Monday.. I hate Mondays! I want to share something with you!! I love music and I made a playlist of mine and sent it to the most famous radio station of my town and they chose me. Yes.. For two hours they played my music! I was incredibly happy!!! Just wanted to share this with you!! Enjoy the new chapter..


Chapter 25

Spencer's POV

These past three weeks was hell in heaven. Ash is not used to this. So to say that it was easy for me to hold her down and not do anything was very difficult. I swear to you I think that my daughter of three years old is more mature. At least she listens when I tell her something. Ashley from the other hand.. it's something else.

She didn't like the food; she wanted to help me with everything in the house, not to say that she wanted to have sex. She even proposed me that I wouldn't do anything. I would just lay down and she would only touch me. You know where. Like I don't know her.

But one month was coming to its end and I felt so much relief. Don't misunderstand me. I love taken care of her but for once I just want her to listen to me. To say for one time 'yes, Spencer. You have right. I'll do what you say'. I don't want her to be obedient or anything. I just want her to understand the situation. I care for her so deeply..

I was just sitting alone in the living room deep in thoughts when I heard footsteps behind me. I knew it was Ashley. I always know when she is near. It's just a feeling I have with her.

"Spence?"

"Hmmm..?"

"What are you doing here alone?"

"Just thinking"

"Thinking eh? That's a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Depends how you look at that"

"Baby? Can I sit here with you?"

"You don't have to ask Ash"

She sat next to me and cuddled with me. She was getting better. More stronger. She could do things for herself and I couldn't tell her not to do anything. She kissed my arm and warped her hands round my waist..

"Spence.. I love you so much."

"I know you do Ash.." I tried to continue but she stopped me with her fingers..

"No, please I want to say something."

"Ok"

"Spence, I'm stubborn, I don't have patience, I love doing things on my own and I never had someone to be here with me. I know I made your life difficult all these days and I am sorry. I am so sorry baby. I didn't want to. But you are an amazing person, an amazing girlfriend who soon will be my wife. I am sorry for being a child sometimes. I promise to you that I'll try to be less of these things in the future. Because I want us to work. I want us to have a family and be a grown up. Not a child. I just wanted you to know that."

"Ash.. you are perfect in every single way. You are it for me and you know it. It is nice to know that you know you were stubborn. Believe me that all I want is for you to be ok. All I did was to keep you from being hurt again."

"I know Spence. I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive. If you weren't the way you are then I wouldn't love you so much. Because I love you no matter what. With advantages and disadvantages."

"You are the best girlfriend in the whole world"

"Whole world eh?"

"Yeap. And you are mine"

"I'm yours baby."

I kissed her in her lips and I took her in my arms. She lost some weight from all this but nevertheless she was beautiful as always. We separated from each other when we heard a knock on the door..

"You wait for someone?"

"No. Everyone is at job. What if it's about Christine?"

"Then open the door Spence"

When I did I came face to face with a police officer. My face drop in the ground because immediately my mind went to the recent events. We were waiting to hear what happened with Paulie. When Ashley gave her statement to the police about what happened, the police went to Paulie's house to look for her. She wasn't there. There was blood but not Paulie. She must have found her senses and left. All these long I was afraid. I didn't want to pass my fears to Ashley and I didn't tell her about what police found. She was still in hospital and then with the new crisis I couldn't tell her either. All these long I kept it inside me. If I told her then she would go outside and look for her. And if she did that then I would lose her. She was still weak.

"Spence who is it?"

"Ehm.. the police" Ashley came from behind me and opened the door wider.

"Hi, there officer. What we can do about you?"

"Sorry for coming here this early but I would like to speak to both of you. I assume you are Ms Davies"

"Yes, I am. What's wrong officer?"

"Can I come in?"

"Of course. Come in" Ashley looked at me and I knew she was asking me with her eyes what was wrong. Sooner or later she would find out..

"Ms Davies it's about your statement to the police station few weeks ago about Ms Paulie Hatchson."

"I thought the case closed. She was found dead." Ashley looked at me again like she didn't know what was happening. And she didn't.

"No. You must be wrong. Paulie Hatchon is not dead. After your statement we went to her house to find her but she was nowhere to be found. We found her blood and your blood all over the kitchen and we searched the house for more evidents"

"Spence? What is he saying?"

"Ash.. I.."

"I thought you knew. We talked with Ms Carlin and informed her for everything the next day"

"No, I didn't know anything." I tried to touch her hand but she pulled it from me. I knew she was angry with all this. I kept a secret from her and now she is angry. But I wanted to protect her.

"Well the reason I came here today. We think we found her and that lady match the description you gave us. We would like both of you to come to the station to see if she is the same girl."

"Thank you officer. When we could come?"

"You could come with me or you can come by yourselves through the day"

"Officer, thank you but we would like to come by ourselves. You see our daughter comes from daycare at noon and we would like to be here when she arrives."

"I understand. Here is my card. Have a nice day ladies"

"Thank you officer"

All this time we were here the three of us I never spoke. I couldn't really. What could I say? Ashley never looked at me once and every time I tried to reach her she was going away from me.

"Ash..?" she had her back on me. She didn't turn back to see me or talk to me.

"Ash.. please look at me."

She turned her face and I saw tears on her face. I wanted to reach her and kiss every tear on her face but when I took a step forward she did a step backward.

"Ash.. please. Talk to me"

"Talk to you? Spencer.. This fucking crazy bitch was still alive and you didn't tell me anything. So why talk to you?"

"Ash.. please baby.. don't be like this."

"Being what Spencer? Tell me how you want me to be"

"Don't be like this. I didn't tell you because you were still recovering. What good that would make?"

"Fuck me with the fucking recovery. Just Fuck me. My recovery this, my revovery that. My revovery, my ass. You could just tell me" she was extremely angry. I never saw her like that again. And she had every reason to be like this. I understood from where she was coming.

"Could you please relax?"

"RELAX? Are you fucking kidding me? Please.. Tell me that you are because I can't explain it"

I tried to step closer to her but she was still going away from me.

"Don't come near me Spencer" it was the third time she called me by my full name and now I missed her calling me Spence.

"Ash, please understand.."

"Understand?" she was laughing now but it was a hysteric laugh. She was crying and laughing at the same time. "Understand what? That you lied to me? That the crazy ex-girlfriend of yours was still out there so long? Why you didn't tell me? Ha? What? Did you afraid that maybe I would kill her and you would be sad? That you would lose your first love?"

Now she was out of herself. She said what? Did she say what I think she said? I was afraid for Paulie because I didn't want to lose her? No, I must have heard wrong.

"What did you just say? Because I think that I heard that you said that I didn't want you to kill Paulie because I would lose her"

"That's exactly what I said. You heard me. You were afraid that I would kill her or I would put someone else to do the dirty job and that's you never told me"

"Are you lost your fucking mind?" I was furious. How she dare think like that? Paulie was nothing to me and she took my daughter. How she could say those things to me. I knew she was hurting but saying these things..

"You must be because you don't think before you speak. Can you hear what you just said? Can you? If you lost your memory let me refresh you. First Paulie took my daughter so she can have me back and second she stubbed you to death. How on earth I would want something like that not to be dead? Because I did. And if I could I would kill her with my own hands. But I am not such a person." She looked at me and I saw her eyes fell on the floor. I suppose she wasn't the only angry one here. And she never saw me before yell at her.

"I never told you because you were still in hospital and then you were back at hospital again. You did surgery twice. Twice and you crushed many times. Do you want to know why I never told you? Because you are A FUCKING STUBBORN. That's why I never told you. If I tell you not to get up you do the opposite. If I told you she was alive you would go out there look for her and kill her."

"You bet your ass I would. Whenever I have to choose between myself and you and Christine I will always choose both of you. Because I want to protect you. I want you to be safe."

"And who would protect you Ashley? Tell me. Because I do the exact same thing to you and you accuse me of things." She didn't answer me back so I just continued.

"You can't always protect us. I'm glad you want to. But we can protect ourselves you know and I have enough strength to protect you as well. You told me that if you had to choose, you would choose us. And that is what I am telling you. I would do the same. You and Christine are my life. And I would anything to protect you. Even if I had to not tell you things that might upset you"

We yelled to each other. It was the first time we had a fight like this and I didn't like it at all. I didn't like to fight with Ashley. It made me sad. But I think that we had to tell this things to each other. And I know she understands because now she look more relaxed and she looks at me again with those beautiful eyes of her.

"I'm sorry"

"You seem to ask sorry so many times Ashley"

"I mean it Spence. I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say"

"I want you to tell me that you won't get into conclusions before you hear me out. Because that's what you always do Ash."

"I know. I know. I'm trying. Please."

"I know that you are trying and I try to be understanding but don't make the most of my love Ash."

"I don't."

"Yes, you are. I love you and you know it. When you are like this I think that you use my love for your advantage"

"Spe-nce.. I.. don't.. I would never.."

"I hope you don't. I love you. I truly do. And I want to be with you but if you keep like this I don't know if it's the best for us to get married"

"Spence.."

I know I was hard on her. But sometimes I feel like this. I know she had a hard life and she never cared for anyone. I know that she loves me and Christine. I can see it in her eyes. But if I have to shake her so she can understand then I'll do it. I would never leave her. I just want for her to think some things. If we are to get marry I want to know that she can be in a serious long term relationship. We are not alone. We have Christine and when one of us hurting we hurt Christine back. And I don't want to do that to my child. To our child. Because Christine has two mothers.

TBC

This chapter is longer than the last one. Love problems.. I guess Ashley has to stop doing what she is doing. But we love her. Don't we? Hope you liked this chapter..

Reviews are always welcome…

xx