Summary: Several people have asked for the 'do you want kids' talk in various different guises – so here it is, in a slightly unexpected format. I hope you enjoy nonetheless.

Jam Doughnut

Belle was incredibly puzzled as she rang Archie's doorbell. She'd received a call from him at lunch time, saying that he was concerned about Ruby, and would Belle please come over and talk to her? Worried and intrigued in equal measure, Belle had gone over to the psychiatrist's after she'd finished at the library, armed with doughnuts, Ruby's favourite comfort food.

Her first thought was that Ruby and Archie had had a fight. She dismissed the idea almost immediately; Ruby had told Belle every time she and Archie had fought (all two and a half occasions); even when it was the middle of the night, Belle was always the first to know.

Granny answered the door.

"Thank God you're here," she said. "I don't know what's up with her. She won't talk to me, or Archie, she's just sitting up in the bedroom refusing to come out."

The poor woman was incredibly upset. Despite the vast age gap between them, she and Ruby had always been very close – after all, Granny had raised Ruby from the age of six – and it obviously hurt her that her granddaughter wouldn't confide in her.

Archie was hovering in the hallway behind Granny, looking nervous.

"If it was something I did or said," he began, "tell her I'm really sorry, even though I don't know what it was."

Belle smiled and patted his arm on her way past. "I'm sure you haven't done anything, Archie," she said. "I'd know about it if you had, believe me."

She went upstairs and knocked gently on the bedroom door.

"Rubes, it's Belle. Can I come in?"

There was no reply.

"I brought doughnuts," Belle wheedled. "Please, Ruby?"

There was a long silence, and then a very small-sounding 'yes'.

Belle tentatively opened the door and inserted herself into the room. The curtains were drawn despite it still being light outside, and Ruby was sitting in the centre of the bed. She was curled up with her chin on her knees, hugging her plush wolf and staring at the door. She'd been crying, that much was self-evident.

"Oh Ruby…" Belle kicked off her shoes and got onto the bed next to her friend. "What's up, babe?"

Ruby just gave a choked little sob, burying her face in the wolf and pointing a shaking finger at her bedside table. Belle leaned over and saw it, the thing that had made her usually bright and loquacious friend so emotional.

It was a pregnancy test.

A positive pregnancy test. There in blue and white; Ruby was having a baby.

Belle said nothing. She knew all too well the fear that unplanned pregnancy brought, and she knew from experience that no words could help assuage it. Nothing she could say would make Ruby feel any better, so she just wrapped her arms around her friend and waited for her to speak. She wondered at their sudden reversal. All the time that they had known each other, it had always been Ruby who had been the strong one; Ruby who had been the one to comfort and protect her friend, Ruby who always knew what to say and how to say it and how to make Belle feel better no matter how bad the circumstances. Now it was up to Belle to return the great gift of friendship that Ruby had given her, to be the strong one and help her best friend through her time of need. She kissed the top of Ruby's head and gave her shoulders a reassuring squeeze.

"It's silly, really," Ruby said eventually, her voice muffled by the wolf until she finally turned her face up towards Belle and wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. "Just the other day, Archie and I were talking about kids. We've been thinking of getting a bigger place, you see, perhaps out into the countryside a bit more, more room for Pongo to run around in. We were talking about having a big country church wedding, four kids, the whole white picket fence charade. And we both wanted it." She sighed. "I just didn't expect it to be so soon." She snorted. "I even know when it happened; it was Emma's wedding. Emma got married, you got engaged, I got pregnant."

Belle sighed and held out the bag of doughnuts. "Ruby, you've got to tell Archie."

Ruby took a doughnut and turned it over in her fingers, picking at it rather than eating it until it broke and spilt jam all over her, and she was forced to lick it away before she made the sheets sticky and strawberry-scented.

"It's just so sudden," she said, ignoring Belle's previous words. "My life's never going to be the same. Ever. For about an hour I just sat here thinking about everything that I needed to do, everything I needed to buy… I started thinking about folic acid, and that's something I've never thought about in my life before. And then I realised that this is it, this is real, this isn't just me and Archie giggling over the really embarrassing names we'd give our kids. So then I spent another hour forgetting everything I'd just been thinking about and just thinking 'Oh my God, I'm pregnant. I'm going to have a baby, another person, and he or she will be part of my life forever'. And then I started getting worried because I thought 'what if I forget I have a baby and leave it in Tesco carpark? What if I get bored of it? A kid is for life, not just for Christmas…' And I'd like to be ready, I'd like to think I'm grown up enough. I'm nearly twenty-eight, after all. But right now I just feel like a scared little girl again."

Belle took the mangled doughnut from Ruby's hands and put it back in the bag before leaning in and giving her once more weeping friend another hug. She had been through exactly the same thought pattern herself when she'd first found out she was pregnant.

"It's scary," she agreed. "It's an absolutely terrifying prospect. But you've got Archie, and Granny, and me and Emma. We'll all help you out. We're all here for you, no matter what happens." There was a long pause whilst Ruby blew her nose and dried her eyes again. "I did mean what I said about you needing to tell Archie though."

Ruby shook her head.

"I don't want to."

"I know you don't." She hadn't wanted to tell Gary either. "It's frightening, and actually saying the words 'we're having a baby' makes it all the more real. But you've got to."

Ruby looked at her with a pleading expression in her eyes.

"Will you stay? Please? Just for moral support, you know."

Belle nodded. As incredibly unlikely as she thought a volatile reaction from the timid psychiatrist would be, she wasn't going to ignore her friend's request to be loaned strength when she needed it most.

"Of course."

"This isn't what we planned," Ruby said.

"But at least it was planned eventually," Belle said. "It's just happening a little sooner than expected. The steps of the grand master plan are being taken out of order, but you'll get to the end in time."

Ruby nodded.

"Will you get Archie please?"

Belle nodded and left the room. Archie was sitting on the bottom step with his head in his hands, and Granny was trying to coax him into accepting a mug of tea.

"Archie," she called down to him. He jumped up like a shot and ran up the stairs towards her, stumbling over his own feet in the process. He entered the bedroom and Belle slipped in behind him, closing the door.

Ruby got off the bed and took the few steps over to Archie, taking both his hands in hers.

"Archie, I have something very important to say," she said, before taking a brief glance over his shoulder at Belle and then refixing her eyes on her boyfriend. She took a deep breath, then seemed to deflate a little. "I think maybe you ought to sit down."

"Ok…"

Archie let himself be led over to the bed and sat down beside Ruby, who took another deep breath.

"I'm pregnant."

As Belle would later attest, Archie's face ran the full gamut of expressions from 'shocked' through to 'amazed' via 'terrified' and back again, and for a moment Belle was very glad that he was sitting down lest he faint, before the widest grin imaginable spread over his face and he said one word.

"Wow."

"Wow?" Ruby echoed.

"Wow," Archie affirmed. "Ruby, I'm going to be a dad. You're going to be a mum. We're going to have a baby. It's as simple as that, and it's the most amazing thing in the world. So yes. Wow."

Ruby looked for a moment as if she was going to say something, but she appeared to think better of it, and settled instead for throwing her arms around Archie in a bone-crushing hug.

"You know, we'll have to stop procrastinating about house-hunting now," Archie pointed out, stroking Ruby's hair. He kissed her cheek. "Oh Ruby, I love you."

They stayed in their embrace for a long time, and Belle was about to make her excuses and leave them in privacy when Ruby spoke again.

"Of course, now we've got to do the really scary part," she muttered. "We've got to tell Granny."

Belle laughed. "You're on your own for that one."

She said her goodbyes to the newly-expectant couple and left the room, confident that her presence was no longer required, but assuring Ruby that she need only pick up the phone and Belle would come running to her aid. Granny was still hovering at the bottom of the stairs as Belle came down.

"Is everything all right?" she asked.

Belle smiled.

"Everything's going to be perfect," she replied. "Just wait and see."

X

Belle knew she was going to have to stop thinking and start talking when she realised she had read the same page of Sense and Sensibility three times without noticing. She and Gold were sitting on the floor in the living room, or rather, Gold was sitting on the floor leaning against the sofa and Belle was lying on the floor using her fiancé's lap as a pillow. She sighed and put the book down, splayed over her stomach.

"Gold…"

"Hm?"

She turned her head slightly to look at him, watching as he closed his own book and put it on the sofa to give her his full attention.

"I was thinking…"

She broke off, completely unsure of where to begin. Ever since Ruby's revelation that afternoon, she had been thinking about children, and it made no sense to her. She had never been particularly maternal; she had never felt broody when around Ashley and Alexandra or Henry, and she wasn't feeling broody now. A small part of her always thought about how her first pregnancy had ended, and that was enough to chase her thoughts away from children who had her nose and chestnut curls and Gold's eyes of bittersweet chocolate…

It was more that she had come to a realisation, a sudden knowledge that unlike Archie and Ruby, she and Gold had never, ever discussed starting a family.

Given both of their backgrounds, Belle couldn't say that she was entirely surprised that this was the one topic that they had both steered clear of for so long. Although they both knew the pain of losing a child, they knew it from different circumstances, and neither could hope to fully understand the other's feelings as they had never been in exactly the same position. Every time it had crossed her mind to bring up the subject, Belle had chased the thought away with the proviso that Gold would be fifty next year; he probably didn't want to be getting into new family dynamics with her twenty-five years after starting his first family. The last thing she wanted him to think was that she was trying to substitute his dead son.

But what if he was working on the same principle; never mentioning the subject because of her experiences? Some women, Belle knew, had a tragic natural disposition to multiple miscarriages, and whilst she had never been told that this could happen to her, she still could not help but feel a certain fear of becoming pregnant again lest she lose another spark of life. Maybe he didn't want to feel that he was pushing her towards having a baby if he didn't know whether she felt completely comfortable with the idea of another pregnancy.

She sighed again, letting out a long breath as she tried to formulate her thoughts into some kind of coherent speech, Gold's dark eyes watching her calmly. They could be thinking all these things, but they'd never know unless they actually talked about them.

"I was thinking," she repeated, more firmly and sure of herself. "For all that we talk, we've never really discussed the future, you know… having a family."

Gold was silent for a moment, the little frown line appearing between his brows as he thought. "No, I don't suppose we have."

"I mean, we're getting married next year, and it's not an unreasonable thing for an engaged couple to talk about," Belle continued. "Have you ever thought about it?"

Gold nodded, curling his fingers into her hair.

"I have thought about it, yes. Belle, sweetheart…" he began. "You've been acting a little bit off ever since you came in…" He placed his other hand on her book over her abdomen. "Are you…"

Belle shook her head and put her hand over his. "No, I'm not pregnant." She studied his face carefully for a reaction; she had felt the incredible urge to add 'sorry' to the statement, but there was nothing in his expression to show that he was saddened or disappointed by her last words. He wore a mask of neutrality, waiting for her to speak again. He had, quite rightly, assumed there was more to be said.

"Ruby is," she said eventually. "And although it's completely unexpected, she said that she and Archie had talked about having children, they'd talked about a future family. It made me realise that it's something we've never spoken about. And I wondered if we've both been thinking about it but just never brought it up because we're each worried about what the other will think in relation to the past."

Gold gave a slight nod. "I understand."

"So this is me being brave and bringing it up. Children." Belle let out a long breath and silence reigned supreme for a few moments until she began to feel uncomfortable with the stillness and began to speak again. "If we imagine, for the moment, that we hadn't had the experiences we've had… Would you want to have children? Damn, that's a stupid thing to say, of course we can't just forget everything that's happened in the past, that would defeat the entire…"

"Belle."

Gold gently placed his index finger over her lips and she quietened.

"Belle, I would love to have a child with you, in the future. Whether or not we've been through what we've been through wouldn't change that. I have no doubt that you would be an amazing mother. But it's not the be all and end all. If it happens, then it will be wonderful, but if it doesn't, then it doesn't matter. We have many years ahead of us and anything could happen. You are more than enough to make my life complete, and your wellbeing is what's most important, and that should come into consideration first." He gave a wan smile. "That's one of the reasons why I never mentioned the subject. It's your body. It should be your decision."

Belle took his hand and moved it away from her face, playing with his fingers.

"So what's the other reason?"

"Pardon?"

"You said one of the reasons. What's the other?"

The corner of Gold's mouth twitched. "I'm forty-nine, Belle. I'm a bit past my peak. You're still in the prime of your life and, it must be said, your fertility. I didn't want to disappoint you." Belle sighed and squeezed his fingers. "That's it, in a nutshell," he continued. "What about you? To ask you your own question."

Belle nodded.

"In a perfect world, I wouldn't hesitate to say yes, I'd love to have kids with you some day. And even now, in our beautifully imperfect world, I would love to have kids with you some day. But this is the world we're in, we have been through the lives we've had, and I have to be honest and say that I'm scared. Not just of the possibility of losing another baby… I suppose the other real reason I never broached the subject was Bae. I never wanted you to think I'd forgotten him, or was trying to replace him."

"Belle, no-one will ever be able to replace Bae. He was unique and irreplaceable. But that doesn't mean I don't have enough room in my heart to love another child."

Belle released her grip on his hand and raised herself up on her elbows so that she could kiss him. They had only scaled the tip of the iceberg, of course. There was more to be said, much more, but at least their thoughts were out in the open; there was no fear of bringing up the subject any more. Their feelings had been aired and now they could be put aside calmly, ready for the next time that the discussion arose. Neither would be scared of the topic now that misappreciations had been put to rights. Perhaps it wasn't a discussion for right now, perhaps it was one that they would wait until they were married before they revisited, but they were on the same page now. If children happened in the years to come, then it would be a good thing that they would welcome – if with a little trepidation – but if they didn't, then it wouldn't be a bad thing. After all, Gold's words were true. The entire future lay ahead of them, and anything could happen.