Disclaimer: If I OWNED BLEACH-well it would probably become HOT-MAN LOVIN' AND NOTHIN LESS. I am not Kubo-sensei

3 years ago Isshin walked out on Masaki with out even saying goodbye. One morning Ichigo wakes up to find a large crate sitting outside his bedroom door. Inside the crate is a "doll" who might have the answers to his father's disappearance.

But what does the "doll" want in return? The berry of course!

Warnings: AU Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation, selfish!Isshin, some OOC-ness, WIP.

A/N why am I writing yet another story? Because there is not enough KenIchi appreciation going around. Correction, this is not enough PROPER KenIchi appreciation going around.

Inspiration comes from BonneNuit (the only one who bothers to read this crap) My Size Barbie and Pinocchio.

Pairings: KenpachixIchigo (NnoitraxIchigo, GrimmjowxIchigo StarrkIchigo, KazeshinixIchigo) Others

LIFESIZE

CHAPTER TWO

A set of footsteps running up the stairs.

Fairly light on the landing so it clearly belonged to a female.

The door to bedroom was pushed open and a girl who appeared to be around the age 14 or 15 stepped inside the room.

Her hair was short in length and black in color. Eyes dark and wide.

She was wearing a red baseball, a white and red striped jersey and blue jeans, which had certainly seen better days.

"Ichi-nii what's all the commotion? Oh I see you got one too."

"What do you mean by that Karin?"

"The dolls. My doll is downstairs right now."

"Downstairs? You mean you're letting a half naked man run around down stairs?"

Karin was the smart one. Well technically no one in Ichigo's household was dumb but still why had she—it wasn't like her to be so careless.

He just hoped Yuzu was still away at her ballet practice. He had no idea how he would hide two full grown men from his younger sister—one was bad enough but—

"Don't be stupid." Karin rolled her eyes. "One it's a female and two, she's dressed."

A woman? So a strange half naked woman was running around down stairs.

Oh dear god!

That wasn't much better.

Uncle Zan was down there.

And the old hentai couldn't control him self when a sexy half naked woman was in the house.

Oh well at least he had "Shiro" His beloved albino kitten could alert him if there was truly something to worry about.

"Any way Kaa-san wants to meet your "doll" too. So hurry up and get dressed."

The girl turned to leave but the doll (Kenpachi) caught her arm.

She glared up at him "Did you need something Tarzan?"

Kenpachi grinned. "Couldn't see the resemblance at first but your chin, it's just like his."

Karin narrowed her eyes at the large beast like looking "doll"

"Don't compare me to that heartless prick!" with a snarl that was quite out of character, the girl yanked her arm back and stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

Ichigo wasn't quite sure what to make of the heated exchange between Kenpachi and Karin but he had a hunch it might have something to do with goat face.

Bastard. Causing such drama even when he's not even here.

"See the temper runs in the family."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all." Kenpachi grinned "Better hop to it Twinkle B! Don't think we should keep the lady of the house waiting.

()()()()()()

Out the door, down the stairs and out into the garden.

Was it really necessary for Kenpachi to carry him over the threshold?

Probably not but he certainly wasn't going to complain about it.

()()()()()()()

It was pretty obvious that a large portion of the Ichigo's features came from his mother.

Hair, long, soft and wavy and the color brass and copper toned. Eyes like honeycombs with specs of amber. Filled with warmth but slightly clouded by heartache.

Kneeling over a patch of wild flowers in her peach creamed camisole and long off-white skirt.

She stood up noticing the "doll" and her one and only son.

Her smile was brighter than the sun itself.

"Ichigo."

The orange haired male returned the smile and the "doll felt his heart melt just a little.

"Kaa-san."

The woman's eyes fell upon the "doll". She put out her hand

"I'm Masaki and you are?"

"Kenpachi."

"Nice to meet you Kenpachi. Ichigo isn't the most sociable person so you can imagine my delight when I learned of your arrival." She studied him for a moment "Have you know each other long?"

Kenpachi glanced at the youth who was currently engaged in a conversation with a white cat.

The cat (despite being a simple cat) seemed to understand Ichigo.

"Nah. Just met recently but I've heard a lot about you."

This was not a lie.

The "doll" had heard a great deal about the beautiful and talented Masaki.

Isshin carried a picture of the woman in his wallet and always brought it out at least 3 times a day. Inside his office, the man had pasted a poster of the woman on the wall and would usually have long in depth conversations with the inanimate object.

"Oh?" the woman's eyes twinkled with mirth "All good things I hope?"

Kenpachi grinned "Only the best."

"I'm glad." She glanced down at her watch "Oh! I'm sorry to interrupt the middle of our conversation like this Kenpachi but I really must get going."

"It's not a problem. Being a single mother of three, of course you're gonna be busy."

"Yes well I should be back in a few hours. If you'd like you can join us for dinner? Possibly spend the night? We have plenty of room."

"Well I don't want to be a burden-"

"Don't be ridiculous. We've already invited Rangiku-chan to stay for the week, one more person isn't a problem."

Ichigo caught the tail end of the conversation between Kenpachi and his mother.

And wondered if this Rangiku-chan could be the other "doll"

()()()()()()()

Dressed? Right?

The woman's boobs were spilling out of her hot pink tank top. Her stockings were fishnet and her skirt (if you could even call it that) looked like underwear.

It did not help that she appeared to have the evil glomp syndrome.

"Aren't you the cutest little strawberry?"

Ichigo felt like he would die from suffocation.

Luckily the assault didn't last long since Kenpachi dragged him away from the woman and back up the stairs.

The orange haired male thought it was best to ignore the bulge in the "doll's" pants.

()()()()()()()

To be pulled away from a daydream about his sexy pet was most unfair.

There better be a damn good reason for it.

"What?"

"I can hear it."

"Hear what?"

"My twinkle fairy, I can hear him yelling."

It was a damn good thing that the blue haired puss was known for having super sonic hearing otherwise Nnoitra would have taken his size 12 foot and kicked Grimm right in the face.

Break his jaw. Watch in sadistic delight as blood gushed out.

"What do you mean you can hear MY pet yelling?"

"It's a cry for help."

"How can you be sure?"

"I just know."

"Hmm. Well it's a good thing we're headed that way then isn't it?"

"Yeah. Where the hell did Starrk and Shini run off to?"

"Convenience store. I'm all outta cigs."

"You coulda bummed one offa me."

"As if I'd want to touch anything of yours!"

"Whatever. Any way better tell those bastards to hurry up or I'm leaving."

Beady black eyes narrowed to slits.

"The hell you are. Ichi is MINE. If anyone is going to rescue em' it'll be ME."

()()()()()()()

He just wanted a simple shower.

That was all.

It wasn't even a long one.

Just a quick wash, lather and rinse.

The horror!

The absolute horror!

That the orange haired male should enter his bedroom to find the "doll" rubbing himself against his favorite neon blue panther plushie.

He nearly cried.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

The "doll" paid no mind to the screaming youth. He just continued on with his task.

"STOP!"

The youth yelled again and quickly crossed the room and approached the man who was violating both his beloved panther plushie and his prized mattress.

"Give me that!"

The "doll's" grin was wild and unfortunately for Ichigo, Kenpachi had misinterpreted his demand as something else.

The plushie was tossed off the bed and before he could blink, Ichigo was flipped on to his stomach and the "doll" pulled his towel off.

Damn it! Why hadn't he thought to put pants on before reentering his bedroom?

TBC