friends and family who love you no matter what."
Beca smiled through the welling tears in her eyes.
"I love you more." Beca said as she looked up at the ceiling, pointing her finger up with a smile at her Aunt.
"Beca I don't know what to say." Mr McKay began as he wiped his own eyes. Beca was surprised that her music was actually hitting people emotionally, maybe Chloe was right. "That was beautiful, do you have any other songs that you're writing?"
"Uh I've got a notebook full of unfinished ones but that's about it." Beca shrugged as Mr McKay walked past her to the whiteboard.
"You're really talented in that way Beca, I mean I know you're dyslexic and all but the way you write songs is unbelievable." Beca smiled at Mr McKay's words as she walked back over to the chairs but before she could sit down Chloe stood up and cupped her face.
"You're so strong, I love you so much." Chloe rushed out a little breathlessly as she quickly connected her lips sweetly with her girlfriend's.
Beca would fight against what Chloe said. Beca would argue that Chloe is the strongest in the relationship after hearing about all the shit the redhead had to go through.
"Have you fucked her yet?" Stacie asked randomly as she nudged her foot into Beca who was lying on her back at the other end of the bed, playing around on her phone. Beca was bored after school because Chloe was going out to dinner with her dad so she decided she would just go over to Stacie's.
"Have I fucked who?" Beca replied distractedly.
"Aubrey." Stacie deadpanned.
"What?"
"Chloe you asshole. God, listen to me." Stacie rolled her eyes, kicking her foot into Beca's hip.
"No I haven't." Beca finally answered after wrestling Stacie's foot away from her.
"Why not?"
"Dude I don't know!" Beca exclaimed, finally looking around her phone to look at her asshole of a best friend.
"Someone's a little sexually frustrated." Stacie sang.
"Okay! Maybe I am!" Beca admitted with a frustrated sigh. Stacie was a little taken aback by Beca's quick reply in admitted to what Stacie started off as a joke.
"Why not make a move then?" Stacie asked with a shrug as she began filing her nails.
"Oh I've made plenty of moves, dude. The problem is that she just keeps going on about how she wants to make the first time special but it's honestly driving me insane." Beca sat up, tossing her phone to the side before crossing her legs.
"Didn't you already tell me that she's had sex with her ex before?"
"Yeah she has, I don't know why she's been avoiding it with me." This was genuinely something that was getting to Beca lately. Two and a half months was okay if both of the people in the relationship were comfortable about it right? Also Chloe loved Beca and Beca loved Chloe.
"Maybe she has a dick." Stacie tried to keep a straight face, refusing to look up from her nails.
"One hundred percent the girl doesn't have a penis, Stace."
"Can you ever be so sure?" Stacie bit her lip to suppress the laugh, she was enjoying this way too much.
"I've seen her in just her underwear, I'm pretty sure I would have noticed if she had a dick you asshole." Beca picked up a pillow and slapped Stacie with it.
"Well she's a weirdo if she doesn't want sex then." Stacie shrugged. "Why don't you just take charge and make it impossible for her to refuse?" She suggested.
"You think it'll work?"
"Girl do you know who you're talking to?" Stacie challenged.
Beca's mission 'Operation sex up Chloe' was a go.
Just a little Steca banter at the end there. By the way have you guys seen recent Kendrick or Britt interviews? They keep getting asked about Bechloe it's hilarious
question - What did you think about If You Say So? And when are you seen wing PP2?