Chapter 25- Last words.

Thanks for the explanations of the joke last chapter. I got into RvB really late, like season 11 late so I didn't understand that the whistling and clicks were a reference of the shitty quality of the old old episodes. Funny joke that I love RT made. I also like the wrong answer I got from a reviewer because of the sweet Archer reference. "Damn you Tinnitus! You're a cruel mistress!" Anyway hope you enjoy.

—-

"Last words" appeared on the screen with the theme music.

"Huh, I wonder if someone is going to die?" Jaune said.

"Morbid title, but maybe." Blake said.

The scene opened to show that The Warthog has Sarge pinned, and is firing toward his head. Doc is still impotently sitting in the jeep

Simmons: "Okay, we gotta do something here guys."

Donut: "You're right. I got dibs on Sarge's armor."

A few of them chuckled.

The blue base, Tucker kneeling in front of Church, who still hears the beeping

Tucker: "Okay Church, you ready, I'm gonna yank the wire."

Back to the Warthog and Sarge

Sarge: "Grif, if you see Lopez, tell him I forgive him. Tell him, he was like a son to me."

Grif: "I thought Simmons was like a son to you?"

Sarge: "No offense, Simmons. Lopez and I just, understood each other better."

Nora laughed. "Ren can understand the language better after just a day!"

Ren smiled at Nora and smiled back.

Simmons: "Understood... he refused to speak English."

Grif: "Yeah, and he ran away the first chance he got."

Simmons: "And now he's trying to kill you with a remote control jeep."

Sarge: "Ahhhh, what a little rascal."

The blues

Tucker: "Alrigh, here goes nothin'. One... Two... Three!"

(pulls the wire, and the beeping stops)

Church: "Oh God yes, finally! Some freakin' peace and quiet! I thought that was gonna drive me nuts! ...Hey. Why can't I move my legs?"

The reds. The Warthog stops firing

Warthog: (shutting down) "Signal lost."

Grif: "Wow, that was a close one. Are you okay Sarge?"

Sarge: "Ah, horse puckey, I'm fine. Although I do have to admit, maybe a little bit disappointed."

Simmons: "It's okay sir. I know that you said a lot of things that you didn't mean. People say crazy stuff when they're faced with their own mortality."

Sarge: "It's not that. I just felt like I could have taken him."

Grif: "Taken who, the machine gun?"

Sarge: "Oh he was a worthy opponent to be sure, but right at the end there he was beginning to show signs of weakness. Cracks in the armor, if you will."

"There would have been cracks in his armor if he stayed." Weiss said sighing.

"Wow, Weiss did you just make a joke?" Ruby asked.

"What?" Weiss said confused.

"The show is making Weiss funny!" Yang yelled.

"It's a miracle!" Nora yelled.

Grif: "What? You can't fight a machine gun."

Donut: "Yeah, Sarge. I know you're tough and all, but it is kinda hard to beat up hundreds of armor piercing bullets using only your face."

Yang who was drinking water quickly turned to her left and couched up water from laughing.

Unfortunately Ruby was to her left.

"Yang! Gross gross gross gross gross!" Ruby said frantically while Yang was still wheezing.

"It's everywhere!" Weiss yelled.

Yang who was starting to catch her breath got up from the floor.

"Ugh, oh wow." She said before laughing again. "Agh that hurt so much, ugh it went out my nose."

"Grooooossssss!" Ruby yelled.

"Ruby I'm sure its fine, It's just water." Pyrrha said trying to help.

"Yeah it's not vomit."

"Hey!" Jaune yelled, mildly offended.

"Oh, sorry Jaune I didn't mean you." Yang said quickly.

"It's fine, are you ok Ruby?" Jaune asked.

"Euegh! Yeah just gross, Yang! Why did you turn to me? Theres nothing on your left!" Ruby yelled.

Yang laughed nervously. "Oops"

"Ugh, just play it." Ruby said sighing.

Sarge: "And yet, he surrendered."

Doc: "Guys, guys, it's okay, I've seen this before. Sarge just lived through a very traumatic ordeal. We all have ways of coping with the stress."

Everyone nodded to themselves thinking of their own ways of dealing with stress.

Grif: "Oh yeah? How do you deal with it?"

Doc: "Oh I have my own system, that works pretty well for me. ...By the way, the driver side of the jeep is gonna need a thorough cleaning."

Back in blue... Can't blame me for trying

Church: "This is great, this is just great. Thanks a lot Caboose. Now what'm I supposed to do: my lower half is damaged."

Caboose: "Why don't you try walking it off?"

Church: "I can't use my legs, moron."

Caboose: "Oh, I see. ...Have you tried running?"

"Sounds like Nora giving advice." Jaune commented.

"If your arms are tired just work it off!" Nora yelled.

Tucker: "This doesn't seem like that big a deal, you hardly ever used your legs before anyway. I've never heard of a grown man asking for so many piggy-back rides."

"I've never heard of a big sister asking for so many!" Ruby said looking to Yang.

"Hey, I told you. That was to make you stronger." Yang said.

Church: "Hey, I already told you: that was for science."

Yang and Ruby laughed at that. "Dad makes the same excuse." Yang explained.

Caboose: "Why don't you just try, walking on your hands? Then you could your feet for high fiiiiives, and ...eatin' sandwicheeeees... you know, the important stuff."

"My point exactly!" Nora yelled.

Ren and Jaune sighed while Pyrrha chuckled.

The reds

Simmons: "Hey Doc, although I'm sure Sarge enjoys having his spine pulverised in to dust, maybe you should go ahead and back up the warthog."

Doc: "Oh, right. Sorry." (drives the Warthog forward, against Sarge some more)

Sarge: "Oh, hot buttered lugnuts!"

Doc: "Oh, geez, I'm really sorry, I, I just was in the wrong gear, let me just..." (rams Sarge again)

"Everyone, this is a great example of Ruby driving." Yang said gesturing to the screen.

"Oh yeah!? Like you were any better! Dad showed me the videos!" Ruby said grinning at Yangs face.

"He swore not to show anyone!" Yang yelled, eyes turning Red.

"He showed everyone!" Ruby said laughing. "Qrow, every other teacher at Signal, the newspaper boy-" She listed counting on her fingers as Yangs anger grew and grew.

"When this is over, Me and Dad are going to have a little chat." Yang gritted out.

"What are you gonna do? Beat him up over the phone?" Weiss asked.

Yang growled loudly.

"Looks like she's going to try." Nora whispered.

Sarge: "Yoh, geez, there goes mah last kidney. I was saving that one for a special occasion."

Doc: "Third time's a charm?"

Simmons: "I don't think so, Poindexter. Outta the jeep now!"

Doc: "I'm really sorry guys. I was only trying to help."

Simmons: "Really."

Grif: "Oh is that all? I for one was totally confused. I thought you were savagely trying to kill our Sargeant by ramming him over and over with a six thousand pound steel death machine. Now that we know that you're just trying to help, by all means, please continue."

Yang and Nora chuckled at the sarcasm.

Doc: "... ...really?"

Grif and Simmons: "Get out!"

The blues. Tucker is kneeling in front of Church, working on his wires

Church: "Well just start reattaching wires, I'll tell you when I feel something."

Tucker: "What about that, do you feel that Church?"

Church: "No, what're you doing, I don't feel anything."

Caboose: "Oh, Church? You know, I was thinkin'. ...Uh yih yih ya know, when you, when you eat ice cream too fast sometimes and it hurts your brain?"

"Ugh, yes" Ruby muttered.

"See Nora? Your "theory" Ren said making air quotes. "Of eating the ice cream faster to stop the brain freeze isn't true."

Nora huffed and went to grab Ice cream out of the mini fridge. "We'll see about that Renny!"

The reds are approaching the distance behind Church

Church: "Hey Caboose? Yeah. Shut up."

Caboose: (seeing the reds) "Uh... Church? I think that you should know that the reds are-"

Church: "Dammit Caboose! In the short time I've known you, you've managed to call my girlfriend a slut, blow me up with a tank, shoot me in the head, and now paralyze me from the waist down! So I hope it's not too much for me to ask, just for once, if you'd shut yer freakin' mouth!"

Simmons: "Hey blues, we're here to- what the hell are you guys doing?"

Yang laughed.

"What is it?" Ruby asked.

"Am I going to have to explain every sex joke they make?" Yang asked kind of annoyed.

"No! Just the ones I- that I don't understand." Ruby mumbled shyly.

"So all of them?" Yang asked rhetorically.

"Agh! Brainfreeze!" Nora yelled.

Ren merely sighed.

—-

I would just like to thank a few reviewers and people that have dmed me(you know who you are) for the advice and suggestions. I wanted to release this chapter soon so I'm not able to see if they're ok with me giving a shoutout but maybe tomorrow.

Please review and dm me any suggestions, questions, and/or requests you have!