Yes, I am here with chapter 25 of The Masquerade! I am so sorry for the wait on this, I have been trying to update Breathless as well as my other stories but my WiFi was being fickle and I couldn't get on. I fixed it! I am also in classes and everything that take up so much time out of a day to day bases. Before I knew it, it was too long. -.- I know that I don't need to provide any excuse or anything since this is a free time thing, but you guys have been so fantastic in your waiting, your reviews, your support - that I just couldn't leave you guys hanging anymore. Again, I am sorry that it took so long. This chapter is more than 4,000 words. I hope you like it. :)

Chapter 25: Radioactive

Janelle slowly made her way through the crowd gathered inside the clubhouse, moving her hips gently to the rock music that vibrated through the speakers with a smile curving her lips. In one of her hands clutched a glass of orange juice and in the other a bottle of Bourbon for Happy, by some miracle she was actually making it through the masses around her without spilling her drink either - much to her everlasting amusement. Ranging from the were regulars warned the ones newly stepping foot into the club, from the MC's croweaters to the out of Charming Charter Reapers - they all moved clean out of the way as soon as they spotted her. Whether it was because of how she didn't tolerate any bullshit or who her husband was differed from person to person, for only the members held respect for her as a person. That didn't really matter much before to anyone else, who she was, but they did all at least know her as the feisty old lady of the Tacoma 'Killah' Happy Lowman. They learned however that each member of the MC was very protective of her since she was also carrying precious cargo.

Despite the fact that she currently wasn't on the best of terms with Jax, she knew full well that on the off chance that Happy didn't take notice of someone knocking her down - then her brother or anyone else apart of the mother charter wouldn't hesitate to step in on his behalf. Hell, the other charter members would gleefully help spread the malicious treatment on the poor fool. She knew such things to be true and, amusingly enough, so did they. Janelle could only count on one hand the occurrences growing up where people didn't acknowledge the fact that she was by them until it was too late to do other than stare fearfully up a a SAMCRO reaper for not watching who they bumped into. Now that she was pregnant, the repercussions to such things took a deadly turn… and everyone knew it.

Shaking her head softly, Janelle eyed her surroundings before zoning in on her husband leaning against the pool table casually while talking to Kozik, a blond croweater inching fearfully away from the both of them as soon as she made eye contact with Janelle. The old lady tried to place the other woman's face, she looked familiar with bangs framing her olive skin toned face but Janelle always made a note not to involve herself with these whores unless to order them about for an event or to kick their skinny asses for trying and failing to seduce her husband. It wasn't as if she didn't trust Happy because she did, it was done so that these bitches learned their place. To keep their hands off of what they damn well knew they couldn't have. Repetition was the key with them, because clearly their tiny minds couldn't understand what they were shown the first fucking time. Probably why she is so nervous… Janelle thought dryly with a growing smirk curving her lips, most likely broke her nose a time or two before for doing just that. She shrugged lightly as she moved closer and offered him the shot of alcohol in her hand.

"None for me?" Kozik pouted his bottom lip out in a teasing manner, before eyeing the drink in her hand with interest… and only shrugged once when she flat out told him that he wouldn't like it because it wasn't alcoholic. Duh, she was pregnant Kozik. Happy ignored the way the fellow reaper beside him spun his body around to start into the direction of the bar in favor of grabbing the shot glass that Janelle offered him, gave her a heated look before tossing it back. The look was also with a twitching smirk, allowing her to easily read that he had witnessed the standoff between her and the croweater that had gotten too close for her liking. How amused it had made him when Janelle got territorial but he wasn't fooling anyone, least of all her. She knew full well that if anyone other than him attempted to touch her in a sensual kind of way, he would show everyone involved just how he got his nickname of the Tacoma Killah.

After the shot glass was emptied, Happy gave her a look of male satisfaction because she was his; his old lady and the soon to be mother of his children. She rolled her eyes good naturedly at him, before her lips curved into a smile as he wrapped a warm muscular arm around her form and tugged her carefully into his side. Janelle closed her eyes in content as he placed a kiss on the side of her head and stealthily snagged her orange juice to take a sip.

Tonight… Sometime tonight she was going to force herself to talk to Jax. They both needed to clear the air, they needed each other but for now all she wanted to do was be with the one that made her… well, Happy. Janelle smiled at the pun before turning her head to press her face into the leather collar of his cut; for over the years and no matter where the two of them ended up, it was surrounded by family and wrapped within the warmth of his arms that she always felt right at how.

It ended up being a half an hour later that Janelle reluctantly parted from Happy with a soft kiss on the lips to go track down her brother as if she transformed into a bloodhound, and ended up finding him sitting outside at one of the wooden picnic tables with one of the others in his charter. Dread was quick to fill Jax as he took in the glint housed within her eyes, watching quietly as his sister moved forward as soon as they finished speaking on last minute business. He was mindful how Tara moved to step forward as well but quickly retract her steps when she realized that Janelle was ignoring her existence for the time being; mentally he sighed in resignation but he also knew that it wouldn't be that easy. It never was. When Janelle was angry at one thing or another, well and truly angry… it was like she was radioactive. No one could reason with her, her stubbornness flared and she embodied the element of fire.

With her gaze locked on him, Janelle promptly uttered one phrase that every guy around the world cringes at… well, it seemed all but Clay whom offered no response at other than to cover his mouth to conceal the cough that tried and failed to cover up his laugh.

"We need to talk."

Janelle sighed as she gently laid her body back on the bed, mindful of how the soft comforter molded her body as soon as she came in contact with it. Her eyelids closed and though to anyone who looked at her now, her mind wasn't as restful as it appeared to be. She loved Jackson but sometimes Janelle felt like he needed someone to pull him back from the edge. To make him realize how high the cliff was that he was unknowingly going to walk off of. It pained her to be fighting with the other half of her soul, but at some point Janelle knew she needed to draw a line. Each and every one of them needed to, in the same sense though they needed to talk about it for Janelle's sanity if nothing else.

With her eyes locked on the ceiling above her, Janelle fought the instinct to get up and go find her brother again; to somehow make all this right and force away the hard lump that suddenly clogged the inside of her throat. Fucking pregnancy hormones! Janelle scoffed mentally at her thoughts and forced herself to remain where she was. She said her peace, there was nothing left for her to say - Hell, she wasn't the one that fucked up. She was angry with him, in which she felt was understandably so, but it seemed as if she was the only one that was giving him hell for it. Even her mother, Gemma, a woman with a no-shit policy... didn't say a single word to Jax about it. If anything, from what she heard from Tig, her mother went to yell at Tara for it. Her mother didn't even linger on Jax aside from the fact that he apparently had time to wash his hair... but not have the time it takes to pick up the phone and give someone a head's up.

It seemed that Janelle was the one that thought something happened to be brother. She was the one that felt no matter the rebudding closeness between both Jax and Tara, a patched member had responsibilities to the club that they were sworn into. Both of them knew this, yet the pregnant beauty felt the need to... remind them of this fact earlier today. What? They were so wrapped up into each other that they forgot just what Jax had come over there for? Janelle's face twitched into a disgusted expression at the thought with fire blazing within her eyes, You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Janelle fought not to be weak with emotion, but suspected it will be naught but a losing battle especially with the emotional roller coaster ahead of her. Janelle urged herself not to snort at the incredulous thought, she already felt loving one minute and wanting to skin someone the next. And you mean to tell me that it will only get worse from here?! Shit, my own family isn't looking forward to it - how can anyone expect the world to?

All this shit is going to even more complicated... Great.

Just as a sigh slipped passed her lips though, Janelle felt the side to her right dip with weight. Slowly, Happy's face came into focus; leaning over her with concerned eyes, a kut and a tattooed head. As he leaned down to hover his face in front of her own, Janelle marveled at how silent he was before he wanted to make himself known. Maybe she was just consumed by her own thoughts but Janelle could have sworn she forgot he was even in the room. Am I slipping?

She only had time to think those three words before he pressed his lips on hers, and she soon lost all train of thought as the corners of her lips twitched upwards into a smile. From the heated look in Happy's dark eyes, she was in for one hell of a ride. Quite possibly in a literal sense if things looked up. He always proved that he was capable of taking her mind off of the bullshit day in and day out… and she loved every minute of it. Janelle would later recall her careful deliberation and would laugh, for it didn't matter at the moment if she was or wasn't. For all she knew it was because she was comfortable around Happy; it was true, she was.

Still though, she wouldn't contemplate any of this until later. Much later.

"You don't seem to get it, do you?" Janelle had stared at Jax from where she leaned her body casually against the edge of the wooden reaper engraved table; which had just been made into a makeshift operating table hours before. The words she spoke were in a soft tone yet it still seemed louder in the near quietness of the room, only their breathing and the vibration of the bass just outside the four walls joining her. It was the half concealed anguish that underlined her question that made Jax almost wish she had screamed at him. They have been in this room for almost five lengthy minutes now and all Jax could really do was regard her warily after the door was shut… wondering when the hit was going to come.

Her facial expression was too calm as she looked at him but her eyes were alight with a glint that was nearly haunted. He was sure that when it all wore off, the hit would be swift and painful. He would let her get at least one strike in, he felt that he owed her at least that much; aside from the fact that he could clearly recognize the wavering control in how her fingers clenched the edge behind her. She was attempting to hold herself back, suppressing the instinct to lunge at him… and as much as he didn't understand the reasons behind her actions, he hated how it made his guilt swell larger within his chest cavity. How could he not have thought about what his actions would do to her? He knew since this morning that she would be pissed, had cringed at the very thought of the aftermath of his no show… but this? For the first time in years he made his sister disappointed in him and somehow? That was so much worse.

"I don't care what you do with your free time but when you have somewhere to be? You better be there. Last night was the starting point of a war and you thought it best to worry us - me - so you could go play teenage hookie? You were thoughtless in your actions. Why did it seem like a bright idea to go to Tara's for medical supplies… and then drop off the face of the Earth from all of us? Did it ever - even once - cross your mind that I would think you were dead? No one got a hold of you or Tara. No one could verify if you were dead or alive - and why was that?" It was a rhetorical question so Jax wisely kept his mouth shut, staring at her with saddened eyes as she wouldn't meet his own in an attempt to pull herself mentally together again. When she continued after a long moment, her voice broke with the tears that she fought to push back, "Because you weren't fucking here!"

His eardrums seemed to ring immediately after she finally started to yell and a huge part of him wanted to hug her but he also knew that she would not react well to it. Still though, as if his body was suddenly controlled by his heart instead of his mind, he took a step forward… only for her to abruptly raise her palms up in response. Shit… finally, what he had been painfully waiting on, her sadness swiftly evolved into rage.

"The others practically decided not to confront you with any of this, probably because you outrank the majority of them-" All Jax could do was stare at her, his mind mentally producing the face Tig made at him earlier… the one that let everyone know his sanity was about an inch away from snapping. She didn't know, he quickly realized yet said nothing as she continued, "but I am your sister, damn it. I have more rights than that mediocre shit. I refuse to hold my tongue, to cushion the fall for you when you undoubtedly do something stupid. So take my advice here, hm?" Janelle growled as she took a step forward, her eyes blazing as he subconsciously took a step back; leaving Jax to marvel at how he could kill rivals without losing sleep, but his pregnant sister scared the shit out of him. "Don't. Do. Something. Stupid. I kind of like you alive and well, as I imagine so will Abel. So do us both a favor please…" Janelle walked around him to go to the door but ended up stopping halfway to Gibbs slap the back of his head hard to try and knock some sense into him.

"Pull yourself together."

She opened the door with force and reentered the party, the patched SAMCRO members and Kozik looked at the room she had just come out of like it was radioactive. Jax was left to stand in the room that usually held church and he was silent before he nodded his head thoughtfully, his next four words drowned out by the pounding rock music:

"Okay… I deserved that."

It was now, while he laid underneath of the covers in his dorm room, that Jax felt a kind of shame that he hadn't felt in a long time. He saw a side of Janelle tonight that was rarely directed at him, speaking of his adulthood track record mind you. Jax knew that even though he deserved her anger of worrying her so thoroughly, nothing in their teenage squabbling could prepare him for this. This was different, another kind of level in the hazardous game called life and he was at a loss as to how to make it up to her. He had to find some way to, this he knew in his soul, but Jax reckoned that the application of said action would be difficult. When was anything not difficult? You would think that he would be used to it by now. Through it all though, Janelle had been a constant presence within his life; whether or not she stood beside him or not. He never meant to be the reason behind the thought she undoubtedly had multiple times a day, "Dear God, I wish I could drink!" He never meant to hurt her.

Jax sighed softly, shifting underneath the covers that were just a his waist and leaving his bare, muscular chest exposed. Lately, there were happenings that he never meant to do. He struggled not to lose himself in his father's manuscript, written by the person he never really knew yet the writings called to his inner humanity. Rivaling against the club and his family's way of life, the manuscript was kind of like that of a man whom was trying desperately to atone for his sins. There had been blood on his father's hands too, but if it was in the name of protecting his family from the outside world that didn't live by their code… was it really such a bad thing?

His mind immediately conjured up the images of Abel's face, innocent from the world's torment just outside of his safety bubble and it was something that Jax knew he would gladly preserve as long as he could; until his very last breath. He thought of Janelle's face and all the emotions that had ever been etched on it, hardened to all else but soft to a select few; a child of her own cocooned within her stomach. He thought of his mother, the woman whom passed on her no shit policy to her children and that despite their arguments throughout the years, he'd kill anyone that raised a hand to her… much less anything else. He thought of his club, his brothers in all but blood and the fact that he had killed more than once to watch their six. A dysfunctional family the may be but divided they were not. He thought of Tara's face last, his high school sweetheart and the love of his life. He remembered when Kohn, the ATF bastard and knew that if he could raise that fucker from the dead just to kill him for the unfathomed horrors Kohn put Tara through - Jax would jump at the chance. In a heartbeat. He still held anger for that shit and the fact that he targeted Janelle made it worse, despite the fact that Kohn foolishly mistaken his sister to be weak. Yeah, many idiots had that delusion about pregnant woman. They think that because the woman's emotional response is heightened, that they would be an easy target to traumatize. Stupid, mind you, because a mother bear wouldn't think twice before mauling a hunter if her cubs were in danger. There was seldom about Janelle that anyone could prey on, and Jax always thought that there was a method to that kind of 'madness'.

Movement sounding from his bathroom startled Jax into the present, where he was once again aware that he wasn't alone and with that thought Tara opened the dark wooden door to reveal herself to him. Clad in a large, black shirt that had SAMCRO lettering on the front, she stood still for his inspection… and all he could offer was a growing smirk as he thought about how this look mirrored the times before it. He seemed to forget how good she looked in his t-shirts, too big on her petite form yet somehow looked right; as if she always belonged here, at his side. Her black hair was naturally styled as it cascaded down her back, her face was free of makeup to reveal the dark circles underneath her eyes that were the final product of taking care of others - his son, and clad in a SAMCRO shirt that was at least three sizes too damn big. He loves her like this, beautiful and raw to his eyes. Jax had seen makeup day in and day out, the sweetbutts more like clowns than actually human in an effort to be 'sexy', an attempt to appeal to their baser instincts. Some of them though, not all of course but some, thought with the head on their shoulders in more situations than the head between their legs.

He could immediately identify in her movements and expression that she was nervous. Nervous of his reaction to her wearing his shirt, of Janelle and how to face her tomorrow… or perhaps worse, his mother. Of how they would move on from here, after picking themselves back up from yet another obstacle; granted that they had brought on themselves this time. He was urged to tell her not to worry about it, to reassure her that it would be fine but he remained silent. He was never really good at lying to Tara in the past, he doubted he had gotten better at it over the years. How could he tell her as much when he himself didn't know if the words coming out of his mouth were true? So instead he moved his thoughts of darker places and snickered softly at the image before him and when she too smiled and asked him 'what?', he finally put his thoughts out in the open.

"It's just… that's a really good look on you." He honestly responded to her question, watching in awe as her eyes lit up in response with fucking stars. Jax felt too damn proud that he could still evoke that kind of reaction in her even after all these years to comment on it… or feel embarrassed by his male pride because no matter what had happened over the years, Tara Knowles was still his. He, in turn, was hers. He always was.

Tomorrow could wait, the questions and the reality of what the future held will have to wait for when it arrived. For now, he wanted to savory this moment - relish in the small pocket of time, to be with her.

Please, if you could leave a review for me on your take with this - that would be awesome. Thank you for reading my story. :)