Laying in the hospital bed with her eyes closed, Hana looks like she's one second away from blinking awake, ready to start a fight with Kagami, or scare some poor second year with a single glance.
She looks fine. Out of everything, that's the part that bothers Kuroko.
Kuroko stares, blank faced, at the opposite wall of the hospital room. It's dark blue. Hana has it to herself. After the game and the roar of the crowd, it's strange to be somewhere so still, so quiet. He can hear the buzz of the electric lamps, the shuffle of people outside, Hana's soft breathing. Kuroko's hand clenches on the armrests of his uncomfortable plastic chair.
A shift of cloth and Kuroko's head snaps up, heart in his throat -
Kagami jumps. He's sitting in an identical chair on the other side of Hana's bed. Kuroko and Kagami stare at each other.
Kagami raises an eyebrow. "You okay?"
Kuroko shifts, draws back into that place of stillness. He's waiting. "I am fine." He says. His mouth feels dry. He doesn't wait for Kagami's answer; the wall isn't interesting, but it's better than looking at Hana.
The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with her. They tested for hours, while the team waited outside and all they could come up with is: Exhaustion.
It's not exhaustion. Kuroko knows that, because he's seen Hana play the entire starting line into sweaty, tired messes. Her stamina is as monstrous as the rest of her, and one game - even against Aomine - would not put her into this... this state.
The door opens and Kuroko and Kagami look up. Kise walks in and throws himself next to Kuroko with an explosive sigh. Kuroko is abruptly thrown back into the stadium, and the way Kise launched over the balcony like gravity had no hold on him. This is the opposite; this is Kise pushed down by some invisible hand.
(When she fell, it doesn't look like she's asleep. Her dark eyes stare up at the ceiling, ignore the bright lights, the attempts to get her attention. She doesn't even blink. Her pupils don't track Kagami's hand. She looks worse than dead - she looks empty. The only sign of life is the way chest rises and falls.
Kuroko is the one who closes her eyes in the end. Her skin was almost hot to the touch; not the cold stone he half expected.
The coach calls the hospital. Kuroko looks up and meets Momoi's wide, terrified eyes.)
Kise melts into the chair next to Kuroko. Their shoulders brush and Kuroko stares harder at the wall, mouth a thin line.
Not the time.
"Well?" Kagami asks, impatient. His temper is short.
Kise rubs his eyes. "Well what?"
"What do you mean well what? What the fuck is wrong with her? Did the doctor say anything? Do they know? Is she going to be okay?"
Kise shrugs. He looks older today, more exhausted. Hana put him as her emergency contact. "They don't know anything." He says - and then nothing else.
There's something not quite right about his tone, something that creeps up in the back of Kuroko's mind, though he couldn't say what. It's like -
"Why the hell do you sound so unconcerned?" Kagami snaps.
It's like something clicks in Kuroko's head, because Kagami is right. Kise doesn't sound like someone who's sister collapsed in the middle of a crowd. He sounds tired and strained, but not - not worried. Not like he should be.
Kise glares at Kagami. "It's not like panicking will help any!"
Kagami stands up with a screech. "I'm not panicking! Something is wrong with Hana! Don't you care?"
Kise stands up himself, and Kuroko catches a glimpse of gold out of the corner of his eyes. His hands are fists. "Do you try to lecture me - Hana is my sister -"
"Fat lot of good that does her, with the way you and your little rainbow club treat her, like some sort of -"
"Oh my god, I can't control how the rest of the generation reacts to her!"
"Yeah, god forbid you ever be around to talk to her! Who cares if she's so closed off nobody would know if she died until she missed school!"
Kise hands closed into fists. "You don't know anything about us! You think I haven't tired to figure this out? Get some answers? It's always the same! There's nothing physically wrong with her, nobody knows anything, and Hanacchi isn't talking! What am I supposed to do?"
Kuroko finally looks at Kise. "The same?"
Kise freezes.
"The same as what, Kise-kun?"
There's a creak as Kagami leans forward. "This happened before? Do you know what's going on, Kise-kun?"
"...I shouldn't have said that." Kise says, shoulder scrunched up around his ears. "She wouldn't - "
"Wouldn't what? Want to share a single thing that goes on in her goddamn head?" Kagami scoffs. "I past caring about what Hana wants. Kise. What the fuck is wrong with her?"
Silence fills the room.
Hana does not move. Remains in the bed, softly breathing.
Kise gestures Kuroko forward and Kuroko goes. Kise's fingers wrap around Kuroko's wrist almost delicately. He pulls Kuroko down to sit next to him by Hana's bedside. "I have a theory."
"Oh?" Kuroko manages to say. Kise's fingers are a point of heat against his wrist. Two of them are resting on the heartbeat in Kuroko's wrist. Can Kise hear Kuroko's heart?
Surely he can. It's almost loud enough to drown out Kise's words.
"Do you know why Hana can see you all the time?" Kise asks.
Kuroko blinks. Kagami looks up, eyes narrowed. "Mashiro-san has many talents."
Everything in her life seems to be handed to her on a silver platter, waiting at her leisure for her to puck it out of the air.
He glances at Hana.
Or so he believed.
"Hanacchi was always paying attention, looking for the perfect shot. Photography is the only thing she really works at." Kise mimics bringing a camera up to his face with one hand. "It's not just limited to you."
It's everything.
Her reflexes are insane because she's not reacting. Somewhere, behind the lense of a camera Hana learned to pay attention to everything around her. Coupled with her innate talent, and it made someone who could keep up with Aomine in the middle of the zone. Kuroko has seen Hana snap from asleep to awake when a classmate brushed too close to her. He flips over his memories, and it's there. That hyper awareness. It never turns off. And if it never turns off -
The human brain isn't designed to work like that.
Kuoko feels cold. "Kise-kun thinks Mashiro-san is suffering from sensory overload."
It... fit. There was very little Hana hated more that crowds, or being around noisy people. There was little she liked more than being left alone. She stayed by herself, she lived by herself, she ate by herself, unless one of the team dragged her lunch with them.
"This isn't the first time this has happened." Kuroko says. Kise must have gotten the evidence for his theory from somewhere.
Kise's laugh sounds a little bitter, a little like a sob. "Not really. I remember the first time - we were seven years old and it was my birthday. I had a party. There were so many kids there, and I knew, I knew Hanacchi hated being around our classmates. I was selfish."
Kise looks at Kuroko and smiles. It's not a happy expression. "She was fine. Stayed the whole time. It was after the party. She disappeared and I found her in my room, under my bed. She was so still, I thought she was dead at first. It was the scariest thing I've ever seen."
Kuroko's feet take him a step forward before he realizes. His hand is halfway lifted to do - something. He doesn't know. He swallows and forces it down to his side.
Now is not the time.
Kise looks back at Hana and sighs. "We took her to the hospital. The best doctors in the world were called, and they all said the same thing: there's nothing wrong with her. She's just... gone. Empty. It only took her a day to wake up, so the doctors just put it down to not sleeping well. Too excited for the party, they said." His tone made it clear how much he believed that, and Kuroko didn't blame him. Hana did not get excited over things.
"She never tells me anything." And Kise sounds resigned, not bitter. "But it's happened three times more that I know of. The last time was in the second year at Teiko, right before she started dating Akashicci. That was a bad one. She didn't move or eat or drink for nearly two weeks."
"I remember." Kuroko says. Hana generated gossip even when she wasn't there, and her long absence was commented on. He heard countless theories - Hana was in America, Hana was dealing with the Yakuza, Hana finally snapped and got in a fight bad enough to land her in police custody.
None of the rumors are quite as bad as the truth.
Hana wasn't there because she shut herself down.
"What can we do?" Kagami asks.
Kise sighs. "Nothing. There's nothing anyone can do. It's like Hanacchi doesn't even realize there's a problem. She'll just look at you like you're crazy if you try to bring it up."
"Bullshit." Kagami's expression is tight. "We're her team, there has to be something." He glances at Kuroko. "Coach could order her to do… something."
Kuroko frowns. "Kagami-kun."
"Oh yes, please tell me how you plan to get Hanacchi to do what you want. In fact, call me before you do. I'll bring the popcorn." Kise drawls.
"Kise-kun." Kuroko says. "That is uncalled for." Though, he can't say he disagrees.
"Sorry, Kurokocchi." Kise says, not sounding sorry at all.
Kagami deflates. He looks at Hana and runs a hand through his hair. "You're such a pain in the ass." He says, or Kuroko thinks he does, because Kagami's slipped back into English.
"Kise-kun, is there really nothing that we can do to prevent things like this?" Kuroko asks. Something in the back of his mind feels itchy. It's like Kuroko is standing on the court in Teikou white again, watching Aomine walk away.
Kuroko doesn't want to lose another light.
No matter how irritating he finds Hana to be.
"Playing Aomine on that level isn't easy." Kise says with the experience of one who knows what he's talking about. "It takes a lot of focus." Kise looks away, looks at Hana. Kuroko can see the moment the anger drains out of him.
Kuroko is abruptly glad that Aomine's captain took him and Momoi away a few hours in. He doubts Aomine would handle the news that he likely had something to do with Hana's state. Aomine plays at being heartless, but he cares about his friends more than anyone.
Kise smooths the hair back from her face. He looks so tired.
Kuroko rubs his chest.
Not. The. Time.
"So, what can we do?" Kagami asks.
Kise's smile is bitter. "Nothing. There's not a thing you can do to wake her up. Believe me, I've tried."
"Seriously?"
Kise presses his head to Kuroko's shoulder. Kuroko's heart sinks.
It's answer enough.
Kuroko hesitates, but lets him. Kagami settles back into the chair.
They settle in to wait.
Hana doesn't wake that night. It becomes too late to stay, visiting hours are over. Kise, who's put down as family, waves them out the door without looking. One last glance, and Kuroko leaves him to it. Sometimes it's better to be alone.
"Come on." Kagami hooks an arm around Kuroko's shoulders, tugs him away from the door. "Let's get some Maji burger. My treat."
Kuroko lets Kagami drag him out to eat. It's more of a tradition by this point. The two of them always find themselves pushed together. Kuroko feels oddly unbalanced without Hana there to silently judge them for eating. Garbage, she always says.
Kagami must feel the same way, because he only orders fifteen burgers instead of thirty.
Kuroko picks at the vanilla shake and Maji burger Kagami forces on him. He's not hungry, even after the game today.
Kagami plows through five burgers before he speaks. "So," he says, mouth still full, "You gonna tell me what the hell is bothering you? Besides the obvious."
Kuroko starts and looks up from his shake. "Kagami-kun?"
His eyebrows draw down. "You've been weird this whole time. what the hell is wrong with you?"
"One of our teammates collapsed in front of us, Kagami-kun. Of course I am unsettled."
Kagami sighs. "I said beyond the obvious, Kuroko. You don't like Hana."
Kuroko finds he can't look Kagami in the eye, staring down without his milkshake like it held the answers of the universe. A thick tension spreads out through the table, putting their own little corner of the restraint into an almost unbreakable quiet.
How is it that this team is so good at reading Kuroko?
He puts effort into being unreadable, and they all seem to blow right through it. Coach, Captain Hyuuga, the upperclassmen, Kagami.
Hana.
But then, that's nothing new. She's always been good at reading Kuroko. Seeing him, seeing through him.
Kuroko turns the Maji burger over in his hands. "Kagami-kun is unclear."
A hand reaches into Kuroko's view, takes the burger and unwraps it, then puts it back in his hands. "Eat, Kuroko. And you damn well know what I'm talking about."
"I am not hungry."
"I don't care, dude. You need to eat - for all I know that vanilla shake is the only thing you'll have before getting home."
Kuroko doesn't twitch, but it's close. Kagami has a remarkable intuition. He glances up and meets Kagami's eyes. There's no give in them. Kuroko has no doubt that he'll sit there until Kuroko eats the whole burger.
Reluctantly, Kuroko takes a bite. It tastes like sawdust, but Kagami gives him an approving nod.
"Also, don't think I didn't notice you dodging the question again." Kagami starts back in on his own food. "What the hell is your problem with Hana?"
Kuroko pauses.
"Normally, I wouldn't give a fuck. So long as the two of you play together like always, your relationship is your own business." He points at Kuroko with his burger. "The two of you are so goddamn weird about each other it's getting stupid. You read each other's minds but you also act like strangers who don't like each other."
Kuroko focuses back on his food. He's halfway through it and already he feels slightly nauseated. "Mashiro-san and I simply do not get along."
Kagami snorts. "Bullshit. Whenever you two team up to give me a hard time, you get along just fine."
Kuroko says nothing.
They sit in the quiet for long enough that Kuroko half hopes that Kagami will drop the subject, because the thing is - he doesn't know how to put it into words.
Hana could have saved them. The Generation of Miracles fell apart and Hana could have kept them together, if only she tired. She could have been the rival that Aomine so desperately needed, the partner that Kise wanted, the friend that pushed Midorima to interact with the rest of them more, motivation for Murasakibara.
Akashi's equal.
He thinks about telling Kagami about that moment in the hallway at Teiko, anger turning his head cold, his words colder. Thinks about the way nothing seemed to touch her. Hana, above him and looking down.
Just like always.
Before Teikou , before the last game, before generation fell apart, Kuroko considered Kise little more than an annoyance. His gold hair and eyes shine, but they're always... cold when they look at Kuroko.
He knows the question in them.
What is someone like you doing on a team like this?
It was familiar enough that it didn't even bother Kuroko anymore. The rest of the team thought it too, and so did the rest of the first string. Everyone except Aomine, who never once doubted Kuroko's ability and Akashi, because he didn't do anything as mundane as doubting himself.
Like Kuroko didn't put everything he had into practice. He knows that he's no Aomine, but seeing Kise do things in hours that would take Kuroko weeks is difficult.
So he stops watching. Focused back onto practice, onto disappearing for good.
Kise's attitude changes sometimes after the first game he starts in. It's a shock to go from 'disdainful popular part time model' to 'overgrown Labrador who loves you'.
Kise is proud and a little cold, but he never hold back from what he wants.
It's as admirable as it is annoying.
He clings. He whines. He brings food and offerings with an invisible tail wagging behind him.
Kuroko remembers the first time he notices Kise. It comes late, after he decides he likes Kuroko.
It's dark outside, and Kise is waiting at the front door. The rest of the first string is gone. Even Aomine headed out an hour before. Kuroko stays behind, because there's a restless energy inside his chest he can't shake. He needs to move. Basketball drills are more like meditation by this point.
It's winter, but Kise stands in the open door. The night is black outside. Kuroko remembers just standing there, in between sets, looking at Kise. His hair is bright against the night, his back to Kuroko. His shoulders are relaxed, and there's something about the breadth of his shoulders that keeps drawing Kuroko's attention. His breath rises out into the night in pale clouds.
Kise is beautiful, and it's something that projects off him, a sort of grace that one can see, even when Kise is facing away. It's like looking at a painting. Some sort of picture to another world.
Kuroko's best subject is literature, but he can't think of any poem that describes this sort of beauty.
Oh dear, Kuroko thinks.
It's not even a surprise. He know gender has very little impact on his preferences.
His thoughts are broken by the sound of footsteps, almost inaudible. He turns around and finds a dark haired girl. standing behind him with her camera raised.
Click.
The flash goes off.
The camera lowers and Ryugawa Hanako meets Kuroko's eyes for the first time - and there's nothing in them.
Kuroko shrinks back despite himself.
When Kuroko is too tired to pay attention in class, he likes to practice going unnoticed in crowded areas, see how close he can get to people's conversations without them noticing. Aomine calls him a nosy gossip but . It's how he first hears about Hana.
Hanako Ryugawa is brilliant. Hanako Ryugawa is talented. Hanako Ryugawa has a famous lawyer mother and more money than god. Hanako Ryugawa is a stuck up asshole. Hanako Ryugawa blackmails girls who get too close to her model boyfriend, that heartless bitch. Poor Boyfriend-kun, trapped in her clutches, if only someone could save him from his controlling, scary girlfriend, Boyfriend-kun could finally be happy with his true love.
No one ever mentioned who the boyfriend's true love was.
Kuroko knows who Hanako Ryugawa is. By the end of the first week, everyone knows who she is. It's almost alarming how fast word about her spreads. Every other person has a story, each more outrageous than the last.
Outside the rumors, Kuroko remembers finding her… underwhelming. She seemed just... normal, whenever she spoke with Akashi or Nijimura. She doesn't speak to the rest of the team much. Her face was plain, and Kuroko doesn't think he's ever seen her look up from her camera.
He gets it now.
Her eyes are bottomless and uncaring. Lightless. She looks like she's considering how best to disappear him. She looks at Kuroko like she's not seeing him - or like she's seeing down to his soul and it doesn't impress her.
She stands there, and the hair on the back of Kuroko's neck stands up. Hana takes her dark eyes away from him after one long moment. Looks beyond him. "Kise." She says. Her voice is deep for such a small girl, the tone is flat and even.
Kise turns and his face lights up. "Hanacchi!" He says, looking like he swallowed a stage light, like everything in him is focused on this girl. He bounds across the room, barrels into her without stopping. She doesn't look strong, but she doesn't even budge.
"Man, I was waiting forever! You own me dinner." Kise pokes her.
She tilts her head. "You didn't have to wait."
"Yeah I did! It's dark out, I can't let a pretty girl walk home by herself." Kise says it like it's some sort of inside joke.
Kuroko gets it, in the future - Hana, needing protection. It's a hilarious thought.
In the moment, Kuroko's heart drops.
Model boyfriend.
Hana doesn't react. Her eyes wander the gym, show no surprise when they land on Kuroko. He sees himself mirrored in those eyes. Noted and dismissed.
She nudges a basketball Kuroko left on the ground, flips it up into the air. She catches it on one foot like it's a soccer ball, and Kise laughs.
"Wrong way, Hanacchi!"
The girl rolls her eyes and kicks the ball up. Kuroko watches it arc through the air.
Click.
It goes through the hoop without touching the net.
Kuroko looks back at Hana, but she's fiddling with her camera.
"A good shot." She says after a moment.
Kise laughs again, and puts his arm around her shoulders. "You're such a show off."
She rolls her eyes. It's the most emotion Kuroko has ever seen on her face.
The two of them leave without looking back. Kuroko stands there, forgotten. The basketball rolls to a slow stop beside his foot.
Kruoko picks it up and shoots.
The ball falls short, just like always.
The door is still open, but it's not the wind making him feel cold.
It's been two days, but Hana is still out cold.
The third time Kuroko trips over his own feet, Coach Aida pulls him away from practice.
"Kuroko-kun, you've been off." She says.
Kuroko finds that he can't meet her eyes, so he stares down at the floor instead. His head feels to heavy for his neck. Unbalanced. Kagami's question still rings in his ears. "I did not sleep much. I am sorry. I will pay more attention from now on."
She sighs. "No, that's not what I meant. Look - I know you're worried about Hana. That's fine. I can tell you're not up to practice today and the game left everyone tired. It's alright. I want you to take a break from practice today."
He looks up sharply. "Coach, I am perfectly -"
She holds up her hand, cutting him off surely as a knife. "This is not a negotiation. You're not in the right frame of mind for solo or team training. Take the day off. This is an order from your coach."
Kuroko swallows down the nausea and looks down. He does not want to be left behind again, but he knows from the look on her face that she will not budge on this.
After a long moment, Kuroko nods stiffly.
She gives him a small smile, claps him on the shoulder. "It's fine Kuroko. Everyone has off days."
Kuroko thinks of dark hair, dark eyes.
Not everyone.
Then he thinks of those same dark eyes, open and staring, sightless, and feels sick.
He ends up at Hana's hospital before he thinks about it. His feet lead him through train connection and busy Tokyo streets without issue. He stares up at he building, looming over him like Murasakibara in a temper, but somehow twice as menacing. Kuroko, more than anything wants to be anywhere else.
What the hell is your problem with her?
Kuroko adjusts his bag and heads into the hospital. The same nurse is on duty as yesterday. It only takes him five minutes to get her attention, and confirm that Hana has not been moved. He could have just walked in, but that would be very rude.
The door is there. Of course it is. Before Kuroko can open the door he hears something that makes him freeze.
Voices, coming from inside Hana's room. A man and a woman.
He shifts in place. It's too quiet to make out much, but he knows that voice doesn't belong to Kise. Who on earth would want to visit Hana? The coach let the school know about Hana's collapse, but none of them could get into her phone to let her parents number.
Kuroko stares at the handle of the door, finds that he can't picture Hana having parents. Like she sprung fully formed from the sea, like some ancient god of war in form of a average Japanese girl. Hana doesn't belong with anyone except Kise and maybe Akashi, in Kuroko's head.
Should he go in?
The door slides open before he can decide. Expensive leather shoes.
Heart in his throat, Kuroko glances up at the figure in the door. His eyes go wide.
"Nijimura-sempai?" He asks.
"Kuroko?" Nijimura looks as surprised as Kuroko feels.
Hana looks much the same as yesterday. Kuroko doesn't blink until he sees her chest rise and fall again. It seems to take longer with each moment. Kuroko hopes he's only imaging it. He sits down on the far side of the room, across from Nijimura.
"Been a while Kuroko." Nijimura, unlike Hana, has changed since he graduated. He looks older - he's wearing an expensive, perfectly tailored shirt and dress pants with creases sharp enough to cut. There's an equally pressed suit coat handing over the arm of his chair.
"Why are you here, Nijimura-san?" Kuroko asks.
He shrugs. He looks tired. "Me and Hana are friends. Where else would I be?"
Friends? Since when?
"Are you from Hana-chan's school?" A soft, feminine voice asks.
Kuroko jumps, jerks towards the other side of the room. . It's a young woman wearing a very soft looking sweater. She's got dark hair and large intelligent eyes. Pretty - not on Kise's level, but so very few were.
Kuroko... doesn't recognize her. "...Yes. Kuroko Tetsuya. I am a member of Hana's team."
The woman offers him a small smile. It softens her whole face, but it doesn't ease the tension behind her eyes. "Karou. I am Hana-chan's girlfriend. It's a pleasure, Kuroko-san."
It's like something grinding against the inside of his skull. Nijimura is less of a surprise to see here than this woman Kuroko doesn't know. Like Hana existing outside of Teiko, outside of the sphere of influence of the Generation of Miracles is somehow off.
Did Hana mention having a girlfriend? She might have. Kuroko has been distracted by the match coming up.
Hana was either with them or alone. The idea of Hana as a person, not some sort of entity of boredom and talent makes his head hurt. He feels like he's on the edge of a cliff, staring down at something unpleasant.
"...Yes. A pleasure as well." He says.
Kuroko glances at Hana again, but she's still motionless. His mouth pulls down into a frown. He wants - he wants her to wake up, to roll her eyes at him and be rude and irritating.
"Kuroko? What's wrong?" Nijimura asks.
"Mashiro-san isn't perfect," Kuroko blurts without thinking about it.
Kuroko has a split second to register what he says before his ears go hot, because that is a very stupid statement. Of course she was not. In fact, Kuroko had never met anyone with a less perfect personality, Murasakibara and Haizaki included.
Nijimura tilts his head. "You wanna explain that a little more?"
Kuroko ducks his head, but it doesn't help with the heat in his ears. Two pairs of eyes watch him. Neither of them speak further, and he wishes they would. Nijimura being here throws him off. He feels like he's twelve again, trying out for the team. Nijimura is easy to admire.
"After you left, we... we fell apart. It took a while. Akashi tried to hold us together, but it was too much." Finally, Kuroko admits, head still bowed.
Nijimura says nothing. Just waits.
Kuroko closes his eyes. "She did nothing while we fell apart." Kuroko says, voice low. "She just... watched. It wasn't her problem and she was right." Kuroko clasped his hands together in his lap. "I had no right to expect her to save us. She's just a person. She wasn't even on the team."
Kuroko finds himself spilling the whole story. Words fall out of his mouth one at a time, heavy as years at Teikou, watching Hana have what he wanted with so little effort, so much apathy was difficult. Kuroko tore himself to pieces for his place, staggered under the weight of the generation's indifference. He watched her walk freely past. How much he despised her for her easy life.
He was one of them, and they were important to him. She could have been one of them and denied it.
She didn't want it and Kuroko blamed her for it, because it was easier than blaming himself.d
His team could be so very, very cruel. How many times had their opponents walked away with dead eyes? How many of those challengers did he see again?
Not many.
New faces every tournament but only in the teams that Teiko took apart. Kuroko knew what they were doing, but he never spoke out. Too afraid that Akashi with his gold eye would kick him from the team. He stayed, even when he knew it was wrong.
All Kuroko ever wanted was to play. So he looked away. Said nothing, until it got too late and they stopped listening to him.
There is blame enough to spread around - but none of it belongs with Hana.
"I asked her to help me." Kuroko says. Asked her to join the team. He used Kise to push her into it, because he knew she loved him. "I didn't help her with any of it. She ended up like this because I kept pushing her. Because I was... jealous."
Kuroko's ignored his own faults for long enough. A shadow is supposed to sport it's light. Kuroko didn't. He never treated her like his light - so focused on the generation that he was willing to use her talent to get to them.
He promised Kise he'd take care of her.
"I messed up." Kuroko says.
The room is quiet. Kuroko doesn't look up. He doesn't want to see the looks on their faces.
Karou sighs. "Oh, Hana-chan."
"Yeah." Nijimura sounds tired. "Kuroko."
Kuroko flinches.
Nijimura gives him a serious look. "I'm not saying what you did was right. It was pretty screwed up." He sighs. "I'm not saying you were right, but I get it. You feel bad?"
Kuroko gives the slightest nod.
Nijimura give him a small smile. "You think I never went through this? It's hard to see Hana getting everything you want. Jealousy makes all of us stupid. When she wakes up, just apologize." He glances at Hana. "I can't tell you what'll happen, but one thing I know? Hana doesn't hold grudges."
Kuroko rubs the sting out of his eyes. "Will that work?"
He shrugs. "I don't know. It's worth a try."
Kuroko took a deep breath and nodded. He'd been stupid long enough. When Hana woke up, he'd apologize.
The three of them sat in the hospital room, listening to the machines monitoring Hana's heart.
Hana is bright light, brighter than even Aomine. Kuroko looks at her and knows he has been unworthy of being called her shadow.
He will do better.
He has to.
it's done, i'm done, we're good
this chapter was a monster to edit and that's why it's late! took me like three hours to write and about ten to edit . it may not be perfect but it's done, and that's all i can ask for at the moment
welp, there it is. how did you like Kuroko pov? Did it seem in character?