A/N: The names scene was supposed to be a short comic relief. Yet here we are, 3000 words of terrible dialogue later... Thank you everyone for the suggestions. I couldn't come up with half of these alone \(*^.^*)/

(I hope I don't accidentaly offend anyone...)

Eren curiously glanced over Hanji's shoulder at the papers in her hands. There were three pages, all of them with two rows of name after name.

"This is what Connie and Sasha were helping you with?" he asked, reluctantly impressed with the amount they managed to come up with.

Hanji grinned. "Yes! It was so much fun, I hope you like them. Everyone added a name or two, though."

"Oh, great," Levi muttered from behind his desk quietly.

"Hush, you don't have a right to speak, grumpy," the scientist said sternly, obviously still not forgetting about the syphilis comment, as she handed Eren the first page.

The omega took a deep breath and started skimming through it. Soon, he was surprised to see the names on there were very normal. Boring even. Anna, Marie, Tom, Josef. So far the weirdest name was 'Řehoř'. He had no idea how he was even supposed to pronounce that.

By the time he was halfway through the first row, Levi joined him in looking at the paper, leaning on the couch behind him and resting his hands over his omega's shoulders casually, pressing one hand over his heart, and Eren felt a smile pull at his lips.

"Who the fuck thinks anyone is ever going to name any kid 'Sunshine'?"

Eren frowned in confusion. "Where do you see that?"

Levi pointed towards the top of the second row, where 'Sonneschein' stood plain as day and Eren made a face, looking at Hanji, who cocked her head to the side in thought. "I think that was Reiner?"

Levi rolled his eyes. "Great. It's always the big guys who come up with the cutest shit."

"Yeah, I thought it was pretty funny," Hanji chuckled.

As Eren returned to the list, it became apparent Hanji was just starting them off slow as right around Sonneshein, the real fun was beginning.

"Peaches?" he asked, trying not to laugh.

"That's Mikasa," Hanji said with a wide grin. "She was really serious about it, too."

"And let me guess; this one was Shitty Eyebrows."

"Which one?" Hanji asked moving on her hands and knees so she could lean over and look, too.

Levi pointed to 'Hope' before adding, "Probably said something along the lines of how it would be a good cover."

"How'd you know?" she asked in turn with fake surprise in her voice.

"Cover?" Eren asked, confused.

Hanji snorted, ruffling Eren's hair. "Because you're 'Humanity's Hope' and people would think we are talking about you."

Eren scowled. "Right, because when we say 'I need to change Hope's diapers', people will immediately think it's about me."

There was a beat of silence before Hanji burst out laughing, slapping her knee in the process. Even Levi dropped his head to hide in the crook of Eren's neck, shaking lightly.

Eren clicked his tongue, feeling slightly offended. "It's not funny."

"Oh it is," Levi said, his voice muffled but, surprisingly, sounding completely normal.

The omega huffed, set on ignoring both his mate and doctor.

"Oh hey, I actually like this one."

"Which?" Levi inquired, raising his head.

"Grice," Eren said pointing to the name in question.

The alpha hummed in contemplation. "Yeah, it sounds good. But now I have to wonder which one of the brats actually has normal ideas."

"Armin," Eren and Hanji said in unison.

"Figures," Levi muttered, shaking his head.

"Hey, you know which one I like?" Hanji asked innocently, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

The mates eyed her warily, but Hanji only smiled. "The third one from the bottom."

There was a beat of silence before, "I'm going to fucking murder the Horseface."

At that Hanji burst out laughing again, actually rolling off the couch and landing painfully on the floor, though that didn't stop her from continuing to chortle.

"I appreciate his guts," Levi muttered. "He could have been more creative though."

"His tiny horse brain probably didn't realize you'd see it, too. He'd be too scared to put this on here if he did."

"But seriously, 'Suicidal Dustpan'? Mike called us 'Short Temper' once. I appreciated that one more."

"He did what?" Eren squeaked in horror, his head whipping around to stare at his alpha, as Hanji got overwhelmed with a new wave of amusement, praising Mike to heaven.

Levi only shrugged, leaning over to pick up the second paper to replace the one in Eren's hands. "Wanna play 'guess who' with these names?" he asked instead, smirking.

Eren shook his head in disbelief, just as Hanji finally calmed down and joined him on the couch again. Her hair was a bigger mess than usual and her face was red from laughing, but she looked ready and eager to give the correct answers to them, so the omega turned to look at the paper as well.

"I'll go first," he announced with an evil smile a second later. "Megatron and Megaranger is Connie."

"That's two points to Eren!" Hanji cried, raising her hands in excitement.

Levi clicked his tongue. "Those were easy."

"Than try to catch up, if you're so smart," Eren said, sticking out his tongue.

The alpha scanned over the list and smirked as his eyes fell on one particular name. "This screams Hanji," he said, pausing to figure out what the name even was. "What the fuck is... Menthuthuyoupi anyway?" he asked, shooting Hanji a bemused look.

The beta just shrugged, grinning. "That's two to one for Eren. Gotta try harder to catch up, old man."

Levi rolled his eyes but before he could try a second time, Eren spoke up. "I guess Gertrude is Sasha's?"

Hanji's grin widened. "Nope. Krista's."

Both of them blinked, staring at Hanji blankly. "You're kidding," Eren wondered out loud.

"No, dead serious."

"Gertrude? And Krista? That's so... wrong," Eren made a face, completely thrown off by how the two didn't fit together.

"But Eulalie is Sasha for sure," Levi commented offhandedly.

"And we have a tie!" Hanji exclaimed like a tournament commentator. "Come on Eren, you can pull ahead again!"

The boy chuckled at her excitement, thinking hard while staring at the weird names. But then his eyebrows shot up. "Oh hey, there's a normal name here!"

"Where?"

"Tamerlane."

"That's a normal name?" Levi frowned, turning to look at his mate.

"You don't think it is?" Eren asked, frowning in return.

"Hell no. It's weird as shit."

"You're weird."

Levi opened his mouth to retort, before he caught himself. Were they seriously about to have a fight over whether a name was weird or not? He shook his head, ignoring the angry look focused on him as he rubbed a soothing circles into Eren's chest.

"Now here's a normal name," Levi mumbled and from the corner of his eyes he saw Eren narrow his eyes. "Natasha. It has a nice ring to it. Who made this one?"

Hanji crossed her arms with a pout. "You have to guess."

Levi rolled his eyes. "Fine. Nanaba."

"I think it was Bertholt," Eren tried, fake certainty in his voice.

Hanji looked at them both, disappointment evident on her face. "You're both wrong. It was Ymir."

"Interesting," Levi muttered as Eren hummed in agreement, looking at the list again in thought.

"Nice, I found a Sasha streak!" he perked up a moment later.

"Seriously?" the alpha frowned, trying to find what his mate was talking about, but not seeing anything.

"Right here," he said with laughter in his voice. It was funnier the longer he looked at it. "These four at the end."

He felt Levi shake his head slightly. "I still don't see it."

"You gotta think like Sasha. Look," the omega went to explain, pointing to the first name on the short list he pointed out. Potto, it said. "This is obviously 'potato' without an A. This one." He moved his finger down one name and continued, "Stev is just 'stew' with a V instead of W. Carrol is 'carrot' with an L. And looking at the pattern, Brad-"

"Is fucking 'bread' without E," Levi finished with a groan, dropping his head into the crook of Eren's neck once again, but this time it was to hide his exasperation instead of amusement. The other laughed out loud, petting Levi's head where it rested against him in mock-comfort. "I guess that explains the 'Met' on the first page."

"Oh yeah, now that you mention it," Eren mumbled, picking up the first paper again, looking for said 'name'. He could only shake his head in half amazement and half amusement. Although he'll have to have a talk with his friend. He was not naming their kid after any sort of food, no matter how sneaky she thought she was and no matter how delicious the food.

"Wait, really?" Hanji asked, crowding Eren again, staring at the four name suggestions with a frown. "I didn't even notice. She swore up and down those were legit names."

Eren let out a bark of laughter. "Seriously?"

Hanji nodded, a pout appearing in place of her frown. "Yeah, she said Stev was a local variant of Steven in their village."

Levi blinked at her. "And you honestly believed her?" he wondered, raising an eyebrow.

Hanji huffed and crossed her arms defiantly. She didn't answer though.

Eren smiled, putting the two papers aside and reaching for the last one. Out of the corner of his eyes he noticed Hanji observing his action carefully as she chewed on her bottom lip lightly. He frowned, wondering what was wrong as he scanned the rest of the long, long list. He didn't see anything too terrible there, but just as he was about to ask, he felt Levi tense behind him.

"Hanji," he growled, a clear warning in his voice.

"I know!" the beta cried, raising her hands up in a placating gesture. "I know, Levi okay? Just... I thought it might be a good idea. At least consider it, please?"

There was a tense moment of silence where nobody dared to move. Finally, Levi sighed deeply, straightening up to flex his neck and both Eren and Hanji started breathing again. "Fine, I'll think about it."

"Thank you," Hanji said quietly, looking at Levi with a soft smile.

Eren, deeming it safe to speak up now that Levi walked around the couch to sit on the arm next to him, glanced between the two of them. "Okay, what was this about?"

Hanji's teeth sank into her bottom lip anew. She wasn't looking at him when she pointed towards the middle of the first row on the paper. Eren only skimmed through them so he didn't realize before, but there it was. Isabel and Farlan, Levi friends who died during their first mission. Kuchel, Levi's mother. Carla and Grisha, Eren's parents.

Eren gulped loudly, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. Immediately Levi's hand went to the back of his neck to bury itself in his hair and lightly scratch there in an effort to calm him down. The omega fought the urge to lean into his mate's touch as he looked at Hanji, who was still avoiding looking him in the eyes. "Hanji, I..." the beta looked up, uncertain of what he was about to say. "Thank you." He felt himself blush when Hanji gaped at him, but he continued. "It was really nice to suggest something like this." He looked away, clutching the paper in his hands.

Hanji put a hand on his forearm and squeezed gently, so he peeked up at her to see her smiling the most gentle smile, before she stood up and stretched. "Well, I think you two have loads of ideas for a name so take your time picking a good one," she grinned back at them as usual, as if the minutes before never happened, "though I personally hope you chose Argonautus."

Levi snorted, muttering a "Yeah, right" as Hanji laughed at Eren's expression before leaving them with a reminder that the afternoon training was starting soon.

The mates exchanged a glance before, "I still think Tamerlane would be a nice name."

Levi groaned, shoving at Eren as he got up to head back to his desk to put his 3DMG back together and clean up, leaving a laughing Eren behind on the couch.

It was a few days later at dinner when Nanaba approached Levi at their squad's table with a few papers in hand.

"Levi, it's your squad's turn on supply duty, right? I got the list of things we need."

Levi put his tea cup down as several heads perked up and turned in his and Nanaba's direction. Supply duty was everyone's favorite as you got to go to town and fool around for a bit, as well as do some shopping for yourself alongside the stuff you were actually there for. Unfortunately, it was a job for two, maybe three people depending on how much shopping was needed. And even more unfortunately, it was found early on some people couldn't be trusted with this amount of responsibility.

Sasha tended to lose reason and blow every bit of the money she was handed on food. Connie lost the money once. Armin and Bertholt were too meek and ended up either ripped off by the vendors or buying things the corps didn't actually need in a quality the corps definitely didn't need. Ymir was the exact opposite, buying the first thing she came across regardless its quality and then ruthlessly bargaining. She already had such a reputation that most of the vendors outright refused to sell her anything. (Not that she minded much, she found shopping much too bothersome unless Krista was with her.)

So Levi ignored the sparkles in Sasha and Connie's eyes or the eager grin on Ymir's face as she eyed Krista, who was looking at him with polite expectation. Indeed, it was often Krista who was sent on these errands, accompanied usually by Eren, Mikasa, as she was a bargainer more efficient than Ymir, since her angelic smile and exceptionally polite demeanor made everyone love her, no matter how much money she mercilessly deprived them off. It was actually pretty scary. Eren and Mikasa were there just to help carry the stuff, a job Reiner or Jean would be a good option for as well. However, Ymir would always throw a fit if it was Reiner and Jean would throw a fit that he was no mule (Eren always begged to differ which would then result in a fight between the two), and Levi couldn't be bothered with none of that shit.

And since sending Eren was out of the question, Krista and Mikasa it was this time.

Levi nodded to Nanaba, reaching out. "Give it here, they'll get the shit."

Something flashed in Nanaba's eyes as she handed one of the papers over. Levi took it, lingering on her face with his eyes for a moment, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary in her expression. Levi must have imagined it.

"Thanks," he muttered, glancing over the paper – and freezing. "Nanaba, what the fuck."

At that Nanaba burst out laughing, making several people in the mess hall turn their way. Levi fought the urge to scrunch the paper up and feed it to her, before going to find Hanji and strangle her.

"Sorry, sorry," Nanaba said finally, wiping away tears as her voice still shook with amusement. "Here's the actual list." She handed over the real shopping list, taking back the copy of the baby names suggestions Hanji gave her.

Levi clicked his tongue as he angrily snatched the paper, immediately handing it over to Mikasa, who was, much to his displeasure, hiding behind her scarf with eyes dancing with mirth.

"For future reference, my favorites are Vivren and Kash," she winked, snickering as she walked away.

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, while Eren blushed slightly upon realizing what that first paper was; more when others started whispering amongst each other about baby names and what their ideas were. Eren was once again surprised to see Mikasa passionately defend her Peaches. Only Jean stayed silent, as he wasn't exactly eager for a repeat of the stable duty he was subjected to as a result of his suggestion.

"Okay, brats." Levi brought their attention back to himself when he had had enough of the discussion that was getting louder and louder. They all shut up immediately, sitting at attention. Satisfied, the alpha continued, "Mikasa and Krista will be going tomorrow morning to town. No this is not up to discussion, Sasha." The beta in question visibly deflated and Connie patted her back in consolation. "The rest of you are having your training as usual. Any questions?"

A round of "No sir," resounded around the table and Levi nodded in satisfaction before he noticed Eren was looking at him uncertainly.

"Uhm..." he let out quietly, raising a hesitant hand.

Levi blinked at him in surprise. "Yes, Eren?" he prompted, bringing everyone's attention to the omega.

Eren fidgeted uncomfortably before he took a deep breath. "Sir, may I go to town as well?"

Levi narrowed his eyes at his pregnant mate. He should know damn well that no, he may not. "Why?" he asked instead.

Eren shrunk under his intense gaze that obviously said no even though the alpha didn't say it out loud. "Well, I have a new uniform but I need casual clothes, too."

"The girls will get some for you."

Mikasa nodded in agreement, obviously as unwilling to let him come as their Captain. Eren shot her a glare but she only looked at him impassively.

Eren lowered his voice as he pleaded his case. "It's not as easy, sir. They don't know the correct size, hell I don't know it. It needs to be lose but not too lose. I need to try it on."

"Sir, it looks like Eren really needs it," Armin came to Eren's aid and suddenly Eren wanted to kiss his best friend. "You can always go with him to keep an eye on him. So he doesn't shift in the middle of the market," the beta added quickly, aware of their location.

There was a long moment of silence as Levi and Eren stared at each other with the squad looking on with bated breath. But finally the Captain relented, saying it would be Mikasa, Krista, Eren, and him who'd be going after all.

The omega shot Armin a grateful look, to which the blond beta returned a thumbs up, and promised to himself to buy him something nice in town.

And then, looking at Levi's unhappy frown, he thought he'd have to buy something for his mate as well.

A/N: Yes, I got a bit carried away there ^^;; I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

I case you're wondering, the actual name (and gender of the child) is still on trial. As in, I still have no idea.