A/N: For those of you who have been wanting for some Edward action here it is. Woo Hoo!
Bear hugs from Emmett to my awesome editing team…halojones, bittenev, and Tracey.
Links to pics of Jacob's dogs can be found on my profile. :)
Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just made up this story and used her characters for their star power.
…and so the story continues…
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Ch. 24 Boys Just Want to Have Fun
The Bachelor Party Edward Style Part I
EPOV (Memory)
I woke nearly blinded by light streaming through sheer curtains covering the window. The small office off the living room had been my bedroom for the last five months.
As soon as we returned from our trip to Vegas, I immediately moved out of the room I shared with Jasper so that Alice could move in with her now husband. The room instantly lost its manly charm after Alice got her hands on it. It was almost unrecognizable from the room I had once lived in. But Jasper didn't seem to mind. He emerged from their room every morning smiling like he'd just struck gold.
The uncharacteristically bright and sunny day was a match for my mood. In one week Bella will be all mine in everyway. I would be waking up with her wrapped in my arms every morning, and then it would be me who came down stairs every morning smiling like the happiest man on earth.
Grinning like a fool I stretched, preparing myself for the fun filled day ahead of me. That grin was swiftly wiped away when my body was slammed into the mattress by what felt like a wrecking ball.
"Emmett, you jackass. Get the heck off of me," I hissed, his weight making it very hard for me to breath. I was unable to move because his massive form had my arms pinned to the bed. Using my only means of defense, I bit down hard on his shoulder.
"What the hell, Edward? What are you, a vampire now? Get your lazy butt out of bed. You know if you're not in the shower in the next ten minutes there's not going to be any hot water left. We're meeting dad and Charlie at the Diner at eleven for some grub. We also have a one o'clock reservation at Butch's Paintball Park. Before we can do any of that, we have to make a quick run to the sporting goods store for more pellets and new guard to protect Rose's prize possession," he said grabbing his junk smirking as he spouted off the events of our day of fun.
I rolled my eyes. It never failed that discussions of his manhood always involved Rose and always went straight to the gutter.
"Plus, we have to stop at the grocery store to pick up whatever we're going to want to chow on later tonight. Now, get moving. Don't think we won't leave your butt behind if you're not in the jeep by nine o'clock sharp," he informed me, punching me in the shoulder as he released me from the shackle of his enormous body.
"Yes sir, Commander Emmett, sir," I saluted him as I sprung from my bed, eager for my day to begin. The two idiots and Ben didn't have to worry about me. I had no doubt I'd be in the car long before any of them; well, that was if my nymph didn't get her hands on me first.
I quickly showered, not wanting to hog all the hot water. I threw on an old pair of jeans and started pulling my shirt over my head when I heard Alice's tinkling voice. "Edward…Edward, your presence has been requested in the princess' room," she smiled radiantly from the doorway. "I have granted her five minutes with you and not a second longer. Understand me dear cousin? Not a second longer."
I nodded, grabbing my shoes and socks. I took the stairs up to Bella's room two at a time. While I wanted as much time with her as possible, I also didn't want to get left behind on the adventure that Emmett and Jasper planned entirely for me.
Taking our age and personalities, into account, our friends had designed my Bachelor and Bella's Bachelorette parties to suit our needs and desires. After brunch with the guys and the dads, we were all going paint balling, which had recently become one of my favorite past times.
Once we were done there and clean of the paint and grim, Emmett was dragging us all too some new buffet for dinner. What was if with my brother and buffets? He was obviously a glutton for punishment. We planned to finish off the day with an evening at the pool hall. It is going to be a day full of competition and food, definitely a man's idea of a good time.
Seeing Bella sitting in her holey oversize t-shirt she insisted on sleeping in, much to Alice's dismay, with her hair stacked like hay on top of her head, chowing on an a plate of biscuits, eggs and bacon, made my heart swell with joy. It didn't matter to me what she wore or how her hair was styled, she would always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me. In one short week, I would be able to wake up to this every morning for the rest of my life.
"Hey, Beautiful," I said striding across the room placing a gentle kiss on her soft cheek. "Ready for your big day?"
She looked up from her food giving the smile that always melted my heart. She quickly set the tray to the side and threw back the blanket, patting the bed next to her. Without hesitation I quickly obliged, diving under the covers with her, wrapping her in my embrace.
"I think if I'm going to make it through this day, I'm definitely going to need a much better kiss than that," she purred into my neck.
I knew before I came in here this might be a mistake. Making Emmett's deadline may be a problem now. I twined my fingers in her lush mahogany hair and pulled her mouth to mine. Almost instantly our tongues became tangled eliciting a moan from her causing the rest of my body to react.
If this glorious kiss lasted much longer I was surely going to lose control and there would be no way I would ever leave her bed today. Seven days, only seven more days. I had to keep reminding myself.
Her little moans and sighs are going to be my undoing. My hand had a mind of its own and grasped her leg. Hitching it over my hip. No sooner did my hand set off on its journey up her thigh towards her hip when I was yanked out from under her.
I looked to see Emmett's hand gripping my upper arm, hauling me out the door. "You'll get plenty of that next weekend little bro. Let's go before Alice catches the two of you and goes all Rambo on us," he chuckled.
I threw Bella an apologetic look over my shoulder. "Bye, Bella. I love you. Have fun today."
I had no doubt she'd have a good time today even though I knew that Rose and Alice would not be able to pass up this opportunity to torture her with sexual innuendos and what not, making her squirm in her seat at times. But all in all she would have fun.
However annoying Emmett might be, he meant well. Had he let me continue my exploration of Bella's dazzling form, there would have been no way he could have pried me off of her body. I was nearly about to burst from my ever increasing need for her. Besides that, what he said about Alice was true, and I didn't want to face the wrath of the pregnant pixie ever. Even knowing all this, I still wanted to strangle him.
He dragged me to the end of the hall and down the stairs before I could even blink. I had no idea if Bella had heard my farewell.
Ben had arrived sometime during my little rendezvous with Bella and was waiting with Jasper by the front door.
"Hey Ben," I greeted him as Emmett, still having a firm hold on my arm drug me passed them out the front door toward our awaiting chariot. He had his jeep detailed inside and out just for this occasion.
Emmett usually did all the work on his prized "babe mobile" himself with the assistance of his lovely wife. But Rose had been so busy over the past week with the preparations for Bella's party that she didn't have the time to play sexy carwash girl. He didn't see putting out all that effort if he wasn't going to be rewarded with the view of her in a string bikini and a pair of daisy dukes. Would the guy ever grow up?
I can just picture it now, Emmett with his cane and Rose with her walker scrubbing down their fire red golf cart in just the same fashion. I shook my head to get the image out of my head.
"So, Edward, you ready for your last day out with the guys as a free man?" Ben teased, nudging me in the arm as he climbed into the back of the jeep with me.
"Oh you tease me now, but you're next. I see the way that Angela looks at you. And now with all her closest friends bound to their men for life, don't think she won't be itching to do the same," I pointed out.
I knew from what I got from Bella that Ang had been dropping him subtle hints over the past few weeks. According to Bella it was only a matter of time before we sawa ring on Angela's finger too.
"No way. No how. Not that I don't plan to marry her one-day, but it will not be anytime soon. We're just not there yet," he said shaking his head.
"Right. You keep telling yourself that," Emmett eyed him from the review mirror. "She's got the wedding bug, and I can guarantee you she's not going to let up until she gets what she wants."
"Mark my words," Jasper added. "Come next summer you'll have your very own ball and chain to carrying around."
"You want a bet?" Ben asked. "Besides, when the time comes, I'll more than gladly carry my ball and chain around."
Let the games begin. There was no way Emmett and Jasper would ever pass up an opportunity to bet on anything, especially when the odds are stacked in their favor.
The betting banter went on for another ten minutes or so. Until Emmett decided it was time to mess with me about my up coming physical union with Bella. It had become nearly a daily occurrence since we'd decided to up the wedding date. It happened so often I was almost numb to it.
"So, Eddie," he chuckled, knowing how much that nickname irked me. I braced myself for what was coming. With Emmett you never knew what to expect. "You think you're ready? Let me rephrase that. Are you prepared to bang Bella like a screen door in a hurricane a week from tonight? Seriously, brother, after all this time you've spent waiting I just don't see how you're going to be able to restrain yourself. When Bella moseys her way into the room naked as a jay bird, you're going to pounce on her like she's a female dog in heat."
Jasper and Ben snorted. "Emmett, please, not today. Can I just have one day free from your relentless need to inform me of how Bella and I are going to "bang each other's brains out" on our wedding night? Plus, if I've told you this once I've told you a million times, I don't appreciate you referring to Bella as a female dog," I balled my hands into fists, breathing in and out knowing darn well that my little rant would never be enough to stop him or Jasper for that matter.
"Aww, come now little brother. It's all done in good fun. You know you love that blush I elicit from Bella when I let loose on you in front of her. I've seen the fiery heat that rages in your eyes for her in those moments," Emmett shot me a smug look.
"Okie, dokie my friends. Hmm… I think this calls for another one of my favorite lines. Edward I dedicate this to you and your Bride." Of course he paused first waiting for the anticipation to build within the car. Both he and Rose have a flare for the dramatics. Anyone could see they are a match made in Heaven. "As the hurricane said to the coconut, tree, hang onto your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!"
A thunderous roar of laughter echoed throughout the interior of the jeep. I have to admit that was very funny. "Emmett since when did you become such a poet and expert in the area of hurricanes," Ben chocked out.
"A poet I may not be, a weather man I am definitely not, but I sure do have a way with words. Just ask my Rosie. She can't seem to get enough of my dirty talk each and every night," Emmett grinned like the fool he is.
"Emmett, once again that's more information about you and my sister's bedroom behavior than I need to hear, or I want you sharing with others. When are you going to get it through that thick head of yours that Rosalie IS MY SISTER?" Jasper reached across the jeep, socking Emmett in the shoulder.
"Dude, driving here," Emmett chided, swerving the jeep back into the right hand lane. "Aw, Jazz, you know you love me. And if you kill me I can guarantee you that sister or not, Rose will beat the living day lights out of you."
"Whatever Emmett, enough already. Anyway, it's my turn to have my way with Edward," Jasper wagged he brow suggestively. The car once again erupted into a fit of hysterics in reaction to his sexual innuendo. It was obvious my plea for mercy had fallen on deaf ears. Why was it that whenever we were away from the girls we became a pack of immature apes? This is going to be a long day.
"A young couple were married and celebrated their first night together," he began. "Doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, All-Night-Long. Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He opens the door, exposing his body for the first time that glorious morning to his bride," he stopped, giving us all a moment to let the first part of the story sink in.
"Her eyes go up and down and at midway, they stop and stare and she asks shyly, "What's that?" pointing to a small part of his anatomy. He, also being shy, thinks for a minute and then says, "Well, Babe, that's what we had so much fun with last night." And she, in amazement, asks, "Is that all we have left?""
We had stopped at a red light during Japer's little story, and a car full of elderly ladies, most likely on their way to play Saturday morning bingo at the "Y", looked over with fear in their eyes. I could only guess they thought we were a car full of crazies who'd just escaped the loony bin just outside of town. I had to look away; the look on their faces was only making me laugh harder. My amusement was to be short lived.
"Oh, Edward," Emmett mimicked Alice's sing-song voice, "are you gonna let Bella eat-you-alive like that poor bloke in the story? Eat. You. Alive. Get it?" His voice boomed, followed by bellowing laughter.
I covered my ears as the octaves rose to an ear shattering level inside the jeep. Jasper, Emmett's "brother in arms", as they often referred to one another when they tag teamed me about my inexperience with the 'ladies', was laid over on the center console leaning his head on Emmett's shoulder, clutching his stomach, laughing just as hard as my brother. And Ben had nearly fallen out of his seat and would have had it not been for the seat belt.
We were going to be lucky not to crash into a tree. Emmett was having a hard time keeping the jeep on the road, as his body convulsed with hysterics.
I closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of nose. I was holding out hope that after next Saturday Bella and I would no longer be the butt of all the house's jokes due to our lack of sexual experience. I could not wait for us to burn the scarlet "Vs" she and I'd worn so proudly since confessing our love for one another.
I was going to show them. Bella and I are going to come back after our two week honeymoon with more experience than all of them put together. Neither one of us may be able to walk up right for a while, but it would all be worth never having to endure another one of their lame jokes again.
Imagining the good times we're going to have putting them all to shame, left me grinning like a lunatic.
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Arriving at Anthony's Bell Street Diner, my mouth began to water. I had a hankerin' for some fish tacos, and requested that we come here so that I could satiate my need. I tried them in many different eateries around the city, but Anthony's are hands down my favorite.
As we enteredthe restaurant I eyed my dad and Charlie sitting at a table across the room over looking the water. I was glad we'd decided to come here early. The place tended to get busy rather quickly for lunch on Saturdays, being at the heart of the Pier 66 shopping Mecca.
Carlisle and Charlie had driven over from Forks, leaving early this morning. They were staying over night in one of the area hotels. When I spoke to my dad about what time they'd be arriving this morning, it sounded like they were both just as excited about going painting balling as the rest of us were. I'm sure Charlie would have a leg up in the shooting department being the sheriff of our hometown of Forks. I would definitely see to it that he was on my team. No way was I starting any kind of war with him, be it a mock war or a real war.
Unfortunately after dinner this evening, they would be parting ways with us. They had to head out early in the morning so that Charlie could get to work on time, and my dad had a shift tomorrow morning at the hospital.
Carlisle said it was for the best. This way it gave us guys a chance to pal around without the "daddy's looking on and listening in," he had chuckled on the phone when he called to confirm that he and Charlie would be joining us today.
Before we were even fully seated the waitress had arrived, and was sitting six large glasses of ice water down on the table and handing each of us a menu. She was gone before I could even look up from the table to thank her, but was back in a flash with food offerings.
Emmett nearly drooled at the sight of the large plate of crispy fried calamari. There was also a dish of Anthony's famous baked crab, shrimp, and artichoke dip with a side of hot tortilla chips straight from the fryer. Life couldn't get any better than this.
After sitting the appetizers down the server quickly took our orders noticing the ravenous way we were eyeing the appetizers.
"I think we nearly scared the poor girl to death," Charlie chucked.
There wasn't much talk as we all dug in and devoured the delectable food. When, not even a crumb was left, we all lounged back in our chairs, sighing in relief, waiting patiently for the arrival of our highly anticipated entrees.
After our lunch plates arrived the conversation remained light and casual. Mainly it was spent talking about the goings on back in Forks.
"It's too bad that the La Push boys couldn't make it today. They would have made this day insane. I'll never forget the first time Edward and I met them at Bella's seventeenth birthday party, and Jacob and I inadvertently helped in divesting Lauren Mallory of her bikini top," Emmett laughed.
Sometimes, his vocabulary amazed me. In a single conversation his vocabulary could run the gamut of beach bum, skater, rap star, and a well mannered educated man. Random would definitely be a good way to describe Emmett.
"I'm sure you heard from Bella that Jacob landed an internship this summer with that Cesar Milan guy down in California. There was no way he could put it off. I'm sure you guys remember how determined he is to become an animal trainer in the movie industry, preferably working with dogs," Charlie reminded us.
As long as I've known Jacob he had an uncanny ability to communicate with animals, namely those of the canine persuasion. Seeing him work with his two wolf hybrids Sam and Emily was astonishing. It was as if the dogs and Jacob could communicate with one another using only their minds.
"That's the guy from the Dog Whisper right?" Ben asked. "Jacob must be pretty good. I don't see that being an easy internship to land."
Charlie nodded in agreement. "Jacob said he only takes on two interns during the summer."
"What about Quil and Embry?" Jasper inquired.
"Ah, ever the adventurers those two are. They both took on summer jobs working for the department of forestry in Olympic National Park. Today they're leading a group of volunteers on an overnighter deep into the park to help clear trails and help prepare the park for the up coming tourist season," Charlie said, bringing us up-to-date on our friend. "Not to worry though, they will all be at the wedding Saturday. I think if they didn't show up Bella would hunt them down herself and strangle them." We all chuckled knowing the tenacity Bella could show when something was important to her.
"Edward does Alice know this?" Emmett feigned concern. "You might want to order more food. You know how those guys like to eat." The whole group laughed. While he may have said it as a joke, it was all too true. I honestly didn't know how the La Push boys didn't eat their parents out of house and home. Now that they were all in college, I pictured them having two or three jobs to support their eating habits.
It would be nice to see all of them at the wedding. We hadn't seen Quil and Embry since Christmas, and Jacob since Thanksgiving. At this point in all our lives school and jobs really dictated when we were able to see old friends.
Bella and I had yet to return home since the end of the spring semester three weeks ago. We both had part-time jobs at the University Village Mall, her at Barnes & Noble, and me at Radio Shack. Yesterday was our last day of work until we return from our honeymoon. Monday, we would all be heading back home to Forks to help my parents with all the last minute preparations to get their house ready for the wedding and reception.
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"Let's go play us a friendly game of war," My dad said enthusiastically as we walked across the parking lot towards our cars.
"Friendly? There's not going to be anything friendly about what we're getting ready to play my friend. You're going down," Charlie said as a sly grin spread across his face, sending a chill down my back. Seriously, the man carried a real gun. I only hoped he would leave that gun at home next weekend. That's all I'd need is for him to change his mind about Bella and my nuptials while being armed and dangerous.
"What do you say Edward? How about you, Ben and I take on these three bozos?" I laughed at my dad's expression to his friend's challenge. Watching the rivalry between him and Charlie was quite amusing.
"I'm in. It's about time someone cuts these guys down a notch," I said starring Emmett straight in the eye.
"Oh you think so, do you? You prepared to put you money where your mouth is?" Carlisle inquired, not intimidated by Charlie's or my threats.
Charlie reached into his pocket, slapping the twenty he found there into Carlisle's hand. They both smiled at each other smugly.
"Children, children," Emmett chided. "Let's play nice. We're all grown up here. Now get in the car before you make us late."
They both nodded, chuckling as they climbed into the Mercedes. The rest of us jumped into the jeep and were on our way to play us a friendly game of war.
I noticed out of the corner of my eye Emmett slipping a bill to Carlisle whispering, "I'm in for fifty, no way those pansies can take us."
It was apparent that the competitiveness was running high in all of us, and I couldn't wait to help Charlie and Ben take my father, Emmett, and Jasper down.
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A/N: Well there you have the first half of Edward's big day. Anything thoughts as to what surprises lay head for our beloved Edward? We all know that Emmett can possibly leave Edward with just a day of food and paintball. lol
THANK YOU for reading my story. I know this is not a recent post, but I still read, appreciate, and respond to all reviews. Seriously, they make me as happy as a big bowl of Cozy Shack tapioca pudding.
If you want to read about when Edward and Emmett first met Jacob and his gang that can be found in chapters 1 and 2 of More Than a Beautiful Mess.
If your wondering, I found Jasper's joke at psychologyhelp(dot)com. lol