Ch. 25: The Beginning Of A Bad Idea
Silence. That's all I hear after I tell Halley of my news. I'm biting my lips hard as I mentally tell myself to breathe in… and breathe out. I have no clue why I'm doing this. This is so reckless of me, unlike me, and I am pretty sure that Halley is supposed to be screaming at me right now. But at this moment, after telling Halley that I am resigning my job as her Maid of Honor, anything can happen.
I try to distract myself by counting the seconds that pass by in my head, and for some reason I just want to laugh at how awkward I feel because it'll sound better than the silence. It takes everything not to even chuckle because I know down the future I will be able to look back and say to Halley, Remember that time when I called you and told you that I didn't want to be your maid of honor anymore. We both freaked out so much that it almost made me pee my pants…. Yea it'll go something along those lines and then Halley will say how it was really no big deal.
After five minutes I am unsure if Halley has hung up on me or not. Doing a quick prayer in my mind, I softly say, "Halley?" And just like that, all hell breaks loose.
When Trish finally makes her way to my apartment, she finds me in a corner of my bedroom. I'm pigging out on dark chocolate ice cream as I mumble to myself the reasons why stuff like this happen to me. So far everything seems to come back to the fact that my kindergarten teacher chose my butterfly song over Tilly Thompson's ladybug song. Maybe if Tilly had just performed her stupid song then Karma would hate me just a bit less. And when Trish asks me what's wrong, I break out crying as I say, "I need more chocolate!"
After Trish calms me down, I finally start telling her what happened after I told Halley the wonderful news of me renouncing my job as a Maid of Honor.
"So after I said her name to check whether she was on the dang phone or not, she just started to scream. I swear I will never be able to hear correctly from my right ear anymore because of that. Anyway, after she was done with her state of shock she started to tell me what a horrible person I am for leaving her at a time like this and that I am a conceited, prissy, know it all, who is too judgmental to have any real friends."
Trish keeps patting my back in comfort as she keeps rolling her eyes at the absurdities that she is hearing. All I keep doing is eating chunks of ice cream every time I stop to take a breathier.
"Trish she made me feel horrible. I kept trying to explain that I have too many preparations to make for my own wedding that I don't think I will be able to concentrate on her like she wants me too. And just when I thought the worst had been said, it gets better.
'Halley told me, in her own words, 'You know, I see the way you look at Austin. With those brown eyes that seem to hope for something that will never happen. Austin told me about your past with him, and trust me, I know more than I would ever want to know.
'At first it annoyed me, especially since I didn't know that information when I asked you to be my Maid of Honor. Although it worked out perfectly after since I was able to see how you acted with him. But then I thought, well that all happened in the past. And right now we live in the present. And in the present Austin is with me and not you.
'I know you still have feelings for him even though you're getting married to my cousin. And it's a shame you let Austin go but a blessing for me. So I am going to say this loud and clear, STAY AWAY FROM AUSTIN! He's made a choice. He's ok with how we are and happy with the way things are turning out to be. I feel sorry that you couldn't realize what you had with him, but hope you live a happier life with my cousin. OH and if you didn't realize it, you're uninvited to the wedding. Bye whore."
Tears are streaming down my face all over again as I say in a mumble of words, "Oh God Trish! Halley is right. I am a whore!"
Seeing me panic all over again, Trish hands me another bucket of ice cream as she keeps reassuring me that I am not. After finishing two tubs of ice cream, five boxes of tissues, and having a screaming match with Trish on whether I am a slut or not, I am finally all put back together.
When it comes time for Trish to leave, she lets me know that if I need her in the middle of the night she is always a phone call away. Gosh I am so lucky to have a friend like her. Just as I am walking her out the door she tells me, "Ally do you love Zayn?"
I raise an eyebrow as I say, "Well of course I do. I am marrying the guy for heaven's sake."
Letting out an annoyed sigh, Trish once again asks, "No I mean love him head over heels kind of way; the kind where you do crazy stupid things for the sake of loving him. Do you love him?"
Shaking my head I reassure that if I didn't I wouldn't have said yes to his proposal but when she does leave, all I can think about is the fact if I really do love Zayn, or the idea Zayn and me could be.