Hey guys! So I have good news. The good news is, is that this is only half of the chapter that I was planning on posting. I was sitting here writing it and began to notice that I was not even ¾ of the way through it and was already on like page 20 of a word document. So I decided to post the first part of it, and the good news is, is that most of the next part is written, so hopefully it will be posted either tomorrow or tues.

Here's to my goal of starting to get chapters out more quickly for you guys.

Anyhow, a HUGE thanks to my amazing readers and an even bigger, hug, kiss, and plate of cookies to my reviewers.

Thanks to: bored411, Gwilwillith, Guest (I love ranty reviews. I actually just love reviews. So thanks!), DrWholock, CasRehme (thanks so much my dear!), anunearthydalek, ChelGallifreya221B413, LatinClover, and fantasyfreak133 (Thanks so much! And honestly, you should! WRITE WRITE WRITE :D) for their amazing reviews!

Alright, here's part I. Enjoy!

Sherlock lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as he heard Kylie brushing her teeth in the bathroom through the cracked adjoining door. He wasn't really paying any attention though; his thoughts were outside of the room. He was yearning to go back out into the living room and work, but with Kylie and John here, he knew he couldn't.

Why did you make that promise?

Because you want to keep that smile of relief on her face… that's why.

No, that's a stupid, illogical reason. There was something else… why?

… that's illogical? Wanting to put a smile on her face? You know the way it makes you feel….?

SHUT UP!

He shut his eyes and suppressed a groan of frustration with him mind. He was getting distracted about how another person felt. He never bothered to think about those kinds of things. All that mattered was the case. The facts.

All until Kylie… until you realized the things she made you feel…

John too.

John doesn't make your heart flutter, and give you the best high you have ever had in your life.

FOCUS!

He forced his mind back into action as he tried to remember any sounds he picked up on during his phone call with Thomas. Something.. there had to be something in the call… Something that could lead him to the bastard.

He replayed the call over again in his head, hearing the bastard's voice as he taunted him… talking gleefully about the things he did to Kylie.

…The horrible, awful things…

"You okay?"

Sherlock opened his eyes and saw Kylie leaning up against the door frame to the adjoining bathroom. Her hair was back down from the ponytail she had had it in earlier and she was dressed in her father's old sweatshirt and a pair of shorts that revealed how long her toned legs really were. Sherlock felt his eyes wander down her body, taking her in, feeling the warmth and giddiness that he always felt with her… the feeling that was becoming annoyingly familiar.

God, something really was wrong with him.

"Sherlock?" she said again, raising an eyebrow at him, "You okay? You looked like you wanted to punch the shit out of the ceiling about a minute ago."

"What?" he asked blinking, and returning his mind to the room instead of on his worry that there was sincerely something medically wrong with him, "Yeah. Fine, I'm always fine."

She laughed and shook her head as she wandered over to the bed, sitting down as she carefully removed the necklace that held her mother's ring and the raggedy pony bead necklace, placing them on the nightstand with care.

She turned to him, smiling at him softly, "You always say that."

"Because I am," he responded.

It was true. He always was fine. He had trained himself to be at a young age.

She just looked at him, her smile fading slightly.

"Look, I know you prefer to avoid it, but today… today was rough," she sighed dropping her gaze to the duvet, "It was rough for everybody. But I also know that I have never seen anything ever affect you like that. So if you ever do want to talk about anything, I am here to listen."

She looked back up at him, seeing him stare at her blankly from the pillow. She just waited, looking for any sort of response. Not that she was expecting him to start talking… but it would be nice if he at least acknowledged her…

"I mean, Lord knows you listened enough to me with Thomas and my mother…" she said lightly trying to break the silence.

Silence.

…..

God, he was worse than her father…

"Yeah… Okay. Good talk," she said in a slight sarcastic tone as she made her way under the covers, reaching over and turning out the light.

Sherlock habitually reached his arm out so that she could lay on his chest, but instead, she just leaned over, placing a hand on his chest as she briefly kissed him.

"Goodnight," she smiled at him, "Let's hope we both get some sleep, somehow… after today and all. God knows you haven't slept in ages."

And with that, she rolled over, placing her back towards him and settled down to sleep.

Sherlock looked at her back in slight shock and puzzlement, not able to deny the fact that he was liking the feeling of the warmth and comfort that she brought was quickly fading from him after the brief kiss.

He looked at his arm that was still slightly outstretch.

Why hadn't she laid on his chest?

Granted, they had only slept in the same bed a handful of times, mainly after hugely emotional issues, then twice two years later when they were reunited and once before they had picked up the Rowe case. It was true, they hadn't shared a bed since they picked up the Rowe case a week ago, nor slept all that much to begin with… but she always laid on his chest… and if he had to be honest with himself, he loved it. He had dreamed of it when he was in the Serbian forest for two years.

No you don't love it. It's a surge of chemicals and hormones…

You are allowed to enjoy the side-effects of that though…

His brain didn't have a retort to that.

Why did he want her in his arms? It was absurd. She was right next to him… yet he wanted her closer… a lot closer.

He was exhausted, he wanted to sleep, he wanted to work… yet why she wasn't in his arms was at the forefront of his mind?

How could he get her closer?

You could uhh.. hold her…?

No, that's too blatant. And since when have you desired human touch? Human comfort?

Its naturally engrained in humans… You know that.

Not me. I'm above that.

Are you really though…?

He huffed to himself, running a hand down his face in impatience.

He hated himself for wanting this. It was disgusting. He had never… EVER wanted human touch, but hugging her after walking out of that cabin, holding her close… it had righted his world. Made him feel as if his world wasn't spinning out of control as it had been in that cabin. The memories, the familiarity of the scene haunted him. Granted, what he had been through hadn't been to that degree in his childhood, it still brought up memories.

…no, you saw the horror once you left Uni… planted yourself right in the middle of it…

He shut his eyes and turned back to Kylie, staring at her back.

Do it. You know she will make you feel better.

YOU ARE ABOVE THIS!

Apparently not…

He swallowed all of his self-loathing and slowly rolled onto his side, staring at her back before hesitantly scooting closer to her and reaching an arm out to put around her.

Do it. You want that comforting scent of lavender and vanilla from that body wash she uses… The comfort of her touch...

His hand was so close before he paused.

What in the hell was he doing? He couldn't do this! This wasn't him.

But this is what you want.

He shut his eyes and swallowed his pride before he allowed his hand to drop, letting out a breath of relief, comfort flowing over him as he felt the curve of her waist. His hand moved without permission from his brain, trailing down side, finding the bottom of her sweatshirt. His fingers felt the soft skin of her side as he allowed his hands to slide across her flat stomach as he pressed his body up against her back.

He let out a breath, feeling warmth and relaxation wash over him like a wave as he felt her hair against his face.

Worth it. Totally worth it.

She moaned slightly and stirred, leaning more into his embrace.

He just held her tighter as he felt exhaustion finally begin to take over.

He really did need to sleep.

She shifted once more before she turned in his arms, facing him. He pulled back slightly and looked at her.

"You okay?" she asked as she ran a hand down his face.

"Yeah," he told her in a voice that sounded oddly foreign to him as one of his hands brushed her hair back.

She smiled at him and nodded softly, before her eyes dropped down to his lips.

"Okay," she nodded before she leaned in and met his lips tenderly with hers.

Sherlock's eyes fluttered shut as that familiarly unfamiliar electricity raged through his body as he returned the kiss, pulling her tighter to him.

He felt her smile into his lips as her hands snaked under his t-shirt, causing him to gasp slightly in surprise. She laughed as her hands explored his stomach and her lips dropped to his neck as she pushed him onto his back.

Sparks flew in his brain, hormones raged. He felt shaky, high, frightened, excited, intrigued; all at the same time.

He shut his eyes and clenched his jaw, trying to remain in control, which with Kylie's hands and lips as she pressed him onto his back, he was losing… quickly.

She sat up and looked at him for a moment, running her hands down his chest as she straddled him. His eyes met hers and in that moment, he knew he was screwed…. Royally and utterly screwed. He had zero control when it came to this woman, nor was he going to gain any quickly.

She took her hands from his chest and slowly removed her sweatshirt, tossing it to the floor, leaving her in just her camisole. Sherlock felt his mouth go dry as the tight, thin material hugged her body, revealing all of her curves and accenting her athletic frame.

He had seen women of all shapes and sizes. Some attractive to most men, some not, some clothed, some not clothed… and none. Not even Irene Adler came close in his mind to the perfect female form. In his eyes, that was this woman in front of him.

Its hormones and pheromones that she is excreting. Its physiologically effecting your brain. You know there is a rational explanation for this. She is a female. She has curves and two X chromosones. End of story.

Not this perfect. She's … gorgeous.

Gorgeous? Really? Now you are saying people are gorgeous? No. Its your hormone addled brain that is drunk and pulling you down. STAY RATIONAL.

No. I cant.

He didn't even realize he was moving until he saw his hand running down her body, watching her face as she shut her eyes and shivered with desire.

Seeing her face contort, something snapped inside of him, setting free something that had never been awoken before.

Yep. He was screwed… utterly and completely screwed.

Now there was no way he could ignore it.

His body was moving on its own now. He couldn't control himself. He sat up, not even realizing it until he felt his hand tangling itself her hair as he kissed her fiercely. She bit back a moan as her hands snuck under his shirt once more, raking her nailed down his back, causing him to give an involuntary shiver.

He broke the kiss and began trailing kisses down her neck, following the same pattern she had used on him. He felt her gasp as he found a certain sensitive spot on her neck, sending a pleasurable tingle through his body.

Gasping… he liked making her do that…

He smiled slightly as her hands tangled in his hair, pulling gently as he neared her collarbone. He found himself wanting to touch her skin, to feel more of her. Her skin was so soft, the memory of it was leaving him yearning to feel it again.

He didn't get much of a choice, as Kylie brought his mouth back up to hers, kissing him with a passion that made his head spin. He was so lost. He was drowning… Drowning in a sea of pleasure and fear. He had no idea what he was doing, yet it seemed so natural, so instinctual. As if the higher, rational being in him had disappeared and left his reptilian brain to fend for itself.

Her breath hit his ear as she kissed his neck once more, snapping every ounce of self-control that he had been clinging to desperately.

That's it.

His hands found their way under her camisole as he savored the soft skin of her stomach. He felt the taut muscles as she moaned slightly into his ear, causing him to shiver. He tried to ground himself once more as he tried to focus his mind and his hands on taking in the permanent memory, making their way up her torso. Memorizing, feeling every inch that he could.

Her nails dug into his shoulder before he felt her begin tugging on his t-shirt, but he ignored it. He was far too infatuated with her to even realize what was going on. Softness, her obliques, soft curves, yet tautness of an athlete. The large scar…

She stiffened and pulled away slightly, shutting her eyes as she tried to catch her breath.

He just looked at her in surprise as he panted, his brain kicking on immediately in worry. What had he done wrong?

She was silent for a minute. He didn't know what to do, he couldn't speak. All he could do was sit there and watch her, trying to figure out what had gone wrong.

"Sorry," she breathed as she ran a hand down his arm from his neck, "Dammit," she muttered, fisting his shirt as she cursed.

Sherlock just looked at her in complete confusion.

He was officially lost.

"I'm sorry," she told him, "God, I must be frustrating. I thought I was ready… I thought I could push it all out of my head, but apparently…"

She stopped talking as she felt a hand on her cheek; causing her to look up at the man whose lap she was sitting in.

"What are you talking about?" he asked her as his eyes searched hers.

Her face contorted from fear and frustration, to one of slight shock, making Sherlock even more puzzled.

"That I just put on the brakes…"

He looked at her, even more confused.

"Brakes?"

She just stared at him in silence for a moment before a small smile began to breakout over her face.

"Yeah, brakes. Things were heating up and I threw on the brakes."

Sherlock stared at her.

What in the hell was she talking about?

Heating up?

Brakes?

"Sex Sherlock," she told him with a small smile, "How we were on our way our way to having sex, and I stopped it all of a sudden."

He looked at her in slight surprise, "Oh… we were?"

She stifled a laugh and looked at him.

How could one man be so brilliant and yet so ignorant and innocent at the same time?

"Yeah… I mean, I would like to. I wanted to…badly," she told him, "I… I thought I could be okay, that I was ready for this step… but apparently I'm not."

"Thomas," Sherlock put together.

"Yeah," she muttered as she looked down. The lightness of Sherlock's innocence leaving her as Thomas reentered her mind, "You touched my scar, and it sent me back…"

Sherlock closed his eyes and kicked himself.

Her scar. That's what he had done wrong, he had touched her scar… the reminder of Thomas she has permanently etched into her.

He should have known…

Hormones were making him dumb.

"It's stupid," she told him as she ran a hand through her hair before toying with the hem of his sleeve avoiding his eye, "It's a scar. And I let it get in the way of what I want…"

"You ….want sex…?"

Kylie looked at him, slightly taken aback.

"Yeah, I mean… I want you. It's not necessarily sex itself, I just… just…" Kylie trailed off. She knew she couldn't spring this on him. He had only been back in her life for not even two weeks yet… but somehow, she knew she was falling for him. Quickly.

She didn't know how he was doing it, or how he managed to take this broken down, vulnerable girl that she had been, and helped her strengthen, become more confident, and know that she could in fact move on and be happy… being there when she doubted that.

She couldn't trust these feelings, let alone tell him how she was feeling. The man would run for the hill… not that she would blame him. She was a mess. Part of her still believed she was incapable of a real long-term relationship; that Thomas had ruined her. That he owned her. But all of her desperately wanted that part of her to be wrong.

"Just what?" he asked puzzled, bringing her out of her thoughts once more.

"Nothing," she told him, "I just want to be able to share that part of myself with you, and I can't yet. I thought I was ready, but I'm not. And I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

Kylie looked at him once more in amazement.

Dear God, he really was sincerely confused.

"I uh… got you… worked up…"

He narrowed his eyes at her, not following.

She blushed slightly, clearing her throat as she glanced down at his lap.

He glanced down as well, instantly realizing what she was referring to, and feeling his face redden with embarrassment. He didn't know what to do, other than look straight back up at the wall, avoiding her eye, as he tried to shift and hide it.

What in the hell was going on with him? He hadn't had this issue since puberty…

He heard her giggle for some mysterious reason and kissed his cheek, before hugging him tightly, refusing to move out of his lap, or let him shift out of her embrace.

"Don't be embarrassed," she told him quietly, with a hint of laughter in her voice, laying another kiss near his earlobe, "It's a compliment to me. Not to mention I was just as turned on as you were."

He tried not to shiver as her unseemingly husky words affected him straight to his very core.

She pulled back and ran a hand down his face as she looked at him once more, "Okay?"

He softened as he looked at her, trying to push back the things she was causing to erupt within him… things he had never experienced before.

"Okay," he muttered, nodding at her before he brought her face to his, kissing her once more.

This kiss was different than the one prior. It was slow, meaningful, full of forgiveness and understanding… much different than the frantic, passionate exploration that the last kiss had conveyed.

Neither wanted it to end, but it did, causing Kylie to press her forehead to his as they sat in silence for moment, just enjoying each other's company.

"God, we need to sleep," Kylie laughed lightly as she refused to move.

"Sleep is overrated," Sherlock muttered as his hands toyed with her hair.

Seriously? How did her hair manage to feel like silk?

She pulled back and looked at him.

"What?"

"Have you slept since we took this last case?"

"No, I was working," he responded as if it were common sense.

She stared at him for a moment before climbing off of his lap, causing him to frown as he suddenly felt cold, empty.

"What? Where are you going?" he asked as she went back to her side of the bed, getting under the covers.

"Sherlock, I'm exhausted, because the last time I slept was two days ago. The last time, you slept was five days ago."

Silence.

"So?"

"So, you need to sleep," she told him, "A lot of sleep. Its not healthy, and I am not going to be responsible for keeping you up."

He huffed and rolled his eyes before flopping back down onto the bed.

Kylie laughed slightly at his behavior as she scooted closer to him, laying on his chest. Sherlock's heart swelled before that warm electricity spread throughout his body once more.

Finally…

"Go to sleep," she told him as she started to draw those random shapes on his chest like she always did before his arm wove around her playing with the ends of her hair, "Even though you are acting like a child."

"Am not," he argued.

"Whatever," she joked as she shut her eyes and began to relax into sleep.

Sherlock just looked at her for a moment as he watched her fall asleep.

If he had to be honest with himself, he had no idea what he was doing. None. Whatsoever. He was not one to go into something without a plan. His mind was a computer, calculating, analyzing… and yet, this woman…

Every sane bone in his body, told him to run… run far far away from her. This woman was making him feel things that he had never felt… do things he had never done… tell her things that he had never told anyone… and yet, there was no way in hell he wanted to give it up, and he honestly didn't know why.

Something wrong with him… there was definitely something wrong with him…

Sappy, but I figured it would be good to get a little happiness in there after the depressing last few chapters.