Do not own! Not mine!

Flora's POV:

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! THAT FREAKING HUUUURRRTTS!" I winced as I heard Jay screech, watching as the doctors struggled to hold her down, one woman's hand embedded in the cut they made, searching for the shrapnel that they had found inside my friend via X-ray. "OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW! I HATE YOU FREAKING CATHOLIC BASTA– OOOOWWWW!" she wailed, her hands suddenly gripping the metal rails of the cot in a vise, her face sweaty from pain as she obviously tried to keep from blacking out. "Why didn't you give her anesthetic?" I asked neutrally, torn between laughter and panic, and Heinkel rubbed her ears as my friend shrieked again. "We're out, more's the pity." she muttered, and I bit my lip, starting to pace nervously around the room as more shrieks of pain closed in, many of the Vatican priests and nuns laid out on the cots, bleeding profusely. Anderson was out doing his thing, but he had left Heinkel with the wounded, partially because she seemed to be more of a bodyguard instead of an exterminator, and partially because Yumie wasn't exactly the type to sit and do nothing, unlike her alter-ego Yumiko. Heinkel had filled me in on that shortly after she dragged me out of the operating room and made sure I wasn't going to run back in.

Jay shrieked one more time and fell silent, and I curiously peeked through the window, seeing her eyes rolled up in her head as the doctor wrenched an inch-long shard of metal out of her side, the woman's gloves bloody and slick. "Ow…" she whimpered softly, opening her eyes a little as the doctors began gathering up their tools, the one that had pulled the shrapnel out starting to sew up her cut as she winced and bit her lip. As soon as the doctor cut the sewing cord, she sat up, scooting out of the bed and ducking under their arms as she slid into the spot Heinkel had just vacated, heading towards a man who wouldn't seem to hold still despite the medics pinning him down. "You okay?" I asked in concern, and she grinned at me, then winced, putting her hand to the line of stitches. "I'll live. What's the status of Rome?" she asked curiously, and I winced in turn. "Not good. Ghouls are running all over and it's all the Vatican can do to keep them contained and away from the civilians, and nobody's found a single vampire master except for us." I said softly, and she whistled.

"I may be new to all this, but even I can tell that's a REALLY bad sign for us." she muttered, and I nodded gloomily. Heinkel came back, a splatter of blood marked out on her cheek. "You shouldn't be moving around, Protestant witch." she barked at Jay, who gave her a sweet and menacing smile. "I'm not a Protestant, I'm an atheist. And it's not like the bullet hit anything important, I basically just got stabbed." She corrected the Catholic proudly, and I sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of my nose. 'Jay…why do you have to be so stubborn…' I thought pleadingly, lifting my head to see Jay and Heinkel in a lengthy dialogue, insults flying thick and fast as I rolled my eyes and sighed yet again.

"PAPIST FANATIC!"

"AMERICAN HEATHEN!"

"DOE-EYED BIBLE WORHSIPER!"

"MISERABLE ATHEIST SCUM!"

"BATTY CATHOLIC!"

"HERITICAL WENCH!"

"PSYCHOPATHIC SHE-MALE!"

"PATHETIC LITTLE LAP DOG!"

"YOU-"

I quickly covered Jay's mouth with my hands as she started to spit what I guessed was something we'd both regret, holding on as she tried to hit the smug-looking Heinkel in front of us. "I think you should move away please." I said politely, and Heinkel nodded grudgingly, marching away as Jay suddenly managed to yank her mouth free and spit "Christian witch!" before I hurriedly covered her mouth again, giving her a nasty glare on top of it. She shrugged meekly and I removed my hand, watching as she winced again, rubbing her side and sighing in annoyance. "This may be a foreign concept for you, but you could actually try being nice to them." I said helpfully, and she raised an eyebrow at me. "Sure I could. And you can try sitting calmly on the sidelines when one of the maids start flirting with Alucard."

My blood boiled at the very thought, and it wasn't until I heard her snickering that I realized I was halfway out of my seat and my hand was on the hilt of my knife, sitting back down with a sheepish cough. "Shut up." She grinned broadly, tilting her head back against the wall as she painfully crossed her legs. "I won't dream of saying a single word." she chuckled, and I glared at her for a moment before sighing and resting my head on my hands.

"This sucks." I muttered bluntly, and she nodded, removing her gloves from her pocket and putting them back on before copying my position, glaring balefully at Heinkel and the other nuns that bustled about the wounded. We both let out long, identical sighs, and Jay growled, running her hands through her hair and fidgeting impatiently as I gave her a mild look. One thing you must learn if you spent any length of time with my best friend;

She gets bored very, very easily.

And she does very, very odd things to entertain herself.

"Nyaō, boku ra kuroi neko, hmm hm hmm hmhm…" she muttered absently, rocking back and forth and humming to herself as I rolled my eyes, recognizing the tune as Black Cats of the Eve. Her fingers began tapping a quick and random pattern on her legs, and she continued to rock back and forth, still humming to herself as I rolled my eyes again, shaking my head sadly. She began rocking faster, casting her head from side to side in a lazy effort to find something to do, humming agitatedly to herself as she did so, her eyes dull and sleepy. "You look like you're having a fit." I said with a giggle, and she gave me a healthy glare, sticking her tongue out for a second before sighing and resting her chin in her hands again. "Boredom. Sheer, crushing, world-annihilating boredom. Gimme a buzzsaw and a pack of ghouls. Entertainment. Getting shot with a pellet gun. Watch a movie on politics. Dissect the complete psychological profile of Freddy Kruger. SOMETHING." she moaned, draping her arm over her face and leaning back against the wall as I giggled silently. She always did get oddly poetic when bored.

"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, came a tapping on my door…quothe the raven nevermore…darkness there and nothing more…" she mumbled, and I raised an eyebrow. "I think you've got it a bit out of order." I said impishly, and she shrugged, listlessly flipping me the bird. "I can mumble whatever I darn well please, and what I wanna mumble is fragments of The Raven. I never said I was quoting it the right way." she said archly, and I rolled my eyes as she went back to muttering. Slowly, I heard the muttered bits of song, raising an eyebrow at her continued morbicy of thought. "One…two…Freddy Kruger's after you…three…four…better lock your door…five…six…you may need a crucifix…seven, eight, better stay up late…nine, ten, never sleep again…" She continued to mutter this until it was thoroughly stuck in my head as well, thank you very much, finally stopping as Heinkel came over to us again.

"The sun's setting." She said quietly, making both of us tense up. Everyone knew what that meant. Trouble with a capital T-R-O-U-B-L-E. Now the vampires –and ghouls– could act however, and more importantly, wherever they wanted. "They're going to come down on us like a ton of bricks." Jay said quietly, voicing all of our thoughts as Heinkel nodded gloomily, pushing her bangs back. "Yeah. Pretty much." she admitted, and Jay muttered a curse as I bit my lip. "How are the defenses? If each and every undead in the city comes crashing down on the gate, how long can you hold out?" Jay demanded suddenly, and Heinkel blinked at her. "Hours, possibly till dawn. We're about as safe as safe could be here." she answered in surprise, and I gulped, seeing that Jay had her "thinking face" on. "In other words, we're stuck here under siege if it comes to an attack, and they can summon new troops at will; there's a great big city full of victims out there, and Anderson and the others can't be everywhere at once." she said bluntly, looking up as my stomach lurched. Somehow I didn't think I'd like her line of thought…

"What're you saying? We should try to break out?" Heinkel asked incredulously, and Jay shook her head in exasperation. "Uh, no. I'm saying we-" She was pointing to ME! Why was she pointing to me?! I wasn't going to have anything to do with this harebrained scheme! "-sneak out of the city when they're least expecting it, get far enough away that their mental and electrical cover doesn't work, and call in the cavalry in the form of King Fanger, which you may know as Alucard. Hellsing comes down on them like a lightning bolt from God, you guys all live, we get to see the lovely Italian countryside, and everyone also hopefully find out whodunit." Heinkel was nodding. No! Bad nun! Don't nod! THIS WAS A BAD IDEA! WHY WAS SHE NODDING?!

"You know, that isn't half bad for a heretical atheist heathen. Do you think you can manage to get out alive though?" she said grudgingly, and Jay grinned. "Of course. After all, what kind of butler would I be if I couldn't get my master out of one measly ghoul-infested city?" she asked flippantly, shrugging at me as I rolled my eyes, putting my head in my hands. 'Not only is she tossing our lives around like bargaining chips, she's also paraphrasing Black Butler while she's at it.' I mentally groaned, and Heinkel put a hand to her chin, appraising us. "When do you plan to leave? The sun's already pretty much set, there's no way out right now." Jay grinned, and I stiffened beside her, sensing danger. Oh…no. 'Please Jay, please don't say what I think you're about to say, please please please please please please PLEASE don't do it…' I mentally begged her, and she flashed me a wicked grin, as if she knew what I thought she was going to say and would say it anyway, before staring confidently up at Heinkel.

"We go when they least expect it. We go when every vamp, ghoul, and undead creature in this city is so strong and in their element that it would be suicide to even dare try to slip through. Midnight, on the dot." she said proudly, and Heinkel voiced my thoughts exactly.

"ARE YOU F^&#ING INSANE?!"