Evelyn

It's been two months since Tobias was born and nothing has changed between Marcus and I. I thought that maybe the thought of his infant son being in the next room would stop his abuses but of course I was wrong. And besides taking care of an infant, I still have to keep up with my daily chores. It's grueling and very stressful when there is only an hour left before the monster comes home and you've spent half the day trying to get the 2 month old to sleep.

Today is one of those awful days. To begin my day I was awoken to Marcus screaming at me because one of his grey shirts had a speck of throw up from where Tobias projectile vomited yesterday. A couple of punches and kicks later, Tobias woke up and stayed up the whole day, sobbing and thrashing in my arms. His forehead is dangerously warm and I knew something was wrong. He usually is a quiet baby besides the occasional outburst from a dirty diaper or him needing food. So I guess today also wasn't one of my son's best days either.

As the day got worse and Tobias's fever grew I started to panic because if he was deadly ill, I couldn't leave. I had to wait for Marcus because that was his major rule since his reign of tyranny started. So I waited. And waited.

Time passed and Marcus was still not home. And Tobias was getting worse by the minute. Finally I said screw it and grabbed my coat with a thin blanket to go and wrapped my sobbing infant into it. I raced to the Abnegation infirmary and was promptly helped by a nurse. But before I could do anything they were taking my baby away and I was left to wait outside.

I paced and paced, gnawing on my fingernails which I have discovered is a new habit due to waiting for Marcus.

"Hello May. Can you tell me where my family is?" A familiar voice says a foot away from me. I turn and see my husband, my terror.

I turn just as the nurse is pointing at me and I freeze. I don't know what he will do to me. He comes up and acts like a concerned father for a second and he moves me to sit. When we do, he whispers," what the hell do you think you are doing. I told you to never leave home."

" I know you don't care but our son had a high temperature. I had to take him here for medical care and I was tired of waiting around for you." I answer as I grow even more nervous. I don't know what he will do at home but right now I care more about my baby and the fact that the doctor is approaching me with a hard face concerns me.

The doctor comes and we stand, Marcus shaking the doctor's hand. I ask," how is my son doctor?"

The doctor says," he is stable now but he has a very bad cold that I fear might be an infection from a cut on his arm. He will have to stay here for a. Outlet of days but he should make a full recovery."

A cut on his arm? I didn't see anything...oh no. Two days ago Marcus was having one of his moments and pushed me into the door while I was holding Tobias. He must have gotten cut from a splinter or something. How could I not see it?

" thank you doctor." My husband says and the doctor leave. Marcus turns to me angrily and says," how stupid are you?"

" stop. Whatever you are going to do to me can it wait? I need to see my baby."

I start to walk away and he grabs my elbow.

" You don't get to walk away from me. "

Some people look our way. One woman is in Erudite blue and eyes us suspiciously. I sneer at my husband," People are staring. Wouldn't want that perfect reputation to be ruined."

He lets go and I walk to the children's section of the hospital. In a small room, there is my son. He is in a little crib hooked up with fluids and a little breathing tube. He looks so small and pale that I start to tear up. I let this happen. I sworn that I would protect him and I failed. I cry a little harder and sit down in a chair. He will be ok but what am I going to do? Marcus can give a flying shit about his son and he is all I have. Everyday that I am broken and beaten I remember him and he reminds me not to give up. He gives me strength even if he is too young to notice it.

I stay in the room all night and every other night afterwards until he is released with some medicine. At home I carefully set him down in his crib and close his door as he drifts off to sleep. I walk downstairs and wait. I wait for my punishment from Marcus. I sit on the chair right by the door and wait.

He comes through the door and he says," So Tobias is better? Good."

" Can we get this over with? I know you're just dying to hit me because I disobeyed you. But what I don't get is why are you punishing me for helping our child. He is only two months old and you are barely with him. I didn't even want him but it was your choice to rape me without protection. So I don't get why your punishing him for his existence when you helped with it."

He comes closer and says," Because you are paying him more attention you are with me and your duties. You need to pleasure me and clean the house. And you have been failing at each. So from now on you do both I those first before you take care of our son. You said you didnt want him so why do you care about him. And if you don't do those things maybe Tobias will have a longer visit in the hospital."

" Don't you dare touch him!"

I snap as I slap Marcus and I push him away from me.

" Do whatever you want with me but leave him alone. "

Marcus glares at me and says," you got a month to change."

I thought that when I had the baby that maybe Marcus would hold him and something magical would happen and he would go back to being the man I fell in love with and be a good father. I wanted this child to be my fresh start. But now I know that it changed nothing and if not anything made things worse.