There was dull ache in his head as he stared forward. Hands clenched and face tight as he watched the wall and felt his mother's eyes on him.
"England."
"Yes."
"When did I agree to go to school there?"
He finally looked at her taking in her calm demeanor and slight nod as she answered. "Before the accident. We had an agreement. You said that you would go to England if I gave you something in return. I promised."
"Enough. I don't need to know." He did need to know, but every time she mentioned it that pain shot through his head. The same when he tried to remember the last year. The same from when he saw that obnoxious girl.
The only thing he hated more then not being able to remember the last year, was that girl and how she just kept coming up. All of his friends seemed to know her and be more on her side than his. If she wasn't barging into his hospital room they were asking if he remembered her yet. He didn't, the pain only got worse. Even worse when he tried to look at her.
The way she looked at him hurt. He hadn't seen her since he discharged from the hospital in July but with the way his friends were still bringing her up he had a feeling she would continue to be a presence if he stayed in New York. If he needed to go to England to get away from her, he damn sure would.
They were gathered in the bakery. Ian, Gail, Jackson, Benny and Eve. They had decided that they could no longer ignore Jared's memory and its refusal to try to remember just like they couldn't avoid Janie moping around the Laundromat. Jared's injury had occurred in June, it was now a week shy of August with no changes in Jared.
Each of them had tried to cheer her up in their own turn. Jackson had let her know that she had gotten the acceptance letter from NYU as well as responses from the slew of scholarships she had applied for. Of course, it still wouldn't cover the full cost but it was a dent and what she had hoped for. There were loans to cover the rest. Still, she remained the same. Distant.
Benny was perpetually stopping by the bakery to buy treats for his sisters and even took her to work on some paperwork at NYU, since he was going to business school there. He did his best to make it a treat, grabbing lunch, joking about having way too many siblings. But it did little for her.
Gail remained a constant presence around her like the best friend she truly was. She had no sweet words, just a barrage of others things to talk about and games she just had to try out with her. Janie smiled and laughed through it all, but as soon as she thought Gail wasn't looking she crumpled like a wet paper bag. It was no good.
The only person who hadn't done much was Eve, she didn't have much capacity for comfort. Instead, she had tried laying down some hard truths about love and loss and how it was for the best to get out now. That had been the only night Janie left work without Eve protesting an unscheduled departure.
Ian had been the only one who could really bear to go see Jared in the hospital, and then at his apartment, so he would visit her carrying along whatever news the day had brought. Mostly it was that he was improving in physical therapy until he told her what day he was being discharged. The newest bit was something Ian hadn't had the heart to pass on.
"So Jared told me that he's still planning on studying in England. His mother explained that they had agreed on it before everything happened but apparently he still wants to go. Says there's no real reason not to, even though he doesn't want to know what had made him agree in the first place. So,"
He didn't get to finish his thought. The bakery door opening drew all of their attention, especially when they saw that it was Janie stepping out of the heat.
"What the hell is this?"
"Janie,"
"No," she waved a hand, silencing Gail more harshly then she wished to. "What is this? A secret intervention? For what?"
Ian shrugged. "We thought you lost your fight. Especially after you said you weren't coming to his good bye party."
"And?"
Ian looked away, Benny was doing the same and that just left Jackson to speak. "We were trying to figure out what we could do to help."
"Nothing. There's nothing you can do. I haven't given up, I've been defeated. I tried everything. There's nothing else to do. I know it must be easier for you all to accept this if you think I just needed to try harder but its not. He's the one who didn't try. He won't look at me and that's on him, not me. If you want to intervention someone, go bother him you cowards!"
She spun on her heel and slammed the door behind her. Stepping into the afternoon heat and letting it boil her blood did nothing to soothe her anger. She was angry, just because she wasn't showing it didn't mean it wasn't there. Janie hated having to take it out on her friends, she knew they meant to help not hurt, but she was so angry and there was no time for it. Or place.
If she let the anger eat at her she couldn't hide it from her family. While she hated to let it out on her friends, they would survive. Doing the same with her family wasn't fair. Her brothers were already angry. They felt betrayed and confused. Jared hadn't just forgotten her, but her entire family. They got their anger from her and she didn't want to fan those flames with her own distress.
When they asked her why Jared didn't remember, she didn't have a good answer. She could tell them that the doctors still had no idea when his memory would return or if it even would.
In the beginning, in the first few weeks, she had tried so hard to help him remember. She still remembered so vividly the first time she went back after the disastrous discovery of his memory failing. That day she had been ready for the initial rejection, but still hoped it would jog something in his brain. Janie had thrown open the hospital door, stomped into the room and towered over where he still sat in bed. Trying to muster all the ferocity that he seemed to so enjoy when they were dating she had stared him down.
"Ya, Pullman. You remember me now." For a second, she thought it had done something. He had scowled at her standing there with her hands on her hips eyes bright and challenging.
But it didn't work. "Get out of here you crazy bitch."
"Who are you to tell me where I can go? You don't own me Pullman, but you do know me. Now wake up your pint sized brain and remember me you bastard!"
"Get lost!"
` She took a fierce step forward. "You look me in the eye and tell me you don't know me. We've been through a lot. Just try." He stared ahead, jaw tight and determined and remained silent. "I said try you idiot!"
But he wouldn't, he stared past her even when she pushed him in bed and he took a swing at her. A water pitcher was thrown, they yelled more and eventually the nurse arrived and called security.
Janie had never been kicked out of hospital before. The next day, she went back calmer, prepared to be the more understanding of the two. It didn't go any better, and still ended with a broken nightstand, shattered hospital phone, and security. The next time she arrived more determined then ever to set him straight, but she didn't get the chance. Just as she reached the door another girl stopped her.
"Oh, are you one of Jared's friends?" She was Janie's height, but curvier with straight black hair and dark eyes.
Janie frowned. "Kind of, we were but…"
"I see, you're the one his friends talked about. That he dated but can't remember right."
"That's right."
"Well, I'm Annabelle. One of the hospital volunteers. We've become friends and I can talk to him if you like."
She shook her head. "You don't have to do that. I'm just gonna try to talk with him again, see if that helps any." Janie turned to grab the door but was surprised to find Annabelle stepping in her way. "What are you doing?"
"I'm sorry, it's just. It upsets him. I don't think it's a good idea."
"I do. He needs to remember me."
"What if he doesn't?" Annabelle paused, biting her lip as Janie stared her down. "What I mean is, he started to remember some things but not you. Maybe he doesn't want to remember. Just think about it, oh. Security's here."
They had been, and they promptly dragged her out of the hospital and told her that if she tried to bother Jared Pullman again they would call the police. That didn't stop her from trying once more. At that point Jared was out of bed so their physical altercation was much louder, harsher and violent. Security assured her that she would be charged with assault but by the time the cops dropped her off outside her apartment they sheepishly told her that the charges had been dropped by Jared Pullman's mother. At that point, Janie didn't even care why she did it.
Her last attempt had been quite the Hail Mary. The doctors had said something about how you could help someone recover their memory by engaging other senses. Taste seemed like the best bet. They didn't have any songs and clearly her voice had done nothing to him. Sight had failed as well. Touch was a clear disaster and she just smelled like deodorant. That left taste.
Janie had spent a day in the bakery making exact replicas of the cupcakes she had made for Jared on Valentine's day. He had loved them. So she was careful to use the same ingredients to get the same flavor and design. Janie couldn't be there when he ate them, there was no way Octavia could keep bailing her out of trouble. Especially when she didn't even know why she did it in the first place.
She had to put her hope in the fact that the taste would be enough. So she waited until the middle of the night and snuck into the hospital. She walked through the hallways like she belonged and by combination of luck and boldness she made it to his room.
It was dark inside, she could barely see. It took a few moments for her eyes to adjust before slowly making her way towards him. He was lying in bed, bandages finally off his head leaving his curls free to spiral over the pillow. She placed the box carefully on the nightstand. There was no note, just a poem tucked under the string wrapped around the box.
There was laughter in the hallway, one of the nurses surely making rounds. That meant there wasn't much time left. Still, she lingered one more second. Janie took that last step between her and the bed and carefully leaned over Jared.
"Jared," Her voice was as soft as she could manage, but she moved just a little closer. Hoping that her words would reach some part of his subconscious where she might still linger. "Remember me. Remember Janie. Remember she love you, you idiot."
But he didn't. He discharged home from the hospital and that girl kept visiting him and he never asked for her. Not in the weeks that he had been home. Her angry thoughts had carried her close to home as the sun beat down on her. She stopped a block from the Laundromat, focusing on the sweat on her skin and how thick her breath felt in the heat, instead of Jared.
When the engine roared next to her before dying she tried to ignore it, like one got use to ignoring such sounds in New York. But the bright yellow caught her eye as she prepared to move on. So did the slim woman with cropped hair who stepped out of the driver's side door and met her on the sidewalk.
"Hey Helen."
"Hey girlie, it's been awhile." Janie laughed as Helen latched on to her with a giant embrace. When they finally broke apart she was still smiling broadly at Helen's excitement. "Let's talk."
Jared stared at the box in her lap. "What's this?"
Annabelle frowned. "Cupcakes, you said to make cupcakes like the ones I made in the hospital. Every batch is different. I thought you'd like them."
He was still frowning as he unwrapped one and took a bit. He immediately put it down. "It's bad. They were better in the hospital. Why didn't you make the faces again?"
"That's so mean. I worked so hard." He doubted it. The swirls of icing were splotchy and misshapen and the taste was chalky. The cake was dense and bland. They tasted nothing like the light and fluffy cupcakes with his faces doodled on them. They'd been amazing and he had devoured the entire dozen over the course of his last day in the hospital. They had done something to him, made him feel a thousand times better. Like everything was going to work out.
When Annabelle had come by he had thanked her. Who else would have brought them? She had said she made them, smiling brightly as she tossed her hair over her shoulder. He wanted to say she lied, he knew she had. But she was mad. She tossed the box down and started to leave.
"Wait, don't. I'm sorry. Just stay here alright."
"Really?"
"Yeah." No, not at all. You lied and it makes me sick, that's what he wanted to say. But she was walking back towards him and pushing dark strands of hair of out of her face. It made him feel a little better. But not enough. Something was missing. Something he just couldn't place.
"So he's finally gone too far."
"God, that's not it. Why doesn't anyone get that." Janie and Helen had been talking for hours. They had perched on the wall of the roof over the laundromat as they ignored the relentlessly bright sun. "It's not even his fault. But it is. I don't know. I made him cupcakes. I was mean, I was sweet. I did everything but he still can't look at me. I don't know. It's like he doesn't want to. But maybe that's not his fault."
"And what does that mean?"
She tried to shrug but her words were not exactly shruggable. "We went through so much, most of it bad. The good times we had were few and far between. God, our last moment together before the accident was me telling him I didn't love him. Maybe it was too painful. Maybe this is better for him."
"That's such bullshit."'
"Helen,"
"No, damnit Janie. That's so 's not how amnesia works. He didn't choose to forget you, it just happened. He could still remember. Okay?"
"Sure Helen."
"But you'll always have me."
Helen smile sweetly and Janie couldn't help but return it. "Thanks."
"You're welcome. But I better go. I need to get out of town before this godforsaken party. I'll see Jared in London. You should go though, really Janie."
"I'll think about it."
"Good. I'll see you later, on a better day Miss Doe."
He stared at the poem while Annabelle stared at herself. She was looking at herself in the mirror and spinning, watching the silky forest green dress puff out as she moved. When she turned around to look at him he lifted the paper lightly in his hand.
"Can you say it for me?"
"Say what?"
He lifted the paper again. "The poem. I've been reading it and I think I've heard it before. Can you say it?"
"Sure, let me see." Annabelle stepped towards him but he pulled back, leaving her hand outstretched and her face confused. "What?"
It hurt, his head was starting to hurt but he pushed through it. "I remember someone reading this poem. I think it was the same someone who made those cupcakes. That must be you. Say it."
"Which poem?"
"The one left with the cupcakes."
Annabelle laughed, a tight laugh. He hated it. "I can hardly remember, I've read so many. The party should be starting any minute. Let's do it after. Okay?"
She didn't wait but headed for the door with a smile and a wave for him to follow. He did, but he didn't want to let it go. The person who had read the poem had loved him. It wasn't Annabelle, and if it wasn't her, who was it?
She felt dumb. She was doing something dumb people did. One last chance for love? It was so clichéd and ridiculous. But her she was. Mingling at Jared's good bye party while he talked to that hospital girl and ignored everyone else. Janie couldn't stand watching it. She knew the others were nearby and ready to offer her support but she didn't want that.
So instead she wondered off by herself. The house they were having the party at was the same one from Celeste's party. That was nice. It meant Janie knew her way around and this time it wasn't full of her newly met classmantes she despised. Just strangers she didn't care to know.
As she made her way through the house she saw Benny mingling effortlessly as was his nature. Ian and Gail had already disappeared, she didn't want to be a part of that even if she was in the mood to talk with them. Jackson and her had already talked. He had been her reintroduction wingman, which was Jackson's plan.
"He may recognize you if he sees you here." It wasn't the worse assumption, but it still hadn't been true. Jared had given her the same indifferent half glance as Annabelle greeted her sweetly. It pissed her off and for a moment, she thought Jared was uncomfortable too until he happily left with her.
He had tried to stay with her, telling her they could try again later. But she just couldn't. She had left him behind and he had let her go. She serpentined through the house and her feet took her out the back of the house and into the humid night air. She tugged at her jeans but bore the heat, thankful for her thin black tank top. It may not have been party appropriate but it was her. And yes, she had hoped that maybe if Jared saw her at this house in her old jeans it would do something.
But it didn't, just like everything else she had tried. There was such a terrible ache in her chest that she couldn't stand. Instead, Janie took a seat on the grass and thought back to what she had said to Helen. At the time it had been mostly frustration but now it made more sense. Maybe there had been too much bad in their relationship. Too many punches thrown, too many arguments. Way too many near death experiences. She'd been shot for god's sake, and he had been hit by a car in South Korea! They were a disaster. But she had loved every beautiful second. The way he smiled. The way he wrapped her up in his arms. The way he was honest and good and surprisingly innocent.
Janie had made plans while she was away. Dreams of what they could have been if they could have been together. That she would have become a lawyer for their company. A great one. He would have become a successful CEO. The kind that was fair to employees and friends alike. She'd even made plans for a wedding, as embarrassing as that was to admit even to herself. It was a maybe-someday plan. A simple wedding, with just a few friends and family. They could even invite her grandparents. And they could have kids. Lots of them. Curly haired boys and rough n' tumble girls. Make Helen the cool Aunt and her sibling ridiculous aunts and uncles themselves. He would be such a good dad. Such a loving husband. He may not have been nice, like Annabelle thought, but he was good. And she had thought he would always be hers.
But she had been wrong. The pain in her chest was worse and she had to move. She stood and wandered back towards the house. The party must have been dying down because there was no one outside by the pool anymore. Of course, the sun was long gone and the moon was high but there were still people wandering past the back glass doors.
Janie focused on the pool, lit only by a light set in the wall. She watched the still water and waited for the ache to subside so she could go inside to find the others.
Then there was a grunt behind her. She recognize it as she spun around to stare at Jared sitting in a chair in the half shadows. He stood suddenly when he recognized her. "Sorry."
"Wait!" Jared froze, and stared at her wide eyed as she gestured quickly to his hand. "What's that?"
"Nothing."
"Is that, a poem?"
His eyes widened. "How did you know?"
"I do not love you except because I love? In this part of the story I am the one who dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you. Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood."
He was finally looking at her, really staring at her as his chest began rising faster and faster with his quickened breath. "How did you know that?"
"It's one of my favorites. I've recited it before, for you. Only for you." He looked like a deer in headlights.
"I don't remember that."
"How about this?" Janie reached her hands up to the back of her neck and carefully unclasped her necklace. She reclasped it before slipping her fingers through the chain and holding it out towards him. "Look at it."
Jared was still hesitant, on edge, but he still reached for it and once he was close enough she pulled back her hand so he had to lunge to grab the chain and keep it from falling.
"I know this. I've held this." His voice was a whisper but his brow was tight and slowly he began to shake his head. "No, that's not right. Take it back."
She took a step back hands held up by her head. "No, you gave it me. I'm giving it back."
"I don't want it!"
"Why? Because it hurts? I know it does. Just like I know you love the stars and can pilot a plane. That you don't know what to do on a date or how to be tactful. I know that it hurts to look at me Jared because it hurts me when I look at you. Here," She pounded on her chest where it hurt, she just couldn't help it.
"What do you want?"
"I want you to say my name. Say it."
He shook his head. "No, I don't know it. Take it back."
"Never."
"Take it!"
"No Pullman!" He stepped towards her arms outstretched and she jumped back too quickly. Her sneaker caught on the stones of the patio. The last thing she saw was his face caught in surprise as she tumbled back. Not to the patio, but into the water.
His hand was out but he didn't know why. That crazy bitch. She had known that poem. Recited it like a grocery list and then forced a necklace on him. And then she just tripped and fell into the pool? It didn't make sense. Nothing did.
He didn't know her. Did he? He didn't want to, but that wasn't true either.
She wasn't swimming. This strange girl with her necklace he had felt before and her words that rang like a familiar rhyme. He had watched her flip, body crashing into the edge of pool which sent her feet in the air and head into the pool wall as she sank into the water.
How did she know about his pilot license? About the stars? How did she knew he'd never been on a date? Why did she have his necklace? Why was she in a pool when she couldn't swim well?
Janie.
Who was she? She had hair, like Annabelle. No wait. Annabelle had hair like her. He liked it, that's what he liked about her, but he didn't know why! There were people coming out on the deck. Someone was calling for him. A girl. But it wasn't her. She was still at the bottom.
Janie couldn't swim. Not in the ocean.
What ocean? When had they gone to the ocean? When had they gone stargazing together? When had they touched and kissed and fought?
Jackson was next to him. He was saying something, telling everyone else to wait. He heard someone say his name again, Annabelle. He didn't care.
There was a puzzle piece missing. He remembered the ocean. The sand. He remembered a worn jacket under his arm. Scissors slicing through long ebony hair. Lights on a rooftop. Seatbelts in his car. A stained back pack. A crying girl in a blue dress. His crying girl. His girl.
Janie.
"Janie!" He hit the water like an anvil and pushed to the bottom of the pool as he let water burn his eyes so he could see her. He found her fast enough, the moron. He looped his arms around her as he dragged her to the surface. Once he breached the surface it was only an arm's length to the edge and once his hand touched the side Jackson pulled her out of the water. But Jared kept his hands on her.
Janie. God, how could he forget Janie. It was back, that damn puzzle piece and it was laying on the side of the pool. "Janie, wake up." She wasn't moving. It was his fault. He had spent too damn long trying to remember something he should have never forgotten. If only she hadn't tripped and hit her head. If only he hadn't forgotton her. He was an idiot. But so was she. And she was his idiot.
"Janie, open your eyes. I need you to open you eyes." He was crouching over her, hands on her cheeks as he tried to will her eyes open. He needed to apologize. He leaned closer, someone was crying. It was Gail. There was another good reason for Janie to wake up.
Someone yelled something about CPR but he didn't know it. Janie did. He let her go so she was laying flat and moved his hands to her chest, trying to imitate what he saw in movies. He put one hand over the other and began pushing into her chest. The necklace was still tangled in his fingers but he didn't stop. He was worried he wasn't pressing hard enough. He was worried he was pressing too hard. He was terrified it wouldn't work.
Someone said to keep going so he did. Then he stopped, ready to try that kiss of life thing to push the air back in her lungs but it wasn't needed.
She coughed and it was most glorious sound he had ever heard. There was a collective sigh from the crowd as he swept her up into his arms while she finished coughing and started to open her eyes.
"Janie, look at me." She did, dark eyes fixing on him in a scowl.
"Took you long enough."
"Shut up." He pulled her to his chest holding her tight. He felt her place a hand on his back and pull him closer. It felt good. It felt like home. "I missed you, Janie."
"I can't believe it's over." Gail was so relieved she felt it everywhere. After the ambulance took Janie and Jared away the party had quietly dispersed. Ian hadn't wasted a second escorting her back to his car to take her home.
He didn't answer. Just smiled and continued to focus on the road. It was so late but he showed no sign of tiring. Instead he seemed more alert. There was something going on and Gail had to resist the urge to ask him what he was thinking.
They'd been in a strange stalemate. Ever since his declaration at Jared's failed wedding they simply hadn't spoken of it. He'd been present and nearby, quite often truly but they never went past a certain point. When Janie had disappeared he had checked in on her often, just to see how she was doing. He had taken her to breakfast after her graduation to celebrate. They had been talking about her college plans that night before the accident. But he didn't say anymore if he wanted to date and she didn't have the heart to ask.
When they got back to the city it was so late that she started to drift off, not really paying attention to where they were going. Then suddenly, they were at his place.
"What are we doing?"
"I need to show you something." He parked the car in the garage and swiftly stepped out. Gail fumbled with her seatbelt as she tried to follow after him. He was already in the house before she was stepping out of the car. It had been awhile since she was in his house. Once she reached the main floor she recognized where she was but Ian was gone.
"Ian?" She wished he had turned on the lights. The only lights were from outside. Down the hallway she heard a noise, a soft one right before a light flickered on. She recognized the hallway that led to his studio, and that was where the light was coming from.
It didn't take long to reach the studio, and it took even less time for her to recognize the familiar sight of a single canvas standing in the center of the room. It was just as neat as the last time she saw it and as she entered she finally found Ian waiting patiently.
His arms were folded but his eyes were dancing as he nodded towards the canvas. She didn't need any further direction. She stood before the easel and slowly pulled on the white cloth until it fell away to reveal the painting underneath.
Gail had to take a step back. And then another. Her hands rose to clutch in front of her chest before she felt self-conscious and made the effort to put them back at her side. "I don't know what to say."
"That's new." She hadn't realized how close he was. As he moved to stand near her he didn't look at the painting, just her. "But as amusing as I find that, I'd really like to know what you think."
"What can I think? Ian, this is, it's amazing." He let out a sigh of relief as his body visibly relaxed. "Are you honestly surprised?"
Laughing softly he held up one finger. "As I recall, I was pretty confident last time."
"Sure, but that was different." That painting, she still thought of it sometimes. Wondering is she over reacted, since it resulted in such destruction with Ian cutting his hand and tearing it apart. Her face, but not really, painting a scene so far from herself it hurt to look at it.
This was entirely different. It was her, again, but not like before. The painting started at the bridge of her nose, just under her eyes, and ended just below the curve of her hips. She was wearing one of her favorite tops, a loose fitting blue satin top that she thought set off her eyes. Although, they weren't involved in the painting so it didn't matter much. The focus at the center of the canvas were her hands. That's why she had been momentarily self conscious. They were clutched at her breast like she always held them in moments of concern or discomfort.
Maybe she should have been offended. The painting was so realistic down to the freckles on her skin and the faint laugh lines around her mouth. There was a blush on her cheek that traveled down her neck. Combined with her clutched hands, this was a painting of her exposed.
But it was her. "I don't know what to say."
He laughed softly. "You can at least say you like it."
"How could I not? Ian, it's me." She looked at him, as a soft sort of guilt crept into her. "I'm sorry, for what I said at the wedding."
"You weren't wrong sweetheart. I've kept everyone at arm's length for a long time, especially women. But I just couldn't stay away from you. What you said was true and I don't hold it against you that you don't want to date. I'm still young. I think I need to find myself. Especially the part of me that deserves to date and maybe, someday, marry."
Gail couldn't help but feel the blush creeping into her cheeks. He had stepped in front of her, reaching out to gently take her elbows so she had to face him. And what he was really saying. "You're leaving."
"I am."
"When?"
"The same day as Jared. We're going to fly together and then separate. I'm going to travel Europe and study and learn my craft. And myself."
She nodded. "For how long?"
"Four years. Consider it my education. Just a little more unconventional then yours." He was till holding her, face shifting from an almost smile to tight frown. "I'm sorry Gail, I don't want to leave you. But I promise you, when I come back you will be the first person I find and the first thing I'll ask you is if you'll come on a date with me. Would you, would you wait for me Gail?"
"You won't visit."
"Do you know why?"
"It would be too hard to leave again."
He nodded. "But if it's okay with you, I'll call you daily. I'll write and text and I will miss you. I just need to know, if you want me to."
There was so little space between them. His hands were still gently gripping her arms at the elbow as he waited patiently for her answer. She had words for him. That she would absolutely wait. That he had proven himself more then he needed to.
She could have said something like that, but she didn't. Instead she pulled her arms in tight so he lost his grip. His face fell for a moment right before she reached up to place her hands on his neck and pull him to her in a fast kiss.
Hesitation gone, he fully embraced her brazenness, clearly getting her message. She would wait for him. There simply wasn't any other option for her.
When they separated she made sure to take a few steps back. The grin spread across Ian's face made her smile as well.
"I'll see you in four years Ian and not a day before." She was breathless, which only made Ian laugh.
"You can count on it."
Janie took a few steps, paused, and looked back. Jared was there, buying a bottle of water from a vendor. When he saw her watching him exchange money with salesman he smiled. So did she.
The moment she woke in Jared's arms may have been the happiest of her life. He had stayed with her when the ambulance took her to the hospital to check her lungs. He had called a car when they left and she had fallen asleep in the back of that car with his arms around her.
When she had awoken in the spare bedroom of his apartment, with Jared reading a paper nearby she thought her heart would burst from the happiness she felt. They didn't have a lot of time, that was the first thing he had told her that morning.
"There's no time for me to feel guilty for forgetting you, or for you to take it out on me, like I'm sure you want to. In five days I'm getting on a plan for London and I'm not going to come back for four years. That was the deal we made. We'll be able to call and skype and text. But I won't be back and you can't come to me. But I will come back, you can count on it."
What could she say to that except, yes of course. They didn't spend a moment apart, day or night. The next day they had spent with her family, the boys were absolutely ecstatic and so was her mom. She tried to take it all in, just his entire presence as they went about his preparations for leaving and her preparations for school over the next two days.
And now, on his last day in New York City before leaving for four years, he had wanted to have a date in the park. When he finished grabbing the water bottle he jogged up to meet her and they continue walking. It may have been hot, but the humidity wasn't hanging in the air so they continued to the park until he excitedly grabbed her hand.
"Oh wait, it's this way."
"What?" But he didn't answer, just laughed as he dragged her down a path until she too recognized where they were going.
It had been so long since the night of their first disastrous date which had found both success and failure on that bench. Somehow, Janie was glad that they had found their way back.
He pulled her down next to him but kept a tight hold on her hands. "Let's play the game."
"Really?"
"Yeah, it's been awhile. And, I know I said we didn't have time for the negative stuff but there's something I need to ask."
Janie felt herself stiffen but nodded. "Go ahead, I think it'd be better to get that out of the way while I can actually do something."
"Something like?"
She playfully raised a fist and popped him gently on the jaw. "That."
Jared just laughed at that and confiscated her hands more. "Fair enough. Then can I start?" She nodded. "I know my mother threatened you but I also know you. It would take a very, very serious threat for you to disappear. What was it?"
No wonder he had asked permission before that question. Still, there was nothing to lose now. "She threatened Jimmy."
"The toddler?"
"Who else? Showed me a picture, a letter. She was going to have some dude who looked like Jimmy pretend to be his father a claim him. She made it very clear that she could use her influence to fudge the whole testing and court process so by the time we got Jimmy back he would be older and confused and probably angry at being taken home. It would have ruined my family. I had to protect them. I'm sorry."
"Don't be." His face was tight, lines creasing his forehead. "She's terrible."
"Maybe. But she didn't want to lose you, and I can understand that. Do I get a turn?"
"Of course!"
"Okay. Why did you like Annabelle?" Jared groaned and tried to pull away but she grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "Yay, you have to answer Pullman!"
He threw his head back and groaned louder. "You're gonna call me a pervert again!"
"What?"
Jared covered his face his hand as he spoke quickly. "The first thing I saw when I woke up was her hair, I touched it. It felt really familiar. Because, damnit Janie, it was like your hair and you know I love it."
"Ugh, you are a pervert."
"You jerk!" She laughed as he shook her in retaliation which did nothing to ease her mirth.
"You're so dumb! I should have just rubbed by hair in your face instead of making you those damn cupcakes!"
"Oh, those were good. And they did help."
She finally stopped laughing. "What? How?"
Jared stared at her, then slowly a smile crept onto his face as his eyes brightened. "I didn't know I was remembering you, not in the moment. But every time something reminded me of you, it felt like home." He reached a hand up to cup her cheek. "When I saw her hair, I knew it. When I tasted those cupcakes, I knew someone who cared for me had made them. When I read the poem, I knew someone who loved me had read it to me before. When I heard you read it, somehow, I knew that person was you. When I held that necklace, I knew I had given it to someone I loved. Janie, everything you did led me to the right answer."
"And what was that?"
He lifted his other hand and held her face gently as the smile on his face warmed her. "That the person I loved was you." He kissed her, softly at first but when she moved to pull him closer he responded enthusiastically. Pulling her tight as his lips moved hungrily against hers.
She was surprised when he pulled away, face suddenly serious. "I have to tell you something else, two things really."
"Yeah, okay."
He slipped off the bench and moved to his knees in front of her, hands drifting to her hips as he looked up at her. "The thing is, I don't want you to come to the airport tomorrow."
"What?" Her voice was sharp and he quickly continued.
"No listen, its just that it'll be too hard to say good bye. To walk away from you there, I'm not sure I can. So we'll say good bye tonight. I'll take you home and we'll say goodbye like it's the end to any date but the next time we talk, I'll be far away. Does that make sense?"
"I guess. What's the second thing."
"Ah," He was smiling now, that quirky smile and she knew he was up to something. "When I come back I'm going to ask you a question. I'll ask it now so you'll have time to think about it but I'll need an answer in 4 years. All right?"
"Sure."
"Janie Doe, will you marry me?"
"Oh."
Author's note: Yay! We're almost at the dramatic conclusion. Can you believe it? I can't. I hope the time jumping in this didn't mess with you guys too much. It got a little tricky the last couple chapters. One more to go! Stay tuned and as always, review and favorite. 3