The Origins of Haruhi

by Rai Shu

A few alternative story lines, based on underlying time planes.

25. Best of Both Worlds

- Chapter 5: Best of Both Worlds

I think I wasn't really in the mood to take Yuki seriously, though she did gently insist that she could be described as "alien" in the most strict sense of the word. Things were coming together, at least, and I think I'd be content to keep quiet about it, since Yuki had basically provided my way to college with her excellent tutoring. There were surely many better things she could have done with her time, like being a mercenary, although any time I bring that up, she tends to ignore me. I'm probably the closest thing she has to a friend, and I'd really like to live up to that title a little better than I have been, recently. She doesn't complain about me, but I've noticed that she also doesn't complain on my behalf, so we probably have the most perfect relationship ever.

If anyone had a legitimate complaint, it would be Hibi. Just to satisfy my curiosity, I picked up some albums she helped work on, and I was completely blown away by the two or three tracks she wrote on each one. There was just no getting around the fact that she was singing about me, and although I wouldn't hesitate to recommend her work as a matter of taste, I would strongly hesitate to offer her work to anyone I knew. They would undoubtedly see my hand in it, and either think very much less of me or show me great pity that I had put up with that girl for so long. That she could express grief, jealousy, fury, bewilderment, and disappointment while breathing her own faults so quaintly that they seemed like virtues was the most ingenious aspect of her work. I found myself amazed and repulsed at the same time.

I wondered if Asahina had felt the same way about me. She surely had a lot of reason to complain about me, and I never saw her again. It was a pity, because I felt as though there was a brief connection between us, and had I not been so bored, maybe things would have gone more smoothly. That I had messed up whatever world we had created seemed pretty obvious, and it was probably just as well that I wouldn't be living in that world. This world of mine was becoming a brilliant place in spite of all the problems, and I couldn't think of a single thing to complain about in spite of my many failures to contribute toward its success. My only regret was the way I had treated Asakura, but then that situation had been helped along a little.

I did manage to convince Asakura to aspire to learning for the sake of being a better person, and that did seem to make a big difference for her. She really surprised herself. In the years to come, since she had begun accumulating expertise, she became notorious for her outstanding consulting skill. Thanks to that, she became a fast favorite of a number of wealthy and powerful people who didn't insist that she be the center of attention at parties. In contrast to what she'd been expecting, she actually became a far more sober and reserved individual, though it took some time for her to overcome a tendency to use drinking as a way to help get her points across.

Meanwhile, I had begun groping my way through college. Before I get into all that, I should mention that there was a club I had joined that seemed to cater to people like me. Miss Suzumiya had informed me that she was planning to head up a circle called the "Occult Research Club." I figured I might at least check it out, since I had (probably) taken a trip to the past, although I wasn't sure about how I would convince them. I already knew that Suzumiya was unaware of anything different between her reality and the one I had witnessed. She had mentioned being distracted a few times in weird ways on the night in question, but that was the only weird thing she had mentioned. I wanted to follow up on that, being curious about the nature of time travel, if nothing else.

When I entered the club room, it seemed a lot like the old literature club. The only difference was that I saw a studious man reading at the table, while Suzumiya was in the middle of gesturing toward the windows.

"Hello," I said. "Is this the occult research club?"

"Hey there!" Suzumiya said. "This is the place."

The man softly complained, "I thought we weren't going to call it that."

"What did you want to call it?" she asked.

"The unexplained phenomenon group," he answered.

"Oh," she said. "Well, whatever. Potayto, potahto."

"I didn't expect to see you two here," I said, recognizing Shigeru Kida after a few moments.

Kida then told me, "Please, have a seat."

"Why not?" Suzumiya asked, as I sat.

"Nothing..." I said, not sure what I had expected. "Anyway, funny coincidence, huh?"

"So, you're joining, of course?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure," I said.

Kida put down his book, and he at once struck me as a very professional man. Other than that, the glasses, and his inclination to wear suits, we seemed to have a lot in common.

"Have we met?" he asked.

"You remember?" I asked. "Yesterday? We met at my History class."

"Right," he said. "Sorry. I forget my manners at times."

"You saw our flyers?" Suzumiya asked me.

"Yeah," I answered, thinking how odd those looked.

She then asked me, "So, you have an unexplained phenomenon to share with us?"

"Oh..." I said. "Well, before we do that, I'm wondering if..."

Kida then said, "It's understandable you'd have doubts about our purposes."

"Yeah," I agreed. "I mean, I'd love to talk about everything, but I'd need some assurances."

"I understand," he said. "Let me just say first that you came to the right man. I understand you need secrecy, and I promise we won't breathe a word you don't want us to outside this room. You'll have to excuse my fiancee here. She's gets a little overly excited about the prospect of the strange and unusual."

"Your fiancee?" I asked, wondering who he meant.

"Yeah," Suzumiya said, apparently assuming I knew it was her. "Is that a problem?"

"No," I replied. "On the contrary, that's great. So, when is the date, or has that been set?"

"That's still in progress," he softly answered. "You know what that's like?"

"I guess not," I admitted. "I mean, I have been dating for a while, but..."

"Yes, I know," he said. "I've done some checking. I hope you don't mind, but when I remembered your name just now, it made me recollect a dossier I had drawn up on you."

"Oh?"

"Your current roommate is a woman named Yuki Nagato?"

"That's right."

"She transferred to our high school in the first year and joined the literature club. She showed a great interest in playing games. She also showed a remarkable aptitude for uncovering tricks that Haruhi attempted to play on her. I found her interesting, but I didn't have the opportunity to introduce myself. She's staying with you?"

This guy was well-informed, for being a little forgetful. I made a brief note to myself to be careful, dealing with this guy.

"Yeah," I said.

"Yes," he said, "that's right."

"So, you two already know about her?" I asked.

"We learned about her by reputation," he answered.

I then asked, "What made you want to start this club?"

He replied, "There was some dispute among the previous members over what to make the club. Once they had graduated, I was the only one who remained. This seemed an appropriate avenue, given Haruhi's interests."

"So," I asked, "now you have to track down a few more members?"

He answered, "We have no pressing need to add members, but it would help the club."

"Well," I said, "there's three of us, now."

"Four," he corrected me.

"Four?" I asked.

Suzumiya asked him, "You really think Koizumi will join this club?"

"I don't see why not," he answered.

She then said, "He keeps complaining that his studies get in the way."

"I'll have to speak with him," Kida softly noted to himself.

"So..." Suzumiya said, turning to me, "What brings you to our den of weirdness, Kyon?"

I sighed briefly, and answered, "Well... I believe I had a little trip through time."

"Time travel?" she asked.

"Yeah..." I replied. "Only, it didn't really seem like I changed anything. I think I may have just helped create a new world. Or maybe two."

"How did that happen?" she asked.

I answered, "There was this girl named Asahina. I don't remember her given name. This was back in the first year of high school. At first, she took us back in time about nine years. We then went forward about six years. In both cases, I ran into Miss Suzumiya."

"Interesting," Kida remarked. "How does it feel to time travel and return?"

I replied, "It seemed like a dream for a long time, but then Yuki told me it wasn't a dream."

"How would she know?" Suzumiya asked me.

"That's just the thing," I answered. "I don't know how, but it seems like she can remember previous worlds."

"Previous worlds?" she wondered.

"Alternate histories," Kida explained. "If it's possible to create new worlds with time travel, it's possible that our own world was created this way."

"Right," I said. "Yuki said that this was the fifth world."

Suzumiya then asked, "So, we've already had four previous worlds?"

Kida then added, "And this Asahina must come from one of those worlds. She helped you create a sixth?"

"Yeah," I answered. "That's the way I figure it."

Suzumiya shrugged and said, "It's not all that much, but what a strange thing to remember."

"Indeed," Kida agreed.

Suzumiya then asked me, "Does she remember details of our lives, or does she just remember general ideas?"

I replied, "She described the worlds as all very different, though she admitted that certain things seemed inevitable. She also mentioned something about a memory archive, and I'm not sure why but she keeps referring to a certain baseball game. She has a peculiar interest in Miss Suzumiya that I don't understand."

Suzumiya had seemed a little shocked when I mentioned the baseball game, and that made me wonder what significance that had.

Kida then said, "We need to meet over dinner, sometime."

"If it's okay," Suzumiya added, "I'd like to come over and check things out."

I answered, "I don't mind, but..."

Kida quickly explained, "Haruhi likes to borrow people's music."

That sounded disturbingly familiar.

Suzumiya looked at him with a scowl and said, "Shigeru worries about government spies, keeping track of our every move. It wouldn't occur to him to worry about me possibly flirting with other guys."

"Flirting..." he said, smirking for a moment. "That's a good one."

"It's okay," I said. "I'm sure Yuki will be there. No need to worry about spies or whatever."

Suzumiya then asked me, "What's a hobby you like?"

"Reading is nice," I replied.

"Oh..." she said. "I should have figured."

Kida then remarked, "Haruhi prefers digital media. It's nice to meet someone with an appreciation for actual media."

"Yeah," I said. "Well, I also watch a lot of TV."

"Oh?" he said. "That's too bad."

- x -

Suzumiya went with me to my apartment. On the way, she didn't talk much, though she did mention that she liked this college. She could have gone to a better one, but she just loved the location. I asked her about the occult and what interested her in it. She wasn't too keen on answering that, but she eventually mentioned how Kida was a bit of a religious fanatic, and she wanted to divert his attention away from all that in a bid to make him somewhat normal. I found this a worthy goal and promised to help her if she would promise to see through her own college aspirations, whatever those were.

She looked at me for a long moment and then enthusiastically agreed. She's kind of funny that way. It's weird, and I'm not sure I can really trust her, but there's something about her that makes me want to trust her. I'd hate to join a club that had a flake in charge, but I didn't really need to worry on that account. It also didn't escape my attention that Suzumiya is extremely beautiful. I let that thought dance around in my mind for a few moments, and then dismissed it.

I should point out that I have nothing against religion. At one time in my youth, I envisioned myself as a priest, and I hold nothing but the highest respect for our saintly monks. They have proven their worth to our civilization many times, and I believe we largely owe our survival to them. Even so, I can't really abide fanatics. They rub me the wrong way, somehow.

I gave Suzumiya a brief overview of my impression of Pope Gregory the first. I had always found the study of religious history to be fascinating, but I got the distinct impression that Suzumiya wasn't quite as interested. She seemed a little relieved when we arrived, and I entered.

"I'm back," I said, noticing Asakura sitting at the couch, watching TV.

"Welcome home," she said.

"I brought a guest," I added.

"Oh!" Asakura said, getting up. "Hey..."

"Whoa," Suzumiya said. "Small world."

"You two know each other?" I asked.

Suzumiya answered, "We were classmates in high school. She transferred in about halfway into the first year."

"There's a funny coincidence," I muttered.

"Hi," Asakura said. "I wish I could stay and chat, but..."

"That's okay," Suzumiya said. "I was just going to leave again, anyway."

"Oh?" said Asakura.

"So," Suzumiya then asked, "we'll get together on Saturday?"

"Sounds fine to me," I answered.

"Okay," she said. "I'll see you then." Suzumiya then left.

"Something wrong?" I asked Asakura. "You look a little down."

"I can't seem to find Shamisen," she said.

"You can't?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "I looked everywhere for him."

"Weird. He probably just wandered off for a while. He'll come back."

"I don't know. I should go home."

"Okay..."

- x -

Yuki likes to get to bed around ten, so it's a bit of a struggle to stay in sync with her. She keeps telling me not to bother, but I like the idea of sharing. She just looks at me funny, but it doesn't matter. I can't usually get to sleep before midnight.

That particular evening, I was thinking about sixth century European history, and reading up on that again, while Yuki was lying in bed. I think she had a lot on her mind, and she wasn't quite ready to sleep, just yet.

"You've signed up for that club?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

"And Shamisen is missing?"

"That's what Asakura said."

She looked at me, and I sighed. I felt bad about it, but I think Yuki had become even more attached to him than I was.

"Yeah," I said, "it was a mistake to give him to her."

She sat up and added, "My programming began to fail sooner than usual, this time. I should have avoided admitting that."

"Your programming?" I asked.

She then put on her glasses and picked up her cigarettes.

"What do you mean by that?" I then asked.

She lit up and explained, "I'm what you would term an alien."

"Okay," I said. "I thought we've already been over this."

She continued, "My superiors always forbid me from telling you, but you always reach that conclusion anyway."

I mentioned, "I told Miss Suzumiya about the previous worlds."

"Yes," Yuki said. "I think this is the crucial failure in the reasoning of my superiors."

"So," I asked, "what's the problem with just telling me to begin with?"

"We don't trust you," she smoothly replied.

"Okay."

"Your association with Haruhi Suzumiya makes you dangerous, and that presents a number of difficult potential challenges."

"Like?"

"For example, Haruhi Suzumiya has the ability to subconsciously manipulate absolute data. For you to make her aware of this would precipitate into a disaster."

I think I understood her use of the word "subconsciously," but the rest was a bit of a blur. It sounded to me like she was saying that Suzumiya is a bit of a deity. I wondered what Augustine would say about that, but then I realized that the answer to that would have to come from a previous volume on the fifth century.

"I find that hard to believe," I softly remarked.

Yuki admitted, "It is speculative, and you have proven apt in deflecting the issue. But if you were to seriously convince her of this reality, my projections have shown that the result is massive failure."

"I'll keep that in mind," I said.

She then said, "Also keep in mind that you have aligned yourself with humans who possess certain psychic abilities."

"Who?" I asked.

"Itsuki Koizumi is one," she replied. "He has the ability to find alternate spaces and to confront lifelike emanations of unknown origin."

Itsuki Koizumi? I took a moment to remember. I had briefly met him on the first day. He was also in my History class, but all I could remember was how absurdly popular he was. That's not an easy feat in a college class. Now, I remember. Koizumi is the one who had introduced me to Kida. Kida wasn't taking that class. He was a couple years ahead of us, so he had come in after class to have a word with Koizumi, and Koizumi had taken an interest in me because I was speaking to Suzumiya at the time.

"Is our living together a problem?" I asked, a little worried that she was slowly building up to that.

"No," she answered.

"Okay," I said, relieved about that.

"This isn't the first time," Yuki added.

"For a moment," I explained, "I thought you didn't trust me because I'm human."

"It presents a problem," she said, "but I would not term it a matter of trust."

"What kind of problem?" I asked.

"I always develop an emotional attachment," she softly answered.

I thought for a moment, then asked, "Is that what that 'erroneous data' was that you kept going on about?"

"It takes time," she said, "but when I encounter deterioration, I become more self aware."

"Deterioration?" I asked, wondering if she would ever get back around to explaining programming.

She replied, "When I adhere to affection, there is always serious degeneration. When the interaction is mutual, I degenerate into chaotic patterns and weakened self-preservation. I start to neglect observations and rely more on internal data."

Yep. Sounds about right. "You make that sound like a bad thing," I complained.

She then added, "Degeneration does give the impression of a less difficult, more comforting perception of one's surroundings. Ryoko Asakura, for example, always degenerates quickly in her circumstances. This time will prove to be far more rapid than in previous instances."

"I suppose that's my fault," I added.

"It is," she smoothly agreed. "I had hoped to avoid it, but there is always conflict between her and Haruhi Suzumiya."

"Is there conflict between us?" I asked, hoping to steer this conversation back where it belonged.

"Yes," she answered, "but only where it cannot be avoided."

I then said, "I suppose that's mainly because of your superiors."

She told me, "It's mainly because of your nature, and because you are human. I cannot accurately assess your data, and your mortality always results in my failure to preserve the integrity of this interface."

"Emotional attachments drag you down?"

"That can be surmounted. The difficulty is that I inevitably succumb to auditory schizophrenia and involuntary dissociative episodes. It impedes my data collection abilities to the extent that I lose focus on my primary purposes."

"Sorry."

I took her glasses and put them on myself, on a spur of the moment. To my surprise, I couldn't see any difference.

"You don't really need glasses, do you?" I asked.

"They are superfluous," she said.

"What do you think?" I asked. "Do I look more distinguished?"

"They make you appear villainous," she answered.

"Yeah," I said, "those cigarettes aren't helping you, either."

- x -

Somehow, just being near Yuki makes her want to speak to me, and she eventually realized that. She then sent me out of the bedroom. So much for sharing. I'm sure she'll come around. She probably just isn't used to the idea.

It did help me read, and for a while I sat at the table reading. Eventually, I looked up, and I was startled to see a strange bluish figure standing nearby.

Once I calmed down, I said, "Hello. I take it you're a lifelike emanation of unknown origin?"

I started to get up, but the creature motioned in a way with its arms that seemed to tell me to stay seated.

"Oh, okay," I said. "I don't suppose you can just talk?"

"Talk?" it responded.

It took me a moment, but I then realized that I wasn't seeing it move its mouth or anything. In fact, I don't think I heard it speaking. I don't even recall it using words, per se.

"Oh boy," I told myself. "I must be dreaming."

"If you are," it said, "then please stay asleep."

"Why?" I asked.

It replied, "Because what would happen to me if you awoke?"

That made a weird kind of sense. I then thought back to something Yuki had just told me. "Aren't you worried about Koizumi showing up?"

"Should I be?" it asked.

I answered, "I was told that he confronts creatures like you."

It tilted its head, as if trying to contemplate all that.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Who are you?" it asked right back.

"I guess I had that coming," I softly admitted. "Okay. I am being a little rude, here."

"I know who you are," it said.

"You do?" I asked, thinking this creature was wildly contradictory.

"You told me that you were Mephistopheles," it answered.

"Huh?" I said, then remembered. "Oh..."

It then added, "You also told me that you were John Smith, so I'm not sure which memory to believe."

"Yeah," I said, "those were both lies. I can't remember the John Smith one, though."

"As far as I can tell," it said, "I am the embodiment of love and peacefulness."

"How do you figure that?" I asked.

"Well..." it said, holding up an arm, "...I'm not exactly as you are, flesh and bone. I have only good memories of when things go as they should, and I can't remember ever being confronted by a Koizumi. I assume that name is supposed to mean something to me."

"You sure you can't remember bad things?" I asked.

"Hmm..." it said. "I do remember you..."

So, I'm the one who it thinks of when it recalls bad memories?

It then said, "My memories of you are mostly a blur. It occurs to me now that you were mainly deceiving me in one way or the other. I remember sitting all alone for a long time, thinking how much I hated you and wondering how I could continue on. You would then appear to me in a mysterious way and tell me that I was wrong about the afterlife. The moment I'd begin doubting your existence, though, you would vanish and leave me alone again."

It then hit me. This was the work of Suzumiya's subconscious. Somehow, she could remember everything, even previous worlds. This figure was like the living form of that memory, albeit not what I would really call "living."

"Okay," I said, "this is getting a little spooky."

"Just now?" it asked.

Yuki then appeared and walked in her odd way to within reach of me.

"Are you...?" she asked.

"Do you remember Yuki Nagato?" I asked the figure.

It took a moment and then complained, "This one... Why is this one always in my way?"

"So, you do remember her?" I asked.

"She can understand me, can't she?" it asked.

I asked Yuki, "Can't you hear her?"

"Her?" she asked. "Do you mean the emanation?"

"Yeah," I said. Somehow, the voice had seemed feminine, but I can't really think of it that way, in retrospect.

"You appear to have some unique ability," Yuki concluded.

"Interesting," I said.

"She's always watching me," the figure complained. "Why does she do that?"

"It's her job," I replied. "Don't take it personally."

"Oh, okay," it said.

"She watches me, too," I added. "So, it isn't just about you."

"I just assumed..." it started.

"Yeah, I know."

"Are you deceiving me again?"

"No. Why would I do that?"

"Well..."

Yuki asked me, "Could you ask about Ryoko Asakura?"

The figure looked upset with that name.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," I said.

"Why not?" Yuki asked.

I replied, "I'm guessing there isn't much love and peacefulness in those memories."

"There are memories?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "The weird thing is why Koizumi hasn't appeared."

A moment later, I saw a large ball of red energy come flying into the room. Koizumi then emerged from it, looking very confused.

"There he is," I said. I then asked the figure, "Do you remember him, now?"

"Why is he...?" it asked.

"What on Earth?" Koizumi demanded, a little startled.

"Let's all stay calm," I told him. "Let's not forget where we are."

"Okay," he answered. "If you insist."

"Honestly," it said. "I have no memory of this person."

"You sure?" I asked. "Think hard."

"Well..." it then said. "He does seem a little familiar."

"Oh?" I asked. "That's good. What do you remember?"

"He's always smiling," it replied. "It's unsettling, don't you think?"

I chuckled and said, "I guess that would be. I only just met him the other day, myself."

The figure continued, "He seems to have some weird hold over me, but then I remember Shamisen told me about that. Koizumi is playing some kind of mind game with me."

"Shamisen?" I asked.

"Yeah," it answered. "The cat."

"He speaks to you?" I asked, very baffled.

"Of course," it replied. "Why not? Doesn't he speak to you?"

"No," I answered. "Why should he?"

"Well..." it started, but then it got interrupted by the front door.

Asakura entered, saying, "What's going on in here?"

The figure turned around, and it started trembling.

"Okay, hang on," I said. "Let's all calm down."

Asakura looked shocked for a few moments, then she ran out of the room again. The figure began to move toward her, but I exclaimed, "Whoa! Stop!" The figure stopped and looked at me, and I added, "That's enough."

"Why are you defending her?" it asked me. "She tried to take your life."

"She did?" I asked.

"Yes," it replied. "I remember it very clearly."

I sighed and said, "That might be true in some other world, but in this one she has done nothing to me."

"She isn't the same person?" it asked.

"Of course not," I said. "We may know things about each other, but we are all unique." I then asked Yuki, "Isn't that right?"

"Yes," she replied.

It then complained, "But you all seem so familiar."

"Yeah, well," I said. "That's where you're wrong. I never told you that I was John Smith. That was some other me. And I have no idea how you know about Mephistopheles. That hasn't happened yet, outside of my memory."

"But I do remember it," the figure insisted.

Koizumi looked very confused, and he seemed like he was itching to ask some questions.

"Yeah, but how?" I asked.

"I don't know," it answered.

I sighed again and said, "Maybe you should just go. Let's talk about this later, okay? It's almost midnight, and I think I should really go to bed, now."

"Okay," it said, relenting. It then turned around and promptly disappeared.

"Oh, wow," Koizumi said. "You told it to go and it went."

Yuki softly added, "I wish I had known about this ability you had before."

"Huh?" I asked. "Oh... You really can't speak to her?"

"No," she replied.

Koizumi then said, "Sorry I intruded. I can just let myself out."

"That's okay," I told him. "Feel free to hang around if you like. I'm just going to bed, anyway."

- x -

Yuki wasn't as averse to sharing the bed with me from that point on, and I like to think it's because she's a little afraid of the blue creature, but that's probably just my imagination. In any case, the world was starting to make a lot of weird sense, and it wasn't boring at all, though it probably would start to become boring. Or rather, it would have, except that I remembered that Miss Suzumiya had appeared just in time to rescue me from that.

That morning at school, I stopped by the vending machine to grab a Coke. I popped it open and began drinking it right there. About halfway through, I noticed Suzumiya had appeared.

"Hey," she said.

"Oh, hey," I greeted her back.

"You drink Coke?" she asked, a hint of a scowl on her face.

"I know," I said. "I didn't used to, but I kind of prefer it, now."

"I think I'll just have some tea with cream," she said. She then put in some coins and pressed a button. "I used to hate tea with cream, but Shigeru has really got me hooked on it."

"Oh?"

"Although... Last night around midnight, I had this sudden craving for plain old iced coffee. Isn't that weird?"

"Around midnight?"

"Yeah. I couldn't sleep, so I wandered around for a bit. I'm still getting used to living here."

Weird coincidence, there. I then remarked, "I know the feeling."

She then said, "It was at eleven-thirty, actually. I wandered around, and I eventually found myself at a convenience store. I didn't get back home until fifteen after midnight."

"Weird," I said.

"Yeah," she agreed. "I normally just go right to sleep and don't get up till around five."

"Early riser?" I asked.

"That's right," she answered. She then picked up her drink from the machine, and said, "Anyway..." She then gulped it down in one go. "Now, that's the way to drink tea with cream."

"Really?" I asked.

"Oh yeah!" she exclaimed. "What a rush! I'll see you later."

"Later," I said, as I watched her jog back down the hall. What a spaz.

- Fin

- x -

- Extra

- Living, breathing discipline

At the club room. Kyon enters, finding Yuki there, reading. Koizumi and Haruhi are also there.

Kyon: Oh! Hey, Yuki. You finally decided to join?

Haruhi: You're late, Kyon. Let's get started.

Kyon: Okay. Hey, where's Kida?

Haruhi: Shigeru? He's taking a break from the club for a while.

Kyon: Why did he do that?

Haruhi: He said he didn't want to get lectured again by you.

Kyon: Lectured? When did I do that?

Haruhi: You remember that whole discussion on the influence of Arians in Europe and Africa?

Kyon: Yeah?

Haruhi: Yeah.

Kyon: Oh. Well, I was just informing him of the recent discoveries. You know, if you're going to quote history, you really have to keep up. History is really a living, breathing discipline.

Haruhi: Speaking of discipline, it's about time you guys heard my lectures on mysteries of the world. Have a seat, Kyon. I think you'll enjoy it.

- x -

- Bad habits

Kyon and Yuki are standing near the vending machine. Kyon is drinking a Coke, while Yuki smokes. Haruhi approaches.

Kyon: Hey, Miss Suzumiya.

Haruhi: Hey.

Kyon: Tea with cream?

Haruhi: No, I thought I'd try something different. Coke, again?

Kyon: Yeah? What?

Haruhi: That stuff 'll make you fat.

Kyon: I don't drink that much.

Haruhi: The kind of sugar they use in it is especially unhealthy.

Kyon: Thanks, Mom.

Haruhi: I'm just telling you this for your own good.

Kyon: ...

Haruhi: What?

Kyon: I notice you didn't say anything to Yuki.

Haruhi: Yeah, well... She's a lost cause.

- x -

- About Hibiki

Proofreader: I created this character a while back in homage to the early rock/Motown/R&B sound that Ryoko Asakura likes. Hibiki is also a talented pianist and vocalist. Her first hit song was "Why don't you cry?" (which she produced in her third year in high school) and she was married a couple years after that. She got divorced about nine years after that and moved to Vancouver shortly after that. Asakura was always a huge fan of her work and had plans to create a partnership after Hibiki's move to Canada, but those plans always fall through at the last moment because of problems arising related to Suzumiya. Her brief encounter with Kyon in this one time plane made her a more vocal feminist, and she became notorious for having loud and furious break-ups with the men she liked. Thanks to Kyon, however, she creates three additional early albums (which gain her a cult following in Japan) and never actually moves to Canada. She keeps up with everything that happens to Kyon, finding quite a bit of inspiration from the unusual situations he keeps finding himself in.

Author: Hmm... Sounds familiar...

Proofreader: And, for what it's worth, she's a girl of average height and weight, who has somewhat masculine facial features and a tendency to keep her hair curly (she's very touchy about her hair). She strikes people as being nice and friendly, although people usually find out soon enough that she isn't altogether sociable. People who know her well tend to insult her behind her back, and she's aware of that, and she isn't happy about it. She tends to have oddly romantic fantasies about most of the men she likes and then complains openly when her fantasies don't quite match reality. She has excellent health and tends to do well at most physical activities, though she proves to be pretty lazy most of the time.

- x -

- About time travel

Author: I'm confused.

Proofreader: We've been over this.

Author: Remind me. How does this work again?

Proofreader: This is all straight out of canon. Lasting changes create an alternate temporal plane. In some cases, memories of those alternate planes transfer to the conscious mind. There are two special exceptions.

Author: Okay, what are those?

Proofreader: Time quakes and time tunnels.

Author: I've heard of a time quake, but what the heck is a time tunnel?

Proofreader: A time tunnel is when you have a paradox within one temporal plane.

Author: Like what?

Proofreader: For example, when Haruhi goes to both that other school and North High in Disappearance. That was due to a time tunnel created by Haruhi when Kyon called out to her from the darkness. Or like when Kyon triggered the program in Disappearance. It's basically how Disappearance resolves its conflicts.

Author: I don't understand how that's supposed to work.

Proofreader: Well, that's just the thing. I don't think Tanigawa-sensei really knew what he was writing when he came up with that device. It just somehow works. I came up with this term, because that makes it easy to imagine.

Author: How do you explain it?

Proofreader: I like to say Haruhi can create a time tunnel and leave it at that. She's Haruhi, so she can just do whatever she wants.

Author: Deux ex machina, then?

Proofreader: Right.

Author: Okay. Now that think about it, I have no idea what a time quake is.

Proofreader: That's obviously a disruption in the absolute temporal data stream.

Author: ...

Proofreader: Basically, a time quake disrupts all the previous temporal disruptions, rendering all the temporal planes inaccessible before that point in time. Except via a time tunnel, of course.

Author: Of course.

Proofreader: You understand, now?

Author: Not a bit.

- x -