Chapter 24

Just Let Me In

After that, I sit down with Jack and tell him everything. While I do this, I wait for his eyes to clear, for him to sit up straight, and say, "I remember that!" But all through my story, nothing happens. He just stares at me, enraptured by the tale — like that is just what it is: a tale.

Not something that really happened.

"So you're saying . . . ," he says, "that Ash is my brother but he's having anger issues now, Asta is my sister, but she's dying, and you were once my crush, and you're fine. Is that right?"

"Not exactly how I would have worded it, but yes."

"That's . . . wow," he says. "I can't . . . I can't believe I still don't remember. I thought that once you told me, that I would remember everything. That it would all come rushing back. But I don't. I don't remember anything."

I don't tell him I hoped the same thing, and that I am disappointed, too. Probably not as disappointed as he is, though. He barely knows who he is.

"Jack . . . ," I say, "can you show me your power?"

"Sure." He grins. "It's fun to use."

In the privacy of my room, he stands up, waves his staff about and ice spurts out of the end, bursting into small fireworks. Well, iceworks.

"That's amazing," I say. "How did you . . . ?"

But I know the answer. When I froze Jack's heart, I must've transferred some of myself into him. That's why he has white hair now, that's why he has blue eyes now, that's why he has the same powers as I do.

He is a new, better Elsa without the insecurities and the worries and all the pent-up emotions. He is definitely a better version than I am.

If he is virtually me . . . does that mean I can't hurt him?

But what would it be like to fall in love with someone that no one else can see or hear?

I don't care, I think fiercely. I love Jack. If that's the way it is, that's the way it is.

But if he's not exactly like me; if he still carries human traits . . . maybe I can hurt him.

"Jack," I call out, and he stops playing with his powers. "I want to try something."

He leans his staff by my bed, and walks over to me. Carefully, I touch his hand. He stares at me with his blue eyes, wondering what I am doing. I don't say anything as ice starts to appear, arcing its way up his arm.

"What are you doing?" he asks, and he starts to laugh. "That's cold and it tickles!"

"Just hold still," I say.

The ice starts crossing his shoulder . . . and then his neck . . . up his chin.

I draw my hand away.

I can't let it reach his head, like I did with Anna.

Jack shakes himself to try and get the ice off, but it stays put. "This is getting really cold," he says, and he shivers.

It's then that I know.

My heart sinks.

"Just a minute," I say, and I think of love. How I love Anna, my parents. How I love Jack.

The ice thaws until it's gone completely.

"What was that for?" Jack asks.

"Jack," I say, "I have to tell you something."

"What?" He leans forward, and I turn away, still unused to his blue, blue, icy blue eyes.

"I'm not in love with you," I say, forcing each word out one by one. "I'm in love with Ash now. I'm with him."

"I know you said that before," Jack says, laughing, "but you don't really love him. I can see it in your eyes: you still love me."

"No," I say, and now I look into Jack's eyes to send the message home, "I don't." I repeat, "I'm. In. Love. With. Ash. Now."

Jack pulls back. "You don't mean that," he says, but his voice displays the hurt inside him.

He's starting to believe me now.

I play my last card. "Jack . . . I was never in love with you. You made me happy, I admit it, but in the end, you were just distraction. It's Ash. It's always been Ash."

"No," Jack says hoarsely, "no! Elsa . . . I know I haven't known you long . . . well, as long as I remember, but I love you. Elsa, I've been with you all day long, all those talks we've had. . . . Elsa, you are the first person to be able to see and hear me! That must mean something! You can't just throw that all away!"

"Yes, I can," I say. "I have no regrets in this, Jack. I'm the queen."

"You're just a girl playing dress-up with a robe and crown," he spits out. He grabs his staff from the bed, and walks toward the window. Opening it, he gives me one last look, then flies off.

I sit down on my bed, and I let the tears flow.

Let it go, I it go.

Let him go.

Author's Note: Aw, Elsa. When will you learn? (That question could pertain to many things, couldn't it?) Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! I'd love it if you gave me some feedback. :D

- J. Dom