TWENTY – FIVE – The Polyjuice Potion, The Very Secret Diary

Dumbledore

McGonagall

Sprout

Flitwick

Snape

Lockhart

I don't suppose you've heard about Miss Granger, Minerva?

Of course I heard! Poppy told me just after the girl went to her.

What's happened?

Quite awful, really. Granger's half cat.

…What?

I don't know. Minerva?

Poppy doesn't ask questions, and she's not letting me, either.

Perhaps Miss Know-It-All attempted a transfiguration.

She's a SECOND YEAR, Severus! She's advanced, and she catches on quickly, but she's not stupid! She wouldn't have tried to do a human transfiguration.

Then perhaps there's another explanation. I believe I brought it up when some of my personal stocks went missing.

Are you still on about them brewing Polyjuice? See above statement.

It could have been some sort of accident with the brewing if she did try it. You thought I was being ridiculous when I suggested a traitor last year, too.

I think this idea even more ludicrous.

You simply don't want to think badly of your students.

Did I hear that Miss Granger's up in the hospital wing?

And I thought I'd be able to go the whole day without hearing from him…

Yes, Gilderoy, Granger is in the hospital wing.

Dreadful! What's happened to the girl?

Nothing of your concern.

Oh, come now!

She's managed to half turn herself into a cat, Gilderoy.

That's easily fixed! I'll just go up now and –

NO! No you will not! You'll just stay in your office and leave Madame Pomfrey to it!

Really now, it's a very simple spell –

No! Don't you touch my student, Gilderoy! You "helped" Poppy enough with Potter.

You're being just a touch ridiculous, Minerva, don't you think?

You think I'm being ridiculous? I'll SHOW you ridi –

Miss Granger is in perfectly capable hands, Gilderoy. Madame Pomfrey will take care of her.

Yes, let Poppy do her job. That way you can focus more on your own, Gilderoy!

A fabulous suggestion, seeing as how far behind students now are in Def –

Minerva.

What, Albus? You know I'm ri –

Minerva…

None of the fifth years are going to pass the O –

Minerva!

FINE!

Do you know what I found interesting today?

No, and I don't particularly think I want to hear what you found interesting.

Someone locked Crabbe and Goyle in a closet after dinner.

Serves the brutes right. I'd love to lock them up somewhere.

Maybe they finally picked on the wrong person.

They were missing their shoes.

Why would you take their shoes?

Agreed. Those things probably smell awful.

Is no one else making the connections I am?

SECOND YEARS, Severus! SECOND!

I still think them capable of thinking they were capable –

That's it! You'd better lock your office up, because I'm coming down there and so help me if I get in!

You're forgetting our meeting, Minerva.

I am not! You set that for tomorrow morning!

I've moved it up.

Well that's marvelously convenient, isn't it?

Very much so.

You're going to drive me mad one of these days, you know that, don't you?

Only if you don't manage to drive me off the cliff first.

What do I do in comparison to the things you put me through?

Merlin's beard. Here we go.

Keeping track of your possible outbursts is quite a taxing job, Minerva.

Perhaps you should just leave me to it, then?

I think not. That'd be quite a bit of paperwork.

Expensive too, what with the bills for St. Mungo's, and then paying people to keep quiet and –

Shut up, Pomona.

Just trying to help.

Yeah, right. Let's get that meeting over with then, Albus?

I've moved it back to tomorrow morning.

YOU INFURIATING OLD MAN!

Author's Note

Disappointingly short, I know, especially since I've been away for over a week now! -sigh- I haven't figured out my life for this school year yet, which means complete chaos and loads of stress. Be nice to me!

Oh, hey! You know how you can be super nice to me? I'm not even going to tell you. You'll have to guess.

Well... okay. I'll give you a hint. It has to do with a button just a little bit below this message...